FIRST TEST: THE GABBA

The leadup to the First Test has been all about Australia's pace attack and the Gabba's greentop. Well, I just watched the first over where the ball dawdled through to Paine. Can't see too much green, despite KP and Tubby doggedly talking up the pitch. And even though Starc has Cook, the pitch is looking a little 2010/11, which is bad for Australia as we usually bank a Brisbane win to kick off the series.

Comments

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

Be on your best behaviour as I have recommended this place.

I really cannot see the poms getting us out twice!

[Big Ramifications]

Never been more pumped about a series since, I dunno, Gilly retired. I miss all my AGBCricket friends.... Facey has a lot to answer for.

What's the name of your blog Not Trampis? I've checked it out a number of times, but I'll be buggered if I can remember. Google tells me it's either John Quiggan or Clubtroppo, but that don't sound right.

[Nick]

Can't get into the cricket.
Not sure whether the pay kerfuffle contributed.
Maybe it's the unlikability of most the squad.
The first 3 hours hasn't helped.
Any suggestions?

[Nick]

That helped from Cummins. More please

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

How were Dar and Ali allowed in. Aren't they national security threats?

[Tony Tea]

I actually can't be bothered sitting down to watch. I grab scores here and there, look at the dismissals on line and make the odd comment on Twitter. I eben resent the fact that it grabs my emotions for five days. Leave me alone, you bastards.

[Tony Tea]

So true from Hoggy:

“When we’ve been in England we’ve seen a dry wicket at The Oval, a dry wicket at Lords, then we saw two years ago at Edgbaston when they turned out a green top so Jimmy Anderson could try and get some wickets against us, and we turn out this sort of wicket today?"

[Carrot]

Stupid time difference. Tried to go to bed at 9:15 so that I could get up and watch the last session and a half or so. Slept for about FORTY-FIVE MINUTES and then couldn't get back to sleep. Tossed and turned for hours until I realised that the match had started, watched about twenty minutes, went back to bed and set the alarm for 5am. Alarm went off, and it was FREAKIN' RAINING. Swore loudly, went back to bed, slept until 9am at which point I managed to see literally two balls before they went off for bad light. Fiancée thinks it's hilarious.

Wasn't too impressed by what I saw in the conditions from what little a watched, though. Pretty obviously slow deck, bouncers not even getting to head height with the new ball. Isn't the 'Gabba supposed to be the fastest deck in Australia now?

Other thoughts. Late start from Tones with a 1st Test post and thread, and only seven comments after day one of an Ashes Test. Gone are the days where there was a build-up to rival the commercial media, and an absolute feeding frenzy of comments when it all kicked off. Are you trying to wean us onto your Twitter feed or something, Tony? Happy to oblige if so, just let us know where you'd like us to be.

And, last but not least: Trampis. Seriously - who goes onto someone else's blog with literally the first comment of the summer, to say that we have to behave ourselves? Some of us have been yelling incoherent bullshit at each other here for nigh-on fifteen years; leave your overbearing shite at the door where it belongs.

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

Pommy batting was good but too slow. They can still lose whilst if they were 300+ as they should be they would be in a position of probably not losing and possibly winning. I still say they haven't the bowlers in Astrayaa to win.

On pitches I still say we should provide greentops. Fast and bouncy pitches make for the best cricket

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

bloody Hell Carrot,

I have recommended this blog from my highly esteemed blog for people who like to discuss cricket.

They are under the impression you do this whilst washing down caviar with dom whilst also debating the merits of Stephen Hawking's latest tome.

you have shed that and they now know you are a bunch of yobbos probably drinking vic bitter eating smith crisps after having read the daily telegraph no less!!!.

[Tony Tea]

Naa, I'm not trying to send anyone to Twitter. I wish everyone would come here. There are just so many cricket posts now. We are awash with info. And it's all stuff that we've been saying for years. I just feel like I'm repeating myself.

[Tony Tea]

What is German for yobbo?

[The Mongrel]

Do we have a nickname for Malan yet? If not, I suggest Sailor (or Hello Sailor).

"Sailor" Malan ended the war as one of the top-scoring [fighter] aces on the Allied side.

