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Cameron

It was Prattesh Hathrashan. The infamous switch-hitter from Pitigalith (a city founded by Irish Catholic missionaries).

Tony Tea

No wonder he was drunk.

Cameron

As you're no doubt aware, Pitigalith is located in the mountainous region of Western Sri Lanka Tony.

Famous for it's Trappist brewery's red labelled sparkling ales and hard-right Bandar Palacak Party (பழசக் பந்தர்) politics led by the mayor Gus Gurushina, who is often described in the Western media as 'the Silvio Burlosconi of west Sri Lanakan politics' given his vast media and sporting interests.

Cameron

UPDATE: Mr. Prattard has attributed his heroic attempted escape from Anglo Airways as due to a allergic reaction to the stewardesses Redcoats.

Dan

I've tugged away for two minutes on many a long flight. It's hardly news, Tony.

As for trying to open doors at 35,000ft, I wouldn't - but you can't, anyway, on account of the air pressure differential, see.

Only a week or so away now, and my man in the know at Trent Bridge is predicting a green seamer. Having seen your bowlers showing flashes of something or other, I'm not sure that's a good thing. We shall see!

(I'm liking your work there, Cameron.)

Dan

Ah... I've just followed your link, Tony. I thought as much.

vaughnysswingers

feeling a bit nervous now Tony, we are not the batting force of 18 months ago and there must be concerns over Swann's fitness, as for the Sri Lankan, Marsh, Boon and Walters would show him how to drink at altitude and not make a complete dick of yourself

Tony Buhagiar

MORE PISS!

Tony Tea

Shenanigans, again?

Tony Tea

Vaughny, our last hope is for England to get cocky.

Big Ramifications

Jeez, took me a while.

FYI AGB-ites, click on the Tony Buhagiar link above to discover that Tony Tea always makes sense. Oh yeah, and somewhere in that link it also sheds light on my comment.

Thus sprach Tony: Ein Buch für Alle und Keinen

M. Patard

Speaking of Prattesh Hathrashan, one of the many things that have stuck in my craw was you, YOU!, upbraiding me for the use of the word eulogy, incorrectly!

I.Was.Right. All along:

eu·lo·gy (yl-j)
n. pl. eu·lo·gies
1. A laudatory speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died.
2. High praise or commendation.

Tony Tea

Tony Buhagiar upbraided you for using "eulogy"?

M. Patard

Well he's a cunt too, then.

Speaking of which, this song should have been written by an Ozzie.

It always struck me as strange that a bunch of Sweaties would sing about a big country with reference to Scotland. Much like I thought it must have been ironic that Christophe Lambert was picked to play the Highlander when everyone knows, who's ever been born from one, we're all short, keg legged, dwarf like angry prickly pricks.

I repeat: eulogy is High praise or commendation, not just reserved for funerals.

M. Patard

It slowly dawns on me I'm missing the point. Again.

M. Patard

Speaking of names, the resurrection of James Bond in the modern context stemming from Casino Royale owes allot to Chris Cornell of Soundgarden fame.

That movie packed a whole lot.

I always thought Alice Cooper's attempt a worthy effort, much better than most who succeeded. Perhaps it was too derivative.

And to bring this full circle, I'm tipping the British and Irish Lions tonight by 12. Tomorrow, it will be Deans taking a Jesus Christ Pose.

M. Patard

Why women shouldn't write sports:

Eyes may wander from the British Lions game tonight to catch a glimpse of James Bond's alter ego, Daniel Craig, among the crowd, after he arrived in Sydney for the final match this morning

It's the British AND Irish Lions, you stupid gapped toothed, man-woman hybrid. Furthermore, no one who gives a shit, gives a shit that Daniel Craig is flying in for the game, you weak kneed, cavernous vulva'd, whore of doom.

For that reason alone I'm reversing my tip. Deans Cock Wallabies (a pun on Rock Wallabies-nothing more) by a penalty fest.

Who's the ref? Not that Joubert I hope.

M. Patard

And on that point of just how useless and pathetic the Oz media are with anything, especially sports now that it's become a wymins fest, what does it take to have wall to wall praise for Orica-GreenEDGE's feats this past week?

