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Tony Tea

Tren. Gove.

Professor Rosseforp

AFL is of zero interest to me, and league only marginally more.
But at the finals stages I noticed both leaguie and Afllie commentators were united on one thing: they all began to use the term "illumination finals", and various teams were illuminated in each game.

Tony Tea

Blimey! I'm stumped. Never heard of "illumination finals".

Cameron

Crap sport...dewd.

Cameron

What is it this week? Say yes to faggots day?

Cameron

Shit sport, glorified force 'em backs.

Tony Tea

League's okay. No one would notice if Rugby Union disappeared today.

M. Patard

Was that a normal sort of penalty count? 22 - 9 in the end.


Swans got flogged by the umps. They would have slaughtered the Hawks if the game was umped fairly. As Croc Ryan says "It's not so much the penalties against you, it's the one's you don't get that hurt."

M. Patard

Canterbury Eels get up tomorrow and it's a Sydney double. Doing the Harbour Bridge on the Vics is always enjoyable.

Cameron

Fuck off M. Patard, go the Storm.

Cameron

NRL FR post!

I demand it!

Tony Tea

National karma dictates that Storm win to keep the country on its axis.

Cameron

Can't wait for Mr. Patards anti-News Ltd reply.

The Mongrel

I don't impress very easily, but by gum that was a good GF today.

The Swans were 2 goals down late in the last quarter, with injuries and looking dead on their feet against the Hawks on the MCG (where the Swans never win).

What did they do? Why, kick the last 4 goals of the game of course.

My uncle even called me to say how impressed he was with the Swans, and that everyone at the Union Hotel in West Brunswick was going for them too! Verily, the world is off its axis today.

M. Patard

Funny how the ads say that Storm will be seeking "redemption". I seem to recall the Doggies did their own salary cap rort, or is that too long ago to remember? At least the Storm didn't also go on a rape and pillage campaign on the central coast.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing Billy Dog-act Slater getting some knees to his heart and soul today, in retribution for his knees in the try scorers kidneys, throughout his not maligned enough career.

BulldogEels to win by a short forward pass from Keating to a rampaging Pritchard at least 2 metres offside, who passes the ball to a flying Inu shepherded, sorry, decoyed, by Kasiano who flattens CooperSmithCronk taking out the entire defensive wall, Inu then floats a Joe Montana 30 yard special downfield to Wright for a "touchdown!".

Video Ref says "Benefit of the doubt" and the Doggies fans start stabbing each other, as they win the GF.

Bellamy is sobbing, as Tod Lowrie declares it's time to go back to fairness and decency, and promptly departs back to the home of it all, the mighty Blue and Gold. Bryan Norrie goes back to the knackery.

Cameron sharts his News Ltd B tracksuit pants simultaneously projectile beer vomiting all over his parent's walls, floor, TV and his mum's new doilies.

Go the Canterbury Eeels!

Professor Rosseforp

"short forward pass from Keating to a rampaging Pritchard at least 2 metres offside, who passes the ball to a flying Inu shepherded, sorry, decoyed, by Kasiano who flattens CooperSmithCronk taking out the entire defensive wall" -- M. Patard has been reading the coach's notes again.
I'm sure the refs have been told, "don't slow up the game with rules. The last thing we want is a couple of tries denied just because the passes are a mile forward."

M. Patard

Just basking in the sun in the heart of Bankusstown, at the olds, after driving up Hijab Boulevarde.

It's wall to wall blue and white, tooting horns, rocket propelled grenade launchers being prepared for celebrations, as the "Doggies, Doggies, Doggies" call to prayer goes out.

Just thinking that if I really want to get a reaction I should mount a Storm flag, with Israel flag atop.

I wonder if Jews are Storm fans?

Would make for great fan reactions.

M. Patard

There's an ominous silence at half time. Burka Street is pensive.

Tony Archer's 3 penalties to one may result in a fatwa (deserved), and it's only Cameron Smith's off target radar keeping a resolute, though tiring Doggged Dog Defence in this one.

