Stokes and Monty in, Joost and (likely) Tremlett out.
Doug the Rug and Nathan Coulter-Nile on standby for Perth, for some reason. Oh, I know! Doug is a New South Welshman, and NCN is the new Brendon Julian.
"Pressure on the opposition" Like when England and Australia scored 500+ in Adelaide and lost in 2003 and 2006? Or when Faf batted out the whole final day last year and we were left 172 in front and still needing 2 wickets?
I call bullshit on pressure being a factor. We bat because it made sense on uncovered pitches and it has been passed down like a tablet from God ever since.
Both Neo and Malfoy bowling from an angle where they can't get elbees easily, because they are not swinging it at all. If the ball is hitting the stumps, it's likely pitched outside leg already.
A bit of Studsy-like intimidation wouldn't go astray.
I was kinda hoping we'd bowl too -Pitch may have had some juice, and to bat last and give the quicks an extra day rest before the waca Test. But at 1/100 or thereabouts, batting first isn't looking too bad.
Here's a graph showing the number of runs teams scored for different results (wins at top, losses at bottom, draws in middle). Note that the pressure is higher on the team batting first, because they can lose with a much higher number of runs. Once you get past 570 or so (maybe 400 in the first dig) it is almost impossible to lose batting second.
It's the third innings that matters, that's when the pitch starts to go bad, when the game can be lost. Would much rather be bowling then.
Good question. I think it will be softer, and lower, because the deep repetitive rolling hasn't happened. The soil content is the same, so it shouldn't age differently, but it is cold and a bit moist so it won't crack and dry underneath as it would in 35+ degree heat.
My guess it will stay good for batting but play lower than normal. It is a fool's errand to call Adelaide for a draw on day 1, but it is more likely than not, I suspect.
This extended Clarke time from 3:30 until after 4pm is very problematic... Smith gawn... Clarke to play his typically post-tea lazy footwork get-out shot.
What's been happening? Four poor shots for four wickets on a road. England couldn't wobble it an inch early but managed to get turn and a bit of reverse later on, which made things more difficult, though still negotiable without much problem by Test quality batsmen. Poms have also dropped two sharp catches, so it could have been worse.
Intangibles and Hard Core have batted well, currently enjoying the new ball which seems much less dangerous than the old in these conditions. But one little drop in concentration and we're in trouble.
NOTE: CH 9 is doing a one hour highlights package of the days play tonight (and every day during this Test and hopefully the rest of the Tests). Good to see someone has picked up the ball re the highlights. The Fox Sports one used to be ok but at 2 hours per day was too long.
@Russ (re the pitch): 'it is cold and a bit moist'
I think you meant the air there Russ (?), but on Sky they were saying that the moisture content of the pitch was something like 27% as opposed to (from late night memory) 70%ish at the Gabba.
I assume they stick a magnificent gold and onyx fountain pen with some sort of capacitance sensor into the soil by the side of the pitch to establish this?
Anyway, quite a few balls looked to go through the top, too.
Again on Sky, they were talking about how this didn't necessarily mean the poitch would deteriorate further, but...
If we'd held our catches, 260ish for 8 would be looking match-winning to me. Though I felt pretty happy with whatever it was in Vrisbane, too.
As it was, Carberry, Root and Monty need the shit kicking out of them - particulary Carberry.
Aaaarrrggghhh.
@Tony, in answer to your question, what Steve Smith was doing was holding the spot until a proper Test batsman comes along.
Dan, yes, the air. Australian weather, particularly in Perth and Adelaide where it can be 40 and completely dry, can drop the moisture content markedly, and the fast drying causes cracks and what-not. But if the air is cold and moist, then the pitch won't get a lot drier, and therefore will hold together okay. We'll see anyway.
I've not seen measurements of English pitches, but I'd expect Australian pitches generally start wetter than English ones, and end drier. In theory you'd want a pitch as dry as it can possibly be without crumbling to dust on day 5 (much like good biscuit dough). So the starting point will reflect the expected conditions.
Also - this one might be for you, too, Russ - can anyone explain how a good point/gully fielder, which Carberry is, can drop a catch like that?
Beyond he's human, humans make mistakes, I mean.
