THIRD TEST: EDGBASTON

We now return you to the scene of the crime:

Memories of Edgbaston resurface for Australians

Four years later, the debate still rages. What was Ricky Ponting thinking when he bowled first at Edgbaston, in the Test that turned the 2005 Ashes on his head?

Debate still rages, does it? If debate entails "When Ponting chose to bowl at Edgbaston in 2005, did he a) make a howler, or b) make an absolute howler? Discuss" then I suppose it does.

Apart from the obvious, that we lost the 2005 Ashes because Ponting bowled, there is also the flow-on effect: Ponting's mistake back then might cloud his judgement in 2009. You'd hope not. After all the Steve Rouse shenanigans in last week it appears that Ponting is set to judge the pitch on its merits. Hypothetically, what if he wins the toss and the conditions dictate that Australia must bowl? Would we? As it stands, it looks like the pitch is a road, so whoever wins the toss should bat. Contrary to speculation, it does not appear to be "a good toss to lose" type of pitch.

Speaking of the toss: win it.

Then there's the weather. The Birmingham forecast is for showers until Monday, with Sunday the only sunny day. When I say sunny, I mean the sun is almost just barely peeking out from behind a drizzly cloud in the BOM picture. Not much of an outlook for Australia, who need to win to get back on level terms.

The weather is reflected in the odds: Australia $4.75, England $3.00, the draw $1.85. How often over recent years have Australia gone in bookies' underdog in a live Test against England? Can't be too often. On second thought: is English favouritism such a bad thing? Poms with pudding heads could work in our favour. They are still a shithouse side - yes, we are shouse, too - which when combined with local anticipation/expectation of a win, is a recipe for England falling on their collective faces.

Lastly: the teams. For England, Bell is in for Pietersen. KP has been rubbish, but he's clearly dangerous. Australia will be happy he's out. Superficially, they will be happy Bell's in. But Bell has FTB written all over him. Up against a weak or badly misfiring attack Bell could well get amongst the runs.

For Australia, Watson is a surprise inclusion at Hughes' expense. I'm a big fan of Paper Cut's talent: he can bat and bowl, at least by reputation... but. If he breaks down it will be a disaster. If? When? (Maybe Freddie will break down, too.) Still, I don't mind the selectors taking the punt. Hopefully they won't make him open. Hussey should open and Watson should come in down the order.

Nor do I mind that Our Phil Hughes has been dropped. He has looked awful. It should not be forgotten that even though he was dudded by Cheat Strauss, it was the weak shot of a batsmen uncertain about where to put his feet - the way his back foot edged to leg was ugly.

I would have preferred the change to be Boiled Owl McDonald for North or Hauritz. He brings something to the line-up. Don't ask me what that something is, but he's played four Tests for three wins and in each win he's done a very tidy job. Monty thinks I'm nuts, but Boiled is one of "those" cricketers.

Should Johnson play? Well, he's bowled absolute rubbish so far, but he still gets wickets. SGW, sure, but they are still marked "bowled Johnson" in the scorebook. The longer he bowled at Lords, the tighter he seemed to get, so maybe he's finally getting it together. He is if you believe Nielsen, Clarke and Haddin; not that they are about to tell the media Studsy is dudsy. He is not if you read the scorebook at Northants.

Clark should have played before now; certainly at Lords, where he was the best suited Aussie bowler, but who do you drop?

Doubtless the selectors are banking on Johnson's wicket-taking ability. An attack of Siddle, Watson, Clark, Hauritz and Hilfenhaus doesn't look too incisive, but the England batting line-up is not very good, and without KP to collar the bowling, that attack could be quite effective. Also, Siddle, Hilfenhaus and Clarke would gain by not having to worry about Johnson wrecking the ball.

Anyhoo, the "dramatic draw" in Fvcken Cardiff and our rat-shit batting at Lords has given England the upper hand. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: fingers crossed Australia can get their act together for the last three Tests because I would dearly love to wipe the smiles off the dials of all those happy, front-running Poms.

Update!

On the radio just now (5:35pm) Jim MAXwell didn't know about this Watson business. He thinks the team will be unchanged, and that they are going to back Hughes to find form.

