This is the sort of partnership we've owed Engand since 10/11. Not much smash-and-grab, low-risk, steady accumulation. Funny that I should say that when the run-rate is still well north of 3.5 an over, but there we are.
The Pup follows EPL and he tells me that Chelsea are famous for getting 1-0 up early in the game and then "parking the bus" - putting all their team into defence.
Parking the bus does not fit with the Australian sporting ethos. Not least because it cedes the initiative to the opposition. And gives the advantage to the team that wins the toss.
Serves England right if they get done over in this Test. Depends on the weather probably. Anyone got a forecast?
Chelsea & England is a good comparison. Get ahead then shut up shop. If it was possible, England would have called off the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th Tests.
17 comments at the end of day 1. Is it just me or is there a severe lack of interest with this series? Too much of an ordinary thing perhaps. If the pitches stay like this, the poms will win 1-0 and we should start playing the Ashes against the kiwis.
Philsgone, you've said similar things a couple of times. I don't think it's a lack of interest, I think it's a mixture of the fact that we're doing well - always a precursor for fewer comments, we like to complain on the AGB, we does - and the time zone.
Atherton made a remark last night that he thought that if Australia could get up to the 600 mark that we could really unleash Johnson, and give him license to scare people. That would be interesting to see - is this pitch any more dead than Adelaide '13?
I guess it's a bit of the old cricketing superstition Phil, where you don't move from your seat while a batsman is approaching a century or a record - likewise we don't say good things about our team while they're playing for fear of the mozz.
I thought England bowled poorly in patches. Wood was very ordinary all day, spent some time hurling it in the direction of the slips.
If that was the Aussie bowling with the new ball, scorn would have been heaped from all parts from a great height.
The wicket isn't giving them much, but considering how all of them were down on speed, they were hardly bending their backs.
Broad was the best but he had very wayward patches.
Warner is a goose. His ego got right in the way. My heart sunk when I saw him bat like that as I thought they were all going to chase Ali in a really stupid way but Steve Smith put away dumb strokes and he and Rogers played safe; along the ground, not in the air!
I went to bed at tea time quite happy and was even happier once I saw the result this morning. 1/300-odd is a return to days of (not so) old domination.
Of course, we'll declare for lots at lunch and then England will be 0-200 at stumps ...
There's definitely a bit of mozz at work when we are batting well. You don't want to take any Aussie wickets. But Also the timezone does not help, as Carrot mentioned. Chuck in a bit of Ashes overkill. Sport overkill in general. The family man in me wants to do the righty too. Not the done thing to watch cricket all night. And yes, I love a good whinge when we are going bad.
Andrew Symonds @Drunk_As_Roy 4m4 minutes ago
Nothing more English then this bowling partnership. A ginger Kiwi and a bearded Paki giving their all for their country! #Ashes @ECB_cricket
I wanted to write "Mitchell Johnson: Lord's - redemption". But two wickets does not complete redemption make, so I'll say "Mitchell Johnson: Lord's - redemption?" instead, and leave it open to see what happens tomorrow. They put the fucking frighteners amongst the English last night though, it was wonderful to behold. There was a time when it seemed like any delivery could send back not one but two or three of them. All three of our quicks made an impression, both on the scoreboard and psychologically, and it couldn't have been a better start to the English innings if we tried. They might end up passing the follow-on without losing another wicket tomorrow, but there's no question that our bowlers have left their mark on this series. After less than one full session of England batting, the selection question-marks are all England's and none of them Australian, too. Can't wait for tomorrow.
It was apparent when Australia was batting on the second day that the pitch had picked up a yard. Only Broad was able to exploit it, though. Anderson was pedestrian. Wood was even slower than pedestrian, and maybe should bowl with a little orange flag in his hat.
TT has been railing about England doctoring the pitches, but it seems to me that the extent of their doctoring is to make the toss ridiculously important because batting first is such a large advantage, and that they are trying to even the odds by making the series a literal coin-flip.
Also, it was pointed out somewhere that Clarke called heads in this test after a career of calling tails... so maybe they had funny weighted coins, and Lemming got wind of it and knew it was going to be heads?
Can any AGBers help me with a question. Ever since Ian Healy's shock selection to the Test squad back in 1988, I've had: "Ian Healey, 3rd string QLD wicket-keeper" seared into my brain.
Before Healy was selected, his team mate Peter Anderson was a shoo in for the gig as the next Australian gloveman. That is until that drunken buffoon Ian Botham, playing Sheffield Shield for QLD, destroyed his career in Perth. Asking Anderson to stand up to the stumps for a session of his bowling, Botham sent thru a fast zinger and he got a pretty bad finger injury.... at THE worst possible time.
