WITHWITS!

This whole Headland/Selwood rumpus has been a fiasco from the get go. What a pack of animals. Headland, Selwood, the media, the tribunal, the Wanchors, the Illeagles and anyone else you care to toss into the shitty mix.

For me, it's this from Selwood that takes the baked confection:

Selwood said he had no idea the person on the tattoo was Headland's daughter. "All I knew is that it was a female." He said that after being punched in the stomach by Headland, he responded by saying: "What's that shit on your arm? I was with a girl like that the other night."

No trouble with the first part. Who knew Headland was the sort of dickhead who'd get a tat of his daughter. A flippin' awful tat, at that. But does Selwood take the rest of us for idiots? Are we seriously supposed to believe him when he states, quite categorically, that he politely remarked "I was with a girl like that the other night."? Young footballer. In a match. All set for a punch up. "I was with a girl like that." Get the with out of here.

Doubtless the tribunal didn't believe him, either. It can be the only explanation for them letting Headland off.

Comments

[Bruce]

In an amazing example of Orwellian doublethink, the tribunal has found that Adam Selwood did not say anything to provoke Des Headland, but that Headland was so extraordinarily provoked that it justified his striking of Selwood.

Both a joke and a farce.

[RT]

If I've read it correctly Selwood is now looking to sue the media outlets who printed the slut references. He cannot be serious. Pull your head in you West Coast bonehead, put you mouth in a hyperbaric chamber and win another boring premiership. Dale Kickett had the right idea, forget the talk and go in swinging and bring back Clive Waterhouse while we're there.

[Tony.T]

Bruce: In. A. Nutshell. Imagine how Headland will go off when he DOES get provoked. We'd better lock him up right now, for public safety sake.

RT: Correct. Selwood ought to quit while he's ahind. What a tosser.

[Scott Wickstein]

Is there some competition going on between the NRL Bulldogs and the illegals to see which can be the most obnoxious sporting outfit in Australia that we don't know about?

Clearly the tribunal couldn't put Selwood away without provoking a court challenge, so letting off Headland was the only thing that they could do to punish him.

I think it's time the rest of Australia revived the West Australian Separatist movement. No amount of mining booms is worth all this, surely?

[Mr Z]

Hearing the Eagles CEO on the wahless this morning, I can well imagine Selwood being told to calmly think about options and then get stop fucking around and get back to training.

Not sure if the whole episode will open up the floodgates of 'provocation' as an excuse. One Fraser Gehrig successfully got off a striking charge (against an umpire!) due to provocation by some Footscray mongrels. That was a while ago and we haven't really seen it since, but you never know.

I can't imagine how Headland thinks this will help his career. Does he really think no one is going to mention his tattoo now?

[Mr Z]

C'mon Scott. Without the Weagles, you'd have to go back to hating Brisbane and Sydney.

[girtbysea]

I bet there's a market for "Des' Daughter" temporary tattoos. Would it not be funny for all the opposition to wear them on their foreheads in the next match?

Sandy Roberts could use a tat on his forehaed while we are at it... A big capital "L".

And how can there be money for Judd but none for the new BB housemates?

[Bruce]

New line at the tribunal:
"I thought he was provoking me."

[Tony.T]

Oops - missed this bit:

"This is the first opportunity I've had to outline my side of events. I want to reiterate that I've never said the words that have been attributed to me and that I never meant to offend Des or his family."

"Never meant to offend Des". And Ali never meant to offend Frazier.

He said 'reinterate', too. But I'm absolutely positive it was just a slip of the tongue. I mean, I don't mean to offend him.

[chrisl]

It's bogan vs bogan
Bogan wins!

[Tony.T]

One wins, one loses. It's win win all round.

[chrisl]

I blame the teachers..... art teachers that is...for the tattoo

[13th Man]

Has anyone else considered an underlying point? Selwood maintained that he was 'with' a girl 'like that' - the tatt was of what is, quite clearly, a young child. Irrespective of whether or not the girl was, in fact, identified as Hedland's kid, does it matter? I'd probably lose it if someone made such a pedo remark to me too. Not even considering: who else but a family member/loved one would some bogan cretin have inked on his arm?
Of course, I'm substituting 'with' for 'fucked', but I dunno - maybe Selwood was just tutoring the kid in etiquette....

[Armagnac Esq]

Tat of his daughter's a bit OTT, but I can understand it.

Selwood should sue, once the case is finished his name will be trash.

[13th Man]

He might struggle if he bases his case solely on reported facts. To be honest, I haven't exactly absorbed the whole thing, but if the press has carefully used 'alleged', he'll struggle.

[Carrot]

Well fuck me. Lara has retired. Who'd've thunk it? Probably a good thing for West Indian cricket as far as direction and leadership are concerned in the long term, but a terrible thing as far as runs and experience are concerned in the short term. A sad ending - I'd have to say that WI cricket have managed him very poorly, and for better or worse decided and re-decided that he was going to be solely responsible for the rennaissance of WI cricket from the ashes since... well, several times over from the mid-late-nineties. Unfortunately that let to one of crickets greatest ever talents being forever compromised by the fact that he was a flawed leader that oversaw WI cricket go from bad to worse whilst he was a senior player and captain. A genuine tragedy.

There are other examples of this sort of thing - Vaughn took over the England captaincy from Hussain in 2003 as the then number 1 test batsman, and now look at him. My first thought was - jeez, why don't they just let him bat?

