AGB Footy

SONG OF TANKS

"If we lose tomorrow, we'll be singing the song - don't you worry about that."

~~ E. Magpie

That was Eddie in the Subiaco press-box last Friday night during the Fremantle v StKilda match. He was talking up the prospect of Collingwood losing to Adelaide on Saturday, but winning an extra draft pick. What to make of such a flippant remark? Well, apart from the obvious - not quite the done thing to boast about dropping games - it is perhaps why he has given only cursory support to Nine stablemate, Tony Jones, after Jones' massive beat-up of The Umpire Strikes Back.

"It was probably ill advised if anything else, but I hope everybody now just takes a deep breath and if somebody made a remark well say it, and let's not hang them for it, but you know, just remember that it's - it was a pretty public area, members of the public have heard that and that's what you know, where Tony's in his rights to report the report."

It will be interesting to watch Eddie's reaction if his tanking comments are reported in the press. No doubt he will make a distiction between pretty public areas and the Subi press box. But you can't have your cakewalk and eat it, too.

SCRAWL ... YEAHHHHH!

My friend Will is sick of tedious email arguments about football. At least for this week. Before he pulled the pin, though, he jotted down this list of thoughts on the state of the game.

Naturally, I don't agree with everything he writes, he follows Collingwood afterall, but he makes plenty of good sense, so I reckon the list deserves a wider audience. Be interesting to know what you readers think. Well, those of you who barrack for Melbourne, anyway. The rest of you are witless oafs.

Footy Beliefs and Prejudices

1. No priority picks.


2. No draft concessions.


3. No automatic blockbusters/derbies - make everyone play each other equal amount of times over three year period - it only enhances 'blockbusters' when they come around - Anzac Day maybe the only exception. I'm dreaming, I know, but it would be the best thing for the draw.


4. Ban teams 'selling' home games. Hold a raffle or something, Dees, you lazy so and sos.


5. More footy in Darwin, Tassie.


6. Keep fund for temporarily struggling teams, but don't prop up cheats or the incompetent.


7. Day Grand Final at the MCG.


8. Aside from the Friday night debate, TV does a good job with footy. But ALL GAMES OF EVERY CLUB playing interstate MUST be televised live in their entirety on free to air under the new deal. And a better deal for northern states must be part of it as well. At least allow Pay TV to do it live there if the free to air companies won't/can't.


9. Other finals played at venue of team that finished highest on the ladder.


10. Death of standing room and home grounds has been the biggest loss from necessary changes to footy in last thirty years. We should have kept some smaller grounds.


11. No Monday games! Mix is right now. Less Sunday games in Melb.


12. National footy is a success and the game has never been stronger, but it is time to take the training wheels off and let the competition operate without artificial impediments.


13. You can't socially engineer or legislate to make people barrack for a team, these things go back generations. Some clubs are just more popular than others, and it is not just because of 'success'.


14. You can't make TV executives make 'fair' decisions when they are pouring cash into your comp.


15. Eddie is good for football, but he shouldn't call. Don't watch/listen if he's so much of a problem. It is good for football to have a loudmouthed Collingwood president.


16. It's the greatest game in the world, but must be wary of a trendy cultural cringe push for the round ball game. (And I hope soccer thrives here) Just because soccer is international doesn't mean it has a superior game or culture. Footy, especially in Melbourne, is one of Australia's greatest cultural icons.


17. You can have the most money or exposure, but it doesn't matter if you can't recruit properly.


18. AFL, though lacking jingoism of interntaional sports (which, I for one, think is a good thing), has to be close to the best competition around - Premier league and most US sports are a joke, winnable by only a few, are determined by money. By luck and good management, we are handling the onset of professionalism reasonably well.


19. The league is diminshed if any of the current clubs goes under. A 'pure' market driven ten or twelve club comp would be boring - artificial means if necessary should be used to keep current set-up.


20. It is just as tough to compete with nine other teams in one state as to be the only team in an entire non-footy state.


21. Nathan Buckley is a good bloke and a champion footballer. Those who boo him expose themselves as the biggest morons in sport and the dark side of the tall poppy Aussie psyche.


22. Club culture is underrated. No two clubs are alike, though many modern commentators seem to have forgotten this. Even Freo has a unique sensibility.


23. Those who don't go to games regularly don't REALLY love footy.


24. Grass roots footy needs to see more of the dough the game generates.


25. If Collingwood doesn't win the flag, it doesn't matter which team it is as long as its not Essendon, Carlton, Richmond, St Kilda, Melbourne or Hawthorn. I could handle Bulldogs, Cats, Roos, Swans and the other interstate teams.


26. Diversity is the strength of footy and this comp and it is being undermined by modern set-up. But people, the fans, are the forgotten bedrock. It is in good, parochial hands, no matter what a few journos think.

WHOLE OTTA LOVE

Sincerest apologies. I have completely neglected football gossip. So without further ado ...

Word hot off the street from down Gee-Long way is that Cat One got busted having "sexual relations" with Cat Two's girlfriend on the weekend. ALLEGEDLY, Cat Two along with Cats Three, Four and Five sorted things out with Cat One with the result that Cat One ended up in hospital with a broken nose and two black eyes.

No idea whether Cat One actually does have two black eyes; should be easy enough to find out (Calling all Slatts). But what the hell - no names, no hackdrill.