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The Don has risen

It should be Paine.

The problem with this side has always been too many victorians!!!

Tony Tea

2002: Nasser Hussain sends Australia in to bat in Brisbane. 2005: Ricky Ponting sends England in to bat at Edgbaston. 2013: Michael Clarke sends Sri Lanka in to bat at the SCG.

"So chumpy you could carve it."

@TKYC

Monsieur Patard... Slatts getting a huge push from Nein execs... amazing to see him on the NRL Footy Show, which seems to be dying a slow death. Was once quite funny, but now is tooth-achingly PAINFUL TV. Fatty looks to be happy collecting cheques, and otherwise not giving a toss.

"I thought this was the Syderrney Test post"

Carrot

Whether I'd wear it to the cricket or not, the tie is well-tied. A good half-Windsor. Mark of a proper gentleman. Thumbs up.

Carrot

Whether I'd wear it to the cricket or not, the tie is well-tied. A good half-Windsor. Mark of a proper gentleman. Thumbs up.

The Don has risen

We need to remember they have only one and a half batsmen ( not even sri) in this match and they are both batting.

m0nty

I will never get tired of watching the dumbfounded look on the face of VVS after that sensational Junior catch.

The Don has risen

you only wear a full windsor!

good ball from bird

Tony Tea

I can't agree it was a sensational catch, M0nty. VVS was amazed because he'd his a half tracker down Waugh's throat.

M. Patard

Ian Chappell praises Parker's work in turning the SCG into every other pitch in Australia.

Bird, btw, is too good to be true.

M. Patard

The NRL Footy Show needs to be shot. Out of a cannon preferably.

The Don has risen

This match is being played in Sydanee. Name officially changed after 2000

m0nty

The amazing bit about that Junior catch, as I recall, was that it was a richochet off the back of the short leg. With none of the pace taken off it.

Carrot

Good Lord, Aleem Dar over-ruled by DRS? That just doesn't happen.

m0nty

There was a poofteenth in that.

Carrot

Healy has got it all wrong about the sight-screen thing. In those days the sight screen was on the ground, and it four if you hit the top of it on the full. Steve Waugh could have run around it all he wanted and still be in the field of play.

Tony Tea

Cricket Australia should make me an umpire. My Tweet, the instant it hit the pads:

Not out. Outside leg.
The Don has risen

so if the fast bowler tweets he would be a tweety bird?

M. Patard

If anyone wants to catch up with me at the SCG tomorrow, I'll be the one on the beach in cravat and culottes, baguette in one hand, brie in the other, with a garçon attending to me with a selection from the champagne region.

Bring your own canapés.

The Don has risen

don't you mean guillotine?

Tony Tea

Slippe, sloppe, slappe.

M. Patard

2/80 is a good 1st session for both sides.

The Don has risen

as M0nty Python would say things have gone exactly as I predicted except they are not even Sri down at present.

Clarke has shown brilliant captaincy. Obviously has studied Xerxes in detail

M. Patard

Mon Dieu, you bouffon!

Guillotine is a Belgian beer.

(http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/180/3976)

M. Patard

Our history teacher in Year 8 encouraged us to remember Xerxes with Sex Rex.

Now I'm not so sure whether it wasn't really some sort of subliminal suggestion.

Tony Tea

Six King?

M. Patard

Yes, he was a Kiwi too.

The Don has risen

that beer has a great head on it.

I tried ancient history but it was all greek to me.

M. Patard

History at a Christian Brothers school helped us to develop a great 'hind sight.

m0nty

Let's look in Shameless's kit bag! Well whodathunkit, it's got cricket gear in it. Bloody amazing.

All for sale on Gumtree after the Test, Ritz style.

m0nty

Also allowed the Brothers to get a sight of your 'hinds, Pat.

M. Patard

Is this a replay of Mr Cricket's cricket kit or is it an update?

Tony Tea

A replay of Hussey unpacking his kit-bag should be in super-hi-res-slo-mo. Sigh. A new lo.

m0nty

Idea for new Annabel Crabb show: just as Nine goes through cricketers' kit bags, she rummages in MPs' overnight bags. Call it Bathroom Cabinet.

Tony Tea

Jock Campbell (Fitness guru) looks like Brad Hodge (Little Deano).