His whole life from the age of I guess five he has been catching balls, progressively quicker and harder; here he is on 'the biggest stage of all' and it all goes wrong, with an easy chance.
I think that gully through point are probably the places where you'll see more straightforward catches dropped than elsewhere.
The trouble with those positions is that it can be a bit difficult when the ball is mis-timed, because you can expect the ball to come to you quicker than it does. If the ball's travelling straight at you at eye-level and there's a dissonance between what you see from the batsman and what the ball's doing it can sometimes be difficult to judge how fast the ball's travelling. With mis-timed shots, and any shot off the back foot behind square, there's also going to be a bit of dip and/or swerve on the ball as well which adds to the problem. Add that all up and hey presto, you've floored what looks like the easiest catch in the world. I saw one of the best cricketers in my club spill a catch just like that last English season. He threw one of the funniest tantrums I've seen on a cricket field in awhile!
Carrot's right. Square of the wicket catches can be tricky for both pace and curve. Carberry's howler reminded me of Ashley Giles' miss off Ponting in 2006. Fingers crossed history repeats.
Dan, yes, I'd expect Australian pitches to start with more moisture then dry out. At least at the surface. Getting water deep down needs prolonged watering and that's easier/more common in England - hence the varying hardness.
On Carberry. What Carrot and TT said. Gully is hard, it tends to spin off the bat, so it can swerve around and this ball wasn't middled. Sometimes catches like this go down because the ball is at an awkward height between fingers up and fingers down and dips late, which will get you in a real mess. But that didn't seem to happen here. He was jumping/gliding though, which means he is trying to use his arms for balance and catching, and I feel that will make for harder hands.
Should have been caught though.
On a similar note, I noticed Monty dropped one off his bowling. It has always intrigued me why England didn't try and turn him into a slip. He is a terrible outfielder: slow, uncoordinated, but he has hands like buckets.
nottrampis, you probably couldn't tell, but last Test I cleaned up one of my comments before hitting the "Post" button, purely because of your "play nice" warning.
I felt dirty and used, but I kinda felt proud at the same time.
Klutzy flashing hard and riding his luck as uaual. Average of 139 at Adelaide, I am told, so it works there. He has been very lucky this innings though.
Murder, no less. But, y'know, quickly scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to African STATESMEN.... so she gets a free pass coz she faced a few balls at his Members End.
On the teev this morning [Channel 9] they had some hastily cobbled together motley panel of paint-by-numbers and has-been Lefties. Somebody in the "news room" had cranked up up the A3 printer, and they were sitting under a shabby sign saying Nelson Mandela was DEAD.
DEAD! Not "passed away" or any attempt to tone it back for the great man. It had all the class of yer average HAPPY 40th SHARLENE.
Jono Coleman was squirming in his seat predicting some sort of AWESOME CONCERT JUST LIKE BOB GELDOFF DID. No sh!t, Sherlock?!
With the amount of derp I've already seen, I'm predicting this is gonna be worse than Princess Di's passing.
So now what? 389/5 at lunch. 11 sessions to go. Pitch flat.
A declaration from 500-550 would leave us open to them matching (or exceeding) and putting the pressure on. A declaration (if possible) at 650-700 would mean bowling for three straight days in the lead-up to Perth.
Optimally we get to 550-600, roll them for 300, bat for a bit and have a day and some to force a result.
But short of England batting pretty badly we are basically batting for a draw at this point.
I cannot believe you all are chortling and laughing your way through this sombre day. Please have some respect and pray, silently pray, for Oz to slowly, ruthlessly, choke the life out of these Poms.
"What sort of a creep would put a spy camera in his bathroom?" "Why have you been throwing your neighbours off the balcony?"
I'm getting pretty sick and tired of A Current Affair harassing my family. Little did I know they were putting it to air in the Ashes ad-breaks. Where is the tolerance for my people, where is the respect for our culture?
Slats cracked a joke about Sizzler's bananas (15 a day) and said "He must spend some time on the loo."
What's the association with bananas and the loo? Unless Slats is saying Sizzler sticks them up his arse in there, or something (not that there'd be anything wrong with that. All perfectly acceptable if that's your inclination.)
Nice shower to freshen up the pitch for the first morning. Big toss to win again.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Only if we bowl *
* We won't bowl.
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Won the toss and batting! Woo!