I'm not known for being a tub-thumping, jinogistic, you-beaut, true-blue Aussie, but the more I see of international sport and particularly cricket, the more I see Australia being the most thoughtful, well-organised, and above all best administrated sporting nation in the world. Certainly as far as cricket is concerned we just don't make as many stupid mistakes as our rivals do, and we consistently punch above our weight in everything else that is genuinely an international sport. Why is that? Should we put it down to culture? The media? Funding? Competitiveness? Genetic background? Discuss!

[Francis Xavier Holden]

What sort of idiot gets a HUGE ugly tatt of a generic looking woman on their upper arm and says it's their daughter?

And how many men in the whole world have a huge ugly tatt of their daughter on their arm? Or am I missing some trend.

[os]

Des is a goose and has running empty ever since he left Brissie, a total non-performer in the crunch games. Now he's signalled to each and every team in the comp that there's a sure-fire way to knock him off his trolley, he's bluffed the tribunal into not suspending him even though they found him guilty of striking, and he will successfully dare his own club not to drop him to the WAFL as he deserves. I predict a bright future as a Mufti - same MO, don't make me angry or I'll hurt you bad. And as always, the gutless will give way.

As for the Eags, bring it all on losers, slag away as much as you like, we soak it all up because we know that the more you cry, the more we love it.
And if you hate the Eags, well the facts won't matter to you, but I think it is true that Selwood is a quality kid, at 22 has represented his country, has never been reported at junior or senior level. Des has form at the tribunal, lots of it. I know who I'd be inclined to believe and I sure as hell know who I'd rather have in my team.
Wicky, we'd love to secede - then we wouldn't have to keep paying the bills for all you lot, but hey, every time we try you won't let us go:-)

[Tony.T]

Pah! Eagle swine.

Yes, Selwood has no form to speak of, and he's obviously more credible than soft cock, front running, hot headed, light weight Headland. But what Selwood said still reeks of bullshit.

Read this: A criticism of Wet Toast.

From a Wanchor fan.

I ADMIT I'm not an unbiased observer. I not only support the Dockers, but also sat on the Fremantle Football Club board of directors for three years.

I even coined the term "West Coast Evil" in a suburban newspaper and on a website long before Robert Walls thought of it. I don't like the Eagles for generally silly, footy-related reasons, the way thousands hate Collingwood.

He might have coined West Coast Evil, but I coined Illeagles. Thus, I'm a better human being. (With more teeth.)

[Scott Wickstein]

Wow. Standards at the Eagles must be low.

[Tony.T]

At least Braun tried to raise them.

[Scott Wickstein]

Hungry Jacks New West Coast Meal ....No Burger , No Fries but as much Coke and Ice as you want!

[os]

Hmmm, I'm not quite sure what the point of the article was ... the guy left the ground feeling worse than he usually feels after watching his team lose the plot, and in the absence of any other enlightenment, deduces it must be because the Eags are an especially bad lot. Then he consoles himself by concluding that if it's a choice between winning and being noble, he'd rather not win.
Well, that would be fine (a) if the Dockers were sure all their fans had signed up to that deal and (b) if the Dockers really were a noble club. But I don't think they are particularly noble, I think they are vain and overrate themselves, I think they're squealers (sirengate) and I don't think they tough. Like East Freo of old, they're dirty, ankle-tappers. Check the headbandages the Eags were wearing (including Selwood - best way to spot him in that melee under Headland was to look for the bandage)and ask yourself whether that came from a mouthful of sledge or from a head-high hit.
Sledging is designed to target the weak and if I were Des Headland, I'd be ashamed to realise that my opponents regarded me so poorly as to use the simplest tactic in the book to take me out of the game.
Yes Teach, I know you coined the Illeagles thing ... very droll. For sure, some of them are ill. But so would be some in all of the clubs, and all across society. I have a daughter who has battled with bulimia and depression for several years and she's struggling to beat it. I feel sorry for Cousins, because he's also got a battle on his hands, and he might not win. He's ill for sure, but he's not bad.

[Tony.T]

Headland probably knows everyone thinks he's soft. Maybe it's why he cut up so rough.

Illeagles works wordwise. Illdemons doesn't, even though they are.

[chrisl]

Challenge!
Did you really invent the term Illeagles. Can you prove it.(Not in a Global Warming way,but real proof)
I heard Grubby use it on the radio.
For those not in the centre of the football universe he is a very unfunny,scripted,radio announcer and barracks for the swans!

[Tony.T]

He probably got it from this blog. It was quite rude of him not to attribute me. Quite.

[os]

Agree Illdemons doesn't work, what about "Undemonstrative", or "Pandemoniums".
Also, I presume you are saying the Mighty Eags are sick, so shouldn't it be Ill-eagles? Illegals implies they're not entitled to be in the AFL, and I KNOW you don't think that.

[Scott Wickstein]

illegals implies that they have the right to remain silent. I wish they'd use it.

[Toe Cutter]

Being near deaf, I can lip read. The blond girl did say, 'Yeah, she's a sl-t'.
Having said that, I don't see the fascination some have with this so called 'mans' game. People overseas recognise it as the girls game that it is.

[carneagles]

RT, I don't think the media using "slut" was as big a legal problem as both Headland and his old man calling Selwood a paedophile.

I feel categorically dumber for having witnessed this last week in AFL football.