THIRD TEST: SCG

New Year's dead rubber, retirements, rotations and rawsharks. 

Comments

[The Don has risen]

It should be Paine.

The problem with this side has always been too many victorians!!!

[Tony Tea]

2002: Nasser Hussain sends Australia in to bat in Brisbane. 2005: Ricky Ponting sends England in to bat at Edgbaston. 2013: Michael Clarke sends Sri Lanka in to bat at the SCG.

"So chumpy you could carve it."

[@TKYC]

Monsieur Patard... Slatts getting a huge push from Nein execs... amazing to see him on the NRL Footy Show, which seems to be dying a slow death. Was once quite funny, but now is tooth-achingly PAINFUL TV. Fatty looks to be happy collecting cheques, and otherwise not giving a toss.

"I thought this was the Syderrney Test post"

[Carrot]

Whether I'd wear it to the cricket or not, the tie is well-tied. A good half-Windsor. Mark of a proper gentleman. Thumbs up.

[Carrot]

Whether I'd wear it to the cricket or not, the tie is well-tied. A good half-Windsor. Mark of a proper gentleman. Thumbs up.

[The Don has risen]

We need to remember they have only one and a half batsmen ( not even sri) in this match and they are both batting.

[m0nty]

I will never get tired of watching the dumbfounded look on the face of VVS after that sensational Junior catch.

[The Don has risen]

you only wear a full windsor!

good ball from bird

[Tony Tea]

I can't agree it was a sensational catch, M0nty. VVS was amazed because he'd his a half tracker down Waugh's throat.

[M. Patard]

Ian Chappell praises Parker's work in turning the SCG into every other pitch in Australia.

Bird, btw, is too good to be true.

[M. Patard]

The NRL Footy Show needs to be shot. Out of a cannon preferably.

[The Don has risen]

This match is being played in Sydanee. Name officially changed after 2000

[m0nty]

The amazing bit about that Junior catch, as I recall, was that it was a richochet off the back of the short leg. With none of the pace taken off it.

[Carrot]

Good Lord, Aleem Dar over-ruled by DRS? That just doesn't happen.

[m0nty]

There was a poofteenth in that.

[Carrot]

Healy has got it all wrong about the sight-screen thing. In those days the sight screen was on the ground, and it four if you hit the top of it on the full. Steve Waugh could have run around it all he wanted and still be in the field of play.

[Tony Tea]

Cricket Australia should make me an umpire. My Tweet, the instant it hit the pads:

Not out. Outside leg.

[The Don has risen]

so if the fast bowler tweets he would be a tweety bird?

[M. Patard]

If anyone wants to catch up with me at the SCG tomorrow, I'll be the one on the beach in cravat and culottes, baguette in one hand, brie in the other, with a garçon attending to me with a selection from the champagne region.

Bring your own canapés.

[The Don has risen]

don't you mean guillotine?

[Tony Tea]

Slippe, sloppe, slappe.

[M. Patard]

2/80 is a good 1st session for both sides.

[The Don has risen]

as M0nty Python would say things have gone exactly as I predicted except they are not even Sri down at present.

Clarke has shown brilliant captaincy. Obviously has studied Xerxes in detail

[M. Patard]

Mon Dieu, you bouffon!

Guillotine is a Belgian beer.

(http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/180/3976)

[M. Patard]

Our history teacher in Year 8 encouraged us to remember Xerxes with Sex Rex.

Now I'm not so sure whether it wasn't really some sort of subliminal suggestion.

[Tony Tea]

Six King?

[M. Patard]

Yes, he was a Kiwi too.

[The Don has risen]

that beer has a great head on it.

I tried ancient history but it was all greek to me.

[M. Patard]

History at a Christian Brothers school helped us to develop a great 'hind sight.

[m0nty]

Let's look in Shameless's kit bag! Well whodathunkit, it's got cricket gear in it. Bloody amazing.

All for sale on Gumtree after the Test, Ritz style.

[m0nty]

Also allowed the Brothers to get a sight of your 'hinds, Pat.

[M. Patard]

Is this a replay of Mr Cricket's cricket kit or is it an update?

[Tony Tea]

A replay of Hussey unpacking his kit-bag should be in super-hi-res-slo-mo. Sigh. A new lo.

[m0nty]

Idea for new Annabel Crabb show: just as Nine goes through cricketers' kit bags, she rummages in MPs' overnight bags. Call it Bathroom Cabinet.

[Tony Tea]

Jock Campbell (Fitness guru) looks like Brad Hodge (Little Deano).