Tony Tea

Followed by Bathroom Cabinet - Director's Cut. By God, we're onto something.

m0nty

I can't wait to see what brand of deodorant Kate Ellis uses.

m0nty

Pushing the Boundaries, a CA production starring Slotty, hmm. Is it a DVD of him slagging off Dave Gilbert?

Hmm, come to think of it, I might buy that for a dollar.

m0nty

Should be called Conceding the Boundaries, that was Slotty's specialty.

m0nty

The Mahalo2Mahela test is going well for the old bugger so far. Finally showing us some quality.

Carrot

Siddle's been a mite expensive lately.

Tony Tea

Bet the Australian National Bowling Group Unit is jealous that B.I.G. Bird is already the best bowler.

M. Patard

Siddle is more suited to being 3rd string bowler. If we had Pattinson, Bird, Siddle, that would be a pretty good attack. Rotate the Patto position with Starc, Cummins, Harris, Johnson.

Tony Tea

Siddle is not in our best three quicks if Bird, Cummins, Starc and/or Pattinson have their shit together.

M. Patard

Was that Lleyton Hewitt that just ran across the sight screen? C'mon!!!

M. Patard

Yeah, but, Cummins and Patto are rotation bowlers.

Carrot

I wonder whether Siddle is better when he's genuinely leading the attack, and/or when we really need him. A lot of his better performancs have come when we've been struggling - earlier in the summer when Pattinson was crocked for instance, and/or the Ashes Boxing Day debacle when he took 6fer. He doesn't seem the same bowler when there are other bowlers around him who are all dangerous options.

M. Patard

Rotation bowlers do not appear in the same team concurrently. This is the 1st Law of Rotation Bowlers.

Tony Tea

I've said it before and I'll say it again - we are up shit creek if Siddle is our No.1 bowler.

The Don has risen

I am watching JAG on 11.

Catherine Bell is very pleasant to watch!!

This test is going as i predicted.

Call me Malcolm MAcKerras

M. Patard

Siddle's role is to be the lionheart when the strike bowlers have had rotation injuries mid-match. He's in-dis-pensable! in this new era.

M. Patard

The medium is the message Don?

Carrot

Have they mentioned why Hussey is wearing two black armbands? Is he a CMJ fan?

Tony Tea

Hussey is a Bennelong fan, who died on January 3 1813.

M. Patard

I like the way Bird bowls in the "really good corridor". Unlike Johnson who bowls in the sometimes good, quite often bad, corridor.

Thanks Slats.

M. Patard

As in taken to England and made a name for himself?

M. Patard

But Baneelon, though haughty, knew how to temporize. He quickly threw off
all reserve; and pretended, nay, at particular moments, perhaps felt
satisfaction in his new state. Unlike poor Arabanoo, he became at once fond
of our viands, and would drink the strongest liquors, not simply
without reluctance, but with eager marks of delight and enjoyment.

Baneelon is Bennelong, from Watkin Tench's "A Complete Account of the Settlement at Port Jackson".

Tony Tea

I still cannot believe we picked four quicks and sent the Shrees in - on this fvcken pitch.

Tony Tea

Dead rubber dumb.

The Don has risen

Siddle is the Lionheart ?

who is Saladin then? Is Lam?

m0nty

Again a random edge, again it doesn't strike pink-bedaubed English ash or cream-bedecked fieldsman. Studsy's luck has run out.

m0nty

Studsy has run out of genuine ideas, so he's going to try breaking their fingers with short filth.

M. Patard

The four quicks thing is really just to give them all a bowl. Match fitness, that sort of thing.

Tony Tea

That can be the only conclusion. The NSP is treating this dead rubber as a practice match.

@TKYC

Dead Rubber, Dead set draw.
Broadcast partners happy... 5 days of scheduled advertising disguised as cricket.

Carrot

Jeez Mont - you're a harsh man, aren't you? This looks like a pretty good burst to me.

m0nty

The Warne-Muralitharan Vodachrome Sydney SCG Net Session.

m0nty

He doesn't move it sideways, Carrot. Fast bowlers should move it sideways. Otherwise they prove no trouble to good batsmen on half-decent decks.

Tony Tea

Mitchell is back at his "if you don't drive, you won't get out" worst.

