FIFTH TEST: THE OVAL

I've had enough of the knee-jerkers who have, since Headingley, infested the media with wild predictions about how Australia already have the Fifth Test wrapped up. I also had enough of their predictions after Edgbaston that the better balanced and performed England were all set to win the series.

Crash sums it up best:

HOW bad are the Poms?

LET’s be frank about this ... if England win this Ashes series it will be a dark moment in Australia’s cricket history.

The further this series has stretched the less respect we have had for this modest England team.

If this series has confirmed anything is is how cricketers can gain an inflated reputation on the back of performances against rubbish teams.

Ravi Bopara, a superstar when he was playing the West Indies, has been exposed as being technically flawed.

Ian Bell, who has eeked out a beuatiful living just being Mr Average in England’s middle order, has again showed he lacks the class to match it with the best. His lack of passion and personality grates on English fans and rivals.

Paul Collingwood is a solid scrapper but he’s no champion.

Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cooke are useful openers but please don’t mention them in the same breath as John Edrich or Geoff Bocyott or Michael Vaughan.

England have such little depth they considered recalling Mark Ramprakash who is 39 and averaged just 27 in his 51 Tests.

I’ll repeat that average in case you thought it was a misprint ... 27.

England lack world class players.

And yet they are one win away from snatching back the Ashes.

It makes you wonder ... how bad are we going?

Watching the USPGA the other morning I was struck by a strong parallel between Tiger's first two holes and the Aussies at Cardiff. Had Tiger sunk his birdy putt on either of those holes he would have been away. But, he didn't. He was unable to pull away from Yang and eventually Yang holed an eagle to pinch the lead and the tournament.

Will Cardiff's missed chance be the legacy of The 2009 Ashes?

By failing to take a 1-0 lead at the start of the series, the Aussies, one of two evenly matched sides, have left England with a chance to pinch the series at The Oval. One lucky moment, one inspired spell of bowling, one dropped Aussie catch, one great Pommy catch, one umpiring howler and the Test can be won/lost.

And then there's the toss. Here's an idea: change the rules to allow team sheets to be submitted after the toss, not before. I imagine a dynamic and responsive organisation like the ICC will be able to have such a minor modification to the Laws Of The Game up and ratified by tomorrow.

Comments

[m0nty]

Evenly matched, bollocks. Maybe before KP got injured and Freddie broke down. If we can't beat them without their only two world-class players, then we're a rabble.

If we only cop one umpiring howler this Test then I would be very happy, because that would certainly drop the average.

[Big Ramifications]

predictions about how Australia already have the Fifth Test wrapped up

This.

This has got me very worried.

And what of the numerous Englishmen pushing this line of "reasoning"? Is this a case of double reverse psychology on their part?

m0nty - KP was a huge loss. Fack, that guy has heart. As big a loss as Pigeon for Australia when he rolled his ankle back in 2005.

[what's the Sportsbet odds on an outright England win?]

[Big Ramifications]

sorry, forgot to close the italics after the quote in the first line...

[Adsy]

Will this match be seen as the making or breaking of Ricky Ponting as Captain? There's a good article here that suggests this game will define his legacy.

If he comes out and makes a big hundred and the side wins, he comes out as a captain that has beaten South Africa and England away, without the stars the apparently good captains have had in the past. However lose and he becomes only the second Australian captain in history to lose two series in England (Billy Murdoch around 120 years ago was the first)

Captaining World Cups, 5-0 home Ashes whitewashes, and averaging 56 in Tests and 42 in ODI's will probably also include this fact. Not as big an asterisk as some other players we talk about, but still important all the same.

[Tony]

Let me get those leany letters for ya, Biggy Talics.

[Russ]

Fascinating (but entirely unsurprising) comment from Border in that article Adsy:

"I asked him about potentially sliding down the order to take some pressure off, but he wouldn’t hear of that. I think he’s still in a good place. He’s still very fit, still playing very well and he just loves the game."

These back to back tests have become such a habit that the wait between Headingly and here has seemed to be forever. Too long to make any predictions based on momentum, or some other rubbish. The series is all square, both sides are heavily flawed but evenly matched. At their best, Australia will win. If they aren't all there, and it is rare they are all there, they might win, but it won't be pretty.

[Yobbo]

"Will this match be seen as the making or breaking of Ricky Ponting as Captain?"

No, everyone has known for years he is a plodding and unimaginative captain. Winning or losing this test based on his own great batting won't change that. Captaincy and cricket skill are 2 different things. Making hundreds doesn't make you a good captain.

