FIRST TEST: THE GABBA

Time to revisit November 2007:

DAY ONE

most speculation has centered on our attack, with the emphasis on our ability to replace Warne and McGrath; especially their ability to pinch a wicket when things were starting to dawdle. We all remember Sydney 2004 when the Indians spanked us for 705, and none of us want a repeat. That! was gruesome.

Just last week I hacked the email server at the University of East Anglia’s Bowling Research Unit and discovered that yes, Australian bowling had indeed performed at odds with projected modelling. Chief scientist Andrew Hilditch admitted to me that his claim the Australians performed statistically better than England in the 2009 Ashes was an attempt to hide the decline; contrary to BRU modelling, Australia had, in fact, lost the Ashes.

Would Australia have lost to South Africa in either Perth or Melbourne had Warne & McGrath been playing? Would they have drawn in Cardiff? Of course not. We would have rolled SA (despite the WACA track being a day five road), and in England taken a 1-0 lead and most likely cruised to a series victory.

Not that Australia's loss was a surprise to me:

WIPEOUT AUSTRALIA

I give us a good chance of winning in South Africa.

Even stranger, on the back of that, I can't see us winning in England.

South Africa prepare pitches to suit our style of fast bowling; a bit like we used to prepare pitches for the Windies. England, on the other hand, was always going to prepare pitches to take the edge off our fast bowling, comfortable in the knowledge that slower pitches are no longer going to favour our less-than dynamic spinners.

Where does that leave us at November 2009? Well, about the same place we were in November 2007: struggling to bowl sides out and lucky to be playing a weak side. Will we need Rudi to bail us out against the Windies like he did when he fired Kumar at No.3 in Bellerive? Don't forget we struggled to roll the Windies over there last year, and even benefited from the odd not-home-town decision.

Speaking of Rudi: referrals. Wonder if the electronic umpiring will provide as much fun as it did in South Africa.

Comments

[The Don has risen]

SA was a fluke.
Steyn should have taken at least 24 wickets but for some reason bowled short like all the aardvark bowlers.

Our bowling attack does look limited however it is the Windies who have a chanderpauling lineup

[Tony]

Time to set the scene for the toss:

A TOSS-UP

Graham Yallop 6/7 matches
Kim Hughes 13/28
Allan Border 46/93
Mark Taylor 26/50
Adam Gilchrist 4/6
Steve Waugh 31/57
Ricky Ponting 26/61

[Tony]

Ponting, you see, is not called Punter without a good reason.

"I know a little about odds and the concept of value on the racetrack and the so-called laws of probability - the idea is to get the odds in your favour and then bet accordingly."

How many times have you heard that from a track fan? Pretty much every rabbits on about their wins, blithely oblivious - on the surface, at least - to the amount they lose.

Ponting the Punter needs to have that traditional sobriquet inserted in the middle: Ponting the mug Punter.

[Tony]

My magic worked:

Australia have won the toss and will bat first. "I like this ground a lot. This is one of the best Test wickets you play on - there's always a result. It's probably a fraction drier than normal but that's half the reason I decided to bat today."

[The Don has risen]

Sarwan out bye bye Windies unless it blows a gayle however those weather pattrns usualy only occur in shorter versions

[Russ]

Good morning one and all. So, rolled by Tim Southee last year, which run-of-the-mill trundler will knock us over this morning?

Ah crud, Ian Healy, where's the mute?

On coin tossing, Ponting is an idiot, always choose the side facing up. Any moderately clever captain, knowing Ponting always calls heads can start on tails and be (very) slightly more likely to win.

[Tony]

Last year during the Indian tour it was reported that the Indians fancied winning the majority of tosses because they always knew Ponting was going to call heads.

Kemar Roach - 2009's Southee.

[Tony]

Shock! Horror!

The Indomitable Paper Cut of Steel is out elbee yet again.

Australia 1/0.

[Russ]

Oh Paper Cut, you daft twit. If you are going to get out LB, at least miss it with the bat.

Gatorade really picked their man this summer, Slot and Jaques make an appearance (on the ad).

[Tony]

How long before the selectors bite the Watson bullet and move him to the middle order? Or do they think Watson can only be picked as an opener?

Watson
Katich
Ponting
Hussey
Clarke
North
Haddin
Johnson
Hauritz
HIlfenhaus
Siddle

The selectors luurrve Watto, but if he continues to fail as an opener and North gets runs, the only spot for Watto is "on the pine". Sorry, "on the poyne."

