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Tony Tea

Level 1

Breach of the Logo Policy (except for a commercial logo or player's bat logo).

Abuse of equipment clothing, or any part of the ground.

Showing dissent at an umpire's decision by word or by action.

Using language or a gesture that is obscene, offensive or insulting.

Excessive appealing.

Aggressive pointing towards the pavilion by a member of the fielding side upon the dismissal of a batsman.


Wild Lemmings.

Tony Tea

What's the Lemming equivalent of "Woof!"?


So the crime is not necessarily sledging but being heard sledging. I suppose that is what diminishes the "product"

Tony Tea

Brand management.


There was the best excessive appeal in the Afghanistan-Kenya game yesterday. Shenwari bowls his leg-spinner, lands middle-leg, turns and hits the batsman low and back in front of middle. He takes off, arms out, gets to short-cover, remembers he has to appeal, half turns, keeps running. He was out at deep cover by the time the umpire gave it out. Brilliant theatre.

Key playoffs are Wednesday and Thursday by the way. Get on it.


Can you imagine if Spanky had still been alive? Hard to claim that Anderson is a "proud Sikh warrior" but ...


Trott going home, British press on tour reporting. Stress-related illness. Sympathies with him; not easy touring 10 months a year; and if your form slips and you're prone to getting down on yourself.


One down, sixteen to go.

Tony Tea

Dr Warner, I presume.


That is disapppointing, re Trott. Do 'stress-related' illnesses crop up like that?

Not being a psychiatrist I don't know, and maybe they can, but it reads to me a bit more like, 'Sorry, Trotty, you've been found out, we're dropping you but we don't want to say we're dropping you.'

It's a pistol and a glass of scotch, I think.

Clarke's 'break your arm' thing to Anderson was ridiculous, the sort of thing which might lead to him being filled in somewhere, but then the bloke (Clarke) is a wanker. That said, Jimmy dishes it out a bit (and didn't complain anyway).

If we don't come back at the next Test, and I can't see how we can - unless Harris does his knee, Clarke's back goes and Mitch has a shocker (all of which are possible) - the series is all over.

Tony Tea

I don't think Trotty would let himself be talked into wearing a fake excuse like stress or depression or something similar.


I'm with Tony. All I can feel is sympathy for the guy. It actually takes a bit of the gloss off the win for me, actually. It always adds something to the game if a batsman has a problem with a bowler. Watching them battle through it, or not as the case may be, is always interesting. Clearly that equation can't apply here because he was not at his best.

The line between emotional/psychological can be pretty fine, too. Stress can bring on crippling migraines and back pain for instance. I actually have ulcerative colitis like Darren Fletcher (Manchester United), and when I'm under emotional strain I literally shit blood fifteen times a day. "Stress-related illnesses" can have very physical effects!


I'm sympathetic to him, too.

I just am surprised that two bad inns could in and of themselves create a stress-related illness.

I would bow to geater (or any) medical knowledge, but I'd have thought he'd have been exhibiting symptoms beforehand?

And if he was, why wasn't this picked up by the team doctor/Cook/Flower?

Did he hide it?

If so, that's a big no-no.

I suppose we'll have to wait for the tour diaries.


I'd like to know what Anderson said to Bailey which caused Clarke to lose the plot.
Apparently the Nine production team heard it through the mike and supposedly it was pretty bad.


Jimmy said 'by George if you could bat they'd sack that little prick', and then Clarke fired up.


Apparently he didn't hide it, he's just been managing it, and he's had it for awhile. I think the England management knew about it as well from what Flower said. No worse than a long-term niggling injury really, and hopefully it'll be treated as such by the press - Australian press, I'm looking at you.

Re: Clarke, Bailey and Anderson - this is why you just have to love the Ashes. As Dan said during the English instalment, Brits and Australians get along pretty well when it comes down to it, and culturally we're pretty much the same. There's no real animosity there, but put us on a cricket field..... Great stuff. It sounds like everyone gave as good as they got, and to be honest, kudos to Anderson for giving it back when he was facing some of the quickest bowling I've seen in a Test in awhile. Really looking forward to Adelaide!


Hasn't taken any gloss off it for me.

He hasn't been in form for ages, has made odd technical changes to his batting and he couldn't handle Johnson which may not have only been down to his stress-related illness.

Hope he has a peaceful time at home to recover.