[Tony Tea]

Followed by Bathroom Cabinet - Director's Cut. By God, we're onto something.

[m0nty]

I can't wait to see what brand of deodorant Kate Ellis uses.

[m0nty]

Pushing the Boundaries, a CA production starring Slotty, hmm. Is it a DVD of him slagging off Dave Gilbert?

Hmm, come to think of it, I might buy that for a dollar.

[m0nty]

Should be called Conceding the Boundaries, that was Slotty's specialty.

[m0nty]

The Mahalo2Mahela test is going well for the old bugger so far. Finally showing us some quality.

[Carrot]

Siddle's been a mite expensive lately.

[Tony Tea]

Bet the Australian National Bowling Group Unit is jealous that B.I.G. Bird is already the best bowler.

[M. Patard]

Siddle is more suited to being 3rd string bowler. If we had Pattinson, Bird, Siddle, that would be a pretty good attack. Rotate the Patto position with Starc, Cummins, Harris, Johnson.

[Tony Tea]

Siddle is not in our best three quicks if Bird, Cummins, Starc and/or Pattinson have their shit together.

[M. Patard]

Was that Lleyton Hewitt that just ran across the sight screen? C'mon!!!

[M. Patard]

Yeah, but, Cummins and Patto are rotation bowlers.

[Carrot]

I wonder whether Siddle is better when he's genuinely leading the attack, and/or when we really need him. A lot of his better performancs have come when we've been struggling - earlier in the summer when Pattinson was crocked for instance, and/or the Ashes Boxing Day debacle when he took 6fer. He doesn't seem the same bowler when there are other bowlers around him who are all dangerous options.

[M. Patard]

Rotation bowlers do not appear in the same team concurrently. This is the 1st Law of Rotation Bowlers.

[Tony Tea]

I've said it before and I'll say it again - we are up shit creek if Siddle is our No.1 bowler.

[The Don has risen]

I am watching JAG on 11.

Catherine Bell is very pleasant to watch!!

This test is going as i predicted.

Call me Malcolm MAcKerras

[M. Patard]

Siddle's role is to be the lionheart when the strike bowlers have had rotation injuries mid-match. He's in-dis-pensable! in this new era.

[M. Patard]

The medium is the message Don?

[Carrot]

Have they mentioned why Hussey is wearing two black armbands? Is he a CMJ fan?

[Tony Tea]

Hussey is a Bennelong fan, who died on January 3 1813.

[M. Patard]

I like the way Bird bowls in the "really good corridor". Unlike Johnson who bowls in the sometimes good, quite often bad, corridor.

Thanks Slats.

[M. Patard]

As in taken to England and made a name for himself?

[M. Patard]

But Baneelon, though haughty, knew how to temporize. He quickly threw off
all reserve; and pretended, nay, at particular moments, perhaps felt
satisfaction in his new state. Unlike poor Arabanoo, he became at once fond
of our viands, and would drink the strongest liquors, not simply
without reluctance, but with eager marks of delight and enjoyment.

Baneelon is Bennelong, from Watkin Tench's "A Complete Account of the Settlement at Port Jackson".

[Tony Tea]

I still cannot believe we picked four quicks and sent the Shrees in - on this fvcken pitch.

[Tony Tea]

Dead rubber dumb.

[The Don has risen]

Siddle is the Lionheart ?

who is Saladin then? Is Lam?

[m0nty]

Again a random edge, again it doesn't strike pink-bedaubed English ash or cream-bedecked fieldsman. Studsy's luck has run out.

[m0nty]

Studsy has run out of genuine ideas, so he's going to try breaking their fingers with short filth.

[M. Patard]

The four quicks thing is really just to give them all a bowl. Match fitness, that sort of thing.

[Tony Tea]

That can be the only conclusion. The NSP is treating this dead rubber as a practice match.

[@TKYC]

Dead Rubber, Dead set draw.
Broadcast partners happy... 5 days of scheduled advertising disguised as cricket.

[Carrot]

Jeez Mont - you're a harsh man, aren't you? This looks like a pretty good burst to me.

[m0nty]

The Warne-Muralitharan Vodachrome Sydney SCG Net Session.

[m0nty]

He doesn't move it sideways, Carrot. Fast bowlers should move it sideways. Otherwise they prove no trouble to good batsmen on half-decent decks.

[Tony Tea]

Mitchell is back at his "if you don't drive, you won't get out" worst.

