ZIG ZAG WANDERER

In the last 11 months Peter Roebuck has been more than usually all over the place. In the last three days Patrick Smith has been all over him like a Taunton lawsuit.

Game is not the same

Fairfax columnist Peter Roebuck was of the same mind though we need to wait a day or two to see if Roebuck holds firm to this view. One day he is bowling over the wicket and the next moment around it. He is a hard man to set a field to.

Misdirected outrage

The rules on over rates are not complicated but they cannot be applied on a whim. Yet they appear to drive the cricket world silly and Peter Roebuck seemed certain to throw himself from the ABC commentary box just before lunch on the final day. India was plodding through at around 10 overs an hour, prompting Roebuck to suggest everybody pack up and go home or that the Indians be forced to bowl 30 overs before they could break for lunch.

He calmed down eventually and told listeners he would seek a few "serene" minutes. Just as well, for the ABC might have considered sending over Kerry O'Keeffe for the final session. This was no giggling matter.

Overblown case of bile

Peter Roebuck, an observer who absolutely never says the first thing that comes into his noggin, saw the light much earlier than the rest of us. He had him sacked last January when Ponting's boys beat India 2-1 in Australia. This nation's stand against the death penalty is the only thing that denied Roebuck back then.

After the Sydney Test, he wrote: "If Cricket Australia cares a fig for the tattered reputation of our national team in our national sport, it will not for a moment longer tolerate the sort of arrogant and abrasive conduct seen from the captain and his senior players over the past few days." So he is not a man prone to knee-jerk reactions.

The heading is for you, Mark.

Comments

[Soulberry]

Good reads those. But if you had to put up with Roebuck that side one was stuck with Nicholas inserted between cricket and self.

[Carrot]

I'm assuming that in order to compile those you actually had to read them. One Spanky article is usually enough to make me claw my own eyes out - I'm not sure WHAT I'd do if I had to read that many all at once.

I think the presence of Roebuck and Nicholas in the Australian media says something about our national psyche. They're utter, utter WANKERS, FRAUDS and SMUG, PATRONISING ARSEHOLES (breathe! Keep calm!) but because they have these cut-glass accents they can get away with almost anything and we lap it up. If we thought the days were gone where to get anyone to listen to you you had to be British, think again - here they are, neither of them international players and one a border-line paedophile, commenting on one of the most culturally signficant parts of Australian life there is. We're being freakin' invaded!

I mean, fuck's sake - most of this shit isn't even well written. The flowery prose. The classical allusions. The self-congratutory similes and condescending tone.

GOD I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!

[Nick]

Perhaps Spanky will have a go at Singh over his latest commments. 'Can't play and can't captain' is a fair bit stronger than 'obnoxious little weed', although both statements are getting truer by the day.

[Tony T]

Spanky knows cricket. Much of his commentary is insightful and perceptive.

But every now and again he loses the plot and his over-reactions are quite startling. Does he do it for effect? Dunno. Does he get a reaction? Yes. Does he undermine his own credibility? Absolutely.

[Boo]

>> The flowery prose. The classical allusions. The self-congratutory similes and condescending tone.

The only one who can hold a candle to Spanky is Purple-Prose Pat.

[Bruce]

Jaysus!

Did you see India's score against the poms? Yuvy Schwing has gone mental

[Tony T.]

India 387 mashed England 229.

Expect Ian Botham to now say England will get flogged in the Ashes.

[Carrot]

Hmmm - ok, I will submit that his commentary is actually quite good. It's been awhile since I heard him, mind you, which is why I had forgotten. For the past six and a bit years I've only known him from his writing, and that (see above) I can't stand.

[Tony T]

Carrot, you would have enjoyed* Nicholas selling the T20 on telly last night.

**

* Poured your dinner over your own head.

** Boo has a point about Pat.

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