Now where was I? That's right. Our Phil deserves to keep his spot. Despite his unorthodox technique, he's due.

Tweet!

Nope, Hughes is out:

Phillip Hughes has confirmed his axing from the Australian XI for Edgbaston via a positing on the Twitter website.

"Disappointed not to be on the field with the lads today," Hughes posted on Twitter. "Will be supporting the guys, it's a BIG test match 4 us. Thanks 4 all the support!"

Hack. LOLZ

There's more!

Hoggy hasn't heard anything about Hughes being out. Hasn't heard of Twitter, either, judging by his puzzled look. Then I thought he was going to say "You're pulling my leg, right?" Instead he said "I can't believe they would replace Hughes with Watson."

Twaat!

Hughes definitely out:

Anger as opener discloses axing

(The newspaper's headline)

SACKED Australian opener Phillip Hughes was in hot water last night after breaking team rules by announcing his Test axing on social networking site Twitter.

Anger? Dean Jones, Victorian rent-a-quote, is quoted:

"He needs a good foot up the backside from it."

Heads and Tails

The subby at the Hun wants a bet each way; he can't believe Ponting won the toss:

Comments

[Vindicate]

I still can't fathom what Clark must have done to warrant omission, it's one thing to hope your strike bowler comes good and give him a trot in a tour match to find out - but Studsy hasn't improved and should have been dropped for Clark, who is no McGrath but the closest thing we have to the great man.

[The Old Batsman]

I liked Jason Gillespie on the radio here who said, 'I never had a clue about pitches mate. I've got no idea what it's going to do'. The consensus [for what's it's worth] was that if it's going to do anything, it'll do it for the first 50 overs. It'd be an act of supreme balls if ponting won and bowled tho'.

[Bopora's Ballbag]

will be a draw,no way are we going to get a full days play on any of the 5 days

[sid smith]

Friday and Sunday look okay.

http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/uk/wm/birmingham_forecast_weather.html

But you're prolly right about the draw.

[Tony]

Boycott & Hayden are having an entertaining joust on TMS. There is even a sense that it might go past joust to stoush.

Note:

1. Spar.

2. Joust.

3. Stoush.

4. Punch up.

[Adsy]

Merv actually had a good observation on the telly before (I think) - when evaluating conditions, "look up and not down". That is, ergo, therefore, don't worry about the pitch and worry about the weather/atmospheric conditions.

I'm sure it made sense. Seemed like it did at the time.

[Tony]

What's going on? Vindi and me are outnumbered by Englishers.

Must be a rain break thing.

Ballbag, Manchester's in England, right? I heard they speak English there.

[Tony]

Reinforcements!

Ads, I listened to Merv for a couple of minutes.

Then I turned back to the radio.

[m0nty]

Koertzen sounding very disapproving of any play today.

[Tony]

He gave the day out.

Meanwhile.

They are showing highlights of Cardiff. Why aren't they showing highlights of Australia vs. West Indies from the SCG when Bevan hit the winner off the last ball?

[Tony]

In one season Before the Bounce has gone from a fine footy show to unwatchable tripe.

[m0nty]

Struggling to find a common thread between #10 and #11, Tone.

[Tony]

Flicked over to AFL Teams and lobbed on a dreadful ad for BTB in which Dud Frawley pretended to be French.

[m0nty]

Ah yes. Spud by name, spud by nature.

BtB has always been low rent though, let's be honest.

[m0nty]

Apparently drainage at English grounds is pretty pish-poor.

[Tony]

Speaking of "piss" poor, my Cricinfo limerick:

There once was a man named Flintoff
Who fancied a pint of Smirnoff
His gait, quite unsteady
"It's my knee," cried Our Freddie
Then he spewed and continued to quaff

[Ophuph Hucksake]

Not quite a limerick, but I lobbed this at a gloating Pom co-worker after the second Test:

"My name is Freddie Flintoff,
I bowl and then I bat,
And then I stack my pedalo
Just like a drunken prat."

Boy, Watson is actually going to open? What on earth did "Buck" Rogers do/say in the dressing room during his debut to have him permanantly declared persona non grata?

[m0nty]

Play due in 70 minutes apparently.