Gerrans wins a stage, courtesy of a brilliant lead by Impey, then the team takes the maillot jaune, Gerrans wears it for two days, then, under instructions (an the fact he and Impey room together, eat together, and with the rest of them are a team together) he happily, and deliberately hands it to Impey for South Africa's first ever yellow jersey!

Gerry Ryan should be the talk of the town:

He made his name as a caravan tycoon who has capitalised that success to several international business interests, most of which are not sport related.

A Melbourne Cup winner with the race horse Americain, Gerry also has a huge interest in NRL premiers Melbourne Storm, while stage productions he has bankrolled have been taken to Broadway.

Gerry Ryan brought to Melbourne King Kong, on which sword Eddie "falafel" McGuire, never fell.

Here's to Gerry, here's to the Irish influence on Oz sports, let alone culture.

Tony Tea

I thought of you watching Father Brown. He would find you fertile ground for his Catholic deductions.

M. Patard

I'm gonna watch Father Brown. I hope it stays true to character.

My Dad used to read Father Brown to us when we were kids. G. K. Chesterton is one of my favourite writers of all time. One of his Father Brown stories, about this lunatic who pushed statues off the top of buildings was my favourite.

The lunatic said, when finally caught, something like: "I've been tried once, and they found me insane. Now I can do anything! And there's nothing you can do about it."

One of my favourite other writers of all time is Edgar Allen Poe (besides Damon Runyon).
Just the other day I saw this story and couldn't but help think of The Cask of Amontillado

Anyway, kickoff. Genia knock on. Try!

We're in for a shock tonight, a shock I tell's ya!

M. Patard

And the penalties just keep on coming.

M. Patard

He would find you fertile ground for his Catholic deductions.

Speaking of which, did you know that Chesterton saw our age in complete perspicacity?

He wrote a novel about, The Flying Inn.

The Flying Inn is a novel first published in 1914 by G. K. Chesterton. It is set in a future England where the Temperance movement has allowed a bizarre form of "Progressive" Islam to dominate the political and social life of the country. Because of this, alcohol sales to the poor are effectively prohibited, while the rich can get alcoholic drinks "under a medical certificate". The plot centres on the adventures of Humphrey Pump and Captain Patrick Dalroy, who roam the country in their cart with a barrel of rum in an attempt to evade Prohibition, exploiting loopholes in the law to temporarily prevent the police taking action against them. Eventually the heroes and their followers foil an attempted coup by an Islamic military force.

M. Patard

The Rolling English Road
by G.K.Chesterton

Before the Roman came to Rye or out to Severn strode,
The rolling English drunkard made the rolling English road.
A reeling road, a rolling road, that rambles round the shire,
And after him the parson ran, the sexton and the squire;
A merry road, a mazy road, and such as we did tread
The night we went to Birmingham by way of Beachy Head.

I knew no harm of Bonaparte and plenty of the Squire,
And for to fight the Frenchman I did not much desire;
But I did bash their baggonets because they came arrayed
To straighten out the crooked road an English drunkard made,
Where you and I went down the lane with ale-mugs in our hands,
The night we went to Glastonbury by way of Goodwin Sands.

His sins they were forgiven him; or why do flowers run
Behind him; and the hedges all strengthening in the sun?
The wild thing went from left to right and knew not which was which,
But the wild rose was above him when they found him in the ditch.
God pardon us, nor harden us; we did not see so clear
The night we went to Bannockburn by way of Brighton Pier.

My friends, we will not go again or ape an ancient rage,
Or stretch the folly of our youth to be the shame of age,
But walk with clearer eyes and ears this path that wandereth,
And see undrugged in evening light the decent inn of death;
For there is good news yet to hear and fine things to be seen,
Before we go to Paradise by way of Kensal Green.

M. Patard

Btw, if you are feeling weirded out by my references, they have nothing to do with you. Just, they keep on popping up, in life.

Nemo me impune lacessit is the Latin motto of the Order of the Thistle and of three Scottish regiments of the British Army.

It means, "No one attacks me with impunity". Thus why I tip the British AND Irish Lions.

19-3.

Fraser Brown's father

Father McKenzie, writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. No one comes near. Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there. What does he care?

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came. Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave. No one was saved.

