FIFTH TEST: THE OVAL

Hot on the heels of Steve Harmison kidding himself about Steve Smith and ball tampering, comes Jimmy Anderson kidding himself about pitch doctoring.

"When you go to Australia, go to India, go to Sri Lanka – they prepare pitches that suit them. I feel like we could just be a little bit more biased towards our own team."

"We go to Australia and get pitches that suit them."

"They come over here and get pitches that suit them. It doesn't seem quite right. I think they've probably suited Australia more than us."

Anderson added he "would have liked to have seen a bit more grass but that's the nature of the game here".

"When you're selling out – like Lancashire selling out five days of Test cricket – it's hard not to produce a flat deck."

Coincidentally, I wrote about pitch tampering in the Summer of Kidding Ourselves.

Comments

[Tony Tea]

Oh, and Australia has the momentum. We're cooked.

[2BarRiff]

Given we've retained the Ashes, I fully expect our tourists to go full-on into tourist mode and lose the Test by about 200 runs.

[I am Not Trampis]

sorry Tones but these pitches have been woeful compared to the beauties that were prepared against India.

Last Ashes over there we had three good ones and two flat tracks.
The poms do not learn

I am calling in ASIO as the selection of Mitchell Marsh is a terrorist act against Australian cricket.

[Carrot]

The pitches have been fine. The selection of Marsh, not so much. We have two things to worry about there; one that he does badly, two that he succeeds and gets picked again.

[Carrot]

“Nine times out of ten, if you win the toss, you bat without thinking about it. On the tenth time, you think about it, but bat anyway”. I don’t know who it was that said that, but it rings pretty true for me. And today of all days, in a must-win 5th Test of a packed calendar with bowlers that will be looking forward to a rest.

And Marsh! MARSH!! Nothing good will come of this. We’re doomed.

[Heath]

This test required a couple of changes to the side. Removal of Warner and Harris. Instead we gift this test to England by including Marsh (shows how important his uncle is) and Siddle over starc. Highlights that only one important change is needed and that is remove Hohns, finch for captain and Carey for wicket keeper imo.

[I am Not Trampis]

why did we want to bowl on this flat track?

[Carrot]

16.1 overs, 4 maidens, 4 for 35, conceding 2.15 an over, which is far and away the best for the day. *Sigh*. Now we really ARE doomed - we’ll never see the back of him. Funnily enough, the last time he looked anywhere decent with the ball was in the last tour here in 2015 - he could end up joining Siddle in being an English tour specialist.

We gave England a million and one chances to get away today - we picked arguably the wrong side, it was an odd decision to bowl first and then we dropped their best batsman three times. But all it’s done is shown that they’re just not as good as we are at the moment. I mean Joe Root. You can’t let those sort of opportunities slip, but it just shows how Cummins has owned him lately. I guess that’s the beauty of the five-day game, and five-match series. Quality will always come to the fore, and Cummins is just made of it.

There’s always room for a twist, but if we get 450 on days two and three, this game should be over. And after sending them in, and them being 1/86 a lunch. They should have made us pay, but they just weren’t good enough.

[Smivvys back]

The decision to bowl was to protect our openers, but now its protected MMarsh from being dropped. A calamity. Sounds like we were asleep in the field and still had them 8/220 odd. New ball should clean up today - thats their tail as well as our openers! We now have the shortest batting line up in history. Starts at 3 ends at 4.

[I am Not Trampis]

A few thoughts.
Once again the poms produce a woeful pitch. at least the ball is swinging to combat this somewhat.
This pommy side is sooo weak they struggle to make rums on it and get out to Marsh!!
Root is but a shadow of the p[layer he was the last time we toured when he was smith's superior and his technique was first class.
Smith will score another double ton unless his r luck runs out and he tickles an outswinger or robin Hood gets his finger out and unsettles him like he has twice in the tests.
Buttler appears to be doing a Graeme Wood. Every time we wanted to drop him he would get a score/

I admit to going to sleep early such was the wonderful cricket on show.

The poms should have selected one even two of their 4-5 150k bowlers other than robin Hood of course.

[Tony Tea]

Root, dropped three times, then bowled says to me he's well in the shit. Now he can't even capitalise on three chances.

[I am Not Trampis]

three pretty easy chances at that. He gets bowled by a well pitched up outswuinger far too often.

[Tony Tea]

Certainly two sitters (Siddle & Paine) and a hardy (Smith). When I went to bed the only catch we'd take, Smith tried to drop.

