NOMENTUM

To all you tryhard wannabe experts whose strongest held opinion is the last opinion you heard, and who said Australia had the momentum going from the draw - THE DRAW!! - at Old Trafford to Riverside, get stuffed. There is no such thing as momentum from Test to Test. Find something else to write about, like listing Test cricketers whose names start with a number (mental note: look up batsmen whose names start with a number) or batsmen who have made 99 while using a green handled bat or something similarly suited to your mediocre understanding of the caper.

Comments

[Bruce]

As well as post hoc thinking and other mental failures...

[Professor Rosseforp]

I heard on the ABC news tonight that the momentum swung England's way when Warner was dismissed. Does momentum move by any means other than swinging?

[Tony Tea]

Shifts.

[lou]

It drops on batsmen's toes at times. That's why they can't move their ****ing feet before they have a swaft.

[gillysgone]

the first bit of mo-mentum we should see is that cow corner should get rid of his

[Nick]

We know that this series could, so easily, have gone the other way. The Trent Bridge Test was close and, in my view, we were saved by the rain at Old Trafford.
- Ian Bell

I see Fawed Visa has been picked in the ODI squad. I suppose he'll be the next underdone one day spinner popped into the Test side to unsettle Lyon, probably during the return series where we should be getting nice bouncy tracks to help what's left of our vaunted pace attack rather than the dryer Swann pitches in the UK.

Coverdale also calling for Hughes at 3. It's a thought but do the journos (and the selectors) have money on the batting order being different for all 5 Tests? Seriously, make a decision and stick with it. No wonder half the team doesn't know what they're doing!

[nottrampis]

the momentum is all the pom's way.

I said over at M0nty's excellent blog I went to bed when they were 0-74 expecting them to put up a pretty god show and and I woke up to hear theyn lost!!

[Tony Tea]

Not me. I went to bed at lunch:

Although I agree with Guru Russ (@IdleSummers) that the batting has gotten easier, I think we all know what is about to happen. #Ashes

— Tony Tea (@AfterGrogBlog) August 12, 2013

[Big Ramifications]

Fantastic call, Tony, with your FOURTH TEST: RIVERSIDE "momentum" warning in the post proper. I was far from thinking Australia had turned the corner, but nevertheless when I first read it I thought "you cynical little so-and-so."

Had the Test gone Australia's way it wouldn't have made your warning any WRONGER, but the fact that Oz momentum did, indeed, count for naught and England won it, well.... [Tony licks tip of pointy finger, makes downwards motion, says "ZING!"].

The MSM sports journos who AREN'T already lurking on AGB Cricket pinching your ideas should consider doing so forthwith.

I'd also like to repeat my props for nick's comment during 4th day banter:

"We'll take the match into the [fifth] day, which will be when we bat."
http://aftergrogblog.blogs.com/cricket/2013/08/fourth-test-riverside/comments/page/2/#comments

I totally missed the "filth" typo until just then. I read it as a Oscar Wilde-esque DOUBLE BACKHANDER, that a) Australia's bowling is weak enough for England to bat until the 5th day and b) how he left it hanging with "which will be when we bat." Dare I say cheekily unstated-but-implying an Oz batting collapse[?].

Reading too much into it, nick?

[Big Ramifications]

ps: Momentum rhymes with "greater omentum."

The greater omentum is a sheath of fat located on top of the abdominal muscles in humans. It is much more pronounced on the male of the species.

A greater omentum containing a large number of fat cells is sometimes referred to as a "verandah over the toolshed."

As you were, gentlemen.

[Tony Tea]

Biggy, I am always reluctant to claim hacks have, ahem, ganked my posts or ideas or whatever since there are so many similar ideas floating around in cyberspace.

Nevertheless, there was one recent example from after the first Test at Trent Bridge where one of my posts appeared almost holus bolus elsewhere online. It had been changed just enough to dodge an accusation of dodgy. No names, no hack drill, but it was "written" by someone who reads the AGB and used in one of the English papers, probably under the assumption I or an AGB frequenter would not see it.

[m0nty]

Biggy bang.

