SECOND TEST: CHINNASWAMY STADIUM

At least there's now no question that India are flagrant and shameless pitch doctors. Not that there ever was.

Comments

[m0nty]

Lost the toss. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

[m0nty]

They rewarded the bloke who dropped two catches while subbing in Pune by picking him over an injured Vijay. He'll probably take five catches now.

[m0nty]

They will score 600 on this road.

[m0nty]

Go Koo! Big pole.

[Tony Tea]

absurd how India prepare pitches to suit particular situations. Bring on visiting team chooses and travelling grounds men.

[m0nty]

I reckon getting rid of the toss and automatically giving the visiting team the choice would stop that rot on its own.

[Tony Tea]

That's what I mean by visiting team chooses. That would stop their shenans.

[Patard]

Rahul dropped off SoK on 30. How much will that cost?

[m0nty]

Didn't see it, how tough was it? Sounded tough.

[Patard]

Handscomb stretched to left at silly mid off had one hand on it bounced off palm. Should have been taken.

[Tony Tea]

Tough chance in close. Which will cost a squillion and the BorGav trophy.

[m0nty]

Looks like India is getting all the luck it didn't get in Pune.

[Patard]

That wicket gives the session to Oz. Should have been 3 but still good.

[m0nty]

I was just thinking that wicket making it evens at lunch. Kohli's innings will define the day.

[Patard]

You beauty Lippy! Plumb and will burn the review!

[Patard]

How selfish is e-kohli taking that review when obviously out, and even walks to boundary before judgement given.

[m0nty]

Not so much a brain explosion as a brain Hiroshima.

[Tony Tea]

Another bloody Rahool drop.

[Carrot]

What's with the square? It looks like an indoor field.

[m0nty]

Lippy the destroyer!

[m0nty]

One has to ask, where the flying fvck was this effort in the Lankan series.

[Patard]

A lippy masterclass!

I heard the Indians had grown the wicket square to reduce the rough so the Ozzies couldn't wear the ball on it to get reverse swing, Carrot.

[m0nty]

BLOODY HELL.

[Patard]

Wowee, this is too good to be true. Commentators saying at start of day India should bat for two days.

I guess we'll find out shortly if this is a batsmans' pitch or not.

8 wickets to Lippy, well done. Our spin attack is excellent.

[Big Ramifications]

Did y'all know that "plumb" and "plumbing" and the chemical symbol for lead all come from the same ROOT word?

ps: Lippy did not get 6 for 35.

[Carrot]

Jesus, they're a bunch of dickheads, aren't they? Whatever happened to just preparing conditions that are conducive to good cricket? This sort of blatant bias (if true) is a fucking disgrace and should be run out of the game.

[Tony Tea]

I should drive back from Castlemaine more often. Whenever I do, India folds.

[m0nty]

It's not that bad a pitch. They just put too much bounce in both of them, which suited our offies.

[Carrot]

Sure, sure - I was replying to Pat's remark about the square. It does look like it'll break up later on, this reply is really important, now

[Patard]

One has to ask, where the flying fvck was this effort in the Lankan series.

SoK leaving early injured had a huge impact on the team, imo. Lippy and SoK have been a great spin duo for NSW which naturally would go well in Tests. Nepotism and spite has kept SoK out for so long and the bastards like Warne and Clarke who have kept him out are being shown for the c*nts they are.

[Tony Tea]

Instant has a shocking mincing run up. First time I've seen him side on. Seems to lack fluency. Wonder if it affects his action.

[Tony Tea]

Warnie's criticism of SoK was bizarre. Warnie is a weird piece of work.

[m0nty]

To be fair, Pinko has had one Test where he got insane figures with a lot of luck going his way (and arrogant batsmen overrating him), let's not anoint him as the next coming of Benaud just yet.

[Tony Tea]

India 5 for 15. They are becoming as lemming-like as Australia.

[Tony Tea]

Pinky can't rip it like Lippy, but Pinky is Maysie to Lippy's Warnie.

Sort of.

Kind of.

[Patard]

No one is sainting SoK, his stats have been there for all to see his entire career, and he's been vindicated for Test selection already. None of it relied on luck.

