STILL THE OTHER ONE

Nine takes block, defends its pitch

WHILE Channel Nine insists there won't be a shake-up, an injection of fresh faces means life in its commentary box could become a tight squeeze if it secures a new agreement with Cricket Australia.

Nine insiders are confident it will fend off a challenge from Channel Seven to retain the rights to the three forms of the game - Tests, one-dayers and Twenty20.

Hard to imagine cricket on Seven. Everyone pretty much agrees the Ninesters are long in the tooth, but if CricAussie switched to Seven (or Ten) you'd still get reamed by the host broadcaster and all its broadcast partners (Bunnings, Solo, KFC, Ford, etc). Seven could replace Nine's "summer of cricket" jingle with Fanfare for the Common Man. At least the viewers' biggest gripe - the Six O'Clock Swill - has been dumped. Hard to see Seven bringing that back.

Assuming Seven would point the cameras in the right direction - something that cannot be taken for granted on current footy form - who would it put in the box? There just aren't that many good cricket commentators out there. Can't see them importing anyone from Nine, even if Virus Tawny does have a knack for popping up everywhere. Dennis Cometti is a tops cricket commentator and Seven may pinch someone like BJ from Fox, but as with footy, the cupboard is light on for true talent. I'd opt for a stronger mix of professional commentators and journalists and take a scythe to the former players.

Comments

[@TKYC]

Get Gideon!

i.e. Test cricket needs a rambler like him to talk colour and 'moment' (like it needs a hole in the head?)

[m0nty]

You and me, TT. We should ring Boxhead Leckie. We'd work relatively cheap, too.

[Rusty]

I second the motion for more Gideon (and if it happened, anticipate an avalanche of complaints from knobs who considered him "so superior" or whatever it is that knobs says).

I also vote 'nay' to anything that involves more Brendan Julian. Only thing worse would be Mark Nicholas. Having said that he probably has the least reason for loyalty of anyone at Nine, so he'd be a Monty to come straight across to whoever else got the rights.

[Tony Tea]

I like Gideon and his big words. BJ should stick to reading the News on Howzat.

[lou]

'Scythe to former players', too right. In fact former players could be done awway with in commentary teams all over the world as it's pure chance if they can speak sensibly about anything at all, let alone cricket.

Apart from David Gower as I like the sound of his voice and he never tries to be too clever.

And Colin Croft just for the fear factor he induces in co-commentators.

[Carrot]

It is hard to see anyone other than Nine doing the cricket, but either way I'd really, really, really like to see the back of Slatts, Tubbs and Heals, much though they're all capable of making vaguely intelligent analysis - they just don't, or have been told not to in recent years. The only one I'd miss from the current crop is Warne, I think. I do quite like Chappelli, but honestly - how long will he want to continue anyway? He's 70.

You could easily come up with another couple of captains to add some gravitas if you wanted. What's AB up to these days? And Steve Waugh? Does he even commentate? Kim Hughes wasn't bad back in the day, either. He wasn't a (Test) captain, but I've always liked Tom Moody.

Re: non-players, I reckon Jim Maxwell would do a good job, and his voice is almost as familiar to the average punter as Richie Benaud's. He's not with the ABC anymore either (is he?) - and I agree about Dennis Commetti.

[Lou]

I like Warne too now I think of it. If you can keep him to the cricket, you'll get some excellent analysis from him regularly. But you have to keep him to the cricket.

[SaggyGreen]

The best person to keep Warnie on topic is Mike Atherton. Put Warne and Botham in the box together and they immediately start talking shit about last night's meal, their golf games, and anything bar cricket.

Some of the best commentary I've heard in years was Warne and Atherton, mostly because Athers kept control of the conversation, and kept our Shane focussed.

[Tony Tea]

I'm not convinced Warnie is as good a commentator as his reputation would have us believe, but if he is to sit in the box anyone who can keep him from drooling on about Liz Hurley gets my vote.

[Carrot]

I quite like Geoff Lawson. I think he's commentated on Seven before, as well. I haven't heard him for ages, but always I used to like Terry Alderman, too.

A Seven line-up: Dennis Commetti, Jim Maxwell, Geoff Lawson, AB, Tom Moody, Gideon, Kim Hughes, Terry Alderman. There are four Sandgropers in there including Dennis, but there you are - maybe I'm baised.

I doubt Warnie would end up getting a guernsey after all his work on Nine.

[lou]

No, no, no, not Terry Alderman, you only get occasional good analysis amongst the whining.

[The Don has Risen]

If another channel got it then the commentators would do a Gordon Bray.

I do think Gideon would make Haigh though!!

Dennis used to do cricket in his ABC days on thr radio and did it well.

[Tony Tea]

"Dennis used to do cricket in his ABC days on the radio and did it well" is almost, just about, roughly what I meant by "Dennis Cometti is a tops cricket commentator."

[The Don has Risen]

I am supporting you.

He was good and he didn't try to be funny. Even better

[Big Ramifications]

Bring back the Whit.

[Tony Tea]

One of Aussie tv's more puzzling faces. That's faces in the Minder dubious-character sense.

[Tony Tea]

Wonder what he's doing now.

[Professor Rosseforp]

I'd like to see Channel 10 get the cricket and see how long it takes to halve the audience.
As for commentary, I would love to see Dick Johnson, who is languishing in early morning television with an ad on perpetual re-run for "crim-safe security flyscreens" (keeps out very big flies, I think).
He must be tired of his grandchildren saying "Ine Dick Johnson", "No, Ine Dick Johnson" -- but it would prepare him for ex-cricketers with poor elocution. And frankly if he can discuss flyscreens for 60 seconds, the 5 day cricket would be a doddle.

[Tony Tea]

Hey, Prof. Did you hear Robert Barrett has punted the pail?

[Professor Rosseforp]

Tony, sadly I did hear this. Considerably less hoopla about his ill health than that surrounding Bryce Courtney. Graeme Blundell had a panegyric about him in the weekend Australian.
In his last book, "Still riding on the storm" (mainly reprinted stories from Riding on the storm) there is a good story about his experiences with cancer, that he thought was probably his best writing -- and I tend to agree.
RIP RGB.

[Big Ramifications]

I was using an EXTREMELY BUGGY piece of accounting software at work. So I did a Google image search to send to the help desk gurus, rather than a vanilla enquiry using text and punctuation and stuff like a normal boring person would do.

And fark me. The Whit is right up the top of the rankings. Not sure if that answers your question TT, I didn't poke around enough to see how old the last update was.

Apart from DK, I can't think of too many cricketers who have become a brand like The Whit has. Both use the knockabout, velvet sledgehammer style. Coincidence?

[Big Ramifications]

..
This is what I settled on. Tres funny, non?

[Tony Tea]

I can't believe the tourist industry has not lit onto "the ultimate accounting experience". Oh, well, maybe in New Zealand.