If you want examples of good captaincy, look at the ability of Steven Fleming to win matches where nobody in the team made a hundred and nobody bowled well either. He simply out-strategised the opposition.

Winning matches because Warney took 6/10 or Clarke makes 200 doesn't reflect on the captain in any way except for maybe saying good on him for remembering to pick that guy.

[Adsy]

I'm not for one minute trying to link Punter's personal form with his captaincy - Mark Taylor, being one of our great captains was an innings or two away from being dropped for his batting and can attest to that.

I still think after 60 Tests if you are able to win or at the very least save five out of every six matches (with a lot of dead rubber losses in that) you have to still be able to handle your side. He wouldn't have had that many chances with Warne and McGrath in the side to pull off the Fleming type captaincy moves. Whether or not these players had covered up his shortcomings is where I'm coming from - this is a perfect time to show if he knows his stuff.

[The Old Batsman]

Can't disagree with your analysis of England, worse luck, although yeah, we'd be better with the full, fit team on the pitch. Strauss is no boycott agreed, but I'd say he'll have given Edrich a run for his money once his test career is over.

Ponting's legacy as a captain is already made, I think. It'll only be redefined at the Oval by a loss. If he wins, he'll still rank below the last three.

[The Don has risen]

Both teams are ordinary.
Until Clark came in and brought pressure on at one end our bowlers were four bowlers.
Siddle is very very lucky to play test cricket. At some stage batsmen will wake up that to play Johnson to square up your stance and wait for the short ball to cut otherwise play him off the hip to leg. You have to be unlucky if the ball swings!
Hotels is our only decent bowler.

if the ball swings we are cactus. if it doesn't we score a lot.
England rely to much on a few batsman and their bowlers do not know what to do when the ball won't swing.
Freddie isn't a patch on 2005.

there are very few decent captains. to be sure Taylor was one and should have been dropped

[Tony]

If the ball swings ENGLAND are cactus, too.

[The Don has risen]

Tony Australian bowlers have only used the conditions well once.

The poms have a better record and we will noy have Clark

[Tony]

Noy according to 65-35 Crash.

Poms have had good swing conditions twice, us once. Both sides have cashed in when it suited.

[RT]

That online Craddock is good stuff. One bloke posed the Q - when was the last time the Pommie team didn't have a former captain in the side. Fair Q thought Crash, probably early 90's with Athers. Highlighting the Pommie lack of confidence.

Crash is entertain and pretty insightful. He was the first on the Symonds = idiot wagon early last year while all the others were fawning over the media darling. He should be an Inside Cricket regular when that comes back.

[Adsy]

Saw Crash on The Back Page with Mike Gibson, Billy Birmingham and "resident Sydney journo who only knows about league" the other night. Was quite good actually, knew a bit about most sports, but went full bore when it came to cricket. Would fit really well with the other guys on IC.

[m0nty]

Adsy: so that would be two journos on that panel who only know about league, then.

[Adsy]

Yes, it was quite leaguey. Anything AFL was met with a Darius Boyd level of scrutiny.

[m0nty]

Dammit, lost the toss. Sack Punter now before he does any more damage!

[Bruce]

GAH!!! Tails never fails Punter!!!

But no change to the line-up makes me happy.

Get stuck in boys - that first wicket could see another procession.

[Adsy]

I change my tune from before... everyone knows tails never fails Punter. Poor captaincy, he should have known that from the backyard. Even in Tassie.

[m0nty]

That pitch looks like a bloody road.

[Lurker]

Ponting- lousy tosser. Worth sacking on that score alone.

Hilfy's radar is off.

[m0nty]

Work that stupid lacquer off lads.

[Tony]

Evening, all.

Regarding the toss.

Ponting needs to consult an expert - me.

On the half dozen occasions I called a toss during my footy and cricket career, I tossed a coin in the rooms beforehand and whatever that toss came up with, I went with out on the ground.

I only lost once.

[Tony]

And I won every toss in the rooms.

[Tony]

Any chance Hilf will get his haus in order.

[Lurker]

Ah, that's a soft dismissal by Captain Cook.

[Tony]

Cook out!

Caught Ponting, bowled Sizzler!

Go you good, Vic. (And Tassie bloke.)

Spot on, Lurkio - soft Cook.

[Bruce]

SIZZZ!!!!!

Get into 'em now boys!

The new worst #3 in the world.

[Tony]

As the philosopher Townshend wrote:

"Meet the new worst, same as the old worst."

~~ Will Get Caught Again.