If Healy was 3rd string wicket-keeper, I can't think of the name of the other supposed QLD wicket-keeper. So that's my question. Can anyone come up with a name? It was pre-internet browser era so Googling bears little fruit.
At this stage I'm thinking I've remembered it wrong.
Cheers. The very few references I've found all say that. Plus, you'd think Healy's 6 Sheffield Shield games would be a lot of caps for a 2nd reserve. Therefore I think I'm wrong.
It's just that I vividly recall thinking along the lines of "Wow, 3rd string 'keeper. Lucky man".
Maureen has the brusque, dusky aloof disdain that combines so well in it's otherishness. It's like watching Heathcliffe and Cathy playing cricket on a sunny moor.
Maureen's beard angers me. I can't quite put my finger on what it is *exactly* that gives me the irits about it but by God it annoys me.
Same here! For mine, I think it's the fact he's got a FULL Ned Kelly style beard.... but in reality it's merely a wispy imposter. I wonder if any Aussies have been tempted to sledge him about it. Why the hell not? It looks ridiculous, sticking out and fluttering around under his grille.
Er.... OK, I'll answer my own question. The Aussies would be too scared to because of the likely ramifications. Moeen has an invisible friend in the sky, and he told him to grow that beard. And his invisible friend in the sky is NOT the big boss of the Christian faith.
Therefore xenophobia and bigotry and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
I've been really impressed by Ponting's commentary and general input on Sky Sports, and have been surprised a little by the fact that he seems to be a really nice, easy-going guy. He seems to be someone that is pretty at peace with his world, which is not always something you get from ex-sporties behind microphones. A lot of ex-sportsmen are like politicians - they're motivated by power and/or competitiveness and ruthless thirst for success, and when they run out steam they go into retirement angry and bitter that the dream didn't go on as long as it should have. There are good examples of that sitting right next to Ponting in the same com box; it took literally decades for Botham to calm down for instance, and Hussain was angry and one-eyed for years after he took up commentary. Boycott is another good example, and even though Australians of the likes of Taylor, Warne and Healy didn't ever come across as bitter and twisted, they're definitely playing to the gallery and are not really genuine, which is probably why they piss us off so much. Ponting seems to be completely different, completely genuine, and dare I say it, a completely likeable guy in a way that is usually pretty hard to fake.
Ponting got big wraps for his commentary in the BBL, so it is no surprise that Sky have picked him up. Unfortunately we've been saddled with Nine's mob and don't get Sky on Foxtel. I hope Nine does not make a habit of sending their plonkers on assignment. Even if the overseas networks and commentators are rubbish, a change is as good as a holiday.
The $64,000 questions are-
* How long will it take to bowl England out on this road and
* What's the weather going to do?
Weather wise it looks like early rain on the fourth day, supposedly clearing. Contrast to St Andrews where the golf has been extended to Monday due to wild weather.
I read last night that apparently only five teams have successfully batted out a draw when given five sessions to save a game. The weight of statisitcs say that England should be toast. This *is* a road though, and Clarke might even want a bit more on the board than 500, so might bat a little more into the afternoon session depending on how much we get this morning. Any sort of damage with the new ball and we're pretty much home though, you'd think.
Botham just made the point that Smith is hitting the ball as though he hadn't left the crease following his double-hundred, and it's true. Is he in really, really good form at the moment, or is he just really, really good? I don't think anyone would have thought that a guy that bats the way he does could be averaging nearly 60 only 30 Tests into his career. The thing is that he's only 26 - players that enjoy this sort of form are usually "mature" players, over 30, a la Clarke a few years ago, but Smith is still relatively new to the game.
Smith's currently (33*) 99 runs short of 3000 runs in his 58th innings. The list of those who got there in less than 60 innings isn't too bad....
Bradman, Weeks, Sutcliff, Lara, Harvey, Richards, Sobers, Sehwag, Walcott, Compton, Hobbs.
Hopefully he can keep up with that lot for his whole career
Incredible turn-around. England were never going to win, but you wouldn't have backed us to bowl them out for 101! There's clearly still a lot of fear for Johnson, and with scoreboard pressure he was all over them. Fantastic performance from him, really - an absolute nothing wicket, worse than Adelaide 2013 as we said, and he still bowled us to victory even though the scorecard will show that the wickets were shared around.
The equivalent English cricket blogs must be very, very dark places right now - they were awful. At no point were they ever in the match.