The First Law of NRL Thermodynamics states: for every lopsided penalty count, there must always be an even up.

Watch for the double up, and, depending on the result, there is the game.

M. Patard

In a malevolent pent up thunderbolt of acid air reminiscent of things better left unsaid, here, on the ground, we stare bereft of excitement but stunned, by an offside defence fest.

The 3-1 count by tony archer was never returned. For some reason, no one ever held down a play the ball again after his bell had told.

One of the most boring gfs ever played dwindeld to its sullen conclusion, as footy fans watched on, hoping somone would do something remotely resembling league.

In the end, MMA won the day, Tony Archer luminary, the streets where I sleep tonight saved from rocket attacks, tomorrow the low level violence returns.

Tony Tea

Petard, I'm sure you will agree that a Storm win is a win for Rugby League's true believers. Join me in raising our your hat to Melbourne, Rugby League's heartland.

M. Patard

Dear Sir Tony, as much as I feel sickened to ever have barracked for the blue and white shitbags, tonight I feel like a victim of Double Stockholm Syndrome.

To which offender do I face, and beg?

The emptyness I feel now shall only be recovered later tonight as I defend my Mitsubishu wagon from repeat attacks of disgruntled Doggies fans.

Allah Akbah as we have learned to say.

M. Patard

Dear Sir Tony,

We here on the outpost can only feel a double jolt of excitment, sadness, and loss.

The last, not part of the double jolt (obviously), is the only empty feeling we have as the long, slow heat of the remainedr of our nation swelters on.

To Tony Archer and his 3-1 penalty count.

To an offside defence.

To the most pathetic lack of analysis, let alone commentary team, which we are stranded with for another 5 years at least: League, I salute your marketing!

Tomorrow is a holiday, so, for tonight at least, we pretend to regard this game as something that means anything other than, may the best connected team win.

Cameron

'To an offside defence.'

You got out-coached plain and simple. The Raiders used the same 'up and in' defensive tactic to stomp the Dogs, you'd think St. Des would have come up with a plan b in the preceding month.

M. Patard

Camsa, I do believe, that your News Ltd B team would have to go down as "the failures of the decade" (tm).

Seven (7) SoO players yet they bowed out to a couple of Cowgirls.

Suck my hugely engorged cock ( 5 viagras swallowed).

Cameron

Least 'my A team' won.

Your B team got the spoon and your A team second last.

I do believe your season has to go down as the 'greatest disappointment since Stalingrad' (tm).

M. Patard

"Your", "my" you're stretching terms there.

Much like your ring as you spread it for Nacho Vidal and his invasion of all that is good right and news ltd.

Whatever floats your slander boat. Just settling back now to watch an old dvd, Triumph of the Will.

Cameron

Good for you Von Paulus, you might learn something.

M. Patard

Paulus was a better man than you'll ever be.

Cameron

A Prussian Field Marshall a better man than some blowhard blog commenter, ya think?

Tony Tea

James Graham must have been at Stalingrad, but I guess corn washed out of shit was not to his taste.

M. Patard

Your'e fucking kidding. You've deleted the blog, not but once again.

M. Patard

Graham knows a halal meal when he sees one.

Tony Tea

Who deleted what blog?

M. Patard

News Ltd B deleted the combined occupied forces.

For the umpteempth time.

Tis a sad day, several times foretold.

Professor Rosseforp

I thought it was just me, since the commentators kept telling us how fantastic the match was. I watched the RL final and found it tedious. I tipped Melbourne would win just before the kickoff, when the dressing rooms showed Melbourne guys trying to lift their opponents who were carrying portable mattresses. By contrast, the Bulldogs were gently flicking balls around.
A couple of good individual jumps and tackles, Ben Barba was put back in his box by Melbourne, questionable refereeing (no surprise) and a minor punchup. Not very interesting, and the Bulldogs had nothing to offer at any stage that hinted at a possible victory for them.

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