That'll do for this year. MFC in 2006 can get well and truly fucked. I'd say they ought to tank for draft picks, but I'm fast arriving at that moment of truth where I care fuck all about next year, either. I mean - really! What's the point? Anyone got any bright ideas about what an imbecile like me might do instead of watch football? Topiary? Painting? Petty crime?
And you want to know something, just between you and me? Homer Simpson was right. Sport really IS stupid without beer.
Oh well. At least Damien: Omen II is on the television. That lady in red just had her eyes pecked out by a vicious crow. Then she was flattened by a truck.
That's just got to be less painful than following Melbourne.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/02/2006 at 09:16 PM
But not as painful as following Punter and the selectors current thinking....
1. Play Kasper and Martyn in a dead rubber.
2. Hit big against the oppositions only fast bowler - so you can get bowled out quickly enough for your concussed opener not to be able to play a part.
3. Kasper injured - who to sub - fleet footed Clarke or cack handed MacGill - Stuey, we didn't pick you, but come on down....
4. Overs before lunch, Gibbs and blocker Kallis - maybe some Warne, or maybe Punter and Simmo?
5. Pick the Australian first choice team to play Bangladesh....(a farewell tour for some players???)
ps predicted Dees finishes now looking as bad as Spanky's prediction (pre-3rd Test) that 'Australia has found its opening partnership for the Ashes' (Hayden and Langer) (post 2nd day 3rd Test) 'Who will save Langer from himself'...
Posted by: nick | 04/02/2006 at 09:28 PM
To be fair, I never really believed the 'Mons would finish up there. Hence the brackets - "You're right, I have no idea." It was just very wishful thinking.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/02/2006 at 09:38 PM
I hear crocheting is all the rage right now.
(also... I've been meaning to say this for a while: virutally? am I missing something?)
Posted by: anne | 04/02/2006 at 09:39 PM
Crochet - check. But anyone who suggests macrame is dead.
Virutally? Whassat?
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/02/2006 at 09:45 PM
That's quite unintelligible.
Posted by: Gareth | 04/02/2006 at 09:55 PM
What is? Melbourne kicking into a flooded Carlton backline? I agree.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/02/2006 at 09:59 PM
Your "tagline".
Posted by: anne | 04/02/2006 at 10:05 PM
Oh right, whaddaya know! And here I was thinking the only mistake was unintelligable, which I changed yonks ago.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/02/2006 at 10:08 PM
Upon reflection, I think I like it.
And you know what they say: Virutal is a vitrue.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/02/2006 at 10:16 PM
Agreed that sport needs beer. There should be a handicapping system whereby the better teams need to sink more schooners before and during the game, not just after the game. Boonie and Doug Walters could be the beer umpires, both checking that players swig their specified allotment and leading by example.
Posted by: Clem Snide | 04/02/2006 at 11:41 PM
In beer meritas?
Posted by: nick | 04/02/2006 at 11:46 PM
Hare coursing and badger baiting are always a laugh.
Posted by: Steve | 04/03/2006 at 12:19 AM
Homer was only half right, T. Sport is stupid with or without beer.
Posted by: hungbunny | 04/03/2006 at 04:10 AM
Wayne Carey was as smug as a well paid pundit can be because he tipped an upset before the bounce.
What's with Monday Night Football anyway? Here it is, Monday morning, and my team hasn't played yet. Unnatural, thats what it is.
If you want something else to do besides watching football, you could always be an electrician or teach or blog or something...
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 04/03/2006 at 08:27 AM
oragami
Posted by: girtbysea | 04/03/2006 at 08:28 AM
Clem: Even when Melbourne would finish on the bottom, a day at the footy was a day to be savoured. Now? Well, I had to go by myself yesterday because all my mates have stopped going. Rocking up to watch a game of football by yourself without either mates or booze is a new low.
Nick: In my case - In tea terrible.
Steve: No foxes?
HB: Almost true. I'm down to cricket now. One more year and I'll be seeing you at Black Dice gigs.
Wicky: Been there, done that. Doing that. Doing that.
Girt: And Bonsai?
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/03/2006 at 10:43 AM
The ideal combination is to follow cricket and cricket only. And then support India. Most dispiriting.
Posted by: SaggyGreenCricketCircus | 04/03/2006 at 11:18 AM
Tony, a philosophical attitude is required. You mustn't personalise, generalise or think misfortune is permanent.
Dockers supporters do this, but they have to. All other footy supporters can comfort themselves they don't have to watch Chris Connolly's flat-faced, dead-eyed answers every week.
There's always a silver lining somewhere, eg Subi are HOT this year.
Posted by: os | 04/03/2006 at 12:08 PM
Oobie!
Doobie!
Posted by: Tony.T | 04/03/2006 at 12:12 PM
Scott, speaking as someone who had to make their way out to Subi by 5.45pm on a Thursday night, I'm starting to suspect that unnatural is the new natural.
Posted by: carneagles | 04/03/2006 at 12:48 PM
That greaser running the AFL (and minding the till) wil not be happy until every one of the eight games starts at a different time on every day of the week, there is a PRE-pre-season competition and 40 home and away games, there are 20 players on the interchange per team, six field and eight goal umpires who live under the witness protection programme, there is no free to air TV broadcasts of games until they are at least a year old, Foxtel games will cost $100 per view (adjusted for CPI increases), "virtual" crowds and sound effects employed to keep the riff raff away from the ground and save money on employing ground staff (more for the till), the list goes on. . . . .
Did I mention that there seems to be a priority in the AFL about minding the till?
Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant | 04/03/2006 at 07:18 PM
And the only difference between the new Record and Womans Day is that Womans Day is cheaper.
Posted by: carneagles | 04/04/2006 at 09:36 AM
I think I'd still prefer Thursday to Monday. At least you enter the weekend knowing how your team went.
Mind you, stiffing Collingwood is worth the wait.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 04/04/2006 at 04:20 PM