Mitch Marsh is a good addition to this attack. Bright lad.
Mitch Johnson could have taken another five wickets easily. Jeez, he bowled well this match. Wish the eejits could catch though. That will lose us another match if they keep that shit up.
I think Ben Stokes has cricket's version of the Darwin award sewn up for this series. Terrified of Johnson even when he's fielding at mid-on. It was a great throw.
Carrot,it's exactly what I've been thinking about Punter. You can't fake that humility and lack of bitterness. Also, he's done sterling work on the Third Man desk at Sky. Obvious love for the game and enjoys talking about the ins and outs of batting..
He's be hopeless on Nine as he wants to watch and talk about the game that is on in front of him. I've found Warne even more of a prat in contrast.
Jonathan Agnew has stuck up for Punter on TMS. He has always spoken warmly about him and his affability. But then I think he likes Aussies very much.
John Inverarity spoke about Punter in the highest possible terms while he was selector.
Yes, it's a funny thing about Ponting. I think we all probably had the idea from his on-field demeanour that he was a bit of a prick, but he really does seem like a nice guy with a good sense of humour, and actually no small amount of class. He's obviously a real student of the game too which is perfect for good quality commentary, and he complements the other people in the Sky box. Mike Hussey is another that holds him in high regard, apparently he wrote about it in his autobiography. When I heard that I thought he was giving him a bit of a Justin Langer-esque herogram and it probably didn't have much basis in the truth, but I can see where it comes from now.
I find Warne pretty good on Sky. Can't stand him on Nine.
The equivalent English cricket blogs must be very, very dark places right now
Carrot, dismal is in the eye of the beholder. I find them delightful.
I still have the BBC and Guardian Ashes page in my bookmarks from last series. There's something about the Left of politics that just does despair so much better than the Right, who tend to bluster through.
"Pastel shades"? Is the Guardian calling English cricket gay? Or at least metrosexual. The first par sounds like a review of a Degas painting. Taking the Pisarro.
Guardian journos are too enamoured with the sound of their own clacking keys. Combine that with cricket journos' predilection for flowery circumloquacity, and you get some strongly purple shades in their writing.
As for the cricket, would need to see a full replay to be sure, but it was very pleasing to see Johnson get wicked swing, because that means he's bowling properly to add to the aggression that he has regained post-Hughes.
On a day of ephemeral passing cloud and ephemeral passing English batsmen Lord’s had one of its emerald-green days, the sun winking in and out, drawing its shadow down across the grass like a watercolour wash.
The most disappointing thing about the first test, apart from our performance, is declining the invite to have a beer with the poms. This was weak on Clark's behal;f. We were outplayed so let them enjoy it. We flogged them at Lords, so send the invite and hope they come. I hope they did. There is a better spirit in these games, or so it appears. Cook checking on Buck when he went down. Good Mitch hitting Broad with a throw then putting his arm up. Tough, hard yet not all the mean spirit. We play better in that mood, and I think it suits us.
Also best team bowling for a good while, wickets shared, pressure all the time from both ends, great effort. And no sign of niggles, another key aspect of success
As for the Guardian, I can see where Spanky Roebuck learned his writing style. England are described as "invertebrate." I think that means "spineless." Never use two syllables when three will do.
Ha ha, Tones - no! I thoroughly enjoyed this Test. Redemption all round - for Cardiff, for Lord's after 2005 and 2009, and for Johnson who completely lost it last time he was there.
Hope Rogers recovers ok, though. I have suffered dizzy spells myself when playing sport. It's a helluva disconcerting thing! For me it's usually dehydration, although you'd think Rogers would have that covered.
“The England captain says that this pitch was not made especially slow to negate Mitchell Johnson and Mitchell Starc. Privately, we have information to the contrary. The request might not have come from Cook himself; I believe it came from higher up … England are so worried about the Australian fast bowlers that we have made our own pair innocuous.
“If you ask for slow pitches to tame the Aussie fast bowlers, then you are immediately betraying your own insecurities about facing them. It is contradictory, and belies all England’s talk about playing positive, attacking cricket. England signalled their fear of Australia’s pace attack.”
Greaat, Bell to 3, no form out early. Root to 4 upsets his batting at 5 level of perfoermance. More pressur eon cook. I reckon Bell could be ringing for the last time in this test. For whom the Bell tolls, etc etc
Whew, it's been a long fortnight of international travel and I'm exhausted.
