SECOND TEST: ADELAIDE OVAL

So, the pathetic Windies were stomped by a dominant Australia at the Gabba. Are the Windies really that bad? Are Australia really that good?

Unlikely.

Several West Indian batsmen donated their wickets to the Australian bowlers. Had Bravo and Chanderpaul, among other culprits, not been so generous, the Aussie bowlers may have struggled to winkle them out. That continues to be the key issue for Aussie cricket since the retirements of Warne and McGrath. Bollocks to your rebuilding phases. Find another Warne - the greatest match-winner in Test history - and you will kick-start another dynasty. Until then we will scrap with SA, India and England for Test supremacy. Sure, we'll win more than we lose, the scrubbers will see to that as they feed our Test averages, but the glory days are done for now. Richie was right: "You won't miss Warne until he's gone."

Nor did the Australian batsmen set the world on fire; the West Indian bowlers regularly induced mistakes. How long has it been since an Aussie made a 200? Was Dizzy the last? The current line-up is steady without being great. Ponting seems less intent on making runs and more intent on making a point. LBWatson is a fine batsman, but can't continue to open if he keeps getting stranded plumb in front. There are as many questions about Clarke's back as there are questions about his relationship with La Bingle. Katich and Hussey are coming to the end. Could it be the North is our most important batsman?

As for the Windies' prospects, over to you Tony Cozier:

Undeserving abuse for Windies

NO ONE is more painfully aware of the rapid disintegration of West Indies cricket than West Indians themselves.

For all that, the abuse and scorn heaped on the team in the Australian press following its defeat in the first Test in Brisbane last week--by an innings and in three days-was undeserving. Much of it was simply beyond the pale.

(Via TCWJ.)

There are obvious flaws in Tony's case - the comparison between Australian cricket in the mid 1980s with West Indian cricket in the 2000s is invalid - but it's refreshing to read a passionate defence of West Indian cricket. The "whimpering exit from the captaincy" was a tasty barb, too.

Anyhoo, Straya aren't all that great, and the West Indies aren't as completely dreadful as Malcolm Conn, Ben Dorries and Kim Hughes make out; although, I suspect they know that, but why let perspective get in the way of a juicy sledge.

Comments

[m0nty]

I could hold a steak pie right now.

[Tony]

To get things in context: it was a "who gets which piece of the pie?" conversation.

[Tony Tea]

How long can Big Benn bowl, and Gayle stick with the old ball?

[Tony Tea]

Jesus, Huss. What a stupid run. Pull your head in.

[Tony Tea]

The VB Pop-up Pub. Rocketing to the top of my Most Hated Ad charts.

[The Don has risen]

I notice the Pakis have backed themselves in the second test after backing the Kiwis in the first

[Tony Tea]

Shit. Billy Bowden is on his way to the SACA to replace Rauf Mauf.

[m0nty]

Tone, I was just thinking how awkward were the post-erection hugs by the blokes in that ad.

[m0nty]

That was the least unconvincing 41 I have seen in a good long while.

[Tony Tea]

Hussey, you doufus.

4/312.

I've all-but given up on Aussies making big scores. Welcome to the Era of Starts.

[m0nty]

Um, I meant least convincing. I ain't double negative.

[Tony Tea]

Don, Pakistani matches might contain questionable provenance, but Kiwi pitches are great for Test cricket.

Out Les Burdett; in Lis Burditt.

[Tony Tea]

Least unconvincing perfectly describes the Hussey innings; neither here, nor there. But mostly there; and here.

[Tony Tea]

Faz: "Essaying a cut shot". Do batsmen "essay" other shots? Don't think I've ever heard "essay an on-drive" or "essay a leg glance".

Come to think of it. "Essay" is a very sports commentator word, as they attempt to embiggen the language. Why settle for "try" when you can lather it on with "essay".