Tony Tea

This Tweet from Benno sums it ip:

the NSP bottled it. no obvious quick to leave out, none due to be rotated. backed themselves into a corner and peed their pants
M. Patard

On the review, I think Stark just said "Oh, for fuck's sake."

Tony Tea

I know he said "Oh, for fuck's sake." But I love a post-wicket referral. Cricket would be sooo boring without them.

M. Patard

Hard Core's soft hands brought to you by Oil of Ulan.

I'd love to be his manager. The contracts I could bring.

Tony Tea

Test cricket would be sooo boring without post-wicket reviews. Tests need complex drama innovations to increase stakeholder buy-in.

M. Patard

"Whenever I've gone on a run of streaky tons and double tons, I always thank Christophe Robin for his range of hair care products. Thanks, Christophe."

M. Patard

This review has been brought to you by Slater & Gordon, the compensation specialists. If there's any doubt, we'll find you not out. Tell 'em Julia sent ya!"

Carrot

Oh Gilly, no - you didn't name your kid "Preston". Come on.

Carrot

Oh, everyone relax, it's Brett Lee. To be expected.

M. Patard

Why is Slats making such a big deal about the chest guard "boogie board"?

He himself played with a helmet, forearm guard, and massive thigh pad. What, was he gutless?


Tony Tea

Walked for LB. Plumb.

m0nty

Movement off the pitch with the old ball to winkle a wicket out of nothing, that's what Siddle is in the side for.

M. Patard

Sizzler the broccoli heart, strikes again.

M. Patard

Hard Core's brought a real Carnivàle atmosphere to the cricket with his bowling change ups.

M. Patard

That was really stupid bowling Hussey right on Tea, just after a wicket had fallen.

Carrot

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh...... I know that the Jane McGrath Foundation does good work and all that, but can't we just watch the cricket without something being spruiked every five minutes? That's the one thing that Sky Sports DOES have over Nine - they've got Botham and he's a dick, but at least they're not selling something all the time!

m0nty

All five bowlers are too tired, evidently. It says so in a spreadsheet.

m0nty

Might be more of an over rates thing. We're losing three overs a session as it is. Wouldn't want Pup to get suspended for the Indian tour.

Tony Tea

Hussey looks at the ball coming out of his hand. Odd.

Tony Tea

Let's get this in before the next KFC ad, I mean, Classic Catches: The Terrorist's catch last night was better than Mark Waugh's off VVS.

Tony Tea

Waugh's catch off VVS may have been great according to Tawny but if he dropped it Tawny would have said "he really should have caught that."

M. Patard

Reflex catches, whilst always impressively spectacular to watch, aren't as good as a catch like Steve Waugh's near that sight screen.

Reflex catches you don't think about, just do. Steve Waugh would have been trying to sight the ball, keep tracking it, running towards the fence, team mate also running to the same location, then at the end negotiate the sight screen.

M. Patard

That collision with Gillespie is what it could have ended up like.

M. Patard

One of the good things I very much liked about Tawney Greig is he had a great eye for ladies. That one he spotted was pure glamour.

M. Patard

Talking shit for 20 odd years is no easy feat either, when you think about it.

m0nty
Reflex catches, whilst always impressively spectacular to watch, aren't as good as a catch like Steve Waugh's near that sight screen.

Tugga's catch took guts, anyone could have caught it as it wasn't all that difficult technically. Junior's catch took skill and hard work, only a high level player could have caught it.

One of the underappreciated things about reflex is how much repetition goes into creating muscle memory to make reflex actions successful. I respect that sort of dedication to perfecting a craft.

Carrot

That's why I think Wade's catch the other day was a genuine ripper.

One of the things that made Mark Waugh's catch so great was VVS's reaction to it. I was slightly disappointed later on to realise that he always did that when he got out.

Carrot

Oh God - NOT THE PRIVATE SCHOOL CONVERSATION AGAIN. I'm losing the will to live!

M. Patard

anyone could have caught it as it wasn't all that difficult technically

No way. I'd challenge anyone to take that catch if I had one of those NRL ball shooters and shit it out there for them to catch.

Not belittling M Waugh's catch, just that he probably dropped just as many he caught in like circumstances.

M. Patard

NOT THE PRIVATE SCHOOL CONVERSATION AGAIN

Who's talking about it now? KoK?

M. Patard

sorry, "shot it out there".

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