AGB Footy

BRAD REPUTATION

The AGB -- Jake Niall, actually -- today brings you yesterday's game-breaker ...

A Demon with that Daniher twist

He was born in Tasmania and raised in Brisbane, but Brad Miller's roots are in Daniher country. His father played for the Wagga Tigers, the club Terry Daniher was later to coach, before he was recruited by South Melbourne in the late 1960s.

Neville Miller played at South under the great Norm Smith, Melbourne's six-time premiership coach. He was a rangy ruck-rover and full- forward who booted six one day against Richmond. Miller snr lasted only four years and about 30 games at Lake Oval, moving to North Adelaide and Sandy Bay in Tasmania. A bricklayer, he finally laid his foundations in Queensland.

The son, like most of his peers, didn't play much footy at primary school. One day, he tired of rugby and swapped to the game his father had excelled in. Dad, who had taught him drop punts, didn't object. "I was playing rugby league and he was teaching me how to kick drop punts . . . I started when I was seven and finished playing rugby league when I was 13."

Miller's contribution to the Neale Daniher-led Demons' unexpected rebound this season has been overshadowed somewhat by the startling rise of Jared Rivers as a key-position defender and the impact of rookie Aaron Davey, although Miller's part in the renaissance possibly has been no less significant event that of Rivers.

Having started the season with 20 games, he has held down centre half-forward and helped lighten the load on the broad but battered shoulders of David Neitz, who spent much of 2003 competing against two and three defenders. Melbourne, predictable in its Neitz-obsessed, mono-forward ball movement last year, has acquired the options it needed and Miller is chief among them.

If he isn't already, Miller should be a Daniher favorite - not for shared Riverina heritage, but because if there's a famed past player that Miller resembles most, in terms of style and physical attributes, it's the tireless Terry Daniher.

Like the eldest Daniher brother, Miller is a relentless worker who needs room to function and tends to move up the ground to win kicks, creating space for the forwards - such as Neitz - behind him. At "only" 192 centimetres, he isn't tall for a key forward, or a pack-marking type, so he must stay in motion, as TD did. "I have to, otherwise I'm just going to get beaten every week. I play to my strengths."

He leaves the bullocking to Ben Holland and Neitz, both of whom enjoyed themselves yesterday against an under-sized and less than seasoned Tiger defence. Holland, 198 centimetres and 100-plus kilograms, was stood by former teammate Andrew Kellaway, 190 and 90, while Ty Zantuck - normally a flanker - was the sacrificial Tiger on Neitz. Miller, too, had size on his side in his contest with Joel Bowden.

On occasions, Miller will drift closer to goal for tactical reasons and yesterday was one of those times. The reason was that Daniher was respectful of Bowden's capacity to rebound. The Melbourne coach thus ordered Miller to hang around the 50-metre arc, keeping Bowden where he was less comfortable and damaging.

It was a nice bonus that Miller, more noted for his ball-getting ability than for scoring, hurt Richmond with four goals - three of them scored early in the second quarter in a two-minute burst. When Miller's goal flurry had passed, the Demons had turned a lead of five points into nearly four goals. The Tiger resistance really ended there.

There isn't one simple answer to how a team that won five games last season has managed to win 13 of 17 in 2004. Rivers and Miller, occupiers of those key-position canyons that stymied Melbourne, rank high in the list of explanations.

WHAT'S UP DOCK?

Well, since you're asking Mr Australian Sub Editor. On Saturday, didn't the Pinks play the Dockers, not the Eagles?

WORST

Ever since the good old bad old days days of the seventies and eighties, there has been a gradual cleaning up of the AFL.

This has meant that if there's a bit of biffo needs be dealt out, it can no longer manifest itself as a couple of angry combatants going toe-to-toe. Now players seeking to rough up the opposition have to resort to contact of the sly and sneaky variety.

I'm not suggesting sly contact has never been part of the culture, anyone who remembers Leigh Matthews knee-dropping Ken Hunter at Princes Park in about 1983 would attest to that, but now the cheap shot is pretty much all that's left to any player not wanting to be suspended for a blatant punch on the nose.