[Carrot]

Unbelievable, David Warner. What a shit shot. It’s a great day for batting, mild weather, good pitch, and you go and do that. He could have got out two or three times before that mindless flap, too. His head is clearly not in the game at the moment.

[Carrot]

Btw, Smivvy - I love that remark about our batting line-up, starts at 3 and ends at 4. Gold. I’m convinced that some of our comments here have been mined and re-used by journalists in the past, and that more than deserves it.

[Carrot]

Thanks, David, Marcus!! At least we can’t fault your consistency....

[I am Not Trampis]

That was a 400 run pitch at a minimum. Our batting was disgraceful. AS bad as the poms.

It is a flat track with a bit if swing and we get out.

[I am Not Trampis]

Funny the pommies have rarely had more than two bowlers bowling well in any match.

Both teams have holes to fill.

[I am Not Trampis]

I have wanted Curran in the pommy team for some time now.

If he bowled more side on he would swing it more. He bowls too front on like the women thus bowls slower than he need and cannot swing as much or as late as he could have either.
He is useful to bat in the tail as well.

That was the coach speaking. moving onto umpiring.

I do not understand how they cam make the mistake of not being able to call no-balls on slow bowlers. Why are they not watching their feet?
giving batsman out when it has pitched outside the off stump.

[Carrot]

Well, we’re toast. But the pitch seems to be playing true, and we’re not TOAST toast - it’s not like we’ll be “chasing” 550. So y’know - there’s probably enough in there to keep tragics like us interested until the final denouement. I just hope for ONCE that our openers justify their selections tomorrow. That way we can hold onto the stupid, hare-brained, completely unrealistic idea of an actual series win for half an hour or so at least.

[I am Not Trampis]

do the poms have the bowlers to get us out again? It is a flat track and usually only two of their bowlers fire.

[Carrot]

Well, that’s that, then. We looked pretty good for awhile and then it all fell in a heap at the end. Oh well. Wade rode his luck, but it’s good to see someone other than Smith get runs for a change. I’m sure Wade won’t last long at 6 or in the team at all, but he deserves another go on the back of that performance and I’m sure his superannuation account won’t mind it either, so good luck to him.

Bit sad that it’s all over, it’s been a great summer of cricket. 2-2 is a terrible reflection of how the teams played, but Paine’s only got himself to blame for that terrible decision to bowl first here on the first day. We didn’t lose, that’s something, and we’ve still got unfinished business here. I like unfinished business, unfinished business is fun, unfinished business is interesting. Even with Archer I can’t see them touching us at home, so it could be that the next English series will have a lot riding on it.

Best, and most competitive Ashes since 2005 in my book, though. It wasn’t always of high quality, but sometimes that’s not such a bad thing. There were some genuinely absorbing and interesting days and matches though, and that’s a far cry better than pretty much anything we’ve seen home or away between these two for awhile. Hope we see more of it in series to come.

Thanks for hosting as ever, Tones; see you all in November for the ‘Stornis, if not before.

[I am Not Trampis]

sorry but I am going to disagree Carrot.
We should have won 3-1.
An ashes battle between a weak team (ours) and a mediocre team ( theirs). They should have only won one match because of Stokes unbelievable innings.
bowing first here was incredibly stupid. Our bowlers were physically and mentally gone from the Old Trafford win.

This test was really what this whole series was about. Woeful pitch, even more woeful batting and inconsistent bowling.
Every batsman that made runs had loads of luck yet of course that will be neglected.

Never mind cricket starts here in a few weeks and i cannot wait to raise the finger.

Thanks as well Tones for hosting this.
It is a real pleasure reading the comments even though they are sometimes wrong 😂😂😂😂😂

I do have trepidations about playing Pakistan and the Kiwis. I suspect double tons will be the order at the MCG and SCG. bomb those wickets please

[Carrot]

Trampis, read what I wrote. “2-2 is a terrible reflection of how the teams played”, i.e it’s not the right score line given how the series unfolded. Yes, we should have won 3-1.

[I am Not Trampis]

Sorry mate I don't agree it was a great summer of cricket. God bowling on most occasions by us not so many times by the poms but woeful batting and so much luck involved in almost all 'good' innings

Best shot the revers sweep for six by Stokes at Headinley
Best ball the late outswing by Cummins to Root bowling wide of the wicket.

Best umpiring decision
Giving Stokes not out at Headingley

Best blog

After grog cricket