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@tkyc

Dead rubber, half a stadium. Expect only the hardcore fan to show up.

That said, it is still a fair whack of SL v NSW XI... So may draw a crowd

m0nty

Talk of Cow Corner or Cowboy leading the side. Apparently, choosing a bowler is beyond the pale.

Cameron

Why does the Vodafone New Years Test start on the 3rd?

Cameron

Two days with nothing to do but fill my time via alcoholism and chronic masturbation.

Tony Tea

I think I read that it was moved from the 2nd to the 3rd because the players had asked for a little extra time to get their shit together after NYE. Or maybe that was the spin CrookAussie put on what they thought was a good idea at the time.

@TKYC

3rd for the start is...
1) Ideal, as I will be at work, with bugger all to do and not many about, so radio on!
2) Not ideal, as work around the house with the cricket on the wahless is much better than SEN's Summer of Snoring.

Tony Tea

How bad is SEN at the moment? I'm currently all over Eddie Wyatt and Jonathan Howcroft on Grandstand breaky.

The Don has risen

What is a SEN? I use it in e-mail

Tony Tea

How about that? Pat thought the Test started on January 2, I've been lying in bed all morning waiting for the cricket to start thinking today was January 3. No wonder Grandstand had its obnoxious 24 hour ad on.

The Don has risen

Just a technical note.

It is a fine line between producing a turner and a dead wicket. This is what we got when we cheated at the SCG during border's time.

It will be interesting to see what happens in this Sri day test.

go back to the 1950s and you will, Go to Miller and Lindwall and you will find greentops then wella it starts spinning just in time for richie.

A remarkable coincidence all round!

Tony Tea

Conditions in ye olden days need to be considered in light of uncovered pitches. Conditions in ye newden days need to be considered in light of flat out shenanigans - The Oval 2009, for instance.

The Don has risen

really need I mention 1956 at all?

the Awzies won at Lords ( Miller 10 wickets when 37) on a decent pitch. suddenly spinner's paradises were everywhere

m0nty

Aunty poached Ed? Just shows how little SEN pays.

Tony Tea

Is Ed still doing Sunday night USA with Turf and the betting shill?

The Don has risen

Ed?

I recommend A Cardus for all seasons.

Could only be gotten from a second hand bookshop but a jolly good read.

Very Heineken one might say!

lou

Four quicks at the SCG? They must be very keen to see how Bird travels.

Tony Tea

When was the last time we played four quicks? Perth 2008 against India? That worked out well. Then again, none of these quicks are Spud Tait.

Tony Tea

New Zealand all out 45 in 19 overs after winning the toss and batting.

Good toss to aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Carrot

FINALLY back online again, after a two-day outage - for some reason the hotel I was staying in in Nelson, NZ didn't seem to think that getting on top of that sort of thing was important. It's my first time here - nice place. Reminds me of Australia twenty years ago, which is not supposed to be patronising if there are any Kiwis lurking.....

I'll actually be in Sydney for a week from Saturday if anyone feels like catching up for a Heineken or two. Go to the "contact" page on my website (link below) - it goes through to my email. My only chance of making it to the Test will be if the Shrees last to the 5th day though.

It'll be a good time to leave Inzid after that batting performance. Good God! They managed to get one back before lunch though, which makes eleven wickets in the opening session. Surely some sort of a record?

Tony Tea

After a moment of diligently researched, peer reviewed guesswork, I would be staggered if there had not been more than 11 wickets in one session.

Carrot

But in the opening session?

Cameron

Do you bring any news from the mother continent Carrot?

Cameron

Last I'd heard we'd pusghed the Anglo-Judeo-Bolshevik Alliance past The Don (river, not bats(person). Surely Stalingrad must be our by now!

Tony Tea

Ummmmm... dunno.

Cameron

Go to bed Tony. I'll man the shop. You're in capable SS hands.

Carrot

Well - Holland is still flat, and the coffee's still dreadful - and Fulham managed to win away for once. But apart from that it sounds like you're pretty much up to date.

Cameron

Tony T. hated Symonds. He ran him outta town. I'll never forgive him for it Carrot.


Symmo was my favourite cricketer.

Tony Tea

There was no SS at Stalingrad. You'll have to be the hack Romanians.

Carrot

He stuck the knife into Martyn too, who was mine. I've been thinking of ways to take revenge ever since.

Tony Tea

Who says I disliked Sideshow Roy? Not many cricketers have their own AGB Category.

Cameron

What a ghastly creature T is.

Cameron

"There was no SS at Stalingrad."

No wonder they lost.

M. Patard

It's been raining all night, not heavy, but the sun looks like it's breaking through now. Temp is cool though.

What effect any of that will have on the morning's play, I don't know.

M. Patard

Pat thought the Test started on January 2. I thought it started on New Year's day. Looked it up and that's only happened a few times, so, once again my memory is clouded.

The Tests usually start on the 2nd. Anyway, it's on today. Isn't it?