From an offending player's perspective, the benefit of a cagey elbow (Brent Harvey on Justin Davies), wild spoil (Nathan Buckley on Andrew Thompson) or devious knee (Greg Stafford on anyone) is that even though he, we and the hittee knows it was intentional, it can be argued as being accidental or incidental contact and thus very difficult for the AFL prosecuter to prove.

This then leads to an overall impression of the tribunal (and the citing process) as being consistently inconsistent.

However, inconsistency's one thing, and given the dynamics of the tribunal it's unavoidable, but sheer bloody farce is another.

For Jeff Farmer to get off a charge of blatantly kneeing Michael Doughty in the face because he ludicrously claimed "was trying to roll Doughty over" is the worst tribunal decision I have ever seen. He should have got at least ten weeks.

I can only hope Farmer has happen to him, what happened to Luke Penny who got off a charge of a sly knee-drop on Gavin Wangafraud which initially cost him two weeks, then the following week played against Melbourne and did his hammy which will cost him four to six. Good.

More here.

PS: For Andrew Demetriou to defend the tribunal with claims that the result proves we watchers shouldn't pass judgement until we've seen and heard all the evidence is just as farcical. With all the facts in, Farmer is still guilty as sin in the eyes of every footy pundit in the land. Even discounting the notion that the AFL is reputedly independant of the tribunal, and therefore shouldn't be justifying it's outcomes.

JEREMY UMMMMMMM

Not him. No. Him.

ROCKIN' RULE

Back in 1990, Melbourne won sixteen games, yet still managed to finish fourth courtesy of big seasons from Collingwood, Essendon and an emerging West Coast Eagles.

In that season Melbourne beat West Coast and Essendon twice, but lost to eventual premier Collingwood at their only meeting.

There are still a lot of Demon fans I know who reckon Melbourne were the best side that year, and yet Melbourne, after beating reigning premier Hawthorn in the Elimination Final were jumped by West Coast at Waverley after a bizarre confluence of draws, byes and injuries, and subsequently bundled out of the finals race.

Looks like the bad "luck" may be set to continue if what I've been saying for a month, and what Rohan Connolly's article in today's Age says, transpires ...

Saints or Demons face finals draw from hell

Six weeks from the end of the home-and-away season, the AFL top four is just about done and dusted.

As impressive and hard-fought as Geelong's 15-point win over Sydney at Skilled Stadium was yesterday, the Cats, two games and close to 10 per cent adrift of fourth-placed Melbourne, just don't have enough time left to close the gap.

But don't think for a moment that for St Kilda, the Brisbane Lions, Port Adelaide and Melbourne, the last half-dozen games are something of a non-event. Because the way the finish to the regular season is shaping up, the so-called luxury of the double chance for the team that finishes third could, in fact, prove a death trap.

While the Saints, Lions, Power and Demons remain locked on 12 wins each for the moment, the draw gives the interstate pair the greatest chance of finishing on top of the ladder come round 22. And that will spell bad news indeed for the side unfortunate enough to finish third.

Brisbane has four of its last six games at the Gabba, another at the MCG against almost-certain wooden spooner Hawthorn, and perhaps its biggest test in round 18 against Sydney at the SCG.

On form, it should win them all. That would give the team seeking a fourth straight flag the minor premiership for the first time.

If the Lions somehow slip up, the Power, with three games at home, two of the other three against sides out of top-eight contention, and the other against arguably its favourite opponent in Essendon on a favoured venue at Telstra Dome, has the greatest chance of heading the table.

Whatever order they finish, with St Kilda and Melbourne both faced with a harder journey home, the Brisbane-Port top-of-the-ladder quinella looks a good bet.

That would mean that the Saints or Demons would finish third, sentencing them to a trip to the Gabba or AAMI Stadium for a qualifying final.

Lose that, and even if they managed to win a knockout semi the next week, it would be more than likely they would be back to the other of those two interstate venues for a preliminary final. And that is the finals draw from hell.

