AGB Cricket

NEVER GIVE A SUCKER AN EVEN BREAK

What's Steve Waugh up to? Bat Them Out Of It Tugga! Just like the bath dodgers did in S'Siddey.

And what's this nonsense?

He decided against batting in the first innings after feeling his concentration had waned while waiting out long partnerships.

So he sends someone else in then. I'd be very disappointed if I thought he was protecting his average. If it's good enough to sacrifice Gilchrist's and Hogg's then it should be good enough for Waugh to step into the breach. I'd actually thought he was protecting his hand for an extra day or so. That seemed reasonably sound given the circumstances. But "concentration"?!? Every one in the dressing-room would have been suffering the same degree of tedium. For the captain to cede his position in the order for that seems totally bizarre!

CARRIBEAN CRUSADE

Ahem. Never in Doubt.

The trend continues. The Aussies have won another Test Match inside four days. I'm conflicted over this. I like to spank all comers but I also love Test cricket so I'd like to get my five days worth. Of course that point's about as sharp as a bowling ball because I only watched about half an hour's worth this time.

However, on balance there's one undeniable fact. I hate it when we lose. No, really, I hate it. In the Mark Latham sense. Really. H-A-T-E. It's painful. For all of you out there who suffered through it, remember the 1980's. Night! Mare! Velcro shoe straps. Pastel shirts. Big hair. John Hughes. Fruit shampoo. Pet rocks. Chris Broad. Richard Hadlee. Larry Gomes. Ian Botham. Chris Tavare. John F**kin' Bracewell. Greg Ritchie. Oops.

Admittedly there have been some great matches in the last few years, however we mostly conspired to lose them. That's L-O-S-E. Means P-A-I-N. So, for all of You Out There who Long for a Contest just cool your jets and lap it up while we're winning. We'll be crap again someday. Our winning run won't last forever.

BUT! Forget all that. Here's the real story from last night:

[Gill Pie] received three LBW decisions from umpire Asoka de Silva - all of which appeared to be out.

When I read that I registered three reactions. All of which appeared to be surprise.

CARRIBEAN CRUSADE

GULP!

CARRIBEAN CRUSADE

I didn't get to see much of the Cricket Last Night. None in fact. The only bit I saw was seen through a Fog Of Hangover early this morning. Very disappointed. 1 for 285 becomes All Out 489. Once again Australia squander a brilliant start. Now they're 252 ahead when it should be 400 some time today.

252 ahead means that if, on this miniscule ground it's not impossible, Lara or Chanders can put together a big score Australia will be chasing a difficult target late in the game. Not a prospect I ever look forward to.

Now, what did I see this morning? Weeeelllllll, as soon as I sat down Gilchrist got out. Nothing new there. That happens nearly every time I turn on the radio or TV. He was Caught & Bowled Jermaine Jackson, err, Jamie Lawson, err Jermaine Lawson. Yep. That's him. A lame shot. Never the less he was once again the right man at the right time. Or as Brian Johnson would have said "Once again here's Gilchrist, righting the ship." I wonder if it would've attracted the same number of complaints as his; "Gower, righting the ship." Which was interpreted by the Test Match Special listeners as; "Gower, right in the s**t.

Anyhoo, back at the point, it wasn't Gilchrist's dismissal that caused a rumpus at Chez Grog, it was the bowler.  Or more particularly his action. As soon as Lawson bowled the first ball I've seen him bowl the howl went up. "That's a throw!" I watched him closely for the remainder of his spell. He's definitely a chucker. But that ball to Gilchrist? Jesus H Sandy Koufax! Are they going to do away with the throwing rule? There doesn't seem any point to it?

Travis Bichel was handy too. He's turning into a savior of Dujonesque proportions.

CARRIBEAN CRUSADE

Cricket's back. Good. Starts at midnight. Bad. On holidays. Good. Only two weeks. Bad.

The Action Last Night reminded me of the recent World Cup of Benaud. Windies all out for 237, Aussies 1 for 120. Sounds like a Duckyloo result.

I predicted a 3-0 series win for the Aussies and saw nothing last night which altered that prediction. No Hooper. No Sarwan. No Crystal Gayle. Three of their best five batsmen missing. No Walsh. No Ambrose. No spinner. How are the Windies going to consistently bowl the Aussies out? Now there's no Jacobs. Lara is a shocking captain. If the Windies surprise he'll have made approximately 1,567 runs by serie's end.

Some observations from last night:

1) Smith - LB. Shocker. Not just an edge, it came off the middle of his bat. Almost.

2) Lara - LB. Ordinary. Clearly would have missed Off.

3) Chanders - LB. Shocker. Pitched outside Leg. Missing Off. Shocking shot.

4) Dillon - LB. Shocker. Apparently. Didn't see it. Anyone?

5) Rudy & The Sock - Four bad LB's in one day. Speaks for itself.

6) Tactics - Windies. None. Slogging's not a tactic. Aussies. Bowled sub OK. Batted better.

7) Magilla  - Just me? Or, does he drop plenty off his own bowling?

8) Haydos - Bad run out.

9) Bourda Ground - My back yard is made of bricks but is softer. Probably bigger, too.

10) Pitch - Slow. May get difficult.

11) Craig McDermott Memorial Sea Wall - Bigger than I'd imagined.

12) David Hookes - Ease down Hook. You're not smart. Don't opine.

13) Jim Maxwell - No one left at the ABC? "Bowler runs in. Bowler bowls. Batsmen plays. MISSES! Not out. Ooooooh, that was close." No it wasn't. Settle the f**k down! Jim's idea of grenade punctuated commentary gives me heart trouble.

Prediction - Never make them until both teams have batted.