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Carrot

Hear, hear. 1am through 8am is distinctly unfriendly. It pains me that watching cricket from anywhere else in the world but the country of my birth is much easier. Cricket should be played in England during summer, South Africa during winter, and the Caribbean. Nowhere else - until I move time zones.

India is sort of ok, but it means that the BCCI is making money, and I'd much rather they didn't.

The Don has risen

not my own again but you wouldn't want to curry favours with the BCCI

Russ

The beauty of this game is could be anything from a disaster to complete dominance. Or a total washout. Starc over Cutting is interesting as his record is inferior, but they obviously want a left-armer. He'll be better than Studs, anyway.

Need new nicknames (again): Naked and ?

Carrot

Blunt?

Carrot

Tried an oliebollen the other day, by the way Russ - it was pretty decent fare, although nothing to get TOO excited about, though. It would go well with a good cappuccino, although try finding that in the Netherlands.... It wasn't a fruit one, though - and you did say those were the best? Don't think this guy was selling the fruit variety.

Carrot

... and I've just realised that "olibollen" is plural, of course. I actually tried an "oliebol". You can read about anything on the AGB folks, even Dutch grammar.

Carrot

Kiwis win the toss and bat. No Cow Corner Warner first up.

Russ

Not upset to be bowling. NZ playing to their strengths and our perceived weakness, but the real worry is being rolled on a green-top, so that is out.

Carrot, fruit is better. Also keep in mind when I first tried them I'd been subsisting on biscuits and chocolate for 4 months. What is your opinion on Dutch cuisine in general?

Carrot

Agreed. Probably a good toss to lose.

The words "Dutch" and "cuisine" do not belong in the same sentence. The food here is an absolute crying shame. It's expensive, bland, and bad. The only thing worse than the food is the coffee. The good thing is with the lack of a food culture I don't spend much money eating out, and I used to spend a LOT doing that in London.

Carrot

Good lord, is Richie STILL commentating? I didn't hear any of him last summer, because all the internet feeds were the Sky Sports commentary in the UK, it being the Ashes. When are they going to pension him off?

Russ

Carrot, agreed. My impression: pulverise, deep fry, spice or sweeten. The humble oliebol fits perfectly into that.

Carrot

McCullum is SUCH a cowboy. He's a poor man's Sehwag. If he gets runs here I will be annoyed.

Tony

Shtarker (from Get Smart).

Tony

Is this a one day game?

Tony

Pattinson = Chris Matthews?

The Don has risen

Kiwis think it is a 20/20.

gosh good to see accurate bowling

Russ

Every game is a one-dayer when McCullum is playing (and Ryder, Taylor and Vettori).

The Don has risen

Shtarker should be opening the bowling. Left/right combination is a good one.

(He played junior cricket around here as a wicket-keeper!)

Guppy has a bad batting technique which a decent test bowler who bowls outswingers should take advantage of.

Carrot

Of the two of them, Guptil is the only one who actually looks like a batsman at the moment. McCullum clearly isn't the sharpest tool in the kit if he can't resist flashing to every ball outside the off peg to a new ball that's doing a bit.

The Don has risen

Guppy's feet are too wide which could cause him to crouch too much and move the head. He also plants his front foot straight down the pitch sometimes instead of the ball.

Carrot

... from Darwin to the Dandenongs, wherever your address might be...

Tony

The ABC feed is poxy, dropping in and out. But hey! At least the commentary box web cam is updating every 30 seconds. The school updated its network recently, but they cocked it up. Can't view more than a few minutes of Youtube, etc and struggle to stream radio. I suspect they did it on purpose to stop people like me enjoying life.

Carrot

I agree, he does look a bit suspect. He looks like he's willing to apply himself more than McCullum, that's all.

Tony

Clarke should bring Copeland on... Clarke should pick Copeland.

Carrot

Oh God, there's that flag dickhead - what's his name again?

Tony

Flag D. Head.

Tony

Artie Beetson died. He was the only rugby league player I had heard of before about 1980.

Carrot

Apparently he owns - or used to own - an accountancy firm. I used to live with a couple of cricket-mad Kiwis, and the showed me his website. It covered all of his cricket traves, and had porn on it! They hate him in Inzid - I think he's been banned from his flag-waving in some of the grounds, why I'm not too sure.

Tony

Clearly Phlegmmo can shelve the "corridor of controversy" alliteration. Just a teensy tad tedious.

os

Carrot, you should be OK with Dutch grammar but don't try German - Teach will take you to the cleaners.

Tony

No, Carrot would have me covered for German grammar. My knowledge there is shallower than the gene pool at a Nickelback concert.

Tony

Siddle gets Guppy, caught Klutzy.