First I was in France to orchestrate the urine throwing, spitting and punching against Team Sky, then made an across the world trip to Perth to coordinate sustained booing of Goodes; this week I'll be at Edgbaston to stir up some trouble between Davey Boy and the Rooter.
In between time I was able to get Quade Cooper to lose it on twitter, and still had a bit of spare time up my sleeve to get out to Blacktown and fire up the Fifita twins. Go the Lower Mountains Eagles!
What with Parra and Panthers getting slaughtered each weekend it's the least I can do. Idle hands are the devil's workshop and all that. Any tips on what to do next would be gladly welcomed.
Anderson to Rodgers. I just watched my first live ball of this series.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, July 16, 2015 at 08:00 PM
re: Rogers' SLASH thru the slips cordon. Joe Root didn't wanna know about it. WTF?
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, July 16, 2015 at 08:02 PM
Anderson using the full pitch.
Posted by: Nick | Thursday, July 16, 2015 at 08:11 PM
Warne FFS!!!!
Posted by: 2BarRiff | Thursday, July 16, 2015 at 09:12 PM
Shades of 1 for 430 at Headingly 26 years ago?
[Australia 1 for 238 as I type. Rogers 97, Smith just smashed a six to move to 93.]
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 01:36 AM
With both players currently on 103 not out....
Rogers last 9 innings: 595 runs @ 74.38 [7 × 50s, 1 × 100s]
Smith last 16 innings: 1318 runs @ 119.82 [4 × 50s, 6 × 100s]
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 01:56 AM
This is the sort of partnership we've owed Engand since 10/11. Not much smash-and-grab, low-risk, steady accumulation. Funny that I should say that when the run-rate is still well north of 3.5 an over, but there we are.
Posted by: Carrot | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 02:52 AM
Almost stumps, and they've put on over 100 runs since I mozzed them up there^^.
[Australia 1 for 333 as I type. Rogers 155, Smith 129.]
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 03:05 AM
Bloody hell. How's my maths?
They've put on almost 100 runs since I mozzed them up there^^.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 03:08 AM
Aaand thankfully remain un-mozzed at stumps.
1 for 337.
Rogers kept it interesting right until the 3rd last ball of the day with a nick that fell just short of first slip, and going for 2 runs to boot!
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 03:24 AM
Reasonable day at the office. Now we've just got to bowl them out twice.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 07:35 AM
and on this wicket, Lippy will hav eto do the damage agains tall their left handers. I reckon he can.
Posted by: philsgone | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 08:41 AM
Indeed. If we had Warne and McGrath we'd already have this Test in the bag., but now it's time for the current attack to earn its stripes.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 08:52 AM
The track offered little hope, a complete contrast with surface prepared for Lord’s Test against New Zealand."
Which was always going to happen if England, cricket's most flagrant pitch doctor, led the series. The ECB: the New York Yacht Club of cricket.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 09:23 AM
The Pup follows EPL and he tells me that Chelsea are famous for getting 1-0 up early in the game and then "parking the bus" - putting all their team into defence.
Parking the bus does not fit with the Australian sporting ethos. Not least because it cedes the initiative to the opposition. And gives the advantage to the team that wins the toss.
Serves England right if they get done over in this Test. Depends on the weather probably. Anyone got a forecast?
Posted by: The Mongrel | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 09:55 AM
That's a bit like saying "If we had ham we could have ham and eggs. If we also had eggs."
Posted by: The Mongrel | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 09:57 AM
Chelsea & England is a good comparison. Get ahead then shut up shop. If it was possible, England would have called off the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th Tests.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 09:58 AM
17 comments at the end of day 1. Is it just me or is there a severe lack of interest with this series? Too much of an ordinary thing perhaps. If the pitches stay like this, the poms will win 1-0 and we should start playing the Ashes against the kiwis.
Posted by: philsgone | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 03:58 PM
Philsgone, you've said similar things a couple of times. I don't think it's a lack of interest, I think it's a mixture of the fact that we're doing well - always a precursor for fewer comments, we like to complain on the AGB, we does - and the time zone.
Atherton made a remark last night that he thought that if Australia could get up to the 600 mark that we could really unleash Johnson, and give him license to scare people. That would be interesting to see - is this pitch any more dead than Adelaide '13?
Posted by: Carrot | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 04:06 PM
I guess it's a bit of the old cricketing superstition Phil, where you don't move from your seat while a batsman is approaching a century or a record - likewise we don't say good things about our team while they're playing for fear of the mozz.
Posted by: Vindicate | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 04:15 PM
I thought England bowled poorly in patches. Wood was very ordinary all day, spent some time hurling it in the direction of the slips.
