FAT BUCK BAND

This morning Nathan Buckley was on the radio spitting chips about by this article from Chip Le Grand. That's Chip. Chip Le Grand, Straya's version of the giant French fry. Would you like sour cream? Chip?

Pies face thinning of ranks

THE saving grace in Collingwood's absurdly early start to pre-season training yesterday was that Mick Malthouse was not there to see it.

Had the senior coach been patrolling the Bob Rose Oval instead of an undisclosed beach, he would not have liked what he saw. Indeed, he might well have wondered whether some of his players had taken the invitation to digest the past season a smidgen too literally.

Three Mapgies in particular - Cameron Cloke, Leon Davis and Luke Shackleton - had returned from the club's six-week break in less-than-ideal shape to start a summer campaign.

Cloke came to training displaying a streak of purple in his hair and extra kilograms everywhere else. A club official explained that Travis Cloke, the youngest of the Cloke trilogy, was still at school studying for his year 12 exams. Cameron has evidently been engaged in cramming of a different kind.

Davis, elevated into the Collingwood midfield last season, has also gone up a shorts size or two. He and Cloke finished with the backmarkers in yesterday's 2km time trial.

Both were blowing hard as assistant coach Brad Gotch, aged 42 and retired from competitive football for 10 years, beat them to the line.

Then there is Shackleton, a second-year player who made his senior debut last season. A product of Tasmania, Shackleton had returned faintly resembling a round of triple-cream brie.