Ben Cousins has been suspended indefinitely for missing a training session. No word yet on whether he missed it because he was face down in a puddle of his own piss.
First person to spot the phrase "litany of off-field _________ " wins a boat ride with Freddie Flintoff, a parcel of undisclosed shares in a drug company and a complementary panama hat.
To fill in the blank:
Misdemeanors
Indiscretions
Woes
Troubles
Et Ceteras
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/20/2007 at 04:09 PM
Bonus competition: Name the date when the Eagles announce "Ben's worked through his problems and it's great to have him back."
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/20/2007 at 04:19 PM
1 - incidents.
2 - Next Thursday when the teams for Rd.1 are announced.
Posted by: Bruce | 03/20/2007 at 04:29 PM
Cynical.
But fair.
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/20/2007 at 04:52 PM
I'd never heard of Ben or his cousins until today. But I see he is a Captain of something.
I seem to rememeber a time when people who were captains (of industry, boats, etc) were kind of leaders or something.
Can you fill me in on what a captain does in sport these days?
Thanks.
Posted by: Francis Xavier Holden | 03/20/2007 at 05:38 PM
May I answer that with a multiple choice question? Thank you.
What does a captain in sport do these days?
a) Drinks the most booze.
b) Pulls the most women.
c) Tosses the coin.
d) Gets to say "We are taking it one drug test at a time."
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/20/2007 at 05:43 PM
May I suggest a swap?
Ben Cousins to captain the Pakistan cricket team. This will solve any alcohol or other substance related problems he may have.
Andrew Flintoff to join the Weagles. He will fit right in, perhaps in the ruck - like for like with Michael Gardiner. His wife will also be appreciated by the team and supporters.
Inzamam - off to the Poms, to bolster their weak middle order and address their drinking culture. England will then have two senior players who, on their day, many moons ago, were great batsmen, but who can now only run to the toilet.
Posted by: nick | 03/20/2007 at 07:41 PM
Good idea, Nick. Let's formalize the thing with a Team-Idiot Draft. Every team has at least one, so the draft would run deep.
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/20/2007 at 07:55 PM
I went to school with Ben Cousins. He was a dick. I went to school with a lot of dicks mind you, and he wasn't the worst.
Funnily enough, I don't remember him being THAT good at AFL. He was good I think - but not head-and-shoulders-better-than-anyone-else good, if you know what I mean.
Posted by: Carrot | 03/20/2007 at 09:06 PM
Now Carrot, your initials wouldn't be TLS would they? I worked with someone in WA who went to school with Ben Cousins, and they said exactly the same as you...
Posted by: nick | 03/20/2007 at 11:42 PM
Tony, Australia's current line up. Who's the Team-Idiot? Just an intellectual exercise, you understand...
Posted by: nick | 03/20/2007 at 11:47 PM
Nick - it's clearly Roy, and, like the Eagles, he's also one of the side's best players.
Posted by: Gareth | 03/21/2007 at 02:37 AM
Looking at some of the Team Idiots around, if Warnie could coach them, they could win the World Cup.
Posted by: Nick | 03/21/2007 at 10:14 AM
Spotted on the front page of the Herald Sun:
the ban comes after a litany of indiscretions that include running from a booze bus, socialising with underworld figures, fighting a teammate in public and being arrested after a drinking session.
Bit naughty of them to leave out the 'off-field' part, but I'm sure it exists in at least one of the 789 articles that are in today's papers.
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/21/2007 at 10:18 AM
I don't think Roy is the Team Idiot, he's the Team Loveable Goose.
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/21/2007 at 10:20 AM
From The Australian:
Despite his litany of off-field troubles, Cousins remains West Coast's most-decorated player and an enormously popular figure in Perth.
Posted by: David Barry | 03/21/2007 at 02:00 PM
look i wasn't joking when i said i hadn't heard of this cousins fucker until the other day.
now today on the radio i hear some idiot chiding him for being a role model. role model?
rolefuckinmodel?
whats going on here. if i've never heard of him how is he a role model.
whats a role model anyway.
never had them in my day. didn't need them either.
if i had had one it would have been keith richards.
role model my arse.
Posted by: Francis Xavier Holden | 03/21/2007 at 08:50 PM
Just thinking out loud here...
But is it now in the Weagles' best interest for Cousins to fail a drug test. This allows them to drop/suspend/sack him without giving him up to another club.
There is no way they can outright sack him. There would be 15 clubs with their cheque books open waiting for him at the gate. Or perhaps they trade him now while his value is astronomical rather than wait for it all to catch up with him...
cf. Laurence Angwin. If he could have put in the performance on the park that Cousins does every week - would Carlton still have him on the list?
Pandora's box of worms sans lid.
Posted by: Bruce | 03/21/2007 at 09:49 PM
I hate football. Why are we talking about football? Shut up.
Posted by: carneagles | 03/21/2007 at 11:22 PM
Nick, my initial are not TLS, although it occurs to me that I've been out of the country too long and TLS is some sort of acronym for something that I've long since forgotten. But still, Wesley College, what a great place, famous for boarders being hit and killed by cars on punishment runs, and peadophilic headmasters.
Being a grown-up is..... just plain better than being a kid.
Posted by: Carrot | 03/22/2007 at 11:58 AM
Must be a Wesley College thing. The one in Melbourne is famed for its tennis coaches having affairs with students.
I blame Methodists.
Posted by: Tony.T | 03/23/2007 at 03:57 PM