AGB Footy

DRY DOCKERS

Sometimes you've got to turn a blind ear:

"Fremantle dry the screws."

~~ Brian Taylor, 3rd quarter, Freo vs Richmond

COPYCATS ALREADY OUT OF THE BAG

Dan Silkstone in the Sunday Age, 25th April 2010:

Dees lapping up sweet taste of victory

Not so long ago some wondered if Dean Bailey had a gameplan. Any blueprint, imperfectly implemented, will look haphazard. But when the targets are hit, the ball skilfully shared and the opposition virtually surrendering, the plan becomes obvious and obviously effective. There was more than a little Geelong about the way they ran in packs, drew the tackle and dished the handball. It was a game won in transition and the transition was lightning quick. The goals and honours were well shared out. Davey, Sylvia, Petterd and Trengove all bagged two. All were excellent.

Rohan Connolly in the Monday Age, 26th April 2010:

Copy cats

Much of the football world will blanch at any comparison of the Demons with the peerless Geelong, but you simply cannot escape the similarities in both how Melbourne plays and the assortment of personnel it is assembling to do so.

[Melbourne] is clearly, and rightly, using the Cats as prototype for its own model.

The mere suggestion of that seemed laughable after the Hawthorn debacle. But some gritting of teeth from the senior heads in the Demon line-up and the spark of youngsters like Scully, Trengove and Grimes is giving Melbourne an infectious energy. And so rapidly is the momentum gathering that who is to doubt just how far it could lead?

Tony T. in the AGB, 31 March 2008:

Rot Socks

[Melbourne's] game plan looks roughly similar to Geelong 2007: have most (give or take full back and full forward) of your players move up and down the ground bunched within a kick of where the ball is at any one time. This means you always have loads of players around the ball who can a) put maximum pressure on the other side when they have the ball; and b) "run and carry" the agate down the ground en masse when you get your hands on the ball. It's what Geelong do perfectly. Melbourne's not insignificant problem is that we don't have Geelong's players. No Ablett, Bartell, Ling, Corey, Enright, Kelly; all hard running, strong over the ball, experienced, talented players. Melbourne, on the other hand, are a light, young side not yet used to said plan or physically capable of such a contact-intense style of footy.

Incidentally, just as Geelong struggle to beat Hawthorn's cluster, which clogs up the central running lanes, Melbourne will also struggle to deal with Hawthorn. It's no coincidence that it was the Hawks who spanked Melbourne in round one.

BOWLED WARNEY

CROCK BOTTOM

How bad are Richmond? Bad enough that if St Kilda lose all their points for rorting the salary cap, the Tigers are still favourite for the spoon:

Betting plunge on St Kilda Saints for spoon

ST KILDA has firmed dramatically from $1000-1 to $3.50 second favourite on Betfair to win the AFL wooden spoon this year.

There were only small bets matched this morning but the betting exchange’s odds suggest an implication the unbeaten Saints could also be embroiled in the Melbourne Storm salary cap rort.

Storm’s former CEO Brian Waldron was St Kilda CEO before he changed codes.

St Kilda's price for winning the wooden spoon fell from $1000 to $3.50.

Richmond remains the $1.35 favourite to win the wooden spoon.

When asked for comment, Saints CEO Michael Nettlefold replied "Ken Wood ticked it off."

A friend emails that should St Kilda be found guilty of cheating the cap, they will have to return all their wooden spoons.

INDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO PREPOSITIONS

I was tempted to call this post PREPOSITION JOE in honour of the character in The Wire, but that wasn't exactly relevant to the haphazard application of prepositions under the AFL:

• In the pump
• Under the pump
• In the gun
• Under the gun

Add to those four malaphorisms:

"The loser will be placed under the furnace."

~~ Luke D'Anello

It can only be a matter of time until some poor coach, footballer or football team is put "in the cosh".

IT'S ALL GREEK TO HIM

When the Herald Sun's Round Mound of Profound, Mark Robinson, sees the name Zeno he thinks of Zeno Tzatzaris, not Zeno of Citium, the founder of stoicism. I know what you are thinking: "Does TT think he can read minds?". I can. But Monday I also heard grain-fed Robbo say stoyk, not stoh-ik.

RANTS ON FIRE

Mick Malthouse: pompous dick head. He lost his cool, crazy eyes, ranting and raving, lied, got caught... own it!

I acted for greater good of the game

Anyone who has any doubt about the importance of the common good should study one of history's greatest figures, Winston Churchill. There were times when his public pronouncements bore little resemblance that was actually taking place, but he did it for the greater good.

We shall fight them in the bleachers:

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

~~ Winston Churchill

TAXSYN

It's a contagious disease the reversing of sentences. Diarrhoea verbal:

• "He'd make a great coach the boy from Kyabram."
• "He's a lump of a lad the unit from Geraldton."
• "He's an excitement machine the ranga."

Is it wrong? No. Well, excluding the excessive pronouns, it would not go astray correct punctuation. But just because football commentators do it, does not mean you are footy savvy because you do it, too.

RIFTH QUARTER

Mark "Kareem Abdul" Jamar plays a blinder for Melbourne against Collingwood. The Fifth Quarter's screen graphic?

RUCKING BRILLIANT!