WHAT GOES DOWN MUST COME UP

Bing! Bong!

Commentators calling matches featuring registered Down Hill Skiers must henceforth refer to the ends of the ground as "up back" and "down forward".

Thank you for your detention.

Comments

[Ann ODyne]

When I was young, people spoke, of immorality,
All the things they said were wrong,
Are what I want to be
(Hey)
Over under sideways down,
(Hey)
Backwards forwards square and round
Where will it end ...

[Bruce]

The history of First to Lose to every other club in the Comp.

1897 - the first season of the VFL and by virtue of a winless season the mantle goes to St Kilda.

1910 - the addition of University and Richmond. St Kilda lost to University in the first round and Richmond in Rd6 to retain the title.

1925 - Hawthorn, North Melbourne and Footscray join. Hawthorn lose to Footscray in Rd16 to fill their card of losses and take the mantle.

1987 - Bears and Eagles join and first to lose to both is North Melbourne in Rd1 and Rd6.

1991 - Adelaide join and immediately beat Hawthorn to return them the first loss to everyone.

1995 - Freo join and Fitzroy immediately lose to them (like they were losing to everyone)

1997 - Port's first win is against Geelong so they take the title.

2011 - Port Adelaide take it back after giving the Gold Coast their first victory.

2012 - Port Adelaide retain it with the loss to Greater Western Sydney.

Doesn't really mean anything other than who was at an ebb at a time of expansion but a nice diversion for me.
Does not consider mergers or relocations to be a new club.