AGB Cricket

KNOX ROX!

There were many worthy contenders for the AGB Load-a-Drone readers' poll Man of the Series in the recently completed Trans-Tasman Trophy: Phil Hughes, Martin Guptill, Kane Williamson and Usman Khawaja all received serious consideration in the eyes of the readers. But we here at the AGB felt the readers did not take the voting process entirely seriously or, most probably, are a pack to morons, so we consulted an expert in Man of the Match selection, Western Australian football legend Ross Glendenning. Ross?

"Thank you, Tony. The AGB settled on James Pattinson for Man of the Series, but walking up to the dais I decided that the winner of the AGB Load-a-Drone readers' poll for Man of the Series should instead go to a person who is playing an absolute blinder this season - Malcolm Knox":

Yes, Major, we have been worse, but only just

AT RISK of sounding like The Major rebuffing any suggestion that Fawlty Towers is the worst hotel on earth - ''No! There's a place in Eastbourne!'' - the Australian cricket team has been worse in recent years than it was yesterday.

Now that reality has bitten, Australia can get on with the job

FOR four years, the Australian cricket team has struggled on like a dialysis patient waiting for a donor. After the retirements of the greats, this team got by on a blend of fading legends, transition-era journeymen, and a parade of triallists.

FROM BAT TO WORSE

Can't remember when we started compiling the Sub-300 Club, maybe two years ago with the list half as long. Who knew - although we may have suspected - that those two years would comprise one of the worst batting records in Australian cricket history, since the previous two years.

Opposition	Total	Venue		Date
India		212	Perth		16-Jan-08
West Indies	167	Kingston	22-May-08
West Indies	251	Bridgetown	12-Jun-08
India		268	Mohali		17-Oct-08
India		195	Mohali		17-Oct-08
India		209	Nagpur		06-Nov-08
New Zealand	214	Brisbane	20-Nov-08
New Zealand	268	Brisbane	20-Nov-08
South Africa	247	Melbourne	26-Dec-08
South Africa	207	Johannesburg	26-Feb-09
South Africa	209	Cape Town	19-Mar-09
England		215	Lord's		16-Jul-09
England		263	Birmingham	30-Jul-09
England		160	The Oval	20-Aug-09
West Indies	150	Perth		16-Dec-09
Pakistan	225/8d	Melbourne	26-Dec-09
Pakistan	127	Sydney		03-Jan-10
New Zealand	231	Hamilton	27-Mar-10
Pakistan	253	Lord's		13-Jul-10
Pakistan	88	Leeds		21-Jul-10
India		192	Mohali		01-Oct-10
India		223	Bangalore	09-Oct-10
England		245	Adelaide	03-Dec-10
England		268	Perth		16-Dec-10
England		98	Melbourne	26-Dec-10
England		258	Melbourne	28-Dec-10
England		280	Sydney		03-Jan-11
England		281	Sydney		06-Jan-11
Sri Lanka	273	Galle		31-Aug-11
Sri Lanka	210	Galle		02-Aug-11
South Africa	284	Cape Town	09-Nov-11
South Africa	47	Cape Town	10-Nov-11
South Africa	296	Johannesburg	18-Nov-11
New Zealand	137	Hobart		10-Dec-11
New Zealand	216	Hobart		12-Dec-11
India		240	Melbourne	28-dec-11

OUR PHIL HUGHES: "MIRROR, MIRROR..."

LOOK BACK IN LANGER

Can't remember when we started compiling the Sub-300 Club, maybe two years ago with the list half as long. Who knew - although we may have suspected - that those two years would comprise one of the worst batting records in Australian cricket history, since the previous two years.

Opposition	Total	Venue		Date
India		212	Perth		16-Jan-08
West Indies	167	Kingston	22-May-08
West Indies	251	Bridgetown	12-Jun-08
India		268	Mohali		17-Oct-08
India		195	Mohali		17-Oct-08
India		209	Nagpur		06-Nov-08
New Zealand	214	Brisbane	20-Nov-08
New Zealand	268	Brisbane	20-Nov-08
South Africa	247	Melbourne	26-Dec-08
South Africa	207	Johannesburg	26-Feb-09
South Africa	209	Cape Town	19-Mar-09
England		215	Lord's		16-Jul-09
England		263	Birmingham	30-Jul-09
England		160	The Oval	20-Aug-09
West Indies	150	Perth		16-Dec-09
Pakistan	225/8d	Melbourne	26-Dec-09
Pakistan	127	Sydney		03-Jan-10
New Zealand	231	Hamilton	27-Mar-10
Pakistan	253	Lord's		13-Jul-10
Pakistan	88	Leeds		21-Jul-10
India		192	Mohali		01-Oct-10
India		223	Bangalore	09-Oct-10
England		245	Adelaide	03-Dec-10
England		268	Perth		16-Dec-10
England		98	Melbourne	26-Dec-10
England		258	Melbourne	28-Dec-10
England		280	Sydney		03-Jan-11
England		281	Sydney		06-Jan-11
Sri Lanka	273	Galle		31-Aug-11
Sri Lanka	210	Galle		02-Aug-11
South Africa	284	Cape Town	09-Nov-11
South Africa	47	Cape Town	10-Nov-11
South Africa	296	Johannesburg	18-Nov-11
New Zealand	137	Hobart		10-Dec-11

EXTRACT THE DIGITAL

Sydney and Melbourne viewers are about to stay with us for the News:

TV cricket breakthrough changes the Test pattern

AFTER years of torment for cricket fans, and ritual bombardment of Nine's switchboard by disgruntled viewers, it will be possible to watch the final overs of Test matches live, even when they are bowled during the six o'clock news.