1/44

Carrot

Hah - ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch, aber kein Hollandisch!

Guptil gone fiddling outside off. Don called it!

Russ

Only a matter of time that dismissal.

Williamson in, this kid has huge wraps on him. Also a shocking chucker.

Tony

Hipster jargonista Danny Morrison. He says "good burgle" or "amped up" or "hit the strings" and I'll punch the screen. He should be commentating on MMM, not ABC.

Tony

McCullum caught by Cow Corner off Shtarker.

2/56

Tony

The Kiwis are showing Australia how not to bat in a Test match.

The Don has risen

Ve don'y play shots like zat in KAOS!

Williamson sounds like an economist not a first drop.

What is his opinion on the MYEFO?

Carrot

Pack 'em McCullum, you're crap. Taylor is a proper batsman, I don't mind him scoring runs.

Tony

Bottom-hand Ross.

The Don has risen

I like Milton Friedman.
Good compact stance, uses his feet well. busy between the wickets.

I agree on Ross Taylor.

The bowlers really should have had quite a few wickets given the way the ball is moving

The Don has risen

Umpiring note.
When I started umpiring we had a session where we used a rope wicket to wicket and it showed when the ball went over the stumps. This gave us a good idea of what length the ball has to be to give LBWs.
It would be more sophisticated at test level.

I still give quite a few but that is lack of batting ability. like not playing a shot when it pitches middle stump! ( twice so far)

coaching note:

what got Friedman into trouble was Lyon getting the ball above the eye level.
When this happens the batsman is uncertain of the length. Also Lyons technique allows him to spin the ball more, get drift away and dip the ball.
Friedman has obviously not seen much spin like this before.

A good education.

Tony

Ooooooo... I missed a wicket getting my sausage roll.

Williamson caught Uzi, bowled Lyon, Nathan

3/78.

Russ

I'm more and more impressed by Lyon. When was the last offie we had this good? May, Mallett? Or further back again?

Tony

Two Kiwi wickets in Clarke time. What's the Kiwi equivalent of getting out in the last 10 minutes of a session?

Tony

Lyon is tasty.

Tony

Bottom-Hand Taylor drags Pattinson onto his stumps.

4/93.

Russ

Shithouse cricket. Williamson was worked out, but the rest were rubbish shots better left to Australians.

Tony

Os, you will be happy to know the Queensland listeners have left for the Country Hour. What a poll Herefords going for today?

Tony

Like everyone except the Poms, the Kiwis are batting like it's a one dayer.

Tony

Pattinson came back well - 1 for 40 off 7.

Siddle tied it together nicely - 1 for 16 off 7.

Good support (and a little chin music) from Shtarker - 1 18 off 6.

Lyon has been very fine - 1 for 15 off 5 and dangerous.

The Don has risen

Kiwis are awful.

They will be lucky to get 150.

Tony

Shtarker bowls Jesse Jumbo.

5/96

Tony

Vettori will probably make a century.

@TKYC
"I'm busy today, so is their any chance the cricket can be moved to a more civilized viewing time?"

...and yet here is TT blogging and tweeting away. Such a great service!

@TKYC

Clarke... in and out action (not that type).

Tony

Ok, so how many catches have we dropped so far? 15?

Hangover Black

Isn't it a pleasant surprise seeing an oz left arm quick shaping the ball back into rh batsmen.

Tony

His name is Mitchell, too. Odd.

The Don has risen

so if he gets a 5for the kiwis have gone Starcers

Tony

Dreadful referral, by all reports.

Tony

Bad light came at just the right time to help Australia get its act together. Jesus, I wish they would learn to steal wickets, rather than rely on the the batsmen gifting them wickets.

@TKYC

3:30... off for light.

Queensland. Beautiful one day...

Russ

It is about to cane it down in Brisbane, chances are no further play.

Tony

Clarke can't seem to get it together 100%. If he fields well he will bat poorly and if he bats well he will field poorly. Guess he is due a good score here.

Jordy Heals

uring the next two months, I'd like to challenge you all to consider how you might be able to help out others. Whether it's with a donation of your money or your time, I'm sure it will be appreciated and be a blessing to those receiving it. We all know it's been a rough few years for many people financially, and whatever you can do this holiday season to help others will certainly make a difference for them. And even if you have been hit by the economy, it's still good to have some perspective -- you're doing much better than most of the world.

m0nty

I don't think buying basketball shoes helps anyone.

Tony

Kerry O'Keefe: "The selectors are not picking horses for courses, they are picking to win each Test."

Discuss.

lou

Nice to see the Kiwi reputation for stupid batting is still intact. Why not make the bowlers do a bit of the work?

bruce

Not just Clarke time - Clarke style.

