THE CANTONATOR

Monkey acts and spitting were not enough. After being taunted by yobbos, Rollerboy should have kicked a member of the crowd.

Discuss.

Comments

[CB]

The man is a dickhead. Spanky, your thoughts?

[Boo]

You're enjoying all this sniping, aren't you Tony? Fess up, Puck. :)

[Tony T]

CB: Believe it or not, Spanky had a big lash at Rollerboy:

Then news filtered through that the Indian had lowered himself. If Harbhajan did indeed imitate a monkey then he should be driven from the game for the rest of the year. Probably for five years. India ought to take the lead in disciplining him. Sport is not war. Its passions ought to be passing. Respect must be mutual.

Mind you, I don't expect Harby to get pinged. He will say he was scratching himself and that he was spitting on the ground.

Boo: Yes, yes I am.

[Boo]

Hilarious.

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/comments/0,22058,23307873-5001023,00.html

== quote ==
Good golly. How about Punter. Every time you see him he's spitting into his hands. Next thing there's a wicket and he's high fiving and rubbing his hands into the hair of the bowler/catcher. I'll bet the team loves that.....
Posted by: David McLean 10:44am today
Comment 14 of 35

[Russ]

He is still a twat though, Spanky. Here is Orwell on sport. One might notice some slight variations from the interpretation given in the opening paragraph just cited:

"I am always amazed when I hear people saying that sport creates goodwill between the nations, and that if only the common peoples of the world could meet one another at football or cricket they would have no inclination to meet on the battlefield. Even if one didn't know from concrete examples (the 1936 Olympic Games for instance) that international sporting contests lead to orgies of hatred, one could deduce it from general principles"

[via collins]

Had Rollerboy employed kicking on-field he would have made a magical segue into the footy season which seems to have overlapped just in time to double the 50/50 crowd on Friday night wot?

[Murph]

You can say what you like about Cantona - an odious, arrogant, pompous turd - but he wasn't a liar and a coward. RollerBoy is all that and more.

[Sangu]

I think Straya were hard done by in the 1st finals in many ways, least of which is the letting off of RB for making obvious Symondsy....er monkey gestures and spitting. Here's how:

1. Daryl Harper/Rudy Kutzen joined the bloody sooks - some brown mata hari at work here. While they rightfully decided not to refer Matty Haydeny's stumping by Blatant Cheater Kebab, they failed to see the clear-to-blind-men ball-nicking-the-pad in case of Mikey Clarkey and also didn't no-ball brown rookie Praveen Kumar for obviously aiming at Mikey Hussey's heady...sorry got carried away there...head (or is it Hussy? - calm down Big R, its a clothing line) This became bloody clear when they refused to give the little twerp from bombay LBW when Bretty lee (can't add a 'y' here) had him plumb in front of middle, on the shoulder. To add insult to injury Lee was no-balled!! These buggers must have been paid big time! Bring back Bucknor!

2. Pricky Poutingy was told just as came to the crease by the foul mouthed Roller turd that Strayan innocence, nay virginity on and off the field was just like a balloon - one Prick(y) and it was gone. So stunned was punter by this peurile attemped at The Art that he promptly proceeded to pull a ball onto his stumps which even Shahid Afridi (those cheats are up next unless a bomb explodes soon...)
would have left.

3. After Matty Haydeny was caught (was it clean? I thought the chi-chi man was wearing some skin colour gloves) Roller/Y Spring clearly provoked the Strayans and set the worst possible example in front of the young kids of Straya by Shadow Boxing - don't they know that we are on to them? - just because Matty KNOWS him to be an obnoxious weed and Andy Symondsy KNOWs him to be a monkey worshipping racist, doesn't mean he will ACT that way as well, without as much as a reprimand which Matty had to cop, and that too for only for speaking his mind (ask Jeffy Thompsony).

4. The sooks were upto their old tricks again - the Taller Weed faked injury so that a better fielder could be used as a substitute for much of Strayan innings. Ask Hussy how he was thrown off his running by the TW's absence (Calm down Big R. Its just a clothing line). See how he'll be back the next game having recovered miraculously (Good for Pricky tho', he wouldn't have to pull the jerk-off Praveen Kumar)

5. They didn't give Adamy Gilly the MOM!! Does anything suck more than that?? Didn't he score 83 off 50? or was it the last game? How the fuck does it matter?