Nine has successfully applied to the federal government to be allowed to show Test matches on their digital affiliate GEM during news programs. From today, if play goes beyond 6pm, the ominous announcement that ''Sydney and Melbourne viewers are about to leave us for the news'' will be replaced by an invitation to change channels.

The TV industry [and savvy viewers] claimed that, initially, there was a reluctance by networks to split audiences by continuing live sport on digital channels, as they feared it would adversely affect ratings for the fiercely competitive news programs. However, Crawley said Nine had been eager to give viewers the choice.

''If it was up to us [the sports department], we would have sport on all day and all night,'' he said. ''Sport is a big part of what Nine does. But our news brand is also very important and we have to acknowledge that, too.''

But, but, but, what am I going to complain about now? Guess I'll find something.

SECOND TEST: BELLERIVE

We'll hold you to this and this:

Those photos were not taken today, so there is every chance the pitch will be less green when play starts.

Of more concern is Michael Clarke's unmatched talent for losing the toss. The Hobart forecast is for "afternoon showers/possible storm" which means the conditions could be swing friendly and if Australia bats this morning there is every chance they will not be batting tonight.

(And fingers crossed no hipster deadshit starts referring to the Aussies as the White Sox.)

THE BLACK FLIPS

Black Caps skipper Ross Taylor is no Simon Katich with his combination of back flip, taken-out-of-context, grovel and damage control:

Taylor backpedals on Hughes comments

New Zealand captain Ross Taylor says comments he made about wanting Australian opener Phil Hughes to play in the second Test were "tongue-in-cheek".

Taylor had declared he would "love" Hughes to be picked for Hobart after he was dismissed cheaply twice in the same fashion during the first Test in Brisbane.

"I made a tongue-in-cheek comment that was made probably made a bit more of than it probably should have been," he said.

"He's still a world-class opener, he's still got three hundreds for Australia ... he's scored runs against us in the past and he scored more runs than I did in the last game so I'm sure he'll be fine. It wasn't that long ago where he scored an 88 against South Africa, which was an outstanding innings and put Australia on the front foot."

KPI: KEY PERFORMANCE INJURY

Good news! Pat Cummins is now firmly ensconsed in the Australian cricket family and well on the way to a long term (if staccato) career as an Australian fast bowler after being diagnosed with the obligatory stress fracture:

Cummins to miss start of India series

Teen pace bowling star Pat Cummins will miss the start of Australia's home Test series against India after being diagnosed with a bone stress injury in his heel.

Cummins suffered the injury in his exciting debut in last month's second Test against South Africa which was first thought to be just bruising.

But scans have now revealed the bone stress problem.

Apparently the Argus report investigated Australia's injury plague. No doubt the flow-on effect from the remedies suggested by that investigation incorporate a substantial and unquantifiable lag time. (And a punch on the nose for everyone concerned with player fitness.)

FIRST TEST: THE GABBA

Thursday's weather forecast for Brisbane:

A few showers developing, thundery rain this afternoon. Mostly light N to NE winds early, with a fresh to strong S to SE wind change developing.

Precis: Showers, thundery rain.

The weather was similarly pace-friendly in 2008/09 when New Zealand's battery of household names (Tim Southee, Chris Martin, Ian O'Brien and Grant Elliott) ran through Australia on day one of the First Test.

Australia won that Test, courtesy of runs from Michael Clarke (first innings) and Simon Katich (second innings). But Katich is no longer there, while Australia's collapsible batting line-up has gone from bat to worse.

Australia would not want to give New Zealand a sniff; especially since NZ have a better batting line-up than 2008 and Australia's attack is headed buy Peter Siddle and supported by new boys. If, say, Australia bats first and gets rolled cheaply it is perfectly conceivable NZ will be much more difficult to bowl out this time round than three years ago.

(I'm busy today, so is their any chance the cricket can be moved to a more civilized viewing time? 4:00pm to midnight would be perfect, thanks.)

SORE EVERYTHING

Cricket Australia Injury Update: Everyone.

Australia ravaged by injuries as five ruled out of first Test

Australia's preparations for the first Test against New Zealand are in turmoil with five players - Ryan Harris, Mitchell Johnson, Pat Cummins, Shaun Marsh and Shane Watson - all ruled out today.