BEGONNAH!

Brendan Fevola has been sent home for drinking and fighting in Ireland. Now there's a shock. It was only a matter of time before the big dick found himself in the shit again. The Virus has a rap sheet as long as, well, mine.

Mind you, the punishment may be a little harsh. Boozing and brawling are national past-times over there, aren't they, like wolf-whistling at women in Italian streets.

The worst thing to come out of this will be the amount of overstated indignation from his critics, nauseating spin from his defenders and the stage-managed apology. The media will have a field day. Southern Cross Network News, a loathesome bunch of swine always keen to pump up a story, were immediately on the case. In a 3AW interview Paul the Irish Headlockee said "He grabbed me into a headlock and pulled me out of reception," Paul told Southern Cross radio. "He had a bottle in his hand so I was just worried about the bottle."

SCNN must have decided that wasn't juicy enough. In the 3AW hourly bulletin not twenty minutes later they dramatically announced "In an interview earlier today Paul said 'Fevola came at me with a bottle' " then for good measure said he said "Fevola attacked me brandishing a bottle."