Straya 2-1 yeah!

[CL's blog is back]

AB says he was there and it didn't happen.

The Judge did find in the appeal some people's evidence was highly suspect.

both were Australians!

how come people here hold such leftwing social views?

[Tony T]

Is that the same AB who is on the board of Cricket Australia?

[CL's blog is back]

the very same.

But Australians do not lie!!

[pat]

I was so offended by Harbhajan 'Ali G' Singh flagrantly exposing his hair I enlarged his picture and slagged a huge golly across my monitor.

As I was cleaning it up I couldn't help but ponder how Bhaji G is never wrong, and even when he is he's simply right.

"It's bad that the S.G.P.C. took up the issue in media. If they had any problem, they should have called me like a son and told me. But, their action was wrong,' he said.

Harbhajan said he had no idea that his photo-shoot in this fashion for an advertisement would become so big an issue.

'I respect the emotions of Sikhs and I never knew it will snowball into such a big issue.'

Bloody S.G.P.C., who do they think they are. They should show the BGee some respek!

[nick]

Would it be better if India won the second one dayer - ending the season and the CB series early...or beat them in three and send them home with nothing?

[nick]

I think Heals and Tubby will be sickened if Oz lose.

[nick]

Get Andrew G off!

[carneagles]

Every time I see Bracken's beady-eyed mugshot when he comes back into the attack, I'm reminded of a furious border collie.

[nick]

India are doing their bit for racial harmony by making the whole Australian team look like monkeys.

[pat]

"Would it be better if India won the second one dayer - ending the season and the CB series early...or beat them in three and send them home with nothing?"

Wondered that myself this morning and concluded I couldn't give a rats either way. It will be annoying if India win, but fantastic that it's the last we'll be seeing of them for a while. We all need the break.

OT: I wonder if some of these comments cited in Toohey's article are derived from AGB.

[nick]

Centrebet were offering $3.20 on India, so I decided to make like an IPL star and grab the money - barring an incredible spell from Hopes or a 20 ball century from Gilchrist, I think I'll be drowning my sorrows with some ill gotten gains.

[nick]

Did Paul Toohey get paid to write that? That's impressive. This has got to be Richie's last year - sounding less quick on the uptake every match.

[pat]

The precision of Hopes and Hussey's batting is amazing. Every shot goes unerringly directly to a fieldsman. It takes real class to achieve this feat time and time again. I'm transfixed by it.

[Tony T]

And then Shree gets a wicket with a nothing ball. Shit gets wickets.

[Sangu]

And the bastards are running over the wicket - what blatant cheating!

Straya 2-1 yeah!

[Sangu]

Adamy Gilly said the other day he felt like a goose for throwing it away. Is the goose being cooked today?

No way, moomy, no!! get these sooks off our Straya..frame them for terrorism or something..(afterall Pricky looks mighty terrorised right now)

Straya 2-1 yeah!

[Tony T]

That Toohey article.

Don't think any of those quotes come from here.

The only two I can find are from ALpha Magazine.

[Boo]

Nailbiter ...

[Sangu]

Tony

Seriously speaking for a change (now that Big R is MIA) 36 in 30 is eminently gettable, provided these guys hold their nerve - the only problem (which remains to be confirmed) is Strayan nerves are like will-o-the wisp these last few days.

Straya 2-1 yeah!

[Boo]

What a cracking over.

[Sangu]

I meant cat-o-nine-tails....or something

[Sangu]

Kumar takes out Lee, a la GoldyLocky when he took out Pathan. Hope...Hope...Hopes...

[Sangu]

Still 30 off 19 can be got..check out MG's average if u don't believe me.

[Boo]

Whoa. This Hopes guy's got some character!

[Tony T]

Yep. Smart bowling by India.

All CB for that matter.

[Sangu]

tumhari maa ka bhonsada maroon madarchod kutte ki auladob

Translation - knife and fork for tim tams's - chop sticks for cheese and gherkin.

[Edited by TT]

[Tony T]

All class, Sangers.

By the way. I changed your comment.

[d]

Sangu, your satire lacks any semblance of subtlety and your class shows out in the end.

[Boo]

Not fortunate to catch this on the telly. Can anyone tell me .. hope the celebrating Indians didn't do unto Hopes as was done unto Kumble.