[Russ]

Um, okay. Ponting had a look at that pull shot from what? Two feet wide of the stumps. Is it just me, or does Ponting come out with more intent these days? Rather than nervous, a kind of post-nervous idea to boss the game before he is in.

[Russ]

It is always a worry when a player does well but only makes 50 odd (as PC did in England repeatedly). It means their overall average won't be more than 30 odd, taking into account the inevitable bad times, and it cuts 50-100 off the team total when they are the player that has done well. Take into account a worrying technical deficiency with the ball coming in, and I can't see him making it out of the Windies series.

[Tony]

Is Crooky dead?

[m0nty]

I don't recall Haydos ever getting out for a duck not offering a shot. Nup, never happened.

[Tony]

Lightbulb! Watto does a Haydos: takes guard three feet down the pitch, then as the bowler delivers, strolls three paces down the pitch, then he pads up.

[nick]

Crooky has inherited Paper Cut's malady - and is out with technical difficulties.

[Adsy]

Watto - one day non-shot.

[m0nty]

Ah good, Crooky is back. Thank Don, that WWOS site was more annoying than Darrell Eastlake's voice.

[nick]

55 off 12 overs - back to the days of boot filling or one step closer to the slugging of fading champions?

[Russ]

The bowling looks dangerous enough. The problem is every over has at least one ball getting smacked to the fence.

[Tony]

Refer madness, we love you.

[m0nty]

Predictions on referral success for the series? Gayle seems the impetuous sort who won't conserve his challenges. Punter will be more conservative, I reckon.

[m0nty]

Ah geez, they're already banging on about over rates. Let's face it, these Tests aren't going to be draws. Let them play.

[Tony]

Crash is already into PC: SHANE WATSON - is he really a Test opener?

[Russ]

Better than solid score for the session, tinged with a little luck at times. The Windies are playing better than I expected, which is good, because all signs point to them getting beaten soundly regardless.

[Tony]

1/114 after 1/0 is pretty good going.

[The Don has risen]

Windies do not do enough with the ball to worry the OZZIES.

Simply swinging it would have their feet all over the place.

Have the pakis backed themselves or the OZZIES?

They have backed the Kiwis in the first test

[Russ]

Christ, talk about a mercy kill. Kemar Roach has had Ponting in all sorts since lunch. Good to see a quick tall Windies paceman. He's looks the best bowler they've had since Courtney Walsh retired.

[Tony]

Ponting gone.

2/126

Yet another aggressive innings, peppered with mis-hits and appeals for LB, capped with a dismissal between 50 and 100.

[Tony]

I've already got the complete shits up with Glenn MATCHWELL!!! Which is a bit unfair to Jim, who was excellent in the Ashes.

[Russ]

Hilarious, Bravo drops Shameless off Benn, Benn drops Kat off Bravo. Pity though, 4/183 would be a much more interesting total.

[Russ]

Ah, good catch to remove the Kat. Typical knock from him, does all the work, gets out before getting to his ton.

[Tony]

Kat must have felt guilty, gifting a cheap dismissal down leg.

3/200.

[Tony]

Clarke in just before the break. Let's get ready to tremble!

[Bruce]

There are some signs that it isn't all one way traffic.

The Aussies will easily go past 300, which is par for 1st day 'Gabba tests, but will they be 3 down or 6 down?

[Russ]

Interesting discussion of the referral system during the break - once you get past the typical "oh it's so complicated" whinging from the commentary team. It is vastly superior to what they trialled last year. I can't see many referrals being over-turned mind you, but so be it. I'd also like (as I said last year) to allow one new referral per session, otherwise teams will blow one off early, and only refer a second if they are desperate.

[Bruce]

And just looking around there is about 20 hours of cricket a day available to viewing glutton.

NZ v Pak kicks off the day.
Aus v WI for main course.
Ind v SL to fill out the day.
Eng v SA for a late night snack.

[m0nty]

I come home from an arvo of shopping to see Mr Cricket provide Big Benn with a dolly return catch. Normal service has resumed.

[Bruce]

Another score not converted by Shameless.

[m0nty]

How many 50s are not going to be converted by Australian batsmen this series? Pretty much all of them?

[Russ]

Oh look, Clarke got out late in the day, exposing the tail to the new ball. What a f'n surprise.

[m0nty]

Another score frittered away late in a session by Pup. Who perhaps should be rechristened as Pop.