You are notoriously not fair, m0nt, but at least in your case you have no say in Test selections so it doesn't matter.

[Big Ramifications]

Tim May.

*shudders*

[m0nty]

As my racist grandfather used to say: Yeah it's not fair, but then again neither's a blackfella.

[Patard]

Pity your grandfather didn't pass on any of his intelligence to his gandchildren

[Tony Tea]

SoK's Shield record warranted national selection, but he kept getting injured. But what happened to his alleged reputation as a shit bloke. There was the odd Hodge-like whisper. Is he a non shit bloke, after all?

[Tony Tea]

India pulling out some heavyweight fake DRS debates. The new sledging.

[Patard]

Pitch report here Carrot: India guarding against Australia's reverse swing threat with Bangalore pitch

Mitchell Starc had said he was expecting at least a couple of semi-prepared pitches but the visitors were instead greeted by one of the greenest squares and outfields an Australian cricketer will see in this part of the world. With no abrasive surface to rough the ball, reverse swing is also unlikely to play a major factor.

Here's a good article on Shield averages and ages, m0nt, though it's based on stats and not blind prejudice so you probably won't find it of any value, except for the Vics named: Young Aussie batsmen flourishing in Sheffield Shield Still, one must keep chucking mud at the wall hoping some it might stick.

[Patard]

But what happened to his alleged reputation as a shit bloke.

You alleged that, maybe you should name your sources. Maybe it was Michael Beer?

Mate of Warneys isn't he? Maybe the blokes who reckon he's a dickhead are the dickheads? Certainly Steve Smith, Lippy, Warner and the rest of the Test team like him. Clarke didn't though. Clarke is a good mate of Warneys isn't he?

Btw, he wasn't injured when Doherty was selected as SoK dominated Shield averages, 2013 I think. The injury thing is just the latest excuse.

[Patard]

On the stats thing, Maddinson should never have been selected as he doesn't average 40 and at the time was out of form. That was never going to work.

Patterson easily was ahead of him or some of the other blokes on the list above. One thing we do now know is that Maddinson's selection wasn't due to NSW bias as is often stupidly claimed (see career of SoK).

My simple hope is that the selectors stick with statistical benchmarks as they've done with the current squad (a few exceptions here and there no doubt for squad unity. Wade for instance obviously brings energy to the team and his keeping has vastly improved - bad luck Nevill).

[Tony Tea]

A journalist, a blogger, a dickhead with a keyboard doesn't reveal his sources.

[Carrot]

If we did that sort of thing, we'd turn all our pitches into trampolines and every touring side would lose 4 or 5-nude (not that that's unheard of anyway, mind you). Frankly, it takes a bit of the gloss off any side (and particularly a subcontinental side) doing well against us when they tour, and makes our achievements look greater in reverse series. They have the opportunity to do well when we prepare even conditions. We're all too often in unfamiliar territory AND facing pitches (and in this case, squares) that are specifically designed to disadvantage us. It's not as though it only happens in the subcontinent, either - England are shocking for it, too.

[Tony Tea]

We don't fix pitches and still get accusations that we do. Imagine the massive rumpus if we really did fix pitches. It would be Wilde Dawgs all over.

[Patard]

A journalist, a blogger, a dickhead with a keyboard doesn't reveal his sources.

Lol, nice one, Tones.

[Patard]

Brilliant day to Oz.

[Tony Tea]

That's about as good a first day as we could have hoped for. Absolute gold.

[Patard]

On the SoK being a shit bloke front Mitch Johnson, Katich, Ed Cowan, Magilla, Kerry O'Keefe, Jason Gillespie and many many others have all come out publicly delighted for SoK in Pune. For a shit bloke he keeps top company.

SoK's response to Warne's unrelenting public vitriol and humiliation is an insight into the quality of the bloke:

"“Shane’s a massive idol of mine and when he speaks I listen. There’s probably not too much I can take out of what he said but he’s entitled to his opinion and I’ll just keep working on what I can do and for me it’s the sort of rhetoric I’ve been hearing for 10 years,” O’Keefe told The Daily Telegraph in the lead-up to his home Test in Sydney on Tuesday.

“Not enough bounce, not enough spin … for me it’s about going out there and taking wickets and proving to myself that what I can do is good enough to play at that standard.