If that was the Aussie bowling with the new ball, scorn would have been heaped from all parts from a great height.
The wicket isn't giving them much, but considering how all of them were down on speed, they were hardly bending their backs.
Broad was the best but he had very wayward patches.
Warner is a goose. His ego got right in the way. My heart sunk when I saw him bat like that as I thought they were all going to chase Ali in a really stupid way but Steve Smith put away dumb strokes and he and Rogers played safe; along the ground, not in the air!
Very nice to see.
Posted by: lou | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 04:41 PM
I went to bed at tea time quite happy and was even happier once I saw the result this morning. 1/300-odd is a return to days of (not so) old domination.
Of course, we'll declare for lots at lunch and then England will be 0-200 at stumps ...
Posted by: 2BarRiff | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 05:03 PM
We lost 6 wickets for 50 runs in Cardiff, let's not count our chickens n all that....
Posted by: Vindicate | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 06:06 PM
There's definitely a bit of mozz at work when we are batting well. You don't want to take any Aussie wickets. But Also the timezone does not help, as Carrot mentioned. Chuck in a bit of Ashes overkill. Sport overkill in general. The family man in me wants to do the righty too. Not the done thing to watch cricket all night. And yes, I love a good whinge when we are going bad.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 07:05 PM
Ashes is entering overkill territory. Golden goose and all that.
Posted by: lou | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 07:44 PM
Can't help thinking that, while the pitch is slow, the English bowlers have been spraying it around a bit and have contributed to their own troubles.
Aaaaaand Rogers gets bowled.
Posted by: 2BarRiff | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 08:26 PM
Could Clarke have batted any worse?
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 09:18 PM
Sideshow Roy:
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 09:43 PM
My first session watched in the series, now that it's on the main channel which I actually get. And of course Vogon is out almost immediately.
Come on Second Son of Swamp, don't be a stick in the mud.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 10:48 PM
Ah bloody hell, out to a grubber. I'm going to bed again.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 11:02 PM
'umpires Call' seems to be favouring Aust this Test.
Posted by: 2BarRiff | Friday, July 17, 2015 at 11:42 PM
So much for a dead pitch.
Posted by: Yobbo | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 02:14 AM
I wanted to write "Mitchell Johnson: Lord's - redemption". But two wickets does not complete redemption make, so I'll say "Mitchell Johnson: Lord's - redemption?" instead, and leave it open to see what happens tomorrow. They put the fucking frighteners amongst the English last night though, it was wonderful to behold. There was a time when it seemed like any delivery could send back not one but two or three of them. All three of our quicks made an impression, both on the scoreboard and psychologically, and it couldn't have been a better start to the English innings if we tried. They might end up passing the follow-on without losing another wicket tomorrow, but there's no question that our bowlers have left their mark on this series. After less than one full session of England batting, the selection question-marks are all England's and none of them Australian, too. Can't wait for tomorrow.
Posted by: Carrot | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:19 AM
It was apparent when Australia was batting on the second day that the pitch had picked up a yard. Only Broad was able to exploit it, though. Anderson was pedestrian. Wood was even slower than pedestrian, and maybe should bowl with a little orange flag in his hat.
Ballance looks shit scared.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:48 AM
TT has been railing about England doctoring the pitches, but it seems to me that the extent of their doctoring is to make the toss ridiculously important because batting first is such a large advantage, and that they are trying to even the odds by making the series a literal coin-flip.
Posted by: m0nty | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 01:04 PM
Also, it was pointed out somewhere that Clarke called heads in this test after a career of calling tails... so maybe they had funny weighted coins, and Lemming got wind of it and knew it was going to be heads?
Posted by: m0nty | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 01:05 PM
Yep. And yep.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 01:38 PM
Can any AGBers help me with a question. Ever since Ian Healy's shock selection to the Test squad back in 1988, I've had: "Ian Healey, 3rd string QLD wicket-keeper" seared into my brain.
Before Healy was selected, his team mate Peter Anderson was a shoo in for the gig as the next Australian gloveman. That is until that drunken buffoon Ian Botham, playing Sheffield Shield for QLD, destroyed his career in Perth. Asking Anderson to stand up to the stumps for a session of his bowling, Botham sent thru a fast zinger and he got a pretty bad finger injury.... at THE worst possible time.
If Healy was 3rd string wicket-keeper, I can't think of the name of the other supposed QLD wicket-keeper. So that's my question. Can anyone come up with a name? It was pre-internet browser era so Googling bears little fruit.