[nick]

LeeBee from Paper Cut of Steel - check.
Gritty half centuries from HusseyM and the Kat, meaningless in this Test and in the context of the next 18 months - check.
Slugging innings from Ponting that never looked like reaching a large 100 - check.
Most overrated cricketer in the country gets out at a crucial juncture - check.

Bah.

[Russ]

On those other games though Bruce. The one down in New Zealand looks like it has been very entertaining. Good to see Bond is back. Sri Lanka are in horrible trouble against India, 5 down, 500 behind and the batsman marked down for no. 8 averages 5 in test cricket! That's a lengthy tail.

[The Don has risen]

I want to tony myself so Pakistan will lose to NZ but beat us

[Tony]

Question on referrals.

The fielding side gives a massive "that is absolutely plumb and if you give it not out we will pout and grumble and act as if we were robbed" appeal; the umpire gives the batsman not out; the fielding side does not ask for a referral.

Where does that leave the initial appeal?

[Tony]

Brendan Nash as a West Indian cricketer is a curiosity, but no one bats an eyelid at the Windies picking Adrian Barich.

[Tony]

For the fifth time in the innings a commentator has said "Australia are starting to motor now" only for a wicket to immediately fall.

6/371.

[Bruce]

I was doing a bit of idle stats gathering on the 'Gabba the with initial idea that the pitch should be the template for test pitches. To me it seems to be a very 'fair' wicket with pace and bounce offering bat and ball something for those that earn it and there was almost always a result. But then the results suggest I might be looking through the rose raybans as the results have been ridiculously one-sided for the last 20 years. The last Aussie loss was in 1988 to the Windies. Barath hadn't even been born then.

15 wins and 5 draws are the last 20 matches at the 'Gabba.

[Tony]

And of the top of my head, at least two of those draws - 1992 WI and 2001 NZ - were draws because of rain.

Maybe Australia's dominance at the Gabba is because it's generally the first Test of the summer and most visiting teams aren't ready to for combat.

[Yobbo]

Is it just me or did Johnson get absolutely dudded by the referral?

He didn't hit it, hotspot shows nothing, and yet he's still given out?

What's the point of using referrals if the benefit of the doubt is reversed?

[Russ]

Yobbo, the benefit goes to the umpire, for good or ill. I don't mind that, but given how few decisions are clear-cut, the chances of a referral succeeding are probably pretty low.

[Yobbo]

Well this referral would have undoubtedly succeeded if they had a decent camera angle. It was quite clear from the replays they showed that Johnson didn't hit it, but because the camera couldn't show the edge of the bat on hotspot, the replay was basically completely useless according to the letter of the laws they have.

Basically if he did hit, you would have seen the hotspot on the angle given, but seeing as there was no hotspot (because there was no nick) to be seen, and you couldn't see the outermost edge of Johnson's bat, it was 'inconclusive'. Pretty crazy if you ask me.

[Russ]

Short memories on the cricket show: "Brian Lara is without a doubt, the greatest West Indian cricketer of all time". Without a doubt, the most hyperbolic statement I've heard today.

[Yobbo]

On the other hand, he is - without a doubt - the most selfish and overrated cricketer of all time.

[The Don has risen]

come on down Neville.

yobbo has never heard of Geoff Boycott who broke all records for Waverly whilst they came LAST!

Score is now too high for the Windies however I am still worried about the lack of quality in our attack

[David Barry]

There was a case in the South African tour where everyone agreed that there was a nick and Hotspot didn't show it. So I'm not sure how justifiable it would be to use Hotspot to overturn a caught-behind decision.

[Bubble Oliver]

Lara is The Best West Indian Cricketer of All Time. And so is Gary Sobers.

[Adsy]

Why isn't snicko used in the referral system?

They showed it shortly after, and I reckon it was pretty conclusive evidence that he hit the pad and the ball missed the edge.

They used every other sort of technology apart from the one that actually worked!

[Tony]

I don't think the Windies have done their pre-tour research. They didn't know Ritzy could bat, so they gave Peter North singles, then bowled shit-short to Ritz hoping they could scare him out.

Just like us to Swan & Broad & pretty much any semi-capable low order player.

[Tony]

They didn't use the 3 Ball Tracker.

Thankfully.

[Tony]

The commentators were very quick to jump to the conclusion Johnson was out. There was little, if any, analysis relating to why Studsy might cop a reprieve.

Their conclusions amounted to little more than "there's nothing to prove he missed it, and anyway, it seemed out."

