AGB Footy

DEJA ROY

Fingers crossed Sideshow Roy being sent home from Darwin won't set the same sort of tone as in 2005:

Hussey tries to stop history repeating

Another disciplinary lapse by Andrew Symonds has Australia needing to defend well with the ball to ensure they do not suffer another shock defeat to cricketing minnow Bangladesh.

The world champions decided to send the Queensland allrounder home for failing to attend a team meeting on Friday because he was fishing, and their innings in the first one-dayer lacked spark without him.

And I don't mean just that loss to the Bangers; on any one day, anyone can lose any one-dayer if the mood suits. I mean losing to the Bangers at Sophia Gardens, generally struggling in the NWS series as a whole, then losing the Ashes. Be interesting how this series sets us up for India.

BELITTLE PEOPLE

Rocket science, undeed. Michael Klein, you are not fooling anyone with your tricky photography. Any imbecile can see the little Irish bloke is standing on the shoulders of an invisible leprechaun.

Rocket scientist lines up in Finnish Aussie Rules side

WHEN Juha Nieminen isn't doing whatever it is that rocket scientists do at home in Finland, he's honing his skills in Australian rules football.

SALARY CRAP

Don't want to say I told you so:

Chris Judd is on $1,000,000 a year from Visi for six hours "work" a week to "consult on environmental matters".

So, get stuffed:

Chris Judd leads as Blues go green with Visy Park

EXCLUSIVE: PRINCES Park will be transformed into an environmental haven called Visy Park under Carlton's bold plans.

The Blues will today announce details of the $18 million development.

As part of the green push, Blues captain Chris Judd will become Visy's community environmental ambassador.

Judd will spearhead the packaging company's sustainability campaign.

The use of Judd as a Visy green ambassador was a key factor in the club luring him from West Coast last year.

Visy's complex relationship involving Judd as a highly-paid ambassador and its sponsorship of Carlton has only recently been ticked off by the AFL and investigations manager Ken Wood.

That has allowed Visy to today unveil Judd as its environmental ambassador.

KANGAROOZE

"The pressure the Kangaroos exude on the opposition."

~~ David Schwarz, 5 minutes to go, North v. Carlton

HUNGRY BACKS

"They've done enough, Melbourne, to starve off that foray forward by the West Coast Eagles."

~~ Michael Christian, on the 1/4 time siren, Melbourne vs West Coast

That was not the only thing wrong with the coverage of the Demons/Eagles game:

Melbourne's 34-point victory over a disappointing West Coast summed up the old adage that football can be a difficult game to follow.

For a start, how can a club coming off a 116-point loss last week start $1.65 favourites and comprehensively defeat their opponents like they were good things?

To be fair to the Sunday Herald Sun's Glenn McFarlane, he wasn't the only pundit touting that line. Most every expert was scratching his or her head that Melbourne had somehow become the bookies' favourite for Saturday's game.

Why?

Were they merely pressed to pump out generic, think-free copy? Or maybe they were playing to the tank. (Riiight. Like West Coast are all about tanking for Pick 18.)

Melbourne's form-line, Geelong last week excluded, has been reasonably good. Sure, they haven't won a game since Brisbane in Round 14, but they were "in" almost every game, probably should have won a couple, and were only belted by the Cats, while they slumped in the second half against Freo in Perth. West Coast, on the other hand, have been OK in Perth, beating St Kilda and Essendon, but have been absolutely shocking otherwise.

So, how can a club coming off a 116-point loss last week start $1.65 favourites? Simple. 16th was not playing 1st, 16th was playing 15th at 16th's home-ground.

Another thing:

Both teams were guilty of failing to simply kick the ball long and direct.

That was Martin Boulton in the Sunday Age. Is he 88 years old? That's the rubbish talk of the fossilized fatheads in the MCC who, harking back to the G.O.Days when the best players smoked Craven A at half time, relentlessly scream "Kick it!" as players string together handballs. Word of advice: footy has moved on, ya plonkers. Geelong have been setting world-record pace for hand balls over the last two years and guess what? They won the flag. Today, Carlton routinely kicked the ball long and direct to Fevola and guess what? North Melbourne just as routinely picked them off and then pulled their pants down going the other way.

More.

The free kick count: West Coast 26, Melbourne 8. Someone, somewhere mention it, will ya. Yes, I know it's less about "how many" and more about "where and when", but 3.25 times the number of frees is, in the word of noted American lisper Wallace Shawn, "incontheeeevable", especially for a visiting team.

The steak knives.

The votes in the Sunday Age:

C. Morton (Melb)...... 8
P. Wheatley (Melb).... 7
C. Bruce (Melb)........ 7
B. Green (Melb)........ 7
S. Armstrong (Melb).. 7

OK, I'm struggling a bit there, but Armstrong does play for West Coast.

OOPS NORTH

Does the subby of this article know something we don't know? Has he inadvertently revealed a sinister message? Or, since the article is about Melbourne, is it just a dumb tyop?

THE DRINKING CLUB WITH A FOOTBALL PROBLEM

SCALY MATES

HE DIDS IT

BIG 'EAD

Surely, Eddie was being tongue in cheek. Otherwise he really ought to be embarrassed:

Alan Didak and Heath Shaw kiss their AFL seasons goodbye

Mr McGuire, in particular, was embarrassed and furious about being lied to by Didak and Heath Shaw.

On Monday Mr McGuire lectured Collingwood players about their responsibilities and highlighted how much sacrifice club officials, including himself, had made.

It is believed Mr McGuire indicated being president had cost him "four or five" Gold logies. He refused further comment last night.

KEW BLOODY IDIOTS

RAMMY STREET

YOUTÜBER ALLES