AGB Footy

GREED ALL ABOUT IT!

SHTICKLER FOR THE RULES

Good one, Andrew.

FUDGEMENT DAY

Collingwood or StKilda? My heart says neither; my head says the Saints are good things, if the Pies play bad.

GRAND OLD FACTS

Ironically, number 31, Melbourne's most famous number, is the least attractive of the hundred:

100 Melbourne grand final facts

1 - Melbourne has won 12 premierships (1900, 1926, 1939, 1940, 1941, 1948, 1955, 1956, 1957, 1959, 1960 and 1964)

101:

The 1941 Grand Final showcased one of the gutsiest triumphs in the long and decorated history of the Melbourne Football Club. The Demons were severely depleted - they were missing about 12 players due to war service and injury - and faced a full strength Essendon, and were on the end of an astonishingly lopsided free kick count, which favoured the Bombers 52-20. But the Bombers posed no threat to the Demons, who put the premiership beyond doubt with an 11-goal to two first half. As Smith simply stated: "We won the premiership easily."

As Smith really wanted to state: "Suck on that, maggot."

WAGGRO

Cheesed off cheese cake:

It hurts to be judged AFL WAGs complain after Brownlow Medal

BROWNLOW night WAGs have slammed the annual critique of their fashion, saying the pressure on them is unfair.

Whose fault is it that the wags get bagged?

Well, for a start, the TV channels could drop their coloured carpet coverage. This would remove the need for the wags to frock up, strike poses and announce which TAFE student had designed their gown.

Ditto the Herald Sun. If the little paper stopped hyperventilating over media tarts like Brynne Tin Tin, a modicum of perspective might revisit the occasion:

Brynne Gordon promises to shock again

dazzling socialite, wowed Melbourne, blonde bombshell, serious competition, show stopper

I mean, really.

Not that common sense is entirely absent from the event. Hats off - exquisitely embellished hats, of course - to Felicity Harley and Erin Maxwell:

"You can either buy into the Brownlow and get someone to dress you and say yes to doing lots of media things, or you can go there and just wear the easiest dress you can find," Ms Harley said."

"You're not forced into the spotlight," Ms Maxwell said. "You don't have to get a free dress and you don't have to put pressure on yourself to promote a designer."

But what do I know?

While I thought Lauren Phillips looked fantastic - especially when she hopped into Lez Ellis on the blue carpet - my best went to almost everyone else's worst, Lucy Cornes. Her refusal to go uber-formal echoes the sentiments of Felicity Harley and Erin Maxwell. Will it set a trend for next year's Gownlow?

OPEN NECKED DRAWLER

The press boys could tone it down, too.

Hello, laydeeeez:

AWKWORD

Nothing ventured, nothing ungained when you use words that mean what they don't mean:

"Shane Neaves was ungangly."

~~ Stoney, SEN, VFL grand final.

Picture a cross between a giraffe and a giraffe.

HOW'S IT HANGING?

In the balance:

Fevola 'exposed himself to woman at AFL family day'

Controversial Brisbane Lions full forward Brendan Fevola is facing the sack after his club received a complaint from a member of the public about "improper conduct" at an AFL family day on the weekend.

The Age believes Fevola exposed himself to a woman at the family day.