Finish second, and you can at least host your first final at home. Finish fourth, and while you'll have to go interstate in the first week, the contentious AFL-MCC ground contract means a victory will give you a home preliminary final, and even a loss, provided you survive week No. 2, at worst a preliminary on the neutral turf of the MCG.

For the top four, two of whom are separated by just half a percentage point, it makes not only wins, but the size of those victories, absolutely vital and the run home a matter of centimetres or seconds.

Remarkably, after 16 rounds, Brisbane and Port Adelaide have scored the same number of points - 1768 - while the Lions have conceded only five fewer points.

Had the Power scored another seven points against Hawthorn at the MCG, or conceded one less goal, they'd be sitting second this morning rather than in the potential hottest finals seat of them all.

In the bottom half of the eight, meanwhile, Fremantle's unexpected first win in Adelaide on Saturday night merely rubbed more salt into wounds that Carlton inflicted on the Kangaroos earlier in the day.

The Roos are a game out of the eight, having undone all the work of their inspiring win over Fremantle the previous weekend in Perth with one careless stumble against the Blues.

While Dean Laidley's side has a slightly better percentage than the three teams above it - the Dockers, Sydney and Essendon - it also has clearly a tougher final month than any of its immediate rivals, taking on Sydney at the SCG, St Kilda at Telstra Dome and Brisbane at the Gabba over the last four rounds.

Fremantle's reputation as the most unpredictable among the upper echelon of teams continues.

The Dockers don't have a fortress at Subiaco any more, having dropped five out of nine there this season, but have some decent scalps on the road, none more impressive than that of the Crows, still eminently capable on their day, regardless of their ladder position.

It was a victory that meant the difference between sixth and ninth place on the ladder. And one that makes the battle for the bottom half of the eight no less intriguing than the jockeying going on at the top.

First off can I just mention that if Melbourne win every game for the rest of the season, and thus finish above Port who they play in three weeks at AAMI, the following will be just a lot of nonsense.

Melbourne have had a good year to date, but that could all come to nought should they get bundled straight out of the finals race.

That is a distinct possibility should Brisbane and Port, both with relatively easy schedules -- there's no such thing as a "draw" -- finish one and two.

This would mean, on current standings, Melbourne v Port at AAMI and Brisbane v St Kilda at Gabba in week one.

Should both Melbourne and St Kilda lose, and then get through week two against the fifth to eighth qualifiers, Melbourne will play Brisbane at the Gabba because the Lions finished higher than Port, and St Kilda, because of the MCC allocation of a Preliminary Final, and in spite of finishing lower than Melbourne, will get a "home" final at the MCG.

Therefore, Rohan's right, it would be better to finish fourth than third. Absurd.

Never the less, I support the MCC position. The AFL signed the deal, and then ratified it in 2000, what's more, Melbourne have benefitted from the MCC Rule in 2002, so it would be a case of -- grit teeth -- what goes around, comes around.

BUT. There's another permutation not covered in Connolly's article.

This year the AFL owe the MCC THREE games in week one and the AFL have indicated to the MCC that they intend to fulfill that quota. That means if Melbourne finish third, in week one of the finals they will host a home match at the MCG against Port (Once again, on current standings).

Should they win that -- Melbourne have never lost to Port in Victoria, although I consider Port more of a threat this year than previously -- they will go straight into Preliminary Final week with a guaranteed home final against whoever makes it through as their opponent.

In that circumstance -- big smile -- the MCC Rule rocks!

WHITE MAN CAN JUMP

Yesterday's was one of those games that was never going to be pretty, and as far as Melbourne were concerned, there was far more to lose than gain.

It was always going to be a scrap, it nearly always is against the Bulldogs, and then when Green and Davey went down in quick succession I was thinking, here we go. Fortunately, Green came back later, even though his effect was minimal, and Davey had only done a hammy, even though it first looked as though he'd been shot.

Luckily, despite the Dees poor kicking -- that makes 24.46 against the Bulldogs this year and this time was possibly down to uncertainty underfoot due to playing on a skating rink  -- the Dogs were total and utter rubbish.