Flat footed wafts and slaps to gully. It's like looking at a greatest hits tape of Clarke innings with a different colored helmet and body shape.

Tony

Speaking of Lyon (as Donster was yesterday arvo):

Rodney Hogg
Lyon's wicket ball was the best delivery by an off spinner on day one of a test that I have ever seen.
Tony

The Age is onto a winner, having replaced Spanky with Malcolm Knox:

On your first day, you don't have to take wickets with away-cutting in-swingers; long hops and full-tosses will do, as bowling coach Craig McDermott can tell them.

The new bowlers' best friends were the visitors, who, if they were putting any price on their wickets, they were doing it in NZ dollars.

It will be a pity, based on yesterday's work, if Peter Siddle's seniority alone saves him when Cummins returns. As attack leader, Siddle emulated Mitchell Johnson early by bowling dross and taking a wicket with a wide half-volley. In later spells, he settled down to a one-day length, short and unthreatening. He might curse Clarke for dropping Dean Brownlie, but the ball was a half-tracker and should have gone to the fence.

To be frank, had England been batting the score would be 1/150.

Tony

Quite obviously Chris Barrett and/or Jim Morton have not been watching Australia field lately:

With Australian-born batsman Dean Brownlie helping New Zealand recover to be 5-176, the Black Caps' biggest thank-you went to another who hailed from this side of the Tasman - Clarke. His clanger yesterday - spilling an edge to first slip - was ugly (and surprising) to watch.
Tony

The almost-always excellent Will Brodie is back at The Age for 2011/12:

The myth of Kiwi competitiveness

New Zealand are plucky underdogs who rise to the occasion when playing cocky big brother and neighbour Australia. Right?
When confronted by the baggy green, the Black Caps are mystically transformed from battling journeymen into canny senior professionals.
So goes the myth.

Almost? Yes: almost. I disgree with Will's take on the 2001/02 NZ series:

NO-RAIN MAN

Today in The Age, Spanky Roebuck harks back to 2001 to preview the test series against New Z'Lund; see if you can spot what's missing.

Russ

Brodie is right, but not by any great margin. Based on expected margins over the past 10-20 years, NZ plays 3-5 runs per game worse than normal against Australia. In other words, they play to form, and their form is ordinary. I still like playing them more than anyone bar England and South Africa though.

os

About $4 a kilo ... not bad. You still lose money though.

Tony

Me, yesterday: "Vettori will probably make a century."

Half way there.

Tony

Not so easy for the Aussie bowlers when the batsmen decide against donating their wickets.

Tony

Dean "Perth-born" Brownlie.

Carrot

Is there any more of a brainless commentaterism than "That's the way he plays"? Particularly after an ugly hoick that spooned over the slips? What is it supposed to mean - that's the way he plays: badly? They were saying it about McCullum yesterday as well, when he was doing everything he could to get out every ball!

Tony

Are they talking about Haddin?

Carrot

They might as well be...

Tony

Koo Starc.

The Don has risen

that was a graeme wood call.

Tony

Vettori run out by Hussey.

6/256

Bad running is bad football.

The Don has risen

so kiwis have only two batsman who know how to bat in a test match.

Batting coach obviously hasn't said much about footwork.

imagine what the curries would have done to this attack on a bowling friendly pitch and skies

Tony

Young, caught Clarke, bowled Siddle.

7/256

Any advance on 7 down?

Tony

Or the Poms. England would be 2/300 by now.

m0nty

Perhaps Gnome B.N. can go coach NZ. Then he would be Hobbit B.N.

Carrot

Just had a thought: why wasn't Doug Bollinger mentioned in the selection mix for this match? Is he injured, too?

Tony

The selectors think Bollinger is a fatty.

Tony

Bracewell, caught Clarke, bowled Lyon.

8/259

Any advance on 8 down?

Wish Clarke had caught Dean "Perth-born" Brownlie, too.

The Don has risen

Kiwis seem all at sea at at the spinner using fast revolutions , getting the ball above eye level with the ball dipping, swerving away and at times bouncing.

need a new batting coach

Tony

Southee holes out to Hussey off Lyon.

9/290

Will NZ get 300, thus guaranteeing that Australia trail on the first innings?

lou

Shame Southee couldn't stick around. Now Koo gets to bowl at Martin for an extra undeserved wicket.

Bollinger is injured (as well as the selectors considering him a fatty).

The Don has risen

I thought Bollinger and christmas went together

Tony

Out: Mitchell. In: Mitchell Same sh1t, same bucket.

Tony

Chris Martin from that shit band is a better batsman that Chris Martin from New Zealand.

Tony

Phlegm is pinching my gear.

The Don has risen

if ball is too old to swing then put on a right armer will hit the stumps.

simple but effective against a bunny

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