WEASY STREET

Although sometimes cynical about the motives of the Aussie cricketers, and despite what Simon Barnes and Peter Roebuck think -

Weasel Word

If they seek precedent, they can always look to the Australia cricket team, the weasels of international sport: one hint of a murmur of a rumour of a firework going off in any city on the sub-continent and the Australian plane is making a mad U-turn and heading back to God's Own.

Danger of Pakistan tour exaggerated

Even in the worst places in Pakistan, it is riskier to drive a car than to be an Australian.

- I'd rather be here than in Pakistan.

Comments

[RT]

Simon Barnes, Chief Sports Writer, March 3, 2009

"The wonder of it is that it has taken so long."

Have your say

I have read some strange things but this takes the cake. When a cricket team has been attacked, a nation saddened and 6 people dead, Simon Barnes takes a shot at the Australian Cricket Team. Famous for pulling out? Yes Simon, famous for, whats that expression? Common sense.

Bill, Sydney,

Well said Bill.

[IanG]

Barnes and Roebuck should be ashamed of themselves. Do they think before writing this tripe? Barnes OK he's in pommyland where taking potshots at Australia is de rigeur but for Roebuck to use this tragedy as an excuse to write that sort of tripe in an Australian newspaper is mindboggling. Pity The Age doesn't have a comments section.

[Tony Tea]

Ian, I share the thrust of your criticism, but just by way of clarification: Barnes and Roebuck wrote the nonsense I linked to last year in response to a previous cancelled tour, and not in response to yesterday's events.

I don't think Spanky has an article in today's Age, and I haven't yet read the Times, but it will be interesting to read their take on yesterday's events.

[Tony Tea]

This is what Barnes wrote today (courtesy of RT's comment):

The wonder of it is that it has taken so long.

The Australian cricket team has become notorious for pulling out of tours anytime anyone lights a match within 500 miles of a cricket ground.

Dick head.

[IanG]

I retract my comments about Roebuck but yeah the comments still apply to Simon Barnes.

[SaggyGreen]

I think the broader point is that were the same standards applied to all nations in the way they are to Pakistan, the only places test cricket would be played is New Zealand, Australia and Barbados.

[Adsy]

I doubt that anywhere is really immune from attack in all reality; didn't the convicted terrorists plan to blow up an AFL Grand Final?

A modern precedent has unfortunately been set, and things will change for the worse in international sport forever.

[Big Ramifications]

If you look at the stats.

International cricketers who have toured hot spots™ since Australians became "weasels" versus international cricketers who have BEEN SHOT AT WITH AK47s AND RP FUCKING Gs. Throw in the near miss [bombing] of the NZ cricket team from a few years back.

I don't like dem odds.

Right from the very first weaselling, I couldn't understand the angry backlash against the Aussies.

nb: I am what economists call "risk averse."

I see your point SaggyGreen. You would define the UK as a hot spot™?

[Big Ramifications]

Was the first weaselling™©® a tour to Sri Lanka when the Tigers were in one of their particularly antsy stages?

[Tony Tea]

Australia (and the Windies) refused to play in Sri Lanka during the 1996 World Cup after a bomb went off outside a Colombo hotel. Here link.

[SaggyGreen]

Yes I would Biggie. Prior to yesterday, I believe the risk for cricketers specifically was only marginally different between Bombay, Colombo and London.

[Tony Tea]

How long before someone says that if everyone had toured Pakistan, there would have been no terrorist attack?

[Big Ramifications]

Remember when this came up during a recent trial in the UK?

According to the Times' source, Tanweer and Mohammad Sidique Khan were to obtain jobs as stewards at one of the Ashes' sites, where they would spray sarin gas in the English and Australian teams' changing rooms. As it turned out, the 7/7 bombings were actually Plan B...

Plan B? Struth! First link I grabbed:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gustafson/070406

[Big Ramifications]

Trevor Bayliss’ interview on Nine’s Today show this morning made me PROUD to be AUSTRALIAN.