Stokes and Monty in, Joost and (likely) Tremlett out.
Doug the Rug and Nathan Coulter-Nile on standby for Perth, for some reason. Oh, I know! Doug is a New South Welshman, and NCN is the new Brendon Julian.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Great, so we've lowered our win probability if we are on top, and lowered our draw probability if we are behind.
A brand-new drop-in in cool conditions isn't breaking up on the fifth day and Lyon is hardly going to exploit it anyway. And it is overcast and cool.
The f**k would you bat first?
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Early runs puts pressure on the opposition. Simple cricket. The problem is surviving the new ball and not getting oneself out.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 10:55 AM
The pitch looks like a complete road. So we won't make 300.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Ah, rain. Eeeeeeeeexcellent.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:04 AM
"Pressure on the opposition" Like when England and Australia scored 500+ in Adelaide and lost in 2003 and 2006? Or when Faf batted out the whole final day last year and we were left 172 in front and still needing 2 wickets?
I call bullshit on pressure being a factor. We bat because it made sense on uncovered pitches and it has been passed down like a tablet from God ever since.
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Some teams deal exceedingly well with pressure in rare occasions. More often they powder, like England did in the last test.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Both Neo and Malfoy bowling from an angle where they can't get elbees easily, because they are not swinging it at all. If the ball is hitting the stumps, it's likely pitched outside leg already.
A bit of Studsy-like intimidation wouldn't go astray.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Cow Corner drowns in honey. That was poor.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Cow Corner goose.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 11:52 AM
I haven't looked forward this much to a game of cricket for 15+ years. I feel like a kid again.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 12:26 PM
I am feeling a sense of impending doom.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 12:26 PM
m0nty, I was hoping you'd take my second sentence and hit me with another "ooer, matron!" quip.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 12:35 PM
I struggle with Adelaide Test's. Too much ebb not enough flow.
Posted by: Cameron | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 12:45 PM
The "ooer, matron" is implied with every sentence you write, Rammy.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 01:00 PM
Rain? Adelaide? I smell a rat.
Posted by: gillysgone | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 01:07 PM
Swann to Buck, doom approaching.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 01:23 PM
WTF? Hawkeye had it as hitting the top of leg.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 01:59 PM
"WTF? Hawkeye had it as hitting the top of leg."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FYb5ITPB8Q
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 02:13 PM
I was kinda hoping we'd bowl too -Pitch may have had some juice, and to bat last and give the quicks an extra day rest before the waca Test. But at 1/100 or thereabouts, batting first isn't looking too bad.
Posted by: Hangover Black | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 02:15 PM
I hope Stokes has a heap of SPF-30 rubbed into that thinning red haired bonce of his. I'm getting sunburn just looking at him.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 02:17 PM
Here's a graph showing the number of runs teams scored for different results (wins at top, losses at bottom, draws in middle). Note that the pressure is higher on the team batting first, because they can lose with a much higher number of runs. Once you get past 570 or so (maybe 400 in the first dig) it is almost impossible to lose batting second.
It's the third innings that matters, that's when the pitch starts to go bad, when the game can be lost. Would much rather be bowling then.
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 02:54 PM
WatLOTTO: 68
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:22 PM
You don't think the drop-in pitch will break up differently, Russ?
Posted by: Jonathan D | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:23 PM
Watto Lotto: 97.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:26 PM
Good question. I think it will be softer, and lower, because the deep repetitive rolling hasn't happened. The soil content is the same, so it shouldn't age differently, but it is cold and a bit moist so it won't crack and dry underneath as it would in 35+ degree heat.
My guess it will stay good for batting but play lower than normal. It is a fool's errand to call Adelaide for a draw on day 1, but it is more likely than not, I suspect.
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:34 PM
Watto you useless plank. In Clarke time too.
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:37 PM
Fucking hell. Rodgers was looking good.
Posted by: brendan | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:39 PM
I'm singing the Doom Song.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 03:40 PM
This extended Clarke time from 3:30 until after 4pm is very problematic... Smith gawn... Clarke to play his typically post-tea lazy footwork get-out shot.
Posted by: Russ | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 04:05 PM
Worst Clarke Time ever.
Posted by: Cameron | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 04:05 PM
Good proactive captaincy from Cook to bring Panesar on to the right-handers before tea.