M. Patard

In further news, the SMH has a "Carbon economy editor", by the name of Peter Hannam (http://www.smh.com.au/environment/weather/the-heat--and-dry--is-on-20130102-2c5lg.html)

"Carbon economy editor" sounds like the sort of title Pravda would have had for sorting the Kulaks from Righteous Defenders of the State.

The effect on the cricket? I think, and this is just a hunch mind you, Mr Hannam is predicting a full five days of good Test cricket weather.

M. Patard

Further news overnight, Kiwis all out for 45 in the first innings, Saffas at stumps 3/252. If that was Oz we would have declared by now.

M. Patard

Toss: Australia have won the toss and they are bowling first.

Hard Core must see the pitch as being good for some seam bowling. Luckily my weather reports were in in time for Match Management Committee to make this decision.

The AGB Carbonometer predicts: "Today's play will be a carbon copy of the 2nd Test."

M. Patard

Sorry, I see that the 1st test in Death and Diversity Nation has already been covered. As well as the German retreat from the Don after the fall of Stalingrad.

Carrot

My prediction: one of those seamers will end up being completely superfluous, and probably Lyon, too.

Carrot

i.e. they'll barely bowl at all.

@TKYC

Paraphrasing m0nty... "I thought this was the Syderrney Test post"

M. Patard

Pitch report from Kamerads at the ground: "Green top. Four prong blitz attack, first in 60 years. Srees could be all out by the first drinks session. Australia to declare by the 3rd drinks session. Srees decimated by stumps. Innings and 650 run victory to Oz on first day. Let the rape and pillage begin."

M. Patard

Allen Madden, for those international visitors confused by proceedings, is a traditional Aboriginal name.

It means the descendant of the son of the hound, correction, dingo. The dingo-hound is famous in Gaelic, correction, Aboriginal heraldry having the virtues of speed, endurance, and loyalty.

(http://www.surnamedb.com/Surname/Madden)

Tony Tea

If three quick can't, cough, splutter, get the job done, four quicks will also struggle. There is probably a mathematical algorithm which represents the "if three can't, four can't" scenario, but that is high level #CricketMaths which only Russ and Dave Barry can get their boffin noggins around.

Tony Tea

We should have picked four quicks, won't the toss, then batted. You know, for the laughs.

M. Patard

Paraphrasing m0nty... "I thought this was the Syderrney Test post"

Ah, don't worry about good old m0nty. He performs retreat after retreat, using colonials as cannon fodder, goes missing for days, then when the biz has been done by others in his absence, he claims rights to a victory parade through the defeated nation's streets.

He's probably at Catallaxy right now, sowing the seeds of discord.

M. Patard

Godfrey's has a sale on white goods today, if any one's interested. 50% off all stock.

Anyway, back to the cricket.

Tony Tea

Jesus H. Gumleaf. What sort of Welcome to Country was that?

M. Patard

0/1. The Lankan innings is building steadily.

Tony Tea

"Fvck off from Country."

M. Patard

"Fvck off from Country."

That sounds more traditional. It is the Sydney Test after all.

M. Patard

Carrott, where are you watching the game from if not at the ground till the last day?

Carrot

I'll be busy on Saturday and Sunday, but can be pretty much anywhere on Monday if it gets that far. I will be keen to make it to the ground if it does, though.

The Don has risen

too many people here watched hogan's Heroes instead of doing their homework.

We picked 4 fast bowlers with Wade as a batsman and Johnson as a ( cough cough) all rounder because we are playing crap. That is a technical term to describe crap players if you understand the Socratic method thinking along Sartre lines.

M. Patard

Doesn't Sydney Harbour look glorious with all those asylum seeker boats under sale. Wonderful city.

Carrot

Does anyone know of a good alternative for crictime.com? Can't get actual footage here - listening to the wahless online.

M. Patard

I'm going to country tomorrow for the 2nd day's play.

But, where are you watching in the interim? Don't worry, I won't hunt you down, just wondering.

I recommend the Captain Cook Hotel, right near the ground.

Carrot

"I won't hunt you down" - don't worry about that, would be happy to have a beer if we can make it happen. I'm still in New Zealand until Saturday afternoon and busy in Sydney on Sunday, so Monday is really the only time as well as today that I'll be able to follow it (I hesitate to use the word "watch" given my earlier comment).

M. Patard

Don, just had a look in the fridge and I couldn't help but think of you. 4 x insipid Corona's left over from Christmas drinks. It's not enticing but will have to do.

Gotta be better than that Kiwi lager you've been drinking. A better deal is Oettinger Pils from Dan Murphy's. Better yet, just brew your own, and open the session with an import. Just like the T20.

Hangover Black

I thought Nine paid Uncle Madden the appropriate respect by cutting to an ad before the wanker had finished.

M. Patard

You know, with our short batting lineup, and over abundance of bowlers, we could make right gooses of ourselves here.

M. Patard

I thought Nine paid Uncle Madden the appropriate respect by cutting to an ad before the wanker had finished.

I didn't even watch it. Out of respect.

The Don has risen

Carter is good but my batting has gone downhill!!

Short batting lineup. Hussey is over 6 ft!

m0nty

I see all the Lankan edges that in Melbourne went to hand or stump are going to the boundary. Law of average batting.