[Tony]

Crooky sinks the claws in:

Much better length from Siddle (to Cook) - excellent delivery. Horrid shot, mind - no need to touch those deliveries, and it was a meek, indecisive little poke. Talking of such things - here's Ian Bell.

[m0nty]

Strauss out, all out, this mob. The slips need to start chirping at him more.

[Lurker]

Asud Rauf looks ridiculous with his nose swathed in suncream.

It is odd that Pakistan's leading export these days appears to be competent cricket umpires.

[m0nty]

Ha ha, Bell gloved one behind, no one went up.

[Tony]

That's off the wrist band.

Just walk, Sherm. You know you were out.

[Tony]

Lurk: "It is odd that Pakistan's leading export these days appears to be competent cricket umpires."

And terro... ahem.

[m0nty]

TMS already talking about appealing for the light.

[m0nty]

Teensy bit of shape for Clark's first nut.

[Tony]

TMS are always praying for interruptions. Gives them a chance to go with their favourite past-time: talking about cakes.

[Tony]

Want to read a footy rumour?

No?

I'll tell you anyway:

Story doing the rounds about Tom Scully, the consensus number 1 pick.

He was brought up by his single mum and Carlton are now in the process of trying to prove that his biological father played 100+ games for them and that they can take him father/son.

All sounds crazy, but this is Carlton we are talking about.

[m0nty]

Come on Johnno, this is your series to win.

[Tony]

Come on, Sherm, you hack. Just get off. Put us out of your misery.

[m0nty]

I read that rumour on the large football site, TT. Fair to say it's vying for the most ridiculous rumour of the year.

[Lurker]

How did Ian Bell ever get past county cricket? He's really not much chop at playing the short ball.

[Tony]

Mont. I posted it as a gag on Demonland and so far not too many people have taken it seriously.

Didn't know it was on Large Football. Will have a slum now, see what they say.

[m0nty]

Ah, so you're the culprit! Well played if so.

[Tony]

Can't find it on BF. (Actually, I can barely ever find anything on BF.)

Is there a link?

[m0nty]

Hmm, I think it may have been deleted. That was where I saw it though.

[Tony]

Not great bowling this morning. Not bad. Probably down to the lack of life in the track.

Looks like the Poms took a punt on Ponting calling the toss wrong and have made sure the track will turn big time when they bowl last.

Although, just now Stuey has got some nice shape.

[Tony]

Typical. The BF set-up is all over the shop.

My DL post is here.

[Tony]

Bell is looking pseudo-ominous. He is going to hack, clunk and plop his way to a score.

[m0nty]

Bell's done a hammy. Perfick.

[Nick]

Obviously Bells heart is in his leg.

[Tony]

Surely Bell hasn't done a hammy?!?

(Beautiful, Nick.)

Send out the physio and another set of gloves.

[Nick]

Muscle tear secondary to hair product overdose.

[m0nty]

Good ball to a bloke with a gammy leg, Hotels.

[Tony]

Around 1/100 at lunch, 3/300 at stumps, all out 500+.

Then the pitch starts turning.

This is looking ugly.

[Nick]

Isn't this where Warne comes on and bowls Strauss?

[Tony]

This pitch is so easy for batting Bell is set to accidentally make the worst 100 in the history of Test cricket.

[Tony]

Where's Hauritz? What goose wanted a four man pace attack?

[m0nty]

Evidently the English authorities have settled on a 1-1 draw as a moral victory.

[Bruce]

I think this pitch might be setup for a reverse swing setup. Make it dry to scuff things up because they think reverse is where they have the edge.

[Bruce]

It's full value for shots out there. 20 boundaries already and not that many pies have been sent down.

[Tony]

There can be no doubt the Poms have got a pitch made to order. The very last thing they wanted was a track with life which would assist the Aussies main weapon.

[Lurker]

Not enough solid line and length bowling and too much roobish! Oh well.

[m0nty]

Piss off Strauss, shocking shot, on yer bike ya Vark.

[m0nty]

That was a lovely mozz by Maxwell, talking up how well Strauss had been leaving the ball. Then the big Saffer hangs his bat out to dry and gets a nick. Big pole.

[Nick]

Picked it. Remember two tests ago when Strauss got out after a break...
Now through the hardcasing, now for the soft chewy middle. But...pies for 200?

[Tom Le]

Nah, Colly to go in single figures...

[Tony]

We've started already? I was watching The Family Guy. This low, slow road is Pies' dream track.

[Tony]

Why are short sleeves called shirt sleeves?

[Nick]

KP wouldhave been carving us up at 3 here.