Posted by: Cameron | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 04:24 PM
Intangibles needs to get tangible.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 04:27 PM
Ian Chappell is losing his faculties. He described 2 things in 3 balls [muffled LBW appeal and a dropped c&b] and got them both completely wrong.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 04:47 PM
Malfoy just produced an unplayable. We're in for it here.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 04:55 PM
4 down for lots. Clarke and Bailey settled. We've won this one.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 05:28 PM
Both Mark Nicholas and Cricinfo ball-by-ball made smart ass references to Richie Benaud and the 222 total.
It's 242, you dolts.
"tue for tue for tue"
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 05:45 PM
So, what's been happening? Last I looked we were 1 for 100 odd.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 05:51 PM
Onya Intangibles. I can see you shimmering into tangibility every ball.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 05:57 PM
What's been happening? Four poor shots for four wickets on a road. England couldn't wobble it an inch early but managed to get turn and a bit of reverse later on, which made things more difficult, though still negotiable without much problem by Test quality batsmen. Poms have also dropped two sharp catches, so it could have been worse.
Intangibles and Hard Core have batted well, currently enjoying the new ball which seems much less dangerous than the old in these conditions. But one little drop in concentration and we're in trouble.
Nomentum, like Movember, is no mo.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:03 PM
Bailey falls for Malfoy's obvious ruse to get him out hooking.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:15 PM
...in Clarke Time
Posted by: Cameron | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:16 PM
Just the sort of situation in which Klutzy normally holes out.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:25 PM
I do enjoy an unsuccessful English referral.
Credit to the umps for getting it right both times.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:28 PM
Klutzy trying to give catching practice. Dingle drops one.
Posted by: m0nty | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:32 PM
NOTE: CH 9 is doing a one hour highlights package of the days play tonight (and every day during this Test and hopefully the rest of the Tests). Good to see someone has picked up the ball re the highlights. The Fox Sports one used to be ok but at 2 hours per day was too long.
Posted by: Cameron | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:36 PM
God, Jesus, no. They are having an extra over. Nothing good can come of this.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:40 PM
And now I've learned something new. The review rules have changed.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 06:41 PM
Jeez, the Poms dropped some sitters.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 07:25 PM
What the hell was Steven Smith doing?
Posted by: Tony Tea | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 07:26 PM
@Russ (re the pitch): 'it is cold and a bit moist'
I think you meant the air there Russ (?), but on Sky they were saying that the moisture content of the pitch was something like 27% as opposed to (from late night memory) 70%ish at the Gabba.
I assume they stick a magnificent gold and onyx fountain pen with some sort of capacitance sensor into the soil by the side of the pitch to establish this?
Anyway, quite a few balls looked to go through the top, too.
Again on Sky, they were talking about how this didn't necessarily mean the poitch would deteriorate further, but...
If we'd held our catches, 260ish for 8 would be looking match-winning to me. Though I felt pretty happy with whatever it was in Vrisbane, too.
As it was, Carberry, Root and Monty need the shit kicking out of them - particulary Carberry.
Aaaarrrggghhh.
@Tony, in answer to your question, what Steve Smith was doing was holding the spot until a proper Test batsman comes along.
Posted by: Dan | Thursday, December 05, 2013 at 08:54 PM
Dan, yes, the air. Australian weather, particularly in Perth and Adelaide where it can be 40 and completely dry, can drop the moisture content markedly, and the fast drying causes cracks and what-not. But if the air is cold and moist, then the pitch won't get a lot drier, and therefore will hold together okay. We'll see anyway.
I've not seen measurements of English pitches, but I'd expect Australian pitches generally start wetter than English ones, and end drier. In theory you'd want a pitch as dry as it can possibly be without crumbling to dust on day 5 (much like good biscuit dough). So the starting point will reflect the expected conditions.
Posted by: Russ | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:11 AM
@Russ 'I'd expect Australian pitches generally start wetter than English ones, and end drier.'
Russ, is that because your groundsmen (or curators) water them more in the run-up because they know the weather will dry them out quicker?
It was pretty blowy on day 1; I guess that will have an effect, though clearly if it's blowing humid air less than if dry.