Born in Wellington, South Africa, Adolphus Malan was a man of burly build with an amiable smile that made the men who met him unready for the deep and clinical hatred he had for his German opponents.

Fighter, the True Story of the Battle of Britain
Len Deighton

[The Mongrel]

Also more obviously-
"Anne" Bancroft
"High, Wide and" Handscomb

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

a german in a bad mood is a sauerkraut!

[Tony Tea]

Bancroft could be Mrs Brooks, after her husband Mel.

[The Mongrel]

Jake Ball is a cornucopia of nickname options.

The obvious-
"No" Ball
"Wide" Ball etc

Continuing the theme of RAF fighter aces-
Albert Ball, VC, DSO & Two Bars, MC (14 August 1896 – 7 May 1917) was an English fighter pilot during the First World War. At the time of his death he was the United Kingdom's leading flying ace, with 44 victories.
Wikipedia

In recognition of a fellow Pom currently a guest of Her Majesty-
I'm Jake the Peg, deedle, eedle, eedle, um
With my extra leg, deedle, eedle, eedle, um
----
And also I got popular when came the time for cricket
They used to roll my trousers up and use me for the wicket
Rolf Harris

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

two beards to combine to get rid of an unbearded one.
hmm. does Andrew Bolt know about this?

[Tony Tea]

England have already retained the Ashes.

[Carrot]

You just know that when we talk like shit before the start of the series that the chances are greater that we'll have egg on face. What were we thinking?

[Tony Tea]

The greater the mouthing off, the lesser the performance.

[Carrot]

Absolutely. It's not like Lyon ended up bowling badly of course, but it shows a lack of focus, somehow. It's a distraction, it puts the team under unnecessary pressure, and it just makes you look like a dick, particularly if things don't go your way. What ever happened to quiet focus and professionalism?

[I am and will always be Not Trampis]

It just goes to show everyone you shouldn't be lyon around

[Carrot]

After dodging rain, time differences and dodgy streaming sites that don't work, I'm seeing a lot of the same old problems with this side as with others in recent times. Number one for me at the moment is tempo. Tuned in to see Warner and Smith at the crease, and they looked too eager to score somehow, and a bit frenetic. It looked problematic, and it was. Now we've dropped anchor, and that bothers me just as much. We're either smash and grab, or block and poke.

[Big Ramifications]

Ravey Davey. Great catch.

[Shatard]

Flagrant racism and gross White privilege was the only thing standing between our Usman and a double ton today.

Shame everyone!

[Tony Tea]

The AGB is a safe space. For triggers.

[Shatard]

Wouldn't it be great if ABC Grandstand could get beyond their bi-gendering, ageist, bigotry to include, at the very least, 15 year old cisgendered girls with no interest in cricket whatsoever who could sarcastically declaim at the fall of each ozzie wicket "sad reacts" among other bon mots?

This could be just the start this Wide Brown Land needs to fulfill its true destiny.

[Philsgone]

We should talk up our pace attack 3 hours after we start bowling on a wicket, no 3 days before. If this is the quality of the wickets we are going to see this season, the Poms are a real good chance. The WACA is hopeless, MCG and SCG are dropins. Adelaide may well be the only result pitch in this series. And why the phuck did Starc keep bowling short all the way to the end. What happened to the yorker theory?

[Philsgone]

No coverage of the Womens Ashes Mr Tea? Saw the double hundred, bloody lovely to watch

[Tony Tea]

It wasn't on telly, so it didn't happen.

[Philsgone]

Cant argue with that.

[Shatard]

Smarsh does enough not but once again to keep his mediocre arse in the Test team.

Fuck I hate our selectors.

[Philsgone]

I wonder if smivvy can bat the entire series without losing his wicket? I think in 1989 Steve Waugh was not out until the 3rd test.

[Shatard]

Wow, what a knock by Smith.

[Carrot]

21 centuries from Smith already. There are good players that only managed that many in their entire careers. It’s scary to think how many he could have by the time he’s finished.

Lots of bounce and carry from Starc. Looking forward to seeing how Cummins goes.

And Cook gone! Great catch!!