With a year left on Peter Rohde's contract, the Bulldogs may find themselves with a difficult decision. If they don't already.

They have an appalling style of play which has got to be down to the coach, and I can't see the Bullies hierarchy putting up with the status quo for another year.

However, the AFL have final say over the Bulldogs finances, and they'd be loathe to allow the Dogs to dump a coach early, and thus drop a payout. No matter how low Rohde's package is. And I'm tipping it's very low.

The only thing I can see is that one of Rohde's support staff will take over in the short term. This might act as a circuit breaker as well as save a payout being compounded by a new coach's pay packet.

One thing's for sure, the Dogs have a better list than either Hawthorn or Richmond, yet they're playing absolute trash and it can't be left to continue.

Anyhoo, Bulldogs problems aside, the Dees had plenty of good players, White, Wheatley, Whelan, Nicholson, Nietz, Walsh, Read, Brown and the under-rated Broadbridge, and should have won by a lot more.

And the old footy maxim still holds true ... good sides can win ugly.

Daniher rues behind count

MELBOURNE again emphasised the enormous gulf between the top and bottom sides with a straightforward demolition of a struggling Western Bulldogs outfit yesterday.

While the final margin was only 38 points, it could have been much greater had the Demons not kicked a wasteful 9.21 on the maligned Telstra Dome surface.

So comprehensive was the Demons' win that it raised the question of whether they can finish top two and give themselves a realistic shot at the premiership.

Coach Neale Daniher was circumspect in his response. "If we can keep winning, we can," he said.

But rival Peter Rohde, who witnessed his young side dismembered by a clinical Brisbane the previous week, still feels the Lions are the team to beat for the flag.

"Melbourne were very good in their own way today, but I think anyone who watched the two games would say Brisbane were very methodical and certainly a fair bit more clinical in the way they went about it," Rohde said.

For all that, although yesterday's match never reached great heights, Melbourne was always in control, even though the Demons lost Aaron Davey with a serious hamstring injury in the second quarter and key playmarker Brad Green was concussed in the same term and was only a bit player from then on.

While the Dogs struggled to convert opportunities, they have kicked 10 goals, 10 goals and seven goals in their past three games, the Demons had captain David Neitz as a key focal point.

Neitz finished with 6.2 from his nine kicks, which was a good afternoon's work considering the constant harassment from Brian Harris.

At the other end, the Dogs chief goalkicker was ruckman Luke Darcy with three, but positioning him deep in attack meant opponent Jeff White was able to run rampant in the midfield and across half-back.

It was often White who found Neitz with unstoppable passes every time the Demons needed a goal to keep their momentum going.

And while the predictable Adem Yze and reliable half-back flanker Nathan Brown knocked up getting possessions, former Eagle Phillip Read chipped in with a clever shut-down job on Bulldog centreman Scott West.

With Brad Johnson running out of puff as the game wore on, this left Robert Murphy as the Dogs chief protagonist to kick through the lines and try to generate some scoring chances.

Daniher said he was happy with his players' intensity, but disappointed they did not finish better.

"We had an increase in our percentage, but I thought a lot of shots we missed . . . probably both teams missed . . . really dampened the game," he said. "It was hard to get excited because no goals were going through."

But Daniher was bouyed by the return of Paul Wheatley and Matthew Whelan in defence and Brad Miller in attack.

He also praised 100-gamer Cameron Bruce for taking part after being in hospital on Saturday with a serious gastro attack.

Rohde again conceded that the Dogs' list was not up to scratch.

"I thought we had a real dip today early on in the match although we ran out of running power as time went on," he said.

"We need to get our younger players through as quickly as we possibly can and season them up and harden them up as much as we can.

"That's not to say that we're going to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but clearly our list at the moment is not up with the best teams in the competition."

With gimme games against Richmond and Hawthorn at the MCG in the next two weeks, Melbourne's moment of truth will come against port Adelaide in Round 19 at AAMI Stadium.