“Obviously you’d love the legend backing you a bit but that’s OK. He’s a role model of mine growing up and any feedback he’s got for me I’d take on board."

SoK hasn't been involved in any betting scandals, performance enhancing drug scandals or charity scandals.

[Tony Tea]

"SoK hasn't been involved in any betting scandals, performance enhancing drug scandals or charity scandals."

Is than an admission by omission that SoK has had a threesome with Pommy hookers?

[Philsgone]

Lets look at the stats. What was Warneys average and wicket total in India? He is being hoisted on this own patard by his comments re SOK. Also current teams bowlerrs are all playing for NSW. Why isnt someone whinging about this? Because they are taking wickets conmes the stern reply. MMarsh is not a bowler by the way. No overs in first test, 2 in this one. Remind me why an allrounder is selected again.

[Tony Tea]

The pitch looks like it will be hard to score fluently on. Today will be crucial. We need to go big or else we will be cactus batting last on a pitch falling apart. Good start, very good start, but the job is a million miles from being done.

[Patard]

Nil satis nisi optimum

[Patard]

One of the most noticable traits of the Oz Test team resurgence is the unorthodoxy of its individual talent.

The OCD mannerisms of Steve Smith, the strangely inverted periscope of Handscomb, the constant near misses of Renshaw, the instinctive game of Warner to go for a hundred in a session on any pitch anywhere.

A keeper who can't keep, an allrounder who can't bat, a spinner who can't spin.

A plodder at 2nd drop constantly resurrected without ever showing anything different or promising from his constant average of <40.

And in the #1 quick of Starc, universally feared, we have a bloke with a monkey on his back named Warne who once derided him as "soft" and now claims credit for everything Starc has since produced.

It's a perverse old world out there. Here's to unorthodoxy.

[Patard]

Meant to write "an allrounder who can't bat and isn't given a bowl".

[Patard]

Also meant "obliquely inclined periscope" not inverse.

[m0nty]

Shit bloke factor is a plus in the Australian cricket team. This has been proven time and again, and having Mark Waugh as a selector is a big indicator. No wonder Vics don't tend to do well at selection, they just haven't got enough SBF. Apart from Wade, he seems to fit right in.

[Philsgone]

if we grind out today, maybe 180 runs, lose a couple of wickets, then the game is ours. Our target, though tough, is to bat once

[Patard]

Phew, what a session. Oz only lose two wickets for 33 odd runs, which is a blessed number but dug in for the duration, may likewise resolve be plentiful to come.

[Patard]

Now is time for the underrated to stand up, dig in and put up a redoubt, outflanking the enemy to left and right with a subtle inflex of this weak centre to urge them through as we push out to surround them and smash their heads in from every side.

[Tony Tea]

Then we better change "Bengaluru" to "Cannae".

[Tony Tea]

~ Nil satis nisi optimum.

~ Nothing is enough except the best.

I don't mind that Latin dumps its articles (the), but it's always grated on me that Latin mottos omit its variations of "to be". Bloody Romans.

[m0nty]

Instant is pulling faces like an All Black doing the haka. Not quite as scary.

[Philsgone]

Problem is Patard,that SMarsh, MMarsh and Wade are overrated

[m0nty]

56.5 Yadav to SE Marsh, no run, unplayable. This has hit a crack and gone the other away, against the angle. From short of a length, it jags away. Beats him by a week. Half a shout for catch, but they don't review. Rightly so

Hmm.

[m0nty]

Hah, turns out that one hit the thumb and they didn't review. Losers.

[m0nty]

Renshaw has shown admirable sphincter control in this innings.

[Patard]

Heil Renshaw!

[Patard]

This is like a reverse Kursk. "We have severely underestimated the Australians, the extent of the country and the treachery of our pitches. This is the revenge of our doctoring."

[m0nty]

Are we losing wickets in Clarke Time again? Yes, yes we are.

[Carrot]

Hi Mitch! Oh - such a shame you couldn't stay longer.

[Patard]

Correction: This is like Kursk (thanks Mitch, thanks selectors).

Does Warney have any other mates averaging low twenties we can chuck in to pretend all-rounder role?