[Tony Tea]

This Tweet from Benno sums it ip:

the NSP bottled it. no obvious quick to leave out, none due to be rotated. backed themselves into a corner and peed their pants

[M. Patard]

On the review, I think Stark just said "Oh, for fuck's sake."

[Tony Tea]

I know he said "Oh, for fuck's sake." But I love a post-wicket referral. Cricket would be sooo boring without them.

[M. Patard]

Hard Core's soft hands brought to you by Oil of Ulan.

I'd love to be his manager. The contracts I could bring.

[Tony Tea]

Test cricket would be sooo boring without post-wicket reviews. Tests need complex drama innovations to increase stakeholder buy-in.

[M. Patard]

"Whenever I've gone on a run of streaky tons and double tons, I always thank Christophe Robin for his range of hair care products. Thanks, Christophe."

[M. Patard]

This review has been brought to you by Slater & Gordon, the compensation specialists. If there's any doubt, we'll find you not out. Tell 'em Julia sent ya!"

[Carrot]

Oh Gilly, no - you didn't name your kid "Preston". Come on.

[Carrot]

Oh, everyone relax, it's Brett Lee. To be expected.

[M. Patard]

Why is Slats making such a big deal about the chest guard "boogie board"?

He himself played with a helmet, forearm guard, and massive thigh pad. What, was he gutless?

[Tony Tea]

Walked for LB. Plumb.

[m0nty]

Movement off the pitch with the old ball to winkle a wicket out of nothing, that's what Siddle is in the side for.

[M. Patard]

Sizzler the broccoli heart, strikes again.

[M. Patard]

Hard Core's brought a real Carnivàle atmosphere to the cricket with his bowling change ups.

[M. Patard]

That was really stupid bowling Hussey right on Tea, just after a wicket had fallen.

[Carrot]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh...... I know that the Jane McGrath Foundation does good work and all that, but can't we just watch the cricket without something being spruiked every five minutes? That's the one thing that Sky Sports DOES have over Nine - they've got Botham and he's a dick, but at least they're not selling something all the time!

[m0nty]

All five bowlers are too tired, evidently. It says so in a spreadsheet.

[m0nty]

Might be more of an over rates thing. We're losing three overs a session as it is. Wouldn't want Pup to get suspended for the Indian tour.

[Tony Tea]

Hussey looks at the ball coming out of his hand. Odd.

[Tony Tea]

Let's get this in before the next KFC ad, I mean, Classic Catches: The Terrorist's catch last night was better than Mark Waugh's off VVS.

[Tony Tea]

Waugh's catch off VVS may have been great according to Tawny but if he dropped it Tawny would have said "he really should have caught that."

[M. Patard]

Reflex catches, whilst always impressively spectacular to watch, aren't as good as a catch like Steve Waugh's near that sight screen.

Reflex catches you don't think about, just do. Steve Waugh would have been trying to sight the ball, keep tracking it, running towards the fence, team mate also running to the same location, then at the end negotiate the sight screen.

[M. Patard]

That collision with Gillespie is what it could have ended up like.

[M. Patard]

One of the good things I very much liked about Tawney Greig is he had a great eye for ladies. That one he spotted was pure glamour.

[M. Patard]

Talking shit for 20 odd years is no easy feat either, when you think about it.

[m0nty]

Reflex catches, whilst always impressively spectacular to watch, aren't as good as a catch like Steve Waugh's near that sight screen.

Tugga's catch took guts, anyone could have caught it as it wasn't all that difficult technically. Junior's catch took skill and hard work, only a high level player could have caught it.

One of the underappreciated things about reflex is how much repetition goes into creating muscle memory to make reflex actions successful. I respect that sort of dedication to perfecting a craft.

[Carrot]

That's why I think Wade's catch the other day was a genuine ripper.

One of the things that made Mark Waugh's catch so great was VVS's reaction to it. I was slightly disappointed later on to realise that he always did that when he got out.

[Carrot]

Oh God - NOT THE PRIVATE SCHOOL CONVERSATION AGAIN. I'm losing the will to live!

[M. Patard]

anyone could have caught it as it wasn't all that difficult technically

No way. I'd challenge anyone to take that catch if I had one of those NRL ball shooters and shit it out there for them to catch.

Not belittling M Waugh's catch, just that he probably dropped just as many he caught in like circumstances.

[M. Patard]

NOT THE PRIVATE SCHOOL CONVERSATION AGAIN

Who's talking about it now? KoK?

[M. Patard]

sorry, "shot it out there".