Didn't Trescothick (Stresscothick in the papers) go home at the start of the 2007(?) series? Didn't even make the first test if memory serves correctly.

Tony Tea

Top of the wazza: Strescothick.


my view is here.

Not too surprising from someone who has 11 years in junior cricket and is also an Umpire!

I would have reported quite a few players!

Tony Tea

Andy Flower wants to meet with Boof to tee up sledging guidelines. Sounds like he's angling for a seat on a local council. Councils love meetings and guidelines.


It's funny but in the past week i've had two co-workers ask me mental health questions out of the blue . One wanted to know how to deal with anxiety, the other if she should see a doctor for depression. I'm not the most emotionally attuned fellow but I cant help but think this is all part of a larger societal problem, chiefly atomisation.

On a personal level I thank fuck for my lone wolf demeanor, alcohol and Marcus Aurelius.


It sounds like Anderson threatened to punch George Bailey in the face (presumably in response to something Bailey said to him, and so it goes on).

It's very juvenile, but Anderson is one of the many knobs in the England team, so that's no surprise.

A little bit of humour is fine, but when it descends to physical threats it's ridiculous.

Carrot, I'm sorry to hear of your own issues. I think a lot of people in public performance work suffer from it. I think the bird who is asking you for your advice in dealing with depression may be hitting on you, though!


'I think the bird who is asking you for your advice in dealing with depression may be hitting on you, though!'

Get it all the time Dan.

Though being a tall, successful, muscular, Australian, bearded, nationalist, it's par-for the course.

M. Patard

CRICKET doesn't belong to the obscenely overpaid, ungrateful, self-centred, over-indulged players who parade their ill manners on our Test arenas. It also doesn't belong to players of recent years such as former captain Steve Waugh, Shane Warne and Merv Hughes, who have supported Michael Clarke's disgraceful behaviour in the first Test.

So says "Bruce Francis...a former Australian Test opening batsman."

Francis goes on to say:

In typical fashion the transgressors and their yahoo mates are now blaming Channel 9 for broadcasting Clarke's comments to England's James Anderson. What Clarke did was in breach of the laws and a threat to the game millions of us love. If Channel 9 broadcast everything that was said on the field, breaches would cease immediately.

Bruce Francis is not just more moral and better than everyone else...he's outstanding!

Richard Hinds gives another perspective:

Talk of English "standards'' might have washed years ago when Mike Atherton and Nasser Hussein's hapless teams were bullied and berated by Australia's hissing assassins. But to anyone who has observed closely the current England outfit any suggestion of moral supremacy is laughable.

The England that sledges, cynically delays play, pioneers the use of specialists subs and mid-game massages for weary bowlers, rubs lollies on balls and doctors pitches lecturing about "standards''?

The England that flaunts its OBE's before the adoring throng that jeered Ricky Ponting, taunted Mitchell Johnson and exalted in victory every bit as much as Australia exalted in its period of domination lecturing on the spirit of the game?

Do us a favour.

Have we so quickly forgotten SimonJones chucking the ball at Hayden, claiming it was all an accident, yet the Poms boasting about their aggression that tour? Where has Bruce Francis been while the Poms continue to do all the things Hinds points out they've been doing?

Since the stump mic is on at all times and those in on the broadcast can hear everything that has been said, then how about CA go back through the recording and cite and fine all those who have transgressed. Why punish someone for an accidental broadcast of what is commonly said, and had already been said, i.e. Anderson threatening to Punch Bailey?

In other news,

In his book Anderson claims Damien Martyn had goaded the young paceman to swat Clarke. "While others chatted with opposite numbers about the game, Clarke was being a complete pain, whistling away to himself and carrying on in a most arrogant manner," Anderson wrote.

"As I'd had a couple of beers, I didn't need a second invitation, so I picked this pad up and cuffed Clarke with it, making the biggest thud imaginable in the process, and causing everyone in the room to stop nattering. "'What the f--- ya doing?' he snarled."

And: England were so rattled by short-ball barrage they inquired about dangerous bowling rule


Hi Dan, thanks for that, nice of you. As it happens I've not had a really bad bout of it for three years or so, so it's not something that bothers me much these days. It just crops up from time-to-time, and it's particularly bad with emotional stress (as opposed to professional stress), so erm - chicks, basically. Ulcerative colitis isn't actually a cut-and-dried "stress-related illness" per se mind you, it just is with me. I made the point to illustrate that these things can often be physical as well as emotional. If Trott feels under pressure and has to take shitloads of pain-killers for migraines or neck pain, or like me he gets the trots (geddit???) then it's not just a question of being a bit sad, it's absolutely going to have physical outcomes that will affect his game.