[Tony]

Seemingly, when it comes to "seemed", it seemed to me the look on Johnson's face seemed to say "Don't be stupid! I missed that."

[Tony]

Crash on referral: Fix the bugs.

I didn’t want to support the system because it is not what cricket should be and it teaches youngsters to challenge authority. But I’ve been worn down. Rudi Koertzen has got me. And a few others. You just get tired of seeing major series swing on dud decisions.

[m0nty]

Teaches youngsters to challenge authority? Why is that a bad thing? Crash really is an old, old man.

[Tony]

8/480.

They declared? Why? We aren't 551 yet.

[Russ]

Um, why did we declare?

[m0nty]

Mercy rule.

[Tony]

Dumb declaration.

I guess we find out if the pitch is as easy as it looks.

[Bruce]

I think the current system best suits my sensibilities. It is an anti-howler mechanism. The ruling on the field stays unless there is a very good reason to overturn it. That will catch the worst of the Rudis or Morgans while still letting the umpires make their decisions.

Like Crash I have changed my mind. I can't remember exactly which batch of shockers forced me to reassess my position - but I think it was a Clownden Rudi combo.

[Bruce]

MORE DISCIPLINE!!

FFS another no-ball 'wicket'!

[Tony]

Well, whaddaya know. Haddin takes a screamer, but Siddle's bowled a no ball.

Clowns!

[Tony]

Another first: Role reversal, as Studsy stems the deluge of runs.

[m0nty]

I think we need a referral for that Maccas ad. There is no way a bloke that fat and ugly would score a date with a hot piece of totty like that. Unless he was a millionaire, I suppose.

[Tony]

Nicholas is just explaining a graphic which categorically proves that more people are watching cricket on Nine now than were watching cricket on Nine in 1960/61: lots vs none.

[The Don has risen]

hey that bubbles is a fake.
He would say he is the greatest player of all time

[Nick]

Would Australia have declared against south Africa or india? NGASAEB!!!!

[Tony]

Gayle has a nerve challenging that. Plumber than all the lead in Rome.

1/49.

[Nick]

Hail Mary referral from Gayle. Shows his confidence in his glass batting line up!

[Tony]

"Sharp catch" indeed, Bill.

2/49.

Hit the bricks back to WA, Barra.

[Tony]

Good, bloody, gawd.

Ponting grasses an outrageous sitter.

[Tony]

Krab Chanders has a nerve challenging that, too. That's plumb, Bob.

3/58.

[Tony]

Good catch, PC.

4/63.

Excellent catch, in fact.

[Bruce]

PCoS seems a decent slipper but Mug Punter is getting very pie-stained.

[Tony]

Dion Nash will be pissed off at his dismissal to a wide bouncer.

5/96.

Initially I thought it was classic SGW, but the ball had a little extra zip on it.

[Bruce]

Even the ABC left early today.

Ripped off!

[Vindicate]

Colour me intrigued, what pitch being watered during the match was Richie musing about?

[Vindicate]

Never mind, he's just obliged.

[Tony]

Is Richie still talking about that match in 1954? It was the 54 match, wasn't it? He likes talking about that Test.

[Tony]

Since you're asking about clichés. Chappelli was still saying "The best way to find out for sure if you're out is to look in the paper the next day." He never tires of disinterring that one.

[Tony]

And since you're asking about referrals. The decision from Siddle & Ponting to refer Ramdin's LB was a combination of speculation and hope. It was clearly not out.

[Vindicate]

Yeah was the '54 match.

Big Benn looks ungainly but still swinging, can see this getting ugly if SGW and Sizzle lose their patience and start serving up pies.

On. The. Pegs.

[Tony]

Watching the Aussie bowlers bowl at opposition tails is, in the words of the noted cricket connoisseur Daffy Duck: "A. Go. Knee."

[Tony]

Acting in defence of the bowlers.

Roads.

Billiard table outfields.

Roped off boundaries for smaller grounds.

Tail enders who practice batting more than they used to.

Rocket-fuelled extreme-bats.

[Tony]

By the way.

Where's Hauritz?

[Vindicate]

Not sure this one qualifies as a road anymore, not quite the grand canyon running down the middle just yet but should be something alike come day five.

[Vindicate]

There he is.

[Vindicate]

And again!

[Tony]

The Ritzecutioner.

True enough about the pitch; it's not perfect. Still, as the pitch stands, the tail are mostly free to swing through the line which means they can tee off against the speedsters.

[Vindicate]

Don't even think about it Ricky. Bat.