Posted by: Dan | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:15 AM
Also - this one might be for you, too, Russ - can anyone explain how a good point/gully fielder, which Carberry is, can drop a catch like that?
Beyond he's human, humans make mistakes, I mean.
His whole life from the age of I guess five he has been catching balls, progressively quicker and harder; here he is on 'the biggest stage of all' and it all goes wrong, with an easy chance.
How and why?
Too much time to think about it?
Posted by: Dan | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:17 AM
I think that gully through point are probably the places where you'll see more straightforward catches dropped than elsewhere.
The trouble with those positions is that it can be a bit difficult when the ball is mis-timed, because you can expect the ball to come to you quicker than it does. If the ball's travelling straight at you at eye-level and there's a dissonance between what you see from the batsman and what the ball's doing it can sometimes be difficult to judge how fast the ball's travelling. With mis-timed shots, and any shot off the back foot behind square, there's also going to be a bit of dip and/or swerve on the ball as well which adds to the problem. Add that all up and hey presto, you've floored what looks like the easiest catch in the world. I saw one of the best cricketers in my club spill a catch just like that last English season. He threw one of the funniest tantrums I've seen on a cricket field in awhile!
Posted by: Carrot | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 06:30 AM
Carrot's right. Square of the wicket catches can be tricky for both pace and curve. Carberry's howler reminded me of Ashley Giles' miss off Ponting in 2006. Fingers crossed history repeats.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 08:52 AM
I wouldn't disagree with the general point but, talking specifically, curve and pace are two things that this particular chance did not have.
(Ironically, the catch he took earlier [shakily, he's not the best catcher actually] was quick and may have swerved a bit.)
Posted by: Dan | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 09:02 AM
I think we all agree that it was an absolute doddle.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 09:33 AM
Dan, yes, I'd expect Australian pitches to start with more moisture then dry out. At least at the surface. Getting water deep down needs prolonged watering and that's easier/more common in England - hence the varying hardness.
On Carberry. What Carrot and TT said. Gully is hard, it tends to spin off the bat, so it can swerve around and this ball wasn't middled. Sometimes catches like this go down because the ball is at an awkward height between fingers up and fingers down and dips late, which will get you in a real mess. But that didn't seem to happen here. He was jumping/gliding though, which means he is trying to use his arms for balance and catching, and I feel that will make for harder hands.
Should have been caught though.
On a similar note, I noticed Monty dropped one off his bowling. It has always intrigued me why England didn't try and turn him into a slip. He is a terrible outfielder: slow, uncoordinated, but he has hands like buckets.
Posted by: Russ | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 09:54 AM
I am late but I have highlighted you lot again for the second test so be good boys!!
That wicket is a road. A wicket for batsman is a bad cricket wicket!
M0nty we need more cricket articles on your blog.
Posted by: nottrampis | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 10:34 AM
nottrampis, you probably couldn't tell, but last Test I cleaned up one of my comments before hitting the "Post" button, purely because of your "play nice" warning.
I felt dirty and used, but I kinda felt proud at the same time.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:16 PM
I scoff at your modern day gully fieldsmen. Bruce Yardley is the only one worthy to sup at my table. Daylight third.
Posted by: Joel Garner | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Steady on!
Posted by: Geoff Marsh | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:20 PM
Flat Track Lemming. Fairly important ton though today.
Posted by: Russ | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:39 PM
The Sumptuous Gay Lord's digression into a Mandela obit fails to mention the word "necklacing". Surprising.
Posted by: Cameron | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Klutzy flashing hard and riding his luck as uaual. Average of 139 at Adelaide, I am told, so it works there. He has been very lucky this innings though.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Well, that was a pretty tidy sesh. Didn't hear a ball of it. I better do more work in future.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:05 PM
The Crooky bloke is the other bloke from Bill & Ted, Alex Winter.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:06 PM
I always laugh when I remember the trendy older daughter in Cosby had kids named Nelson and Winny. Winny has since blotted her copybook.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:10 PM
Murder, no less. But, y'know, quickly scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to African STATESMEN.... so she gets a free pass coz she faced a few balls at his Members End.
On the teev this morning [Channel 9] they had some hastily cobbled together motley panel of paint-by-numbers and has-been Lefties. Somebody in the "news room" had cranked up up the A3 printer, and they were sitting under a shabby sign saying Nelson Mandela was DEAD.