[Patard]

The eschatology of our selectors is hard to fathom within our logos. One must turn to sex-magick, ritual sacrifice and the entrails of a freshly killed goose to divinate their conjuring.

[Tony Tea]

India for the win. Lock. It. In.

[m0nty]

Geez it would be handy sometimes if our number six wasn't a complete fvcken waste of space.

[Carrot]

Smarsh thought he was dead and buried there - and so did I.

[m0nty]

At least we'll get four result pitches. Unless we go 2-1 down.

[m0nty]

Another complete waste of DRS by e-Kohli.

[m0nty]

Well played Quaggy.

[Carrot]

Well played, Quaggy. Justified his selection. Potentially a series-deciding knock.

[Patard]

Should Quaggy stand undefeated at stumps then, and only then, will I salute him

[Carrot]

It's only to be expected that India are rubbish with reviews. We were terrible for a long while too, and they've barely used it before on account of being obnoxious knobflautists.

[Tony Tea]

One of the more fascinating days of the flannelled caper. More please.

[Patard]

Good knock by Smarsh. Have to hand it to him but at the same time feel we've just saddled ourselves with an albatross.

[Carrot]

Right on, Tones. This has been great stuff.

Interesting that we're showing much more middle and middle-to-late-order resilience in this series so far. Lately we've struggled whenever our top order haven't got runs, because 6,7 and 8 could be pretty consistently relied upon for bugger all. So far, 6 has yielded next to nothing (why is he there? Why?? Which selector does he have incriminating information on? *Sobs*), but 7 and 8 have done really well - this partnership between Wade and Starc has already been handy, for example. Meanwhile, India have yet to bat for anything approaching a full day in the series so far, and we're three from three on difficult pitches.

[Lou]

We got Renshaw, we got Renshaw, Matthew Renshaw the greatest of them all...

He's made such a difference to this team, I don't know what to do with meself. Let's hope that Warner starts using his brain or that kid is going to keep showing the FTB up for what he is.

So anyway, this pitch is a bit of a stinker and the batsmen have played such un-australian cricket, it's heartwarming. What is Lehmann telling them? He can't be telling them to take the game to the bowlers as they are leaving the ball so successfully and happily.

And well-played Shaun Marsh and bloody hell, Mitch Marsh got a horrible ball. But then he probably wasn't likely to last long so at least it's him that got that ball.

[Philsgone]

Smarsh was always going to get one decent dig. He does in every series. But now that he has got it, he can be left out. Thats the skill of good selection. Once you know a bloke only gets one score per series, drop him and save the future low score angst

[Carrot]

Why all the hate for Quaggy? He's by no means a bad player. Routinely mis-treated by the selectors, and yet capable of quality innings and big scores. It's his brother that we should be worrying about.

[Patard]

Jarrod Kimber is a vastly different writer to what I remember him and has been churning out some top notch articles for Cricinfo.

Shaun Marsh and Renshaw fashion vital lead for Australia

This paragraph gets to the nub of the Question:

Shaun Marsh might be forging a career for himself as a specialist batsman in Asia. He is not very good against seam but is brilliant against spin. He is not particularly good at home, he is worse than that in most places, but in Asia, he averages almost 60. There are many who don't think he is good at all, but he is tasty in Asia.

[Philsgone]

Fair point. How does a bloke bought up at the WACA maange to average 60 in such alien environs?

[m0nty]

Would be nice to wrap this up today, given forecast of thunderstorms on days 4 and 5.

[m0nty]

Koo out with the lead at 80. Come on tail.

[Tony Tea]

Tail 'em up!!

[Tony Tea]

"Would be nice to wrap this up today, given forecast of thunderstorms on days 4 and 5."

If we get rolled before lunch, and India is batting at stumps, we might need those thunderstorms to bail us out. Remember, we won the BoGa in 2004 on the back of a washed out day 5 in the second Test.

[m0nty]

Oh well, all out with a lead of 87. So much for the tail.

[Tony Tea]

What's the bet last night someone got stuck into E-Kohli about not bowling Jadeja enough.

[m0nty]

If they didn't last night, they certainly will today.

[Philsgone]

87 lead. Any other number and I would be happy.