CITIZEN MANE

More fine work from Tim Pekin in today's Age. This time it's a tribute to former Fitzroy Lions team-mate, and now Brizroy Lions full-forward Alastair Lynch who plays his 300th game tonight at the MCG against Piewood.

Hoping for the odd magic moment ... Rhyce Shaw's back too.

The last of the mane men

During the week I spoke with some once-passionate Fitzroy supporters. These people used to offer their home, food and friendship to a mongreled infusion of Fitzroy recruits.

Ploughing straight through the old scars, I asked them who they barracked for now. One said he decided early to go with the Fitzroy colours (who else could he follow?), and success had made the transition easier.

Another said she'd followed all of her boys, at whatever club they went to, but her passion stayed with Fitzroy. She follows Lynchy, of course, and Pikey, and Chrissy Johnson. The other has gone completely AWOL, but knows Lynch is still playing.

I was asked the same question. I puzzled for a minute, then gave a totally unconvincing answer. "Well, Lynchy, I suppose, and I guess the Saints, and I'd like to see the Tigers do well, and even the Doggies . . ."

What the hell is that? What happened? So I set myself some research.

As a kid, I barracked for Richmond, back when Robbie McGhie looked like a prison escapee, Dick Clay did drop-kicks, Brian Wood wore a mo yet was still dashing, when clean cut was out and unruly in, when KB's comb-over didn't matter and blood was worn like a badge.

As a boy, I wore the Tiger colours for my local club, Pirron Yallock. The team was mostly made up of farmers' sons and feral kids from the Stony Rises, whose parents bred wild goats with kangaroos and shot trespassers. We thought they came to use the showers rather than play football.

At 15, I went to Colac, and they wore the Tiger strip, too. Stephen "Grub" Theodore was the playing coach. He was a ferocious-looking man - black-bearded, broad-eyed and barrel-chested. I played half-forward flank and used to take hangers on him and kick torpedo goals. I could never tell what he thought of that; he was too smart to smile.

When I got to Fitzroy, I was forced to grow up. No more black and yellow; the Tigers became the opposition. My coach looked like my old coach, only taller, with a beard and the bellow of a butcher. Robert Walls reminded me of an ogre who got sick of being under the bridge, and found he had an appetite for footballers.

I remember watching kick-to-kick before training. Bernie Quinlan was alone in the middle of the ground kicking torpedo goals. Lee Murnane was also alone, apparently because he'd injure anyone who came near him. Paul Roos and Gary Pert just mucked around, trying to take hangers on everybody and each other.

Micky Conlan would roll the ball in front, then run, pick it up, baulk an imaginary opponent, run close to the boundary, kick the goal then scuttle back, laughing. I joined in, for the next six years. Fitzroy in those times was a great place to be.

There is only one left from my time - Alastair Lynch. He was a gangly youth when he came across the Tasman. He stuck close to the other Taswegians at the club, learning how not to dress and listening to their Bob Marley albums. It took him a couple of years to settle in and get going on the field, and by that time I was gone.

St Kilda put me in red, white and black and I spent the next six years at a club that had turned the corner, watching the demise of Fitzroy from far enough away to keep a reasonably objective view. By the time I finished playing football, Fitzroy had finished, too.

Now, when I look at who is around me, it is mates from my Fitzroy days - Michael Gale, Matthew Armstrong, David Strooper, Jimmy Wynd. Even though all of us finished our careers at other clubs, we have maintained regular contact. The only one still playing is Lynchy.

I think for supporters (and yes, former players) of Fitzroy, Lynchy has become an icon, a shining beacon of the old, oblivious to the flash of the new. For those whose football birthplace was Fitzroy, who feel separated from the biological parent, unhomed and still unable to move on, Lynch represents the Fitzroy Football Club.

He is a bit like the archetypal hero, a young warrior schooled in the old ways, struck down by an undefinable illness, who emerges against all odds, bigger and better than before. He has become a link with tradition, and gives hope that Fitzroy still exists in these new Lions. For the diehards who need a team, Lynchy can bring some reality to old dreams.

So get in among some glory and head to the MCG tonight. You might even enjoy yourself.