Notorious B.I.G. Bird looking the more dangerous. Not a heap of movement though.

M. Patard

Tones, any relation to you -> http://www.bluemountainsgazette.com.au/story/1210705/victorian-fined-for-trekking-underprepared/?cs=2452

A Victorian who went trekking in New South Wales' Blue Mountains with only potatoes and naan bread has copped a fine for being underprepared.

I don't know, a kilo of potatoes is enough for me and five days in the gorges. The naan bread sounds like bloody luxury, just being a show off.

Maybe he was doing a commemoration walk of the Potato Famine?

m0nty

And normal service has been resumed.

M. Patard

1/26. Solid opening partnership.

M. Patard

Welcome back m0nt! Where have you been, trekking through the mountains? You should have dropped in, and I could have given you a litre of sour cream and some strips of bacon to go with the spuds.

@TKYC
Notorious B.I.G. Bird looking the more dangerous.

followed shortly after by TheWord getting Karunaratne.

m0nty

I have been in the wild wilds of Western Australia. It weren't ain't arf hot.

That Vic would have been shitting a brick. Not just because he got lost, but he was eating only starch.

M. Patard

I love the pic with the news story. All the tourists at Echo Point going "Check out that fella down there with a kilo of spuds on his back. Must be a real local."

Then there was a rush on Woolies Katoomba for spuds to send back home as tourist gifts.

Tony Tea

My sister-in-law is on the way here from Castlemaine and we are having a "Welcome to City".

m0nty

Two hands, Shameless! Too old, should retire.

The Don has risen

If Pert was Clarke's Waterloo who was his Marshal Ney.

Continuing in the military vein does this mean the Sri skipper is Friedrich Paulus?

The Don has risen

err that is Perth

I guess that means McCullum is custer!!

Tony Tea

Gilchrist dropped a sitter in his last Test. Flatty Haydos dropped a sitter in his last Test. Hussey missed a sitter in his last Test. The common denominator? Already retired and sitting on a beach, or in The Hay Dross Way, picking home grown aubergines.

Tony Tea

Donnie, Ney was Napoleon's "bravest of the brave". I think we're talking Simon Katich here.

Tony Tea

There is a beach at the SCG.

The Don has risen

Ahem who did Napoleon blame for his defeat. He was before Waterloo but Waterloo was his Waterloo. I think his horse simply said ney!!

Tony Tea

Ney got carried away. Kept charging (very brave) and forgot to spike the Allies' guns (very dumb). Who is the most headstrong and reckless Aussie?

The Don has risen

I always said life is a beach

Carrot

Siddle might fit that bill?

m0nty

Cow Corner is the most reckless. Studsy is the most headstrong, paradoxically by being soft in the head.

The Don has risen

Maybe De Villiers was Clarke's blucher

M. Patard

Wellington's arse was saved by Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher. Until Blücher and his army arrived, Wellington was about to have his arse handed to him on a French platter. A splatter platter.

Tony Tea

Napoleon unaccountable delayed the start of the battle. Had he gotten rolling earlier in the day he would have rolled Wellington before Blucher arrived.

The Don has risen

Yes and because he was saved by a blutcher he named the meal Beef Wellington as a tribute

m0nty

Oh jeez, the SCG now has a heavily sponsored wading pool for pissed bogans to wet their ankles. There's nothing so crass as Sydney wouldn't copy it.

The Don has risen

Napoleon did nor maneuver at all at Waterloo. Again similarities to Perth

m0nty

Tugga looked like he was wearing a war medal. Dud look IMO.

The Don has risen

The SCG should only allow Heineken drinkers in.

you get a much better class of Spectator. too many VB drinkers allowed!

@TKYC

SL pass the high watermark set by NZ overnight

The Don has risen

My call of Australia batting in the first session is looking very catallaxyish

M. Patard

Crown lager is the SCG drink of choice, so I'm led to believe.

Re. the French, I like Fred on Everything's take on the whole "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" patriotard thing (Hat Tip, Tim Blair):

Patriots make much of the dismal record of the French in matters military. Well, yes. It's hard to argue with failure. I note, however, that the French have Germany on their borders, a condition associated with military failure for everybody enjoying the same circumstances.

http://www.fredoneverything.net/France.shtml

Carrot

Decent tie-knot Tugga is sporting, though. Always a mark of distinction.

The Don has risen

Crown is superior to VB.

The French have fought only two wars against Germany and had a lot of help on each occasion.

They never fought them on their own. They lost home games to Prussia though!

The Don has risen

you are wrong Carrot. only two ties in test cricket and this won't be one of them

Anyone who wears a shirt and tie/suit to a cricket game is a prat. That is a technical term for a ......!!!

@TKYC

The gradual creep of Nein commentators from out of the comm.box to 'on-screen personalities' is destroying the actual 'watching of cricket' experience.

...that, and the error of linking the word 'personalities' with the Nein talking-head brigade.

M. Patard

Geez, even though it wasn't a catch, that was hopeless keeping from Wade.

M. Patard

Slater is the most over-exposed of Nein personalities. He pops up on everything these days.

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