[The Don has risen]

I do like Roach. He is actualy fast and swings the ball unlike OZ bowlers on both counts

[m0nty]

Getting towards the end of a session, time for Pup to start playing like a rabies-crazed baboon again.

[Tony Tea]

Roach reminds me of Malcolm Marshall.

[Tony Tea]

Clarke has already played a strange-looking pull. Setting the scene for a dramatic exit.

[Tony Tea]

It makes me ill when commentators - Flem & MITCHELL! - talk in reverent admiration about Murali's wickets record never being beaten.

[m0nty]

Rauf Mauf is looking more and more like Big Merv with those back stretching routines.

[Tony Tea]

Flem: "Tim May's an interesting character. Have you ever come across Maysie?"

I have.

In 1995 I was at a 30th birthday in a Melbourne bar where neither Flem nor Maysie could stand up.

[Tony Tea]

Florian Fuchs - now there's a name. He should barrack for the Mighty Fuchsias.

At 1-3, the Krauts are setting the scene for next June and the Association World Cup of Les Murray Phoodboll.

[m0nty]

The cricket now has a soapbox? Radio SEN is more influential than I thought. I'd like to see them take talkback from the likes of Jim from Hawthorn.

[Tony Tea]

I love it when Jim says "You know what ahhhh think?" Well, yes we do, since he tells us every day.

[m0nty]

You don't have to listen, Tone.

[m0nty]

Poor old Big Benn. He's already bowled 40 overs with the Aussies only 4 down, and now they put him straight back on after tea. The three fast bowlers combined: 48 overs.

[Tony Tea]

Nicholas gets pervy.

"The West Indies have picked up a flag bearer."

A young girl.

With ogle in his voice: "I don't blame them."

I'm not a prude, but didn't he cop flack at last year's Border Medal for getting too Carry On?

[Tony Tea]

Over-wise, BB is the Windies' Murali, without the chucks.

[Tony Tea]

Bill defines a non sequitur: "Sammy batted well, so he should bowl well."

[Tony Tea]

North goes south.

5/353.

Rubbish way to get out.

[Tony Tea]

Blimey! Crikey! Struth!

At the hockey.

Half-time: Krauts led 3-1.

Now: Aussies lead 4-3.

[Tony Tea]

"If I've seen a better game of hockey, I'd liked to have been there."

Well, it certainly just had the most amazing hockey goal I've ever seen.

[m0nty]

That was a pretty good goal, speaking as a hockey centre forward myself.

[Tony Tea]

Where was the spirit of Harald Schumacher when the Germans goalie needed a cynical shirtfront?

[m0nty]

Pup innovating by getting out nearing the end of a hockey tournament rather than the end of a session of cricket.

[Tony Tea]

Rubbish from Clarke

6/370.

Fancy him getting out chasing a wide one. Fancy that.

[Tony Tea]

Dud Stud.

7/377.

Catching practice.

Get rolled soon, and Australia will be battling to save this Test.

[nick]

1. Talk MJ up as the greatest since Gilly...out.
2. Richie going off on a tangent about how Goold can duck...but showing footage of Rauf stretching...to silence from Nicko and Grieg. How long before Richie makes a wally of himself on air?

[Tony Tea]

Classic Question!

Richie: "Who's Mick?"

Apparently it's not Slatts.

[nick]

3. 'Haddin's got 27 - valuable runs these'. Isn't that why's he's in the side? Recent performances aside - it hasn't been his keeping. I note the Windies scored their runs faster as well...mainly due to the wide crap bowled at the tailenders.

[Tony Tea]

"Nathan Hauritz is an improved bat."

Out.

8/418.

Thanks, Nicko.

[Tony Tea]

Nicko: "That's something Tony said." He's right. I did say that:

Maybe Australia's dominance at the Gabba is because it's generally the first Test of the summer and most visiting teams aren't ready to for combat.

[Vindicate]

So why can't we bowl to tailenders like this?

[Tony Tea]

Siddle suckered.

9/419.