[Tony T]

Good news.

The Indians were every bit as happy as the Aussies after the second Test, jumping up and down and hugging each other. Then eventually they broke off their high-jinks to shake Hopes' hand. Just like the Aussies did with Kumble in Sydney.

So, no problems.

[pat]

Well, that's that then. Whew, what a long summer.

Congratulations to India. They ambushed Oz in the finals and deserved to win. Funnily enough at the start of the tour their batting looked their strength and bowling their underbelly. At the end of the season it's almost the reverse.

That being said, I'd like 10 minutes alone with Hopes and a cricket bat. That is, me with the bat and Hopes strapped to a chair. I can guarantee I wouldn't miss a hit. GaaaaaHHHHHHHHH.

I hope Bhaji gets to let his hair down tonight, so long as he's alone at the time. Seriously, the fella can take some stick and even though he's without doubt the biggest sh*ithead I've ever seen your these shores you've gotta hand it to him. He takes it and gives it back in spades.

Bad luck Oz and well done India.

Go the Eels!!

[Sangu]

Oh Thanks guys for pointing out my class - did I ever pretend I had any? Real class has been shown by you Strayans by not even having the grace to offer one word of congratulations on series won the Strayan way - Hard but fair.

Most of all you Mr moderator, Tony Tits or whatever your name is - class is stamped all over your comment on the Indian celebration. Have they stopped selling mirrors in Straya or is it just that ALL of you are blind??

Cheers
Sangu

[Sangu]

OK Pat beat me to it, so I take back my first sentence.

As for 'd' - the satire was MEANT not to have any subtlety - or are you related to Big R?

[Sangu]

If you guys really loved your cricket - which I suspect you do - better start asking Pricky/Symondsy/Haydeny some questions and shut them up before they open their mouths (or wherever they speak from) and 'd', yeah, you are right, this one too has no subtlety/class/fill-in-the-blank

[Tony T]

Pat: Go the Storm!

[Sangu]

Where are you, guys - this sook is looking for some responses from someone????????

[Boo]

Sangu, your virginity balloon joke earlier was thigh-slappingly hilarious, but this is pathetic. Ease off with the gloating dude. Our parents taught us grace, remember?

[pat]

Bloody Storm let us down in the World Club Challenge. I thought we'd win it for sure this time.

And bloody Storm look to be the team to beat, yet again in the NRL.

So long as Parra players can stay away from shootouts or at least get some kevlar for those big nights out we may, just may, have a chance this year.

[pat]

Hey Boo, how come you and Sanga's parents know each other? Are you fellas related?

[pat]

Highlight of the match: The Sreesanth's high speed, high repetition sign of the cross. I've never seen it performed so fast. DoS and The Shree would be a great match up on World Youth Day.

[Sangu]

Boo

Glad you enjoyed the joke (stole it from Reader's Digest).

Yes I did forget grace. Thanks for reminding me. Now could you please go and tell the same thing to Pricky/Hayden/Symonds/Tony T/Big R?

The problem with moral high ground, mate, is that it slopes downward on eith side.

Had a great time on this blog.
Thank you all

Cheers
Sangu

[Sangu]

To know what the educated Indian (now there's a contradiction in terms Big R, innit it?) thinks of the Australian Team after this series, plese see:

http://www.prempanicker.com/index.php?/site/hayden_scratches_head_insults_harbhajan/

[nick]

Thank you India, for the gorilla you have delivered unto me. I almost feel like an IPL star. Now go away.

[CB]

Australia's batsmen choked TWICE and we still got within cooee of winning. Get over yourself, ya wanker. On to other subcontinent shenanigans, Paki coach Geoff Lawson has lost his lolly at the Australian's potentially vetoing the Pakistan tour.

"Australian players don't realise how important the game is to other countries. They carry on like pork chops about nothing, but don't realise the impact it has elsewhere. It's ridiculous. This decision is far bigger than just the fate of a few matches.

"It's not just a couple of Tests or TV revenue. It's the precedent it would set. It would give everybody an out from coming here because 'that's what Australia did'. It would be a massive blow to the general public, too. If Australia doesn't come, it could lead to Pakistan being ostracised from world cricket."

Well then Jiff, if people stopped spontaneously exploding in various parts of the place, we'd take your