I spoke to a mate about what I was writing. He said not to make a fuss about the old tosser, just say: "Well done, and we'll see him tonight."

HMAS HOLLAND

From dinghy to destroyer ...

Demons ride on Holland heroics

MIDWAY through the third quarter at the MCG yesterday two questions were being asked. Fraser who? David who?

Fraser Gehrig might sit second on the goalkicking table but he was a distant memory as Nick Riewoldt put on a clinic in the St Kilda goalsquare.

At the other end the unlikely figure of Ben Holland was reducing Melbourne's gun goalkicker David Neitz to a mere bystander.

When Holland, who was relishing playing at centre half-forward after the late withdrawal of Brad Miller, kicked his second for the term at the 12-minute mark after another strong lead, he had four and the Demons had 14.

He also had 15 possessions, the most of any Demon on the ground, while Neitz had just one kick for a behind.

While Holland's heroics came from left field given his recent poor form, the Riewoldt show was of no great surprise to anyone given the amount of serious talent the kid has, and the fact he was playing on Alastair Nicholson.

"Jack" Nicholson is a good, honest battler, but he was seriously out of his league yesterday. When Riewoldt kicked his fourth at the 24-minute mark of the opening quarter, Melbourne coach Neale Daniher did what all Demons fans had been screaming for � he moved Jack.

Jared Rivers had the next crack, but he was soon in trouble when Riewoldt kicked the first two goals of the third quarter to take his tally to seven and bring the Saints within three points.

Suddenly there was some murmuring in the crowd and eyebrows being raised.

Maybe the Saints' slump was finally going to end. Against the odds, they were going to stand up and be counted away from their comfort zone of Telstra Dome.

Enter Xavier Clarke.

While it's harsh to lump everything on the head of the young Saint, it was a bad error from the X-man that swung the momentum back to Melbourne.

Clarke's decision to leap for a spectacular mark on the back of teammate Troy Schwarze as he wrestled with Russell Robertson was selfish and stupid.

All he managed to do was fall over, push Schwarze over, and then watch as Robertson took two bounces and centre the ball to a leading Holland who slotted it through from 30m.

Melbourne kicked the next four goals to kill the contest. As St Kilda coach Grant Thomas pointed out afterwards, the Clarke mistake was something that wouldn't have happened six weeks ago and encapsulated just how far his side had slumped in form and confidence.

"It was a defining moment," Thomas agreed.

"As brittle as we have been recently, we need those sorts of things to go our way. It's fair to say we wouldn't have made that decision six or eight weeks ago."

The Riewoldt-Holland comparison says a lot about this game. Riewoldt was single-handedly keeping his side in it while Holland stood out because he was the odd one out.

There were plenty of other destructive Melbourne players, but we're so used to watching them do it this season, particularly at the MCG, that it becomes old hat.

Brad Green and Cameron Bruce rotated on and off the ball at half-forward with each kicking three goals and collecting more than 20 touches.

Jeff White (25 disposals, 24 hitouts, seven marks and a goal) dominated the ruck. And if it wasn't for Riewoldt's nine goals, there would have been another three Brownlow votes going White's way.

Chris Heffernan and Phillip Read stitched up Nick Dal Santo and Lenny Hayes respectively, leaving Luke Ball (30 possessions) the only Saint to have any impact through the midfield.

By early in the final term the Saints' day lurched from bad to worse with only 19 fit men � that's if you can call centre half-forward Aaron Hamill that. He required a pain-killing injection in his ribs to get up for the game, and it showed.

When Luke Penny strained his hamstring early in the last quarter after blanketing Neitz � the Melbourne skipper got three junk-time goals after he went off � he joined Matt Maguire (groin) and Steven Baker (broken nose) as casualties.

Add that to no Gehrig and no Brent Guerra, and the Saints didn't have the cattle to put up a fight against a Demon machine that continues to roll on and on, picking up new passengers like Ben Holland, as it goes.

PUDDING US ON

Footy talk. It sure can develop a life of it's own.