All the lonely people where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

M. Patard

Mark 8:23-25

And taking the blind man by the hand, he led him out of the town; and spitting upon his eyes, laying his hands on him, he asked him if he saw any thing.

And looking up, he said: I see men as it were trees, walking.

After that again he laid his hands upon his eyes, and he began to see, and was restored, so that he saw all things clearly.

Halftime: 19-10.

What goes on sounds very much like the Warumpi Band.

(Meant to save that last one up if the Ozzies can escape this).

M. Patard

One for Deans at the end of this match.

M. Patard

Oh, what a shame. To think my money's coming home to roost. 12 points my friends.

In the name of non-partisan international non-national sportsmanship, I'd just like to decaler my non-racist hand and say, the best White team won the day and, your mob done good, played hard.

Till then...

M. Patard

Decaler is French for declare.

M. Patard

Too bad all the barroom heroes play for the other side. Mwahahahaha

That one's going out to you fuckin faggot fool, FitZeeeeeee!

M. Patard

It just keeps on getting better, and betterer.

M. Patard

For every North Shore merchant banking "Ozzie", for every Fairfax "journalist", for Tim Blair and his jingoism, for the CEO, for the PM, for every non-racist, PC makes you stupid fuckhead, for every private school accountant, their attendant plumbers, the gastroenterologists, the pipe cleaners, the bum healers aka proctologists, prognosticators, masturbators, for evry person who has ever slimed me as a redneck, as a bogan, every Andrew Bolt, every Barrie Cassidy, this one's going out to you (41-16): Get. Fucked.

M. Patard

For the FX dealer who abused me when his phone went down no fault due to me - fuck YOU buddeee.

Take your coke addled nose up to the Cross and scrape it across the pedestrian crossing outside of McDonalds, you inbred, malicious, White hating, up yourself, pampered fool. Take a sniff of the ill wind, it's all around. My only prayer is that all your visitations are visited upon thee.

M. Patard

The very same Union adoring cunt who accused me, ME, of racism. Laughing at you and your coconuts - Frank.

M. Patard

At least the stories about Israel Folau might being the next saviour ease up for a while.

As Stephanie Rise so beautifully put it: "Suck on that, faggots."

M. Patard

This game has inspired me, no more nationalistic jingoism for me, no sirree. I'm a non-nationalist sport loving, non-tragic, fanatic. I go for anyone, anywhere, anytime, so long as they're White.

M. Patard

Don't, stop, thinking about tomorrow. Grin.

I've seen the light AGBers, I've at last seen the wisdom of your ways. None of this racist nationalist stuff for me. The winning's too enjoyable to miss out on. Andrew Bolt would be proud.

M. Patard

Naw, for Fraser Brown's father, for all the non-racist AGBers, for all those right-eous Ozzies out there. 41-16 doesn't mean a thing. A mere scoreline. It has no replication in real life, don;t excpect things to work out the same way in your occupations.

After all, we all know, we've all been told for the umpteenth time, everyone's a winner. And that's the truth. When you're in the minority, things will go on, just as they were, just the same.

M. Patard

Ok, I'll leave off. In response to Bolt's standard post: "Pass on your tips here. Unfortunately, no moderators means no comments can be published." I posted:


Tip #1: This is a shocking video of Franciscan Father Franciscus Mourad, Martyr, being beheaded by Syrian rebels. Do not watch if you don’t think you can stomach it: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ead_1372329728

This is an edited version of the video: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2352251/Horrific-video-shows-Syrian-Catholic-priest-beheaded-jihadist-fighters-cheering-crowd.html

Tip#2:Brendon O'Connell still in jail for "anti-semitism", aka as the free speech you defend, and get so righteous about.

Let's see what he goes with. After all, he is a conservative.

M. Patard

Cadel Evans comes in, losing 4 minutes and 13 seconds to Chris Froome (British by way of Africa) and Ozzie (by way of Tasmania)Richie Porte.

Geez, ya gotta hand it to these blokes. That was hard just watching them.

So much better than watching Fitzee's mates run about the paddock for 80 lame minutes. More Le Tour, less Le Fuckwitz.

M. Patard

Gotta admire Chris Froome, and Richie Porte. They just attacked, and attacked, till there were none left, even in their wake.

There's a lesson there.

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