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Big Ramifications

commentators impersonating winter sports experts

Is Kenny Sutcliffe the world's luckiest man? He knows Jack Schmidt about any sport... yet seems to have been a permanent fixture at all the Winter Olympics since the 1980s.

Dale Begg Smith. Made his bucks by infecting peoples' computers with web browser hijackers. Left the Canadian team coz he didn't like being told what to do with respect to training. Somehow weaselled his way into a green+gold tracky. Yeah, I’ll be surely cheering him on in his who-can-get-to-the-bottom-of-a-bumpy-hill-quickest race. And has there a more boring sportsman out there?

Why yes. Steven Bradbury. I saw him on Denton or Rove or The Panel [or something] and the guy is seriously boring and seriously thick. But at least his gold medal was unforgettable.

Alisa Camplin's gold was pretty good viewing. Otherwise I'm over it.

And I've got a feeling I said *all* of this approximately four years ago.


So ends the cricket summer, as the ODIs are merely bagfill and the NAB Cup is thankfully not that far away. 5 wins and a draw is about expected given the opposition albeit with a couple of close shaves and some incredible exhibits of poor cricket basics by the Pakis. A few ponderings:

Ritz as equal top wicket taker was a genuine surprise. Good on him as I thought he was only good for 1 spin friendly sub continent test, but if he comes out and shoot blanks next summer then this summer's feats are quickly erased and we should duly expect AGB wrath. Rug came out from behind the...rug. Bowls some Studly like unplayables and doesn't pile on the shit half as much as Stud. Two left armer quicks still needs some getting used to but if they're taking wickets, who gives a toss I guess. It will be interesting when Hilf is fit. Yallourn Sid needs to show something extra.

Klutz has saved his bacon with a half decent summer but Lawry saying something like "great work by Haddin, what a year he has had!" is just so silly. At least he can dine out on that SCG catch.

Norf obviously the main batting concern. The selections for NZ will be intriguing. Siddey media already spruiking Smith, which makes little sense other than tour blooding. I'd like to see Bailey, Cosgrove, White or someone like that who has done some Shield hard yards but is still pre-30. Hussey now in full Hayden-prolonged-career-escape-act mode which, like Hayden, now renders him annoying ever time he walks to the wicket, and in effect may have screwed up his bro's test chances. Ponting showing some amazing stupidity and arrogance for someone so stupid and arrogant by pulling or hooking recklessly early in the innings. If he'd got caught for zip in Tassie imagine the uproar. Richie could have re-invented his "how do you spell kamikaze?" quote about Hiccup Hilditch's compulsive hooking all those year ago.

It would've been about the only decent thing Richie had said this summer. "We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch" as JFK once sadly said about the current Channel 9 team. "Big back Fiery Frank and Tangles!" was JFK's next quote. The 9 team, while constantly improving the vision have made the commentary so bland that the next purchase is a digital radio in the vague hope of remedying "The Delay". The ABC radio team need a rocket as well. Their WA team is downright woeful, Kerry plays up to the crowd too much(his commentary at the SCG on the Bingle car incident...you'd swear he was on some Will Anderson play-the-gags-for-the-uni-students show) and when KOK has a stooge like Mitchell, then you have a real stooge. Langer is too "everyone's a legend, so that make me one" and Flem is hardly even interested in test cricket anymore and is about to marry The Big Bash. Roebuck, incredibly, is the only constantly inciteful guy. Geoff Lawson is surprisingly downright stupid in a lot of the things he says (except for bowling first at the SCG).

Ah well, this was always the fill in summer we had to have after all and offered a few decent test cricket morsels. Can't wait for Nov and the away tests in NZ will be worth a look.

Hangover Black

I'm pretty sure it was during Kat's ton that the commentary team were talking about his cooking skills and how they enjoyed watching Masterchef during the year. And Richie was doing most of the talking. Not quite the type of cross-promotion that Nine management were looking for.


In the US, the Winter Olympics are on NBC, which is currently wallowing at an all-time low in the ratings and is embroiled in more furore than Tiger Woods.

In Australia, the Winter Olympics are on Nine, which is currently wallowing at an all-time low in the ratings and is embroiled in more debt than Barack Obama.

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