DEAD! Not "passed away" or any attempt to tone it back for the great man. It had all the class of yer average HAPPY 40th SHARLENE.
Jono Coleman was squirming in his seat predicting some sort of AWESOME CONCERT JUST LIKE BOB GELDOFF DID. No sh!t, Sherlock?!
With the amount of derp I've already seen, I'm predicting this is gonna be worse than Princess Di's passing.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:29 PM
Klutzy goes alright in Adelaide.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:53 PM
One score over 60 for an average of 140+. More red ink than the Qantas balance sheet.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:55 PM
I never said the average required forensic appraisal.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 01:58 PM
Stats that lie are fun.
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:00 PM
So now what? 389/5 at lunch. 11 sessions to go. Pitch flat.
A declaration from 500-550 would leave us open to them matching (or exceeding) and putting the pressure on. A declaration (if possible) at 650-700 would mean bowling for three straight days in the lead-up to Perth.
Optimally we get to 550-600, roll them for 300, bat for a bit and have a day and some to force a result.
But short of England batting pretty badly we are basically batting for a draw at this point.
Posted by: Russ | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:05 PM
I cannot believe you all are chortling and laughing your way through this sombre day. Please have some respect and pray, silently pray, for Oz to slowly, ruthlessly, choke the life out of these Poms.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:21 PM
R.I.P. Paul Walker.
Posted by: Cameron | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:31 PM
Another big slice of luck with that run out, could have been out if the frames had ticked over a millisecond earlier.
We'd better make use of this luck while it lasts.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:37 PM
Another big slice of luck with that run out, could have been out if the frames had ticked over a millisecond earlier.
We'd better make use of this luck while it lasts.
Why are attributing to luck what is clearly the result of my prayers?
Is Paul Walker that fast and the bi-curious fella, Cam?
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:38 PM
Mr. Walker was a great man. I'm not sure why. But i do know a bandwagon when I see one.
Posted by: Cameron | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:46 PM
Who is Paul Walker?
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:48 PM
PS: have we declared yet?
Posted by: Tony Tea | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:48 PM
One of you bastards wasn't praying.
RIP Hard Core. What's with that mongo haircut he's wearing?
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:50 PM
We need to bat into the Tea session.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:51 PM
My father named my first dog Winny, after Mendela. Twas because she was a "black bitch".
Here comes the tail to slash and wag?
Posted by: brendan | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 02:53 PM
"What sort of a creep would put a spy camera in his bathroom?" "Why have you been throwing your neighbours off the balcony?"
I'm getting pretty sick and tired of A Current Affair harassing my family. Little did I know they were putting it to air in the Ashes ad-breaks. Where is the tolerance for my people, where is the respect for our culture?
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:00 PM
Tolerance for your people, Pat? That's what Today Tonight is for.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:02 PM
Watch us fail to make 500 from here.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:03 PM
ACA should be, indefinably, cancelled to honour Paul Walker.
Posted by: Cameron | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:05 PM
Slats cracked a joke about Sizzler's bananas (15 a day) and said "He must spend some time on the loo."
What's the association with bananas and the loo? Unless Slats is saying Sizzler sticks them up his arse in there, or something (not that there'd be anything wrong with that. All perfectly acceptable if that's your inclination.)
Well done Squinty!
Now get another 50.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:08 PM
Maybe that's why Sizzler looks so drawn and pasty these days. 15 bananas up your jacksy each day's gonna take its toll.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:11 PM
Up or down, it's a lot of bananas.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:17 PM
Sizz should stop monkeying around and get some meat in 'im.
Posted by: Cameron | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:30 PM
Lets hope Watson will bowl 30 overs and will be injured so that Marcus North or young Phil can play in Perth
Posted by: gillysgone | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:31 PM
Good stuff. Batting into the tea session.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 03:43 PM
600, I meant. Watch us fail to get 600.
Posted by: m0nty | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 04:35 PM
Geez, when Lippy's sweeping sixes you know the pitch is pretty flat.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 04:43 PM
I was gonna bag out all the channel nein fans who tipped we'd get 570 but, I'm the goose. Top stuff, Oz.
Posted by: M. Patard | Friday, December 06, 2013 at 04:44 PM