At this stage I'm thinking I've remembered it wrong.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 02:09 PM
I thought Healy was 2nd string to Anderson, not 3rd.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 02:29 PM
Cheers. The very few references I've found all say that. Plus, you'd think Healy's 6 Sheffield Shield games would be a lot of caps for a 2nd reserve. Therefore I think I'm wrong.
It's just that I vividly recall thinking along the lines of "Wow, 3rd string 'keeper. Lucky man".
It seems a strange thing to mis-remember.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 08:51 PM
Good decision, third ump. No catch.
Posted by: m0nty | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 10:58 PM
LIPPY!
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:21 PM
Hawthorn and Storm were fairly lucky this weekend to get the win but their long lost son in Nevill has learned how to win by going Blue.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:23 PM
Maureen is the most unwholesome looking Pom I've ever had the displeasure of having to look upon.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:25 PM
LOL at Dharmasena. Shake shake nod nod nod.
Posted by: m0nty | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:26 PM
Cook has that blushing coquettish look of Lady Diana and the rosy, high cheeks to go with.
He's quite the alluring damsel, I must admit.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:38 PM
Maureen has the brusque, dusky aloof disdain that combines so well in it's otherishness. It's like watching Heathcliffe and Cathy playing cricket on a sunny moor.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:40 PM
Hazelwood nearly got let in Heathcliffe's window just then.
Posted by: m0nty | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:44 PM
Maureen's beard angers me. I can't quite put my finger on what it is *exactly* that gives me the irits about it but by God it annoys me.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:55 PM
I agree with Warne. That was an ugly not-out.
Poms have had the rub of the review decisions so far.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:17 AM
FUCK. OFF. COOK!
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:18 AM
That was good for a lol. A long walk through the long room.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:19 AM
Strangely, I've never bothered to get my head around the DRS laws.... but WHAT IN BLAZES?!! Lyon's referral showed the ball hitting leg stump almost dead centre. So why refer it if that's gonna be the outcome?
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:21 AM
Malfoy really wants to get out before MJ comes on, doesn't he?
Posted by: m0nty | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:33 AM
Same here! For mine, I think it's the fact he's got a FULL Ned Kelly style beard.... but in reality it's merely a wispy imposter. I wonder if any Aussies have been tempted to sledge him about it. Why the hell not? It looks ridiculous, sticking out and fluttering around under his grille.
Er.... OK, I'll answer my own question. The Aussies would be too scared to because of the likely ramifications. Moeen has an invisible friend in the sky, and he told him to grow that beard. And his invisible friend in the sky is NOT the big boss of the Christian faith.
Therefore xenophobia and bigotry and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:43 AM
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:49 AM
I wonder what would Oliver Cromwell have made of Maureen.
Posted by: The Mayblooms of Winter | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:57 AM
At least he isn't Catholic.
Posted by: Sir Oliver Cromwell | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 12:59 AM
I've been really impressed by Ponting's commentary and general input on Sky Sports, and have been surprised a little by the fact that he seems to be a really nice, easy-going guy. He seems to be someone that is pretty at peace with his world, which is not always something you get from ex-sporties behind microphones. A lot of ex-sportsmen are like politicians - they're motivated by power and/or competitiveness and ruthless thirst for success, and when they run out steam they go into retirement angry and bitter that the dream didn't go on as long as it should have. There are good examples of that sitting right next to Ponting in the same com box; it took literally decades for Botham to calm down for instance, and Hussain was angry and one-eyed for years after he took up commentary. Boycott is another good example, and even though Australians of the likes of Taylor, Warne and Healy didn't ever come across as bitter and twisted, they're definitely playing to the gallery and are not really genuine, which is probably why they piss us off so much. Ponting seems to be completely different, completely genuine, and dare I say it, a completely likeable guy in a way that is usually pretty hard to fake.
Posted by: Carrot | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 07:04 AM
Ponting got big wraps for his commentary in the BBL, so it is no surprise that Sky have picked him up. Unfortunately we've been saddled with Nine's mob and don't get Sky on Foxtel. I hope Nine does not make a habit of sending their plonkers on assignment. Even if the overseas networks and commentators are rubbish, a change is as good as a holiday.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 08:30 AM
The $64,000 questions are-
* How long will it take to bowl England out on this road and
* What's the weather going to do?
Weather wise it looks like early rain on the fourth day, supposedly clearing. Contrast to St Andrews where the golf has been extended to Monday due to wild weather.
