AGB Footy

QUATRAIN DERAILED

John Brumby, Victoria's Poet Lorrikeet, has penned a poem to the Pies:

No use crying over ruffled feathers

The black and white army sticks together

The Pies machine will come to the fore

In next year's battle, just watch us soar.

Great work John Bleats! Why not get "Professional Aussie" John Williamson to put a tune to it.

GRAND MEMORIES

Thanks to the magic of photography we can forever re-live those golden Grand Final moments. Someone call Tony Greig.

Ever wonder what the players think about before a Grand Final? Jason Akermanis seems mighty confident. Nathan Buckley less so.

Robert Copeland pleads ignorance as Bucks spells it out. F-I-G-J-A-M!

Collingwood tough guy Richard Cole, is brave in defeat.

Jason Akermanis walks the talk.

Alistair Lynch sells a dummy, to a dummy.

Simon Black worries about vaunted tagger, Brodie Holland.

Nigel Le Lappin proves he's no cheese eating surrender bunny.

Pictures courtesy of Rude Rither at Macquarie Bank. Football Dept.

CARLTON CONFIDENTIAL

Fortunately, correspondance goes astray.

Before the 1993 Grand Final Essendon assistant coach Neil Daniher accidentally faxed Essendon's game plan to a high profile Carlton supporter.

Upon realising his bizarre mistake - Melbourne fans would suggest he keeps making them - Daniher rang the supporter and asked him not to forward the details on to then Carlton coach David Parkin.

Amazingly the supporter "did the right thing" and kept Daniher's mistake secret until after the Grand Final.

Among other things the fax revealed Essendon's centre-bounce tactics for the day. A part of the game at which Carlton had been dominating through 1993, and which in the Grand Final they were comprehensively whipped.

And since Carlton were happlessly butt-fucked that day you can imagine this "sporting" gesture has since gnawed at Parkin.

Therefore, it is in the fine tradition of misdirected correspondance - sadly not top secret - that I can perform another "sporting" gesture and present for you Carlton's President's Report for 2003....

PRESIDENT'S REPORT

It is with great pleasure that I submit this edited email version of the 2003 Annual Report to the members of the Carlton Football Club.

2003 was a year of great change for the Blues. I changed the name of the John Elliott Stand, and Denis Pagan changed his 1998 Mitsubishi for a brand new BMW. On-field Carlton shocked the football world by avoiding the spoon and to be honest I was pretty surprised myself. I would like to leave all loyal members with the message that the only way is up, but given that we finished 15th, I can't.

Ian Collins
General Manager, Telstra Dome