And Pat: hear bloody hear. Anyone playing the ugly Australians card is a mug. It's clear that both teams like a bit of a chat, and it makes it more enjoyable for me. It's great when the players show that it means something to them - like I said above, it's what makes the Ashes great. The only problem with Clarke was that he got caught on tape saying something, and you can't have the kiddies back home hearing that now, can you. It's clearly Nine's fault, everyone knows that much worse is said on an all-too regular basis, and there's a double standard there - say what you want as long as it isn't broadcast. CA probably shrugged their shoulders and paid Clarke's fine for him.

And pleeeeeeeeease don't let Flower add a layer of bureaucracy to this - cricket is micro-managed enough as it is!!

M. Patard

On a personal level I thank fuck for my lone wolf demeanor, alcohol and Marcus Aurelius.

I hope you haven't missed registration for Stoic Week.

If you have, you can still learn to live the life of a stoic by following the links there. In the meantime, here's some Marcus Aurelius for Alcoholics: http://www.iwise.com/Marcus_Aurelius/Alcohol%20and%20Alcoholism_quotes

M. Patard

And while we're discussing philosophy, ancient and modern, here's an up to date series of quotes on "the knockout game".

My own contribution:

As JFK would say:

"And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what the knockout game can do for you; ask what you can do for the knockout game."


Boof should spend the entire meeting with Flower sledging him. Would be a short meeting, and meet all relevant KPIs.


Boof has now cancelled the meeting with Flower.

“They’re all grown men out there, they will work it out,” Lehmann said.


Tony Tea

Hear, hear.

Tony Tea

Bruce Francis: grace of clothelessness.

Big Ramifications
Since the stump mic is on at all times and those in on the broadcast can hear everything that has been said, then how about CA go back through the recording and cite and fine all those who have transgressed. Why punish someone for an accidental broadcast of what is commonly said, and had already been said, i.e. Anderson threatening to Punch Bailey?

Pat, that was your best, most lucid post evarr. Top work.

Big Ramifications

// the whole thing, not just that para I quoted

Big Ramifications

"Boof should spend the entire meeting with Flower sledging him."

Farking hilarious, m0nty! Laugh of the week, so far.

food terroirist

I love how our Aus media is portraying Anderson v Clarke.

Jimmy threatened to "assault" Bailey... thug, legal terminology...

Clarke "stood up for his (team)mate"... Gallipoli, mateship etc...

I reckon this is all Martyn's fault! He shouldn't have egged Anderson (Adelaide '06) to smack Clarke upside the head with a batting pad. Clarke was just looking for revenge at the Gabba.

Big Ramifications

In a bit late with this tale, but what the heck. The Clarke sledging subject came up in a group email from a buddy, and I sent his brief reply.

Pup broke the 11th commandment.

Technically, he's being fined for GETTING CAUGHT sledging on stump mic. Devaluing the Cricket Australia brand. Yada yada.

Then knock me down with a feather clever Trevor.... I check out the latest AGB Cricket thread and see my sentiments have already been covered in the opening few comments.

11th commandment: Matt
Cricket Australia brand: Tony Tea

We truly have got our fingers on the pulses here at AGB Cricket, eh wot?

Big Ramifications
....I sent THIS brief reply."

Godammit! I hate it when I whip up a comment in Microsoft Word, spell check it, proof read it. And still a mistake gets thru.


Sledging is banned as per the spirit of the game fellas

Tony Tea

The phrase "spirit of the game" devalues cricket.


I'm sorry Tone but it is what makes it a great game without it it is merely a sport.

It is why cricket is the symbol of a highly cultural nation.

I am an umpire of course and involved in junior cricket for more years than I want to recall!

Professor Rosseforp

Carrot -- thanks for your comment re u.c. -- I take it that with your name, you have red hair? A lot of linkage between red hair and u.c (and other related autoimmune probs) -- as can be seen by number of left-handed redheads at support groups.
My sympathies too for that illness, Although in cricketing terms it can be used as an excuse for batting failures, "I only got out because I needed to get to the loo".

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