[Shatard]

Furthermore, Carrot, they showed a stat on the tele of highest captain's batting averages and he's second only to Our Don on 71.

[Carrot]

Two down! This is great stuff....

[Philsgone]

In Australia its probably closer to 80.

[Shatard]

Poms 2/-8

Oz on song!

[Carrot]

Great stuff from Root, Starc and Warner there. You have to admire Root’s attitude in particular. Who smiles and has a bit of a chat after being hit on the melon like that? It’s obvious now that you can snarl and carry on as much as you like, but when someone wears one on the helmet, all bets are off.

[Carrot]

Pay Cummins, what an over....

[Shatard]

What a tops session to end this fantastic day!

[Carrot]

It wasn't bad from PaT Cummins, either.

Reeeeeaaaally enjoyed that bowling session from us. Really good cricket. Interesting that so far, it's been very well-matched, tight stuff and neither side have got away at any stage. Ashes cricket rarely produces tight contests - with the obvious exception being 2005 - but we could be in for a close series here, the way things are going.

[Shatard]

This Test so far has been one of many moods and much mixed emotions.

Really, really hate our selectors and abhor and detest the TV commentary, especially Shane Warne. Haven't listened to any of it, quickly changing to Spotify when the telecast starts.

I think the older I get the more confident I feel in my hate. I kinda feel righteous about it. Furthermore, I don't care should anyone else disagree.

Should never have:

Dropped Renshaw
Reinstated Our Usman
Replaced Wade with Paine
Let alone ever selected Smarsh in the first place.

And finally...bring back SoK!

[Philsgone]

Well done Mr Bancroft

[Hangover Black]

Well done, selectors.

At 4/80 in first dig, glad it wasn't an all-rounder coming to the crease. I wasn't sure they pulled the right rein bring SOS in (again), but looks a masterstroke now.

As for Bancroft, easiest decision in the world given Renshaw's Shield form. Good pick!

[Tony Tea]

Read this?

[The Mongrel]

We just won a Shield game for WA and one of our values is to celebrate success
“Anne” Bancroft

Dear God, is there nowhere the dead hand of desiccated corporate bullsh*t hasn’t rested?

[Carrot]

Well, that was pretty emphatic in the end. Record 1st wicket chase to win a match or something.

I still don't think England are a bad side, and although they were ineffective with both bat and ball in the second innings, it's already clear that they're a much better than this time in 2013. I'd like to see these two sides playing in England - the outcome could be very different. Who then is the better side overall? That's not really that clear.

This looks to me like it could be a bit of an "arm-wrestle" series - as opposed to a "smash and grab" series like 2013/14. We have the weight of the home conditions in our favour, it's clear that that's already made a big difference, we just need to lean on them and they'll slowly subside over the course of the series. That's what England do very well to opponents in their own conditions.

[Tony Tea]

Mongy, in a word: no.

[Tony Tea]

Adelaide next. Pinky Test. Anything could happen. If it turns out CA has dealt England back into the series with charity conditions, it'll be 1-1 and we're back at square one. England will then rush out Stokes.

[Philsgone]

Apparently BS is in NZ; so either the ECB stuffed up his ticket or he is relatively local so that Perth will be his next port of call. Can only assume the plod gave him the OK to escape.

[Carrot]

BS! Love it.

That's just one of the things that doesn't really add up at the moment. The Bairstow situation, apart from being hilarious, is also just.... really weird. I get that things are a BIT sensitive following Bristolgate, but I can't understand how everyone knows that there was absolutely nothing in the Bancroft-Bairstow "incident" and that no one has been sanctioned, and yet the English squad have been "read the riot act", Strauss and the ECB are reportedly furious, curfews, meetings, "players must be smart", press conferences, the works. For nothing! Frankly, I can understand completely what Bairstow did in that bar - it was sort of a more macho version of a hug. It might be a bit weird, but so what? I can't believe that the ECB are being so highly-strung over this. It's almost like they've DECIDED to push the panic button.

And the Stokes thing. That's odd. If he's been cleared to travel and play, surely he should be in Australia. Unless it all really is the worst sleight of hand ever and he's already on the team sheet for Adelaide.