Almost time to start the post-mortem on Australia's loss.

[Tony Tea]

Jeez the Nine blokes talk some crap. Just because they want to see Australia bowl tonight - probably because it works for ratings, or some other dubious subtext - doesn't mean Australia shouldn't bat for as long as possible.

[Tony Tea]

Heals: "Australia might have left it too late. I'd have liked to see Haddin & Hauritz hit out."

Well, how did Ritz get out, Heals: blocking it, or chasing a hook?

[nick]

Best thing about 9's coverage? The Popup girls at the Popup pub 8-)

[Tony Tea]

There is no doubt which country has the best crowd catchers.

[Tony Tea]

What a ridiculous run out.

All out 438.

Typical Haddin.

[Vindicate]

Now we get 10 mins of crapping on, then Nein goes to the news instead of seeing a couple of fiery overs. Nice.

[Tony Tea]

Fiery overs or more Tiger tuppy? Nine makes the hard call.

[Tony Tea]

Top hole! Top Secret on 407.

Du Quois: This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu.

Deja Vu: Haven't we met before?

Nick Rivers: I don't think so.

[Tony Tea]

Studs' first over:

. . 4 4 2 1

The West Indies will be out of sight by stumps.

[Tony Tea]

Stumps.

0/23 off four.

Time for the lamé jacket, Richie.

[pat]

What a mediocre effort from a mediocre team. If mediocrity's what's on offer then better to serve it young with the promise of better to come.

Therefore:

Shameless - gawn
Kat - on notice to gawn
Punter - silently in the backroom given notice he's handing over the Captaincy in one year
Studsy - gawn

Bring back Phillips
PC down the order
Anyone, to replace Studsy

[nick]

Who has underperformed?

Watson - bowled ok, batted well, fielded well - keep in the side, just not as an opener.
Katich - surely reaching the end of his days, too old for next Ashes, get Hughes in. Out.
Ponting - slugging not commanding - too many wasted starts in the last year. Will stay, can write his own retirement plan.
Hussey - good bat, good in the field, probably a good team man. Selectors need to earn their money and get him out. Give him the sop of continued T20 tenure for the $.
Clarke - not showing leadership, more fop than dasher, combines the worst of Mark Waugh, David Gower and Greg Matthews. On notice.
North - not too bad, slips fielder, not being bowled. Keep.
Haddin - steady bat, improved keeping - must continue to improve with gloves.
Johnson - looking good at the batting crease, needs to get head down. More Harmison with the ball than anything else, will always be a flake, we need to live with it.
Hauritz - the blandest player since Giles/Harris.
Siddle - good trier, unlucky this Test, ?injured.
Bollinger - again, good tryer, good bullpen bowler.

If we can't bowl the Windies out, and Siddle is injured, ?McKay and Krezja in, but I'd settle for seeing Hughes in against the Pakis.

[pat]

Spot on nick.

Just realised I've been referring to Phillips when I mean Hughes. Early onset of Old Timers disease must be kicking in or I have an unhealthy subconcious attachment to Wayne Phillips.

Either way, I'd prefer Wayne and Phillip to open instead of Krab and PC.

My only other quibble is that Studsy has to go. He needs to know that his shit does stink contrary to what his mum and girlfriend must flatter him with every night.

There's something rotten in the state of our bowling stocks and it is emanating from the dross hurled up by Studs. Time to go Studs and get your things sorted.

[Adsy]

Most of the good bats in Australia have been dropped at some time in their career... Studs just took ages as 12th man before he got his shot. He still needs to be told what's what, and hopefully that will generate a bit of competition for the spot.

As for today, hope the Windies go mad, ala first innings and dish up 300 plus all out, so we have to chase it on the last day. Will soon sort out who is playing for his spot/who is playing for the team.

[Tony]

Not out.

[Russ]

Morning all. Close for Barth, but the ball didn't change its spin after it passed the bat, which is by far the best indicator of an edge. Godo decision from Rauf Mauf.