Talk about laconic. "We got 'ome. A few of the boys had operations..." It almost sounded like a Billy Birmingham performance.

Trevor Bayliss for GG!

[Big Ramifications]

With all the bullets as I said coming through the bus, he jumped back in his seat with the bullets still coming through the front windscreen and side windows and just floored it the last couple hundred meters into the stadium. We met him again just before we left him. All the boys were very thankful really.

http://www.etaiwannews.com/etn/news_content.php?id=883559&lang=eng_news

Not the same interview, but he "sounds" the same. Do it in a Billy-Birmingham-pretending-to-be-Max-Walker cadence.

[Samir Chopra]

A couple of links for your reading pleasure:

Yours truly over at Cricinfo

Mukul Kesavan on the lessons of Lahore.

Yours truly with a small follow-up

Cheers,
Samir

[The Don has risen]

Let us be very clear about the hypocrisy of the Aussies.

More people died in terror related incidents where our friend Mr Symonds plays the 20/20 rubbish than have died in Pakistan.

He can't tour Pakistan but can play in India.

[Big Ramifications]

"More people died in terror related incidents where our friend Mr Symonds plays the 20/20 rubbish than have died in Pakistan."

What time frame we talkin' here, sizzlechest? Are you including domestic [say, Hindu vs. Sikh out in the middle of Woop Woop] terrorism that would be unlikely to include international cricketers?

"Mr Symonds" = "the Aussies" now? When is he next planning on going to India to play 20 20? I've got no idea of the IPL schedule.

[Big Ramifications]

Yours truly over at Cricinfo

Agree with most of that column. Except: "The idea that these killers are cricket fans who in their spare time fire off a few AK-47s was always ludicrous."

Wasn't that the reason the terrorists didn't attack the Ashes tour in the UK [get jobs as stewards, let off some Sarin gas]? One of them was an avid cricket fan? It certainly is something I READ. Whether that was true or not...?
.
.
.
Mukul Kesavan on the lessons of Lahore

Bizarre, in an fatalistic way. Still a good read – loved the first para.graph. I was just a bit surprised at the "well, what did you expect?" tone.

[Tony T]

Good stuff, Samir.

I'm inclined to go easy on the likes of Imram Khan and Geoff Lawson. Imran certainly stikes me a a political fathead, but he has never been in a position to start saying Pakistan is a sh1t place to go to; while the same applied to Lawson when he was in Pakistan. His tenure as the national coach was short, but he would have achieved unheard of levels of "shortened tenure" had he come out and said "Tour Pakistan? You must be mad."

Pervez Hoodbhoy is a top name.

[Tony T]

I see that Sri Lanka agreed to tour Pakistan in return for Pakistan agreeing to tour Sri Lanka in similar terroristy circumstances a few years ago.

[Tony T]

Samir, Mumbai was an obvious example of Pakistani trouble spreading to India. But to what extent does this latest incident exacerbate Indian concerns that internal Pakistani troubles are likely to spill over into India?

[Samir Chopra]

BigR: I agree, those stewards might have have been true-blue cricket fans, or at least providing a reasonably good impression thereof (like some of the soccer louts that show up at the one-day games in England).

Kesavan's piece was excellent, I agree. I'm not surprised at the fatalistic tone. The more the hype and conversation built up around the business of cricket tours to Pakistan, and the more internal security arrangments became a bit of a joke there, the more likely it became that a PR coup like this one was in the offing. It really just seemed like a matter of time.

[Samir Chopra]

Tony: I think my ire at Imran (and lots of other folks as that follow-up piece reveals) was sparked by the complete and utter hijacking of the conversation. It seemed like no one could express worries about touring Pakistan without being accused of being a racist hypocrite. No one could point out *any* difference between India and Pakistan in the context of touring other than folks saying the same. When one party is accusing the other of cardinal sins in a discussion, that really just goes nowhere.

Hoodbhoy is very good value; Ahmed Rashid is worth tracking as well. You get a good idea of the fraying of the internal fabric of the Pakistani polity through them.