First Jason Akermanis, comparing skinfold tests, says Collingwood aren't as fit as Brisbane. Fair enough. Maybe they aren't, they certainly weren't as fit as Melbourne.

Following on, the rest of the weekend's TV and radio coverage is full of amazed talk about how Akermanis had the audacity to call the Pies "fat".

Then this morning on SEN Akermanis is interviewed by Lyon, Brownless and Watson. Even though the Brisbane goalsneak states blank that he never called Collingwood fat or porky, the panelists flatly refuse to accept any explanation other than that's what Akermanis obviously meant.

Now, he's a brilliant player and a renowned shit-stirrer -- Is it possible to take seriously someone who dyes their hair white and their "beard" black? -- especially his comments last year that Eddiewood were soft in the Grand Final, but suggesting they're less fit is tepid criticism at worst.

Anyhoo, it didn't stop the Herald Sun, dutifully beating up this weekend's Brizroy v Piewood match, deeming the comments "explosive".

Get a grip. Calling them scared is explosive, saying they're in less good shape than Brisbane is not.

Akermanis bakes meaty Pies

JASON Akermanis has re-ignited his verbal war with Collingwood, inferring several Magpies are too flabby for the AFL.

The outspoken Brisbane Lions star has declared he was surprised by the body shape of Collingwood players sunning themselves at Queensland resort Mooloolaba last month.

Akermanis, who saw footage on TV of the Pies heading for the surf in their boardshorts, said captain Nathan Buckley was the only player who appeared to be "rippling".

"Nathan Buckley, he was the only guy I could see – I know there's Paul Licuria and Shane Woewodin – but he was the only guy I could see who looked in real good shape," Akermanis told radio station Triple M on his regular guest spot.

"(Buckley was) just lean . . . with his physique you could see it . . . sort of rippling in a way.

"With our skinfolds and stuff, I think most of the team is in that kind of shape.

"I can't say that I could see that looking (at Collingwood) on the screen.

"Take it for what it's worth, but our guys are really professional with that kind of stuff and they present themselves well every year."

The comments are explosive, particularly considering Brisbane travels to the MCG on Saturday to confront the Magpies, the Lions' prey in the past two Grand Finals.

Akermanis made his judgment from coverage of the Pies' now infamous mid-season trip north.

"I saw a shot of them on the beach just about to get in the water – for Queenslanders it's probably too cold anyway, but for Victorians it's just fantastic," he said.

The Pies have struggled to powerfully run out games this year, winning just four final quarters.

Akermanis has made a habit of taking a swipe at the Magpies, accusing them of ducking for cover in the heat of last year's Grand Final.

"We were hard and they were jumping out of the way," Akermanis said.

"I think in the second quarter we played so brutally that a lot of their guys were jumping out of the way.

"You know that you're here to play when they're doing that.

"That's when I knew it was swinging our way.

"I think our guys showed you've got to be tough. That's what it takes in the big games and that's where we won it today."

SNEAK PEKIN

Three weeks ago former Fitzroy and St Kilda player, Tim Pekin, had an excellent letter published within Martin Flanagan's Saturday Age spot. The letter detailed Pekin's memories of Jimmy Krakouer.

The Age must have liked what they saw, because today they give Pekin space for a full article. Chances are they gave him money too. He deserves it. This time round Pekin writes about Danny Frawley.

Once again it's a fine piece of insider writing detailing Pekin's opinion of Frawley as a terrific bloke who owns a timely sense of humour and is a thoroughly professional football person.

It also mentions Pekin's boss, who from what I can gather, wouldn't be out of place substituting for David Brent in The Office.

Interestingly it doesn't mention whether Pekin thinks Frawley is (soon to be was) a "good" coach. Well it wouldn't, would it.

Spud remains a humorous chip off the bold block

It's been eight years since I last played a game of football, and perhaps 10 since I played well. I've walked down a few different paths, tried other things, pondered life and its edges, but never have I really been able to get away from football.

I've tried and failed. Failed because I like the game, in the way you might like your wife of two wives ago, when lives were insular and full, and not a lot else mattered.