[Nick]

This will be the softest Test 100 ever from Bell.

[Tony]

50 to Bell?!? You have got to be kidding me. Been a long time since I've seen a more undeserving score.

[Nick]

In the pantheon of aesthetic crimes, Bell and Pies are up there with Krab and Jaques.

[Russ]

Evening all. Not exactly a great start. I'm blaming Bruce for anti-mozzing Bell earlier. Still, could be worse. Clark is keeping the game in check, without looking terribly dangerous either.

[m0nty]

CMJ on TMS has just called Hotels "pigeon-toed" twice in five minutes.

[Russ]

If Bell had such trouble with the short ball earlier, why haven't we bowled one at him in the past 30 minutes. He looks just fine flicking them off his pads.

[Adsy]

Was just going to say Russ theres been a bloody lot down the leg side in the first session, but I missed a bit watching the last 30 minutes of Zulu on Fox Classics. A bit like the Aussies at Cardiff - swarming all over them but couldn't or wouldn't finish them off when they had the chance.

[Tony]

Time to bring back Johnson to stick a few into Bell's throat.

[Nick]

If Pies had a set, that would have finished him. Ps : nice no ball to end Strauss' innings...

[Tony]

It's absurdly simple to hit fours on this billiard table.

[m0nty]

Come to think of it, Bell does look a bit like Michael Caine.

[Nick]

Poms 2.85 to win. 2.25 the draw. 3.60 Oz the win...

[Tony]

Nick, you're right. Just read it on Crooky. Fiasco D'Umpiring 2009 continues.

[Nick]

However, my mate Ravi reckons the Tie at 500 to 1 is a safe bet.

[Tony]

Is Ravi's idea of a safe bet also Melbourne for the 2009 premiership?

[Nick]

Ravi says even getting Melbourne into the 8 would be a suspicion arousing feat...hansie died trying to do it...

[Russ]

"Ideal" was the best thing on during the luncheon interval. Took me a while to work out what was going on, but it has its charms.

For some weird reason Hilf's bowling action reminds me of Steve Waugh. Not exactly a promising comparison, but he's bowling moderately well. Studs on the other hand, is a danger to his slips coordon and his average.

And what a bloody disgraceful use of statistics that "leading wicket taker" list is. Spinners make the list because they have long careers you blithering twits. Start by comparing the average of all bowlers, not the f'n top dozen, then realise that even that is, at best, largely irrelevant to the question over Ritz.

[m0nty]

Was Hansie the real father of Tom Scully?

[Adsy]

Talking about Zulu, do you reckon if the Poms win this they will hand out VC's instead of OBE's? Interesting comparisons below:

Corporal William Wilson Allen = Cook
Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead = Strauss
Lieutenant John Rouse Merriott Chard = Bell
Acting Assistant Commissary James Langley Dalton = Collingwood
Private Frederick Hitch = Trott
Private Alfred Henry Hook = Flintoff heheh
Private Robert Jones = Prior
Private William Jones = Broad
Surgeon Major James Henry Reynolds = Anderson
Corporal Christian Ferdinand Schiess = Swann
Private John Williams = Harmison

Also, five men were awarded the Distinguished Conduct Medal. They were:

Colour Sergeant Frank Bourne = Panesar
Private John William Roy, The only Scottish defender at Rorke's Drift = KP
Second Corporal Michael McMahon, His medal was later withdrawn for desertion = Bopara hahaha
Second Corporal Francis Attwood Army Service Corps = Andy Flower
Wheeler John Cantwell Royal Horse Artillery = Onions

[Tony]

Gotta get Siddle on. Or Katich.

[Nick]

Looking at the Poms line up, Hansie might be the father of the future of England cricket.

[Russ]

10 no balls and 2 wides in 40 overs is a very ordinary effort.

[Nick]

Given that Hauritz would have come in for Clark or Siddle, and Clarks holding up sn end and Siddles got s top order wicket, how would you put Hauritz in this side? Warne for Siddle - yes.

[Tony]

Watto's health is injured.

[Russ]

That's an oddly shaped white mark on the bat being referred to as "nothing" there. Not that Pies was necessarily out there, mind, I just wouldn't mind a few more looks.

[Tony]

Must admit, I didn't think it was out; both live and in replay.

[Tony]

Snicko was more generous to the Aussies. A nick, but hard to match it with the bat/ball movement.

[Russ]

The spin of the ball is always the best indicator of an edge, which, to me, indicated a little nick. Not a big nick though, and no surprise it wasn't given.