Posted by: The Mongrel | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 09:04 AM
Once again we'll get to see it Australia has learned to bowl a side out on a road.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 09:21 AM
I read last night that apparently only five teams have successfully batted out a draw when given five sessions to save a game. The weight of statisitcs say that England should be toast. This *is* a road though, and Clarke might even want a bit more on the board than 500, so might bat a little more into the afternoon session depending on how much we get this morning. Any sort of damage with the new ball and we're pretty much home though, you'd think.
Posted by: Carrot | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 07:11 PM
Botham just made the point that Smith is hitting the ball as though he hadn't left the crease following his double-hundred, and it's true. Is he in really, really good form at the moment, or is he just really, really good? I don't think anyone would have thought that a guy that bats the way he does could be averaging nearly 60 only 30 Tests into his career. The thing is that he's only 26 - players that enjoy this sort of form are usually "mature" players, over 30, a la Clarke a few years ago, but Smith is still relatively new to the game.
Posted by: Carrot | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 08:33 PM
Smith's currently (33*) 99 runs short of 3000 runs in his 58th innings. The list of those who got there in less than 60 innings isn't too bad....
Bradman, Weeks, Sutcliff, Lara, Harvey, Richards, Sobers, Sehwag, Walcott, Compton, Hobbs.
Hopefully he can keep up with that lot for his whole career
Posted by: Shep | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 09:04 PM
Ricky chooses Swisse.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Sunday, July 19, 2015 at 11:00 PM
Jesus - ninepins!
Posted by: Carrot | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 01:09 AM
Wow, what a demolition job. Bring on game three please!
Posted by: Vindicate | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 01:45 AM
Incredible turn-around. England were never going to win, but you wouldn't have backed us to bowl them out for 101! There's clearly still a lot of fear for Johnson, and with scoreboard pressure he was all over them. Fantastic performance from him, really - an absolute nothing wicket, worse than Adelaide 2013 as we said, and he still bowled us to victory even though the scorecard will show that the wickets were shared around.
The equivalent English cricket blogs must be very, very dark places right now - they were awful. At no point were they ever in the match.
Posted by: Carrot | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 01:51 AM
Damn. Fell asleep at lunch and missed everything.
Just like England, by the sounds of it.
Posted by: A short kip | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 02:31 AM
My stream worked very well, hoorah.
Mitch Marsh is a good addition to this attack. Bright lad.
Mitch Johnson could have taken another five wickets easily. Jeez, he bowled well this match. Wish the eejits could catch though. That will lose us another match if they keep that shit up.
I think Ben Stokes has cricket's version of the Darwin award sewn up for this series. Terrified of Johnson even when he's fielding at mid-on. It was a great throw.
Posted by: lou | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:13 AM
Carrot,it's exactly what I've been thinking about Punter. You can't fake that humility and lack of bitterness. Also, he's done sterling work on the Third Man desk at Sky. Obvious love for the game and enjoys talking about the ins and outs of batting..
He's be hopeless on Nine as he wants to watch and talk about the game that is on in front of him. I've found Warne even more of a prat in contrast.
Jonathan Agnew has stuck up for Punter on TMS. He has always spoken warmly about him and his affability. But then I think he likes Aussies very much.
John Inverarity spoke about Punter in the highest possible terms while he was selector.
Posted by: lou | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:22 AM
Yes, it's a funny thing about Ponting. I think we all probably had the idea from his on-field demeanour that he was a bit of a prick, but he really does seem like a nice guy with a good sense of humour, and actually no small amount of class. He's obviously a real student of the game too which is perfect for good quality commentary, and he complements the other people in the Sky box. Mike Hussey is another that holds him in high regard, apparently he wrote about it in his autobiography. When I heard that I thought he was giving him a bit of a Justin Langer-esque herogram and it probably didn't have much basis in the truth, but I can see where it comes from now.
I find Warne pretty good on Sky. Can't stand him on Nine.
Posted by: Carrot | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 07:02 AM
We can only cross our fingers that Ponting does not get oafed by Nine.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 08:11 AM
Carrot, dismal is in the eye of the beholder. I find them delightful.
I still have the BBC and Guardian Ashes page in my bookmarks from last series. There's something about the Left of politics that just does despair so much better than the Right, who tend to bluster through.
The BBC Ashes page headline today is Australia Thrash Dismal England.
Are there four more beautiful words in the english language? I think the BBC have a short cut for this headline where they just hit F5.
The Guardian headline is England reflect Lord’s pastel shades beside tooth-and-claw Australia. Nice in its own way, but not quite the snap of the BBC.