Now, I read the paper more than once a week, notice guys who I played with and against - some playing, others coaching, others in the media adding their lot to the ascendancy of the game. Luckily, football is not food; imagine the obesity of the nation.

My sometime boss, a self-confessed "silverback", the kind who wants to be the dominant male in the group, recently brought a video to work. It was a Fitzroy versus St Kilda game at the Junction Oval in 1984. His obvious motive was to show me playing poorly. Yet an equally plausible motive was that he suffered from borderline affection affliction, common in long-term, ground-level supporters.

On-screen, the figure of Danny Frawley came bristling out of defence. My first impulse was to grin. Given the scrutiny he's been under this year, it was refreshing to see the young "Spud" running around like an unbroken brumby, and actually being chased by that old thoroughbred, Bernie Quinlan. It's funny how a particular gait can flush memories of years now fused together.

The ball continued downfield where Trevor Barker threw himself skyward, planting a knee in his opponent's ribs, blond locks hovering in homage to another big grab. Abruptly, a gloating voice broke through my reminiscence: "See, there you are, look, look, he's taken a speccy on you!" It's hard to turn your back on football.

The video reminded me of a West Coast-St Kilda game in the early '90s, when the Eagles were herculean and haughty, especially in Perth, flag-fancied yet still foreign. On this occasion, they had flogged St Kilda by a big margin.

The midnight flight home was a solemn experience. As a player, you knew the best idea was to sit next to somebody who had played worse than you, worm your way to the window seat, make sure you didn't need to go to the toilet and pretend to sleep. Poor form combined with a loss was a serious problem; my opponent had kicked four goals in the first quarter, which made it difficult to find a player to sit next to.

A dreadful day was encapsulated by a four-hour flight that felt like six. As we reached Tullamarine, the players were told to go straight to Moorabbin for a training session. Bleary-eyed and aching, I drove across town hoping it was all a bluff. Wearing stale, sweat-wet socks, jocks and shorts, we shuffled onto the oval, huddled together like underperforming bulls waiting for the knackery truck to arrive.

The coach, Ken Sheldon, ordered running up and down the stairs of the grandstand as punishment, single file, no gaps, otherwise we'd have to start again.

After about 15 minutes of the grumbling made by heavy feet, Spud charged up. Most players find it hard to get out of themselves after bad performances, but Spud forced himself through it and took others with him. "Peeks, how many did (Brett) Heady get? Four or five? Geez, how could you let him?" Just like that, it was talked about and I could move on.

An hour later, Sheldon called us in. The peculiar thing about "Bomba" Sheldon was his very readable anger signal. His eyes would protrude about an inch from his head, large and gross, as if they were fake. Now, many hours after the game, they were just starting to re-engage their sockets. We watched warily. Before he could say anything, Spud inquired: "You want us to go to church now, Bomba?"

Those in the front row examined the frost still fresh on the blades of grass underfoot. The rest inhaled and merged behind Stewie Loewe, awaiting the outcome. Sheldon didn't want to, but his eyes popped back into place, and he grinned.

Danny has always seen himself as equal to any situation or challenge; his determination to succeed comes from self-belief. He takes football seriously, as well as passionately - that we all know - and gives his all. This year might have knocked him around a bit, but I can't imagine it will drive him away from the game.

When next year comes around, he'll probably be in some coaching role, telling tales of when he coached the Tigers. I can see him starting with this one from last year:

"It was halfway through the third quarter and I was busting for a leak. I told the boys in the box to look after things. When I got to the toilet, the two Tiger lads in there sprinkled themselves when they saw it was me. To put them at ease, I said, 'Looks like we're in trouble fellas, any moves I should make?'. 'Yeah Spudda,' said one, who looked like he'd had a few beers. 'Move Holland forward.' I'd actually been thinking of doing that, so I told him it was a good idea. When I got back to the box, I made the move. Would have loved to see the grins on those boys' faces."

Spud was always good at keeping things real and for seeing the humour in any situation. I doubt that's changed. He's just had to be more private about it lately.