[Russ]

Ricky opens up with a non sequiter: "best way for us to win is to bat first... bit of time lost in this game".

Just enough time for things to go horribly wrong this evening.

[m0nty]

Toss Ponting calls heads, and it's a heads and, unsurprisingly, he's batting. "The best way for us to win is to bat first," he says. Watson in and will open the batting in place of Hughes. "Phil found things a little tough...Shane got some useful overs under his belt [in the warm-up game]." No Stuart Clark. Again...

About fvcken time Punter.

[m0nty]

Although if our luck is holding, it will hoop about in the humidity like flubber.

[m0nty]

AB on Fox reckons we can peel off 0-100. Then again, last time I turned on Fox they were talking up us knocking up 550 in the fourth innings. Mozzing bastards.

[m0nty]

Paper Cut looking energetic. I have a bad, bad, bad feeling about this.

[m0nty]

Ah crap, Haddin broke a finger in the warm up. Manou in.

[Russ]

Jesus, we are in the midst of a nickname crisis. Klutz out with a broken finger following the toss! Manou in.

[m0nty]

I have Haddin as the new captain of my Ashes Dream Team.

[m0nty]

Freddie and Anderson bowling too short. Good sign, even though they are getting swing.

[m0nty]

What's Manou's nickname? Verboard?

[m0nty]

That was a better over from Anderson.

[m0nty]

Kat a tad lucky on that elbee shout. Lucky that he had Dar up his end, so to speak.

[Soups]

63 after the 15 overs of fielding restrictions are complete...

[m0nty]

Jim is now blowing sunshine up Paper Cut's orifices, but it must be said that Paper's showing a lot less patience than really befits a long-term opening batsman. He is showing a straight bat to a good many deliveries but plays too many false shots to mark him as a true Test match opener on this form. If he can survive his way to a score it won't be due to 100% good technique.

[m0nty]

They are certainly peeling off the runs against Onions and showing a wide bat to Broad.

[Russ]

Paper's batting has been a little reckless, but at least he has shown the straight bat more often than not.

Krab gone. Seemed an ambitious shot, and a tad disrespectful to Swann. The regularity with which our batsmen gift their wickets to numpty spinners is remarkable.

[m0nty]

Australians regularly disrespect cod ordinary off spinners and they regularly make us pay. Poor shot to a shyte ball.

[Soups]

Where is Krab's patience? The first over of off-spin! C'mon Punter.

[Soups]

Paper has passed his 2nd highest Test score of 41 and is well onto beating his highest 78...

[m0nty]

Punter looking veeeeeery scratchy.

[Russ]

50 to PC. Short subdued celebration, followed by a sound defensive shot. Good to see.

[m0nty]

Five English bowlers, all chucking pies. Hard to credit how ropey they all look compared to the first innings at Lord's.

[m0nty]

The most threatening part of the game for the Australian batsmen seems to be misjudging the bounce on the odd occasion, as Kat did for his wicket and Punter almost has done as well. Playing down the V would be optimal, I think.

[m0nty]

1/126 at the close. That's about as good a result as could have been hoped for. England looks like the rabble they were in Cardiff. The Aussies are playing fast and loose but getting away with it for the most part. Paper Cut thinks he's Haydos II but he's not that good - but the Poms are making him look decent. Punter survived some dodgy footwork which is promising. No rain tomorrow so I hope it's sunny with no swing and a lot of pain to come for the arrogant limey bastards.

[Tony]

When I went to bed I wasn't expecting to wake up and find Australia 1/126.

Wasn't expecting Ponting to win the toss.

Wasn't expecting Haddin to break his finger. What did he do: drop it? Boom! Ti... sigh.

[Tony]

Manou = Guano.

[Tony]

Or, Guanos. Like Haydos.

[Tony]

By the way, Monty, Russ & Soups, superb work by you three. "You're a better mans than I am, Gunga Dins."

[Tony]

Haddin broke his finger after the toss?!?

Big stuff from Cheat Andrew Strauss to allow a change to the team-sheet.

Now that Haddin is injured again (Anyone remember Luke Ronchi?) and the reserve wicky is playing, there is space in the squad for a reserve batsman.

Or another all-rounder. Shane Lee?

[Tony]

Good news!

Murali is retiring in 2010. Just in time to be drafted by the Gold Coast Gazzas.

Bad news!

The ICC won't be confiscating his statistics under the Proceeds of Crime act.

[Bruce]

Well bugger me. Well done Papercut.

M0nty I think you might be overstating the openers classification. Facing up to the new ball will produce plenty of play and misses and false shots, it's the ability to put them behind you and put the next one away for four if it's there to be hit that makes for a good opener.

Mannou's selection means we are effectively well over 150 now as there are 30 byes that won't be pissed away in the Poms' innings.

[The Don has risen]

Tony have a cold shower.

The Umpire at the bowler's end asked the umpire at Square leg whether a fair catch had been taken.

The answer was yes.

Camerawork did not show this to be wrong.

This looks a very dead track

[Tony]

Don.

I agree.

The pitch is dead.

[RT]

Great to see Manou in, really hope he makes some runs. Looks like the finger will keep the Byemachine out for Headingly as well. May as well forget him for the rest of the tour and draft someone else in.

Feel sorry for Stu.

If Stud gets carted again then however successful Hilf has been and Bruised Toenail may be, the selectors should immediately resign en masse.

[Adsy]

Papercut apparently the first right handed bat since Slogger Slatts.

From watching the highlights on Fox Sports, he tried to bat like him too.

[Adsy]

Speaking on Manou's moniker; the ground announcer apparently introduced him as "Garry" instead of Graham.

By extension, no gnews is good gnews

[m0nty]

Other possible Manou nicknames:

Nthemoon
A-mano
Knighted (if he plays well)
The Saint (i.e. Manou from heaven, but only if he plays REALLY well)

[via collins]

Crikey there's a lot of blather going on about Our Boy Hughes being dropped.

Surely it's a rite of passage for OZ openers? 10 or so game of blinding genius, 7 or 8 failures, off to Coventry for a while, and back for a stellar career. Haydos, Graeme Wood, Slater - okay, get dropped several times in the latter's case.

Tone, Boycott versus Haydos sensational on the wah-less. What a gem Haydos is - hope he doesn't get sucked into Channel 9 hell any time soon.

[Tony]

I thought that meant they were arguing about Hughes at Crikey.

Hughes will be alright... if he has the stuff. If he hasn't, he hasn't.

Thought both Haydos and Boycs gave as good as they got. But I was most surprised by Dos, who was both feisty and interesing to listen to, despite the odd slippage into "the greatness of Test cricket" type slop. If he gets a gig in Aus, here's hoping it's on ABC, not LCD Nine.

[Tony]

Hoping also we get away to a good start tonight.

The Poms have had a chance to think about last night's pies, while Ponting and Watto will be trying to re-establish their innings. And a 10:30 start combined with the chance of juicy atmospherics could well provide early problem.

Heads down, lads, steady as she goes.

[Tony]

Nope. Starting at 11:00.

[Tony]

Well, fvck.

Watto out first ball of the day.

[Tony]

So much for "Watson the key at dry Edgbaston".

Ominously, there is a film on Fox Showtime called Doomsday.

[Adsy]

Oh. My. Fvcking. God.

[Tony]

Did I say "ominously"?

Hussey out first ball.

Onions on a hatrick.

Fvck. Fvck. Fvcketty. Fvck.

[Tony]

Onions peels off a peach of a first over.

And now the bastard crowd are in full soccer taunt mode.

Stupid Watto. Stupid, stupid Hussey.

[Big Ramifications]

Other possible Manou nicknames:

Nthemoon
A-mano
Knighted (if he plays well)
The Saint (i.e. Manou from heaven, but only if he plays REALLY well)

Manou = Rene Arnoux

Accept no substitutes.

[Tony]

A substitute.

Manou = Adolphe Menjou.

[Bruce]

Didn't Shameless get rolled without offering the last test?

FFS!

[Tony]

Yep.

Off Freddie at Lords.

Both dismissals point to errors of judgment based on confidence issues.

"To lose one off-stump may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like rubbish."

~~ Oscar Madison, sportswriter

[Bruce]

Well played sir.

[Samir Chopra]

I reckon the selectors meant to drop Hussey. Poor Phil saw the sheet with a name that started with H, went on with a U, included an E, and pulled the trigger on himself. After that hasty Twitter, he had to be dropped.

[Tony]

The way Hussey is getting out, Samir, you could make a case that he's trying to drop himself.

[Tony]

Ponting out.

Playing a rubbish hook to a high bouncer.

What an awful shot!

[Tony]

He left the bouncer the ball before. What's wrong with repeating the leave?

What's more: it was so high, he could barely reach it.

Idiot.

[Samir Chopra]

Yeah, the leaves indicate (to a Freudian) a reluctance to engage with the game, a symbolic withdrawal from the conflict. Perhaps Huss would like to just, as The Humungus said, "walk away".

[Tony]

Onions? Richard Ellison, more like. Shit. A. Brick.

[Tony]

We're going to need the rain to save us.

[Samir Chopra]

Woah. Even as I typed in that last comment, a batsman whose hooking and pulling I much admire has gone ahead and shat all over himself with a crap hook shot. Not a nice way for the captain to go.

[Tony]

What was that? "the chance of juicy atmospherics could well provide early problem"?

Yes, you are right. That should read problems, plural!

[Tony]

Tally time!

Katich -> crap shot.

Hussey -> crap non-shot.

Ponting -> crap shot.

Shit.

[Tony]

Fark!

Big inny to Clarke from Richard Ellison.

Big shout for LB.

Lucky for Clarke.

[Tony]

Hooray!!!!

Mikey has finally said something worthwhile.

"I can't stand it when people say the West Indians can't play swing bowling. No one likes good swing bowling."

Precisely.

By the way: the ball is swinging. Hooping and looping, actually.

[m0nty]

Come on the sun.

[Tony]

Yes. Sun. How come we keep having to bat in swervy conditions?

[Tony]

Bet everyone is thinking what I'm thinking.

No, not North vs. Carlton is a lucklustre affair, even if it is.

When England bat, the pitch will lose this morning's edge, the air will clear, and the only ball movement will be off the bat to the ropes.

[Tony]

Dropped!

Freddie dropped Clarke off Richard Ellison off an absolute sitter.

[Samir Chopra]

Now Clarke gone - to the naked eye that looked a little down leg-side.

[Tony]

Clarke out.

LB off Jimmy.

That's missing leg.

Less out than the one Aleem Dar didn't give off Onions.

Rudi hates Australia.

[m0nty]

Even to the naked Hawkeye.

[Tony]

The only way Rudi can have given that out is if he wanted to give it out.

Get Billy Doc back. He wouldn't have given that out for a lifetime's supply of rum, Red Stripe and... ummm, breadfruit?

[Tony]

North out.

Caught behind by Prior off Jimmy.

Lucky snag by Prior. Lucky it stuck.

Another rubbish shot!

[Tony]

Just enough time for us to be all out by lunch.

[Tony]

Studs out first ball.

LB leaving it.

Clearly too high.

Typical Rudi going with the crowd.

Note: We are still a fiasco.

[Tony]

Big shout for LB by Broad to Adolphe Menjou.

Clearly not out. Clearly we are lucky Rudi wasn't the umpire.

[Tony]

Manou bowled by Anderson.

Lunch.

Worst Aussie session since, well, Lords.

Ball moving around all over the shop.

Expect Nasser Hussain and Graham Thorpe to come out and knock up a casual 300 or so.

[Tony]

Anderson 4/14 off 13 balls.

Yer fvcken kidding, aren't ya?

[murph]

Fucking joke.

[Tony]

Idea! Australia should declare and get England in while the ball is still swinging.

[Tony]

Warning! The CricInfo chat box is a nightmare of gloat.

[Vindicate]

Knew this was going to happen as soon as BJ and the boys started crapping on about Aus being 1-121 and having the advantage, quality mozz boys - well done. On the upside the poms have to bat in this too, unless we have a "handy" 11th wicket stand which will net us another 40 runs and leave the sun enough time to come out and stop the ball swinging.

[m0nty]

I noticed shadows appearing on Merv's face during the lunch twaddle. Typical weather luck.