[Nick]

I did type 'filth' day, as I believed that we would be batting to win the match on the fifth day, and we would, as THE LIST shows, deliver filth.

However, we didn't even get to day 5. I'm filthy about that.

[Tony Tea]

On tonight's ABC news Nathan Lyon just said it was important Australia did well in the current match to help with momentum going into the Filth Test. Drop him.

[nick]

Watson's groin injury magically gets better - thanks to doctor releasing tension in his groin using special techniques.

"I'm a ring-in captain so I have no idea, absolutely none," he said of the batting order. "I'm told where we're all to bat and we moved on. I know not to interpret things. It might get me into trouble."

What a tosser.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/the-ashes-2013/content/story/663121.html

[Big Ramifications]

Hoh. Lee. Crap.

Watson sounds like a 12 year old.

That quote has just entered my Top 3 "Did I Really Just Read What I Thought I Just Read?" moments in sport.

// And yeah.... cop a load of his fake injury in the previous Test! So bad he couldn't even finish the over. And how's the stupid look on his face as he trudged off?!! If you ever had a Picture Dictionary and looked up the definition of "face you just want to punch" then that would be the definition.

[Gloviating Bloater]

I did wonder whether you lot were overdoing the Watson hate, but now I think you might be underdoing it.

[Tony Tea]

Watson is to Australian cricket what Michael Bolton is to Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay.

[I Will Kick Some Ass]

This Australian list is indeed terrible.

Hunger Games the movie is for those that don't know how to read. And hopefully those that do read, can discount the novel entirely as 1984 with makeup for preteens who need happy endings.

Solaris is a terrible remake. Avatar, while visually stunning, is nothing more than Pocahontas.

John Carter = utter detritus. I Robot doesn't deserve to share the name with Asimov's collection. And Cloverfield? Really? Come on.

It is blatantly apparent that our list-master here is concerned with one thing, colors on the screen. What about A Scanner Darkly, The fountain, Idiocracy, V for Vendetta, Pandorum, Primer, and even Despicable Me. Primer did with only a fraction of the cost what most of the movies on this list couldn't come close to with millions.

The saddest part about the Australian list? That whoever wrote it has been an imdb member for 13 years! That means 13 years ago this person felt compelled enough to sign up and appreciate movies

Generally with science fiction you have to sift through the crap. This person is sifting with a hoola-hoop whilst admiring the pretty lights. My Top ten of 2000-2012, in no particular order (because that's just too difficult):

Inception
Serenity
Primer
A Scanner Darkly
Your Momma's Cat
A Scanner Darkly
Minority Report
District 9
The Fountain
Star Trek (reluctantly).\
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Moon

[nick]

So Bresnan is Watto's 'tormentor' with two lbw dismissals, but Clarke will coach him out of it (dismissed 6 times by Broad).

[Tony Tea]

as someone who loved the old Edgar Rice Burroughs "John Carter" novels, I was shattered the movie was so much slop. Not that I expected any different.

[Nick]

Pat Cummins has Nomentum.

Bruce Reid 2.

[Tony Tea]

Greatest ever one Test wonder.

[Tony Tea]

No doubt Barnwell (or his subby) reads the AGB.

[Tony Tea]

Tendulkar starts with a number.

[m0nty]

Shameful plagiarisation by Barnwell there, poor form.

[Tony Tea]

I've never thought Stuart Broad was Public Enemy No.1, but I've always thought him a bit of a dick. That was until he uttered the M-word:

"We need to keep throwing punches and damaging these players. There is a lot of cricket against these guys and if we give them momentum they are a dangerous enough side to hurt us.”

[lou]

Bit cheeky by Barnwell not to do the (TT,2013 - link) reference in his article.

I'll bet he gets a C- for that.

Perhaps Watson is just a piss-taker on a very wide scale? His latest stuff sounds like he's hired a scriptwriter from 'We Can Be Heroes'.

[Cameron]

You beat me to that Barnwell link.

The chap,imho, seems to get a lot wrong NFL wise so good to see he has taste when it comes to cricket blogs.