AGB Footy

TAKE YOUR JOB AND SHOVE IT

I've had it up to here - and don't be giving it any "Here? Where?" guff - with commentators who say "he got the job done". Saturday night at the Carlton Norf game Mark Readings (I think) greeted most every goal he called with "he got the job done". Nor do I apologise if it wasn't Readings, either, he precisely the sort of bloke who would say "he got the job done". SEN's overnight bloke, Brett Phillips, said it at least 123 times, at a rough estimate. He even said it during the caller quiz. Each correct answer was met with an enthusiastic "Whoa! He's got the job done." My generous side wants to think he was taking the piss, but he wasn't. Clunt Grabarse says it, too. And that Casey bloke who does the basketball on Foxtel. And others et al. I'm sure the pack of them think it sounds slick and sharp, but it doesn't, it makes them sound like glib dicks. Cooloid nobs. Hipster deadshits.

Naturally, it's an American affectation, which means it sounds fine when Yanks say it but sounds completely stupid when Strayans say it. Like when Yanks say "Goodeye moit."

Enough, already.

GNO OPTION

7 UP

Here's something I thought I'd never write: while Seven's footy broadcasts are far from perfect, I'm enjoying them nevertheless. They certainly dispel the early criticism, mainly from Nine, which was just so much bullshit and spite. Surely, Seven needed a chance to get their ship shape.

The commentary team of McAveney, Cometti, Schwarz & Watson has been fine. They probably aren't as slick as Nine's team, especially in the production department, but getting shot of Dermot and his tortured explanations is an immediate plus. Dennis was Dennis at Nine, and is still is Dennis at Seven. That is to say, polished, accurate, funny, the best footy caller in the bidness. Bruce has throttled the gush, at least most of the time, and has managed to suppress those urges to chuck in mindless stats when he has nothing better to say. Schwarz, who struggles to contain his inner fathead, has used that fatheadedness to advantage, bouncing off the two callers. Maybe he's the fall guy; if so, it's working. Pity his special commenting never tells you anything you don't already know. Still, he's not on his lonesome there. Watson is the least convincing, he needed a smack in the teeth for the way he barracked for the Bullies on Sunday, but he's competent, if irritating. The main complaint would be that they get rid of their bizarre rotation policy, leave that for CrickAussie. Put the four commentators in the box at once. Apparently, Bruce is the one demanding a three person team. No idea why everyone felt/feels the need to shitcan Ricky Olarenshaw, either. I mean, boundary riding is pants at best, Ricky is no better or worse than any other person that's ever done it. Even Doc Larkins, whose impact and worth have been continuously overstated. The ruckus over 'live' broadcasting is a load, too. The usual suspects and professional outragists jumped up and down when Seven showed Earl instead of StKilda/Brisbane live, but Nine were just as keen to delay their telecasts until 8:30 to maintain regular programming.

Few thought Seven would go back to the dismal dark ages of their nineties broadcasts, nor did many think they would throw the bells, whistles and kitchen sink a la Nine in the noughties. But in walking a path somewhere in between they've delivered, for me at any rate, a chummy, user friendly package. Although they could ditch those vertigo aerials.

SHOPARAZZI

Minor rumpus over Bender Cousins being photoshopped. I posted the original photo back in March, but a slightly modified version was subsequently printed in the Australian. Slightly. See if you can spot the difference here.