[Tony]

Mark Benson's back in England, allegedly because he has the shits with the refer system, but I could still hear him shout "Not out, Rauf Mauf!"

[Tony]

Observations about the two fielding sides.

The Windies stopped heaps of runs both with good field settings.

Aussie shots seemed to dawdle towards the boundary; whereas any time the Windies beat the infield the balls cruises to the fence.

Guess what I'm trying to say is that the Windies had far better fields that were both run saving and attacking.

Gayle might be a goose with the bat, blasé about Test cricket, too cool for school, but his (and/or team hierarchy's) fields, coupled with his bowlers' ability to bowl to them, was uniformly excellent.

Ponting's fields appear mechanical, and lack instinct.

[Russ]

Ritz is a good choice to Gayle. Gayle clearly has no respect for him, which as we well know from watching the Australian bats facing innocuous spinners, is no bad thing for the bowler.

On selections, Roebuck made the good point the other day that we should start with a blank piece of paper and reselect the team from scratch. Siddle and Hilfenhaus being injured makes dropping Studs difficult. He might not be in the top 3 bowlers we have, but he must be in the top 5, no? The bowling selections aren't so bad though, with the possible superfluous selection of Ritz with North in the side. In England, here, it is failure of well set batsmen to make tons that is killing us. Time to start picking players who make big scores, and trust that the discipline and ability you need to do it once can be repeated.

[Tony]

Stupid referral.

Not out.

[Tony]

The Hilfenhaus injury is looking crucial.

Not so bullish about Siddle, who has bowled ok and without luck, but needs a ball that moves away from the right handers.

[Tony]

My red lights are flashing: Gayle's going to get a hundred.

[Tony]

Sarwan gone to Studs.

2/61.

Zippy, bouncy, but borderline SGW.

[Tony]

KO'K has shown his better side today; less theatre, more cricket.

First: Kerry and Jim had an interesting discussion about the 15 degree law which, without ranting or outright criticism, left the listener in no doubt as to their opinions regarding the change to the bowling laws.

Second: Are you sick of hearing MITCHELL!! and Faz repeat that Adrian Barra was "unlucky" to be run out at the bowler's end? Kerry had obviously had enough, too, saying enough of the "unlucky" and more of the "bad cricket; he dawdled up the pitch".

[David]

Excellent double teaming on the TV commentary for the wicket.

TG: This replay will be very interesting ... if he's moved outside the line, then he's not out.

(Shows replay, which hits him right in front of middle stump, and then goes on the hit top of middle)

Tubby: That's about as plumb as you're going to get.

[Tony]

David, there's been a lot of plumb elbees this series. It's nice to see a batsman finally accept it.

[The Don has risen]

I would like to say the worst change to the LOTG was getting rid of mankading so batting cheats can prosper

[Tony]

They got rid of mankadding? I didn't know that.

[Bruce]

Could the bowling look any more pedestrian?

[Tony]

No.

[Tony]

What's that you say? Gayle, a hundred? It's doubtful he will ever cruise to an easier ton.

[Adsy]

Hope they hit 120 in this last session. Gayle going off would put a bit of excitement into the day hopefully.

And bowl Kat too.

[Tony]

Surely Kat gets a roll. He must be spraying them in the nets.

[Tony]

Is Nine talking declarations yet? There are 32 overs left today; they've been scoring at 3-per; that's about 100 runs; a lead of 300-odd.

Would Gayle declare leaving Australia to score 300 in a day? Not likely; not if the pitch continues to play as comfortably as it has.

At this rate the Windies would declare around an hour into tomorrow, at the earliest.

[Vindicate]

Dammit, someone dig up K.Packer and do a Bernies with him to make Nein stop going to the news early.

[Tony]

Someone needs to make K-Fraud legislate the cricket onto Foxtel.