Posted by: The Mongrel | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 09:35 AM
Mong, Carrot will give it the "cricket is better when England plays well" treatment, the poor deluded soul.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 10:19 AM
"Pastel shades"? Is the Guardian calling English cricket gay? Or at least metrosexual. The first par sounds like a review of a Degas painting. Taking the Pisarro.
Guardian journos are too enamoured with the sound of their own clacking keys. Combine that with cricket journos' predilection for flowery circumloquacity, and you get some strongly purple shades in their writing.
As for the cricket, would need to see a full replay to be sure, but it was very pleasing to see Johnson get wicked swing, because that means he's bowling properly to add to the aggression that he has regained post-Hughes.
Posted by: m0nty | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 11:22 AM
The one question I need answered is did Jimmy Anderson invite the Aussies in for a drink?
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 11:48 AM
The first sentence:
is Peak Guardian.
No point reading after that flannel.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 11:50 AM
How dare you criticise my circumcision.
Posted by: Blarney Ronay | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 11:54 AM
The most disappointing thing about the first test, apart from our performance, is declining the invite to have a beer with the poms. This was weak on Clark's behal;f. We were outplayed so let them enjoy it. We flogged them at Lords, so send the invite and hope they come. I hope they did. There is a better spirit in these games, or so it appears. Cook checking on Buck when he went down. Good Mitch hitting Broad with a throw then putting his arm up. Tough, hard yet not all the mean spirit. We play better in that mood, and I think it suits us.
Posted by: philsgone | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 12:35 PM
Also best team bowling for a good while, wickets shared, pressure all the time from both ends, great effort. And no sign of niggles, another key aspect of success
Posted by: philsgone | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 12:36 PM
On inspection, I take that comment back.
The Daily Mail and Telegraph are if anything tougher on the poms than the Guardian is. Love the photomontage of dejected England batsmen in the Daily Mail.
As for the Guardian, I can see where Spanky Roebuck learned his writing style. England are described as "invertebrate." I think that means "spineless." Never use two syllables when three will do.
Posted by: The Mongrel | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 01:11 PM
Ha ha, Tones - no! I thoroughly enjoyed this Test. Redemption all round - for Cardiff, for Lord's after 2005 and 2009, and for Johnson who completely lost it last time he was there.
Hope Rogers recovers ok, though. I have suffered dizzy spells myself when playing sport. It's a helluva disconcerting thing! For me it's usually dehydration, although you'd think Rogers would have that covered.
Posted by: Carrot | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:03 PM
Boycott:
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:16 PM
We won at Lords in 2005.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:20 PM
Eurgh- yes, that should have been '09 and '13.
Posted by: Carrot | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:34 PM
what are our stats winning at Edgbaston?
Posted by: philsgone | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 04:51 PM
Played 13. Won 3. Lost 5. Drew Morphett.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 06:14 PM
I always wondered if Drewmor Fett was related to Boba Fett.
Posted by: m0nty | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 07:08 PM
I'm in such a good mood today!! Bit silly, really.
Posted by: Carrot | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 07:18 PM
Same here.Johnson bowling well always gives me a lift.
Posted by: lou | Monday, July 20, 2015 at 09:24 PM
Bugger! "England drops Gary Ballance for third Test."
Posted by: Tony Tea | Wednesday, July 22, 2015 at 10:53 AM
Greaat, Bell to 3, no form out early. Root to 4 upsets his batting at 5 level of perfoermance. More pressur eon cook. I reckon Bell could be ringing for the last time in this test. For whom the Bell tolls, etc etc
Posted by: philsgone | Wednesday, July 22, 2015 at 11:42 AM
So can we replpace Clark with Meg Lanning, she is a better batter and a good captain from what I have read
Posted by: philsgone | Friday, July 24, 2015 at 08:22 AM
Whew, it's been a long fortnight of international travel and I'm exhausted.
First I was in France to orchestrate the urine throwing, spitting and punching against Team Sky, then made an across the world trip to Perth to coordinate sustained booing of Goodes; this week I'll be at Edgbaston to stir up some trouble between Davey Boy and the Rooter.
In between time I was able to get Quade Cooper to lose it on twitter, and still had a bit of spare time up my sleeve to get out to Blacktown and fire up the Fifita twins. Go the Lower Mountains Eagles!
What with Parra and Panthers getting slaughtered each weekend it's the least I can do. Idle hands are the devil's workshop and all that. Any tips on what to do next would be gladly welcomed.
1 Timothy 5:13 and Proverbs 18:9
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