My friend Sutty has a theory:
Your first girlfriend is great. You get on brilliantly, love doing things together, spend ages on the phone talking happy rubbish, smooch in public, hold hands and have a very nice time indeed. But! You just know that one day she's going to dump you for your best friend.
That is what it's like to barrack for Melbourne.
Dumpage like that never happened to me - I mean, get a grip, man! But I take his point.
No Demon fan in his or her right mind would be optimistic about Melbourne's chances this year. Something is bound to go wrong. And then there's my suspicion some of the Melbourne players are soft. If you think that's a loser attitude, well jam it, you ought to try following the Dees for a spell. As that noted football expert, Dr Zachary Smith was wont to comment "Ooh, the pain."
This season the pain is being caused by Wet Toast. Despite Melbourne stringing together a series of wins, the best chance for the 'Mons to win the flag is for them to finish in the top two. That way they receive a home ground advantage in the finals. Yes, yes, it's been done from outside the top two before, but it's no cinch. The Cows have a lock on first place, so that leaves the second place Toast. Yet, while the West Coast Coolers (peach flavour) are playing well below their best, they keep falling over the bastard line. The Cats squibbed it, the Hawks are crap, the Blues crapper and the Pinks were dudded by the umps. WC lose a couple of those games and Melbourne are in a tidy position, but as it stands, the Eagles look able to hang on to second. In fact, they've got out of jail so many times, I'm on the verge of tagging them Premiership Favourites. Be mindful of the mozz, Eagles.
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