AGB Cricket

POX OFFICE

The best thing about Michael Parkinson's cricket writing is that he's not caught up in the conflicts of interest or compromises of the modern day player, administrator, full-time cricket pundit or "official" broadcaster. How I hate that last term.

This is not to say all official participants are complicit in promoting elements detrimental to the essence of cricket, but as an "outsider" Parky's able to freely offer opinions without the natural contraints of the professional "insiders" that dictate it's vital to first consider the bottom line.

Does the integrity of the game count for naught?

When John Howard, the Prime Minister of Australia, said Muttiah Muralitharan was a chucker, he was only saying what the rest of us were thinking but it did the job. Murali withdrew from the present Sri Lanka tour of Australia.

Writing in the current issue of Wisden Cricketer, Peter Roebuck wonders what all the fuss is about. He says cricket cannot afford to waste more time on its obsession with bent-arm bowling actions. Pointing out the game is struggling in Africa and the Caribbean, Roebuck argues that there are bigger issues than the action of a bowler with a "freakish" action who was "smacked around by the Australians and causes mayhem mainly among Englishmen unable to use their feet".

He might well have a point except the bowler in question has taken more Test wickets than any other 527 and counting - and it is still not clear how many have been taken with illegal deliveries. Surely that matters or does the integrity of the game count for naught?

I find the attitude of some former players to Muchichuckalot quite mystifying. I was talking to one the other day who, while admitting the bowler chucked, said he should be allowed to continue because he was "good for the game".

When I asked for an explanation he said he was "box office" and wasn't in any danger of doing an opponent bodily harm like, say, Shoaib Akhtar might. A curious justification.

In the meantime, by judiciously avoiding trouble, Muchichuckalot should go on taking wickets, putting his record further out of reach of more scrupulous bowlers. If he wants my vote, Tony Blair should stop wasting his breath praising our poor lads in Portugal. Instead, he should denounce Muralitharan, thus guaranteeing one less chucker in the forthcoming ICC Champions Trophy.

It won't happen. The Prime Minister of Australia knows about sport. Ours neither knows nor cares.

Thanks to Jack.H who extracted it from under Wayne Rooney and Steve Harmison.

AMBI CLAIM

Even my esteemed co-clogger and some-time Murali defender, Ambidextri -- although forgetting the umpire must also have a say in the legality of the action -- has had a shot at Murali's decision not to tour. He too reckons the Sri Lankan off-swindler is being a sook. And hints at worse.

Australia 3-0 Murali

Well, they've finally won it. Australia's onslaught on Murali's action has paid dividends with the news that the world record wicket taker has pulled out of the tour to Australia. Murali was called there while touring in 95/96 and 98/99, and although he swore never to tour there again, it seemed that bygones could be bygones. However, after being called again, Australian Prime Minister John Howard weighed in with the four words which doomed Murali's tour: He is a chucker. This is not only Australia's mission of course, people from many countries express doubt over Murali's action, but nowhere is the belief that he is a cheat and a chucker so widely held.

It is however a weak decision. Ok, so he doesn't want to be called again while there, and I'm sure he can live without the heckling, but this erodes his second defence, that of his honesty. There are only two ways in which a bowler can be viewed as legal. When he is scientifically proven so, and through the trust that both administrator and fan must have in his honesty. I have no more problem trusting Murali than I do in trusting Lee or Akhtar or Mushtaq or Singh. To me however, pulling out of this tour opens the door to suggestions that he himself knows that he is throwing it. Obviously I'm guessing here, but if he was 100% sure of his action wouldn't his response be to go and stuff the abuse straight back down the sledging throats? Who knows, perhaps the abuse just isn't worth it. It is his choice.

At least James Sutherland, CEO of Cricket Australia, could say : he's made a decision and we respect that. He knows full well that Cricket Australia and the Australian players were very keen for him to come." - "His record shows that he is one the greatest players of all time and we hope to have him back in Australia at some stage in the future."

So no Warne and no Murali, tests in relatively small venues, cue easy Australian victory and a lasting bad taste in the mouth.

No "lasting bad taste" here. Despite the injury to his non-bowling hand, Warne will probably end up playing and Murali won't. Which means, if the Sri Lankan batting holds up, Warne, who's action has never been called into question, will probably get enough chances to overhaul Murali's fraudulent record. That's good. Pity it won't last. That's bad.

PS: Ambi's right about that edge off Donald in 1992. Shocker.

DENNIS TO MENACE: "SOOK"

While the Fairfaxis of Evil are typically keen to blame the Prime Minister, Dennis Lillee, the world's foremost bowling coach, delivers a short and sharply rising backhander to the wicket thief.

Lillee accuses Muralitharan of 'cop-out'

Australian bowling legend Dennis Lillee has accused Muttiah Muralitharan of hiding from tough opposition after the controversial off spinner blamed "severe mental trauma" for his decision to boycott Sri Lanka's tour of Australia.

Murali has deprived the Top End tour of Darwin and Cairns, set to begin with a tour match next week, of its major attraction.

Sri Lankan team manager Ajit Jayasekera last night explained that Prime Minister John Howard's branding of Muralitharan as "a chucker" was just one of several reasons for Muralitharan's withdrawal from the 16-man squad due to arrive in Australia on Sunday.

"It's not only that (Howard's) statement. Over the last couple of months, he has undergone severe mental trauma due to a series of events that made him make up his mind quite firmly," Jayasekera said.

Cricket Australia, powerless to take its frustration out on the Prime Minister, was dismayed but not surprised by Murali's announcement. Vice-captain Adam Gilchrist was once fined for answering a question exactly the same way as Howard did.

"I'm not sure that he falls under that (players') code," joked chief executive James Sutherland, who claimed no knowledge of the nature of Murali's personal reasons. "It's not something we really can take any action over."

With Shane Warne, who recently said Murali was too precious about criticism, only a 50-50 chance of playing because of a broken left hand, the Tests in the two northern cities are sure to suffer.

"In the last week, we may have lost two of the main drawcards, with Shane's injury and now Murali making this announcement, so it's really disappointing," Sutherland said.

"(But) we do know there's a lot of interest in both Darwin and Cairns in the two Test matches and we don't expect that to change dramatically."

But Lillee was scathing. "I was brought up to be wary of people who pick up their bat and go home. I think this is a pathetic decision and a real cop-out.

"Muralitharan has played all these Tests and taken all these cheap wickets, like against the Zimbabwe second XI, but now he is not fronting up when the going gets tough," he said.

Former Test captain Kim Hughes said Murali's decision was "a real tragedy". "I would love to have seen how he went against our guys on our wickets," he said.

Jayasakera would not say whether the appointment for the series of match referee Chris Broad, who reported Muralitharan's "doosra" in Colombo in March, influenced the decision.

Murali, who has taken a world-record 527 Test wickets to Warne's 517, had not contemplated future tours of Australia, where he was called for throwing by Australian umpires in 1995-96 and complained of name-calling from the crowds.

Murali has long held reservations about the tour and recently said he needed a break.

It would be worth a a trip to Darwin to shake Chris Broad's hand.

PS: DK's not the only one.