Looks like the Windies are roughly where I predicted. 49 in the first hour after tea; 44 in the next; lead by 290; four overs to go.

That is "challenging target" territory. Can't see 'em pulling the pin - if they don't get rolled - before at least a lead of 350.

They are no doubt gun-shy after a spanking, but they aren't giving themselves their best chance of pushing for the win.

[nick]

A draw is as good as a win for the Windies - can't blame them for playing not to lose. Their laid back captain, who allegedly doesn't give a stuff about Test Cricket, has just made a bigger score than any Australian batsman since Brad Hodge.

Starting with North and Hauritz was daft. Hauritz at one end, Johnson, a shed load of close fielders/slips, and a licence to just go for it at the other end, and then Bubbles is what I would have picked. Instead, I sat on the hill and waited to stuff Australia's crowd catching record.

[nick]

Mea culpa - Symonds, Ponting, Katich and Haddin have all hit more than Gayle in the last couple of years - but not by much...so I should have delayed the comment for half a day.

[Tony]

Uh-ohh, rain break cricket. On recent exposed form we will be all out before tea.

[m0nty]

Right, that's it, Haddin doesn't even go for a catch that is clearly his. DROP HIM. Anyone would be better.

[Bruce]

FFS!! Haddin just watches a ball that every keeper in the world should go for.

Loss coming up I think. Mentally not there.

[m0nty]

Hats off to Gayle. That 165 is a monumental effort when no other batsman managed more than 27.

[Tony]

Who said Gayle was a crap captain? It was excellent captaincy to orchestrate a carry.

[RT]

Gale carries his bat. A superb effort. His greatest innnings.
Studly and Bolly's figures surely flattered them. Ritz a step back, especially if Benn gets more wickets. Siddle, although hampered, needs either a rest or some test wickets fast. Toothless attack even with a benign pitch. Although how benign will be played out today. Good in a way to have the Aussie batsmen under pressure.

[The Don has risen]

My bowlers for Perth would be Johnson and Champers. They both will have the Fremantle doctor to help them.
Also Motels would bowl well into the doctor given his splendid awayswingers.

An off spinner also has the doctor to use so put in Horrie as there appears no-one else around. Where where is a decent wristspinner?

I am afraid every batsman have done a Graham Wood. Despite wanting to drop any you can't as yet

[Tony]

Looks like I'm not the only cynic:

Glenn at Crooky: "Completely selfish approach by Gayle, more interested in the perceived kudos of carrying his bat than setting a target. Typical of his captaincy and entire career."

[The Don has risen]

Just remember if you have only won 3 out of your last 30 test you are looking not to lose rather than winning.

Did Gayle's play a breezy innings?

[Tony]

Is Help-House fit? I wouldn't pick Siddle with a suss hammy.

Bowlers: Bolly, Studs, McKay & Ritz

Wicky: Klutz

AR: Paper Cut

Batsmen: Katich, North, Clarke, Ponting and it's time to step aside, Huss. Keep PC at the top of the order for the time being and give, well, I dunno... is any Shield batsman worth a lash?

[m0nty]

I wouldn't have declared either. Bat it out. NGASAEB.

[Tony]

Way to play sensible, Kat, you goose.

1/33.

Could be a long day.

Time to pray for rain?

[The Don has risen]

the bowleroligist says he will be

[m0nty]

Punter is the big pole here but he's looking scratchy as ever. He would silence a lot of us doubting Nevilles with a matchwinning knock here.

[Bruce]

Shameless for Brazen.

Gayle's did the right thing for mine. Runs per minute were the order. I think he still wants a chance to win the match and less time to be chased down. Best innings of the summer so far.

[Tony]

Like I wrote above, he seems more intent on making a point than making runs. It would do his reputation no end of good if he managed to construct a sensible score.

PS: Bump-balls rock.

[Tony]

268 from two sessions - surely not.

[m0nty]

Punter punches out. Odds on Clarke surviving until tea?