AGB Footy

THINNING EDGE OF THE SLEDGE

Where to now for sledging? Race is out. Sexuality is out. Family is out. "Times have changed," we are told. "Society has moved on." A good thing, too.

So anyway, two batsmen botch an easy run:

Batsman to batsman: "Don't worry, no run there, anyway."

Fieldsman: "Sure, mate, maybe at the Paralympics."

WITHWITS!

This whole Headland/Selwood rumpus has been a fiasco from the get go. What a pack of animals. Headland, Selwood, the media, the tribunal, the Wanchors, the Illeagles and anyone else you care to toss into the shitty mix.

For me, it's this from Selwood that takes the baked confection:

Selwood said he had no idea the person on the tattoo was Headland's daughter. "All I knew is that it was a female." He said that after being punched in the stomach by Headland, he responded by saying: "What's that shit on your arm? I was with a girl like that the other night."

No trouble with the first part. Who knew Headland was the sort of dickhead who'd get a tat of his daughter. A flippin' awful tat, at that. But does Selwood take the rest of us for idiots? Are we seriously supposed to believe him when he states, quite categorically, that he politely remarked "I was with a girl like that the other night."? Young footballer. In a match. All set for a punch up. "I was with a girl like that." Get the with out of here.

Doubtless the tribunal didn't believe him, either. It can be the only explanation for them letting Headland off.

WHERE THE MILD THINGS ARE

NEW KID ON THE AIR

Radio SEN are doing football commentary this season and although dubiously badging themselves as "the home of football" they've introduced some real talent into the market.

Grant Thomas is excellent in his special comments role. As a coach he was prone to slip into management speak, probably because he was constrained by a coach's reluctance to give anything away, but as a commentator he is a million miles away from your average cliché riddled footy trog.

Didn't hear much of Nathan Buckley, but from the little bit I did hear, he sounds the business.

Didn't hear any of Liam Pickering, and if last year commentating the VFL is anything to go by, he needs to sharpen up his act. But he has been excellent on weekdays filling in for Frankie Leach and on Saturday mornings over summer with Mark Allen. With luck he can transfer his willingness to speak his mind to his game-day duties during the season.

Dermott Brereton is SEN's high profile recruit, but with his pretentious hipster delivery, manglerizationing of the English language and tortured over-analysis, he better watch his back.

And then there's Andrew Jarman. Surely football commentary is more than a ridiculous laugh.

(A particular criticism of SEN is their relentless plugging the product. Not just sponsors, that's a given on commercial radio, but themselves. All through the day they keep telling us they are covering football in various degrees from exceptional to sensational. Stop it. We are already listening. Don't get me started on the myriad Sports Updates, either.)

Speaking bigger picture: SEN are currently rating next to rock all, so they'll be shattered if their full frontal assault on football doesn't pull some numbers.

Over on Radio Feral 3AW, tucked away from the histrionics and tryhard humour of Rex Hunt, Clunt Grabarse, etc (granted, they have a pretty good pre-game), Graham "Smokey" Dawson did the Sydney vs. Illeagles game. He was terrific in the Eighties and it's been a puzzle that he hasn't had a higher profile since. If it was up to me it would be Smokey, not Drew Morphett, doing the ABC commentary. He's clearly in the top rank of callers and it was great to hear him again from Syddey on SatDee night. Someone give him a bigger gig.