GABBA GOLD

First, a helpful heads-up to any foreign readers because this post will probably make even less sense than usual. If that's at all possible.

Anyway, it's about Aussie Rules, or Rules Football as you American time-out taking, stopping, starting, helmet wearing, padding protected nancy boys are prone to call it. If it's any help I'll try to assist y'all by stating that ONE GOAL is worth SIX POINTS and ONE BEHIND is worth ONE POINT. However, ONE POINT is often called ONE BEHIND, but conversely, ONE BEHIND is often called ONE POINT. The overall score is kept in POINTS. This amounts to the total value of all GOALS (Six Points) and BEHINDS (One Point) scored. The total is NOT to be referred to as BEHINDS! Unless NO GOALS have been scored. Geographically the BEHINDS, or POINTS, are located on either side of the GOALS which are located at either end of the ground. Which is normal. Get the picture? Good.

What's that your saying?...."If you don't get to the POINT soon I'll kick you in the BEHIND!"

Now you're getting it. Well, here....

I've just watched That Was The Season That Was on the Fox Footy Channel. Yeah, I know. It's the middle of summer. Pathetic! Anyway, I've just seen again this magic exchange from the Sunday (That's a day Steve) Arvo Channel Nine footy team at the Gabba (Short for Wooloongabba, Brisbane's home stadium) earlier this year. The three commentators were Gerard Healy, Dermott Brereton and Dennis "Centimeter Perfect" Commetti.

Gerard Healy - "Dermott, I got a letter the other day from a lady who wanted to know why a behind isn't called a beside."

Dermott Brereton - "Errrrr, good point."

ENCORE! ENCORE!

Amazingly neither Dermott, Gerard or Dennis realized that Dermott had accidentally tripped over a line of rare beauty.

Now, for anyone out there who doesn't understand Aussie Rules, that should be perfectly clear.