And Tony, about your second question, the worry about Pakistani troubles spreading to India has always been present - never really gone away. As Pakistan becomes increasingly unhinged, there is no doubt spillover worries will increase. What this latest incident certainly does is demonstrate the tremendous PR gains for the bearded Kalashnikovers if they attack a game of cricket. The expected utility calculations are around staging games of international cricket are going to require some serious rejiggering now.

[Big Ramifications]

It seemed like no one could express worries about touring Pakistan without being accused of being a racist hypocrite.

*PAGING PETER ROEBUCK... PAGING PETER ROEBUCK*

Apologies if I’ve told this one before... On the ABC radio during a test, one of the commentators bought up the subject of "match fixing." Almost before the third syllable came out of his mouth Peter Roebuck was, and I paraphrase, "Waaaaaah! Racist! Waaaaaah! Australians! Waaaaaah!”

And you know, he might have had a point if he'd, like, let the other fella actually say what he was about to say. He didn't even get to mention people or countries.

The other fella was a gent and didn't even bother continuing. Fuck I can't stand Peter Roebuck.

[The Don has risen]

No Fellahs,

Terrorism is quite strong in India.

As said previously look up how many people died in terror related incidents in the city Mr Symonds is playing for.

[Big Ramifications]

Come to think of it, it was more like “Waaaaah! Australians! Australians! Australians! Waaaaaah!” The man has serious issues.

OK Samir, here’s the rub: Pop pop pop pop pop pop. Six policemen dead, all of whom you would assume were armed. Then for the next TWENTY MINUTES, they attacked two busloads full of cowering, unarmed cricketers and their entourage and managed to kill exactly zero of them. Shit, they even let the bus drive off.

See where I’m getting at?

They decided not to kill anyone associated with the touring party. They still achieve all the goals you outlined in your article, and, except for the clevarrest man in the werld [that would be me], they also have everyone thinking the Sri Lankans et al are only alive thanks to a miracle and a brave bus driver.

They still make their point and scare the shit out of all sportsmen and potential visitors without a massive international backlash and international calls for heads on stakes.

When you quote me in your next article, Samir, make it Harvard referencing style. Cheers! :)

[Big Ramifications]

Thankyou for answering zero of my questions, Mr Don. Are you by any chance the same whiney, evasive clown I had a discussion with regarding webbing size on WK's gloves?

Reminds me of a discussion I had with a Peter Roebuck type.

[Roebuck Clone] Statistics show that terrorism has increased since 9/11 and the war on terror!
[Me] Fantastic stuff, sizzlechest. Do those stats include terrorism that has nothing to do with the war on terror? Like Tamil Tigers or maybe FARC or a brazillion other domestic conflicts?
[Roebuck Clone] Erm.
[Me] Do those stats include terrorism that has nothing to do with the war on terror?
[Roebuck Clone] Erm. Statistics show that terrorism has increased since 9/11 and the war on terror!

Your reasoning goes all the way to 11, doesn't it, Mr Don?!

[Samir Chopra]

BigR: Interesting theory. I hadn't realized it was a twenty minutes shootout. BTW, you forgot that none of the grenades they threw went off!

There is something very interesting about melting away so easily in broad daylight, close to a busy intersection in Pakistan's busiest city. At the very least, they had very good logistical local support.

I'll make sure I cite you in propah MLA style.

[Big Ramifications]

The main story I read said a 25 minute shootout. So I thought 20 minutes was a fair estimate of time taking pot-shots at the team bus. Something reeks. It just doesn't add up.

This one too, from http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article5850290.ece

"You tell me why supposedly 20 armed commandos were in our convoy and when the team bus got going again, we were left on our own?" Simon Taufel, the umpire, angrily told reporters as he arrived at Sydney airport. "I don't have any answers to these questions ... We were left on our own in our time of need."

But Pakistani official Ejiz Butt [from memory] said that is a complete load of bollocks. I see the F.U.D. is already in full swing and I fear for the truth.

I mean, did that actually happen or not?! A part time punter like me just won't be able to follow the story.