WAGGRO

Cheesed off cheese cake:

It hurts to be judged AFL WAGs complain after Brownlow Medal

BROWNLOW night WAGs have slammed the annual critique of their fashion, saying the pressure on them is unfair.

Whose fault is it that the wags get bagged?

Well, for a start, the TV channels could drop their coloured carpet coverage. This would remove the need for the wags to frock up, strike poses and announce which TAFE student had designed their gown.

Ditto the Herald Sun. If the little paper stopped hyperventilating over media tarts like Brynne Tin Tin, a modicum of perspective might revisit the occasion:

Brynne Gordon promises to shock again

dazzling socialite, wowed Melbourne, blonde bombshell, serious competition, show stopper

I mean, really.

Not that common sense is entirely absent from the event. Hats off - exquisitely embellished hats, of course - to Felicity Harley and Erin Maxwell:

"You can either buy into the Brownlow and get someone to dress you and say yes to doing lots of media things, or you can go there and just wear the easiest dress you can find," Ms Harley said."

"You're not forced into the spotlight," Ms Maxwell said. "You don't have to get a free dress and you don't have to put pressure on yourself to promote a designer."

But what do I know?

While I thought Lauren Phillips looked fantastic - especially when she hopped into Lez Ellis on the blue carpet - my best went to almost everyone else's worst, Lucy Cornes. Her refusal to go uber-formal echoes the sentiments of Felicity Harley and Erin Maxwell. Will it set a trend for next year's Gownlow?

OPEN NECKED DRAWLER

The press boys could tone it down, too.

Hello, laydeeeez:

Comments

[Big Ramifications]

Yeah, same argument when the media complains about "unworthy" Brownlow winners. THEN STOP PUTTING IT ON THE TEEV. Stop calling it the "night of nights." Stop the office bunfight for the 4 tickets allocated to 12 staffers. Don't talk about it if it's on a rival network. Ignore it if it's so bad. Televise your own "Channel 7, 9, 10 Footballer of the Year as Voted by Robert Walls and his Team of Experts."

I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall for the AFLPA vote count. I reckon that might be televised soon.

Two main complaints from me [from the count - not including the half hour blue carpet intro].

1. Having the favourites walk along a catwalk at the start. How embarrassment. Every year the media seems to intrude more, have players jump thru hoops like performing poodles. When is someone finally going to say "no farking way - ain't gonna happen"?

Think of the fashion parade scene from Slapshot. "I look like some COCK SARKING F*GGOT in this thing!"

2. They had a lengthy interview with the squeeze of the winner. WTF? Having said that, Twigs has a great footy brain. It was a really good interview. Had a chuckle when she said Cox "put it down his throat each week" when her man was an Eagle. Phnaw phnaw.

Compare it to Ling's squeeze being interviewed on the blue carpet. It might have been nerves, but she seemed like a total dunce when it came to football.

[Big Ramifications]

I don't want to come across as a total grump. I agree with most of the complaints about the frocks and the count itself.

I still find it interesting and enjoyable, but at the same time I realise the absurdity of it all. "So you bump nasties with Chris Judd? Love what you're wearing you look gorgeous. What is your opinion of Chris Judd the player?"

I'm fairly certain it was a commenter on this blog who said there is no bigger turn-on than hearing a posh English woman pronounce the word "cock."

I reckon listening to a super hawt, frocked up babe intelligently talk about football is right up there in the turn-on stakes. Rebecca Twiggly, I am in love with you. Erm. Kind of. In a distant, non stalkerish way.

[Pat]

"...there is no bigger turn-on than hearing a posh English woman pronounce the word "cock."

Who was that sick maniac then? I hate pommy porno with all their "Eoowhh, wots this then ay? cor now thats a cawk and a arf! git tha bi fella up me then gawaaaaannn!! Man alive, snough to make me eyes water. C'mon lads, git it in me."

German on the other hand. Woohoo. It's all Kunts and Kocks with them, well dressed and mannered. Not some pom fat arsed slapper tits up against an alley wall waiting for the wallopers to give her a once over.

I thought you had class Rammer?!

[Pat]

"He had a truncheon for a dong with a head on it like burglar's torch."

That's a good line though I gotta admit.

[Pat]

Did I just leave italics on?

[Pat]

Got that line from Tommy Conlon's critique of pommy porn.

[Pat]

Italics begone

[Pat]

Thought that'd work. Over to you Tones.

[Big Ramifications]

You idiot. :)

ps: I said a *POSH* accent. You know? Blue blood. Not some Essex slapper.

//not my theory, but I have to concur

[Con Kerr]

Oy!

[Pat]

Posh as in Posh Spice? There's nought but Essex slapper's far as I can see. I carn't tell the accents when they're all gargling the aaaarAb juice, unlike the Anzac hating slappers that our man Tones gives respite.

How's that workin' out Tones? I'm sure you'll get linked at The Aged soon enough wat wiv the compny yers keep.

Talkin to a sub continental today and even he reckons Muralis a Chucker Khan! Racisimssims all around brother. Time to suck it up and down a few before yer seven's up.

[Pat]

Life's good when the blog owner's away. Ya can say "faggott" without a dash, "cunt" without a moralising soliloquy, ya can say that White rules (Victorian cricket) and get away with it, and best of all, that Ozzy Rules is all about the red carpet.

[Pat]

Red Carpet = professionalism

[Yobbo]

Also, on a somewhat related topic, the result of the count was an absolute farce which just goes to reinforce the stupidity of having an award given by umpires.

[Tony]

Idiots... I mean, italics off.

The Brownlow is obviously flawed when you consider some of the champs who have not won. Bartlett, Matthews, Carey, Whitten and Father Ablett to name a few obvious contenders.

But while it is the Night of Nights of the AFL and its broadcast partners it will continue to be flogged in its current format.

[TimT]

In like Brynne.

Or should that be ynne like Brynne?

[Tony]

In like Brynne. I like. Henceforth "In like Brynne" will be a sobriquet for attendees who mysteriously get in to Big Events, although no one can work out why.

[Francis Xavier Holden]

But what do I know?

Would it be rude to suggest - Fuck all?

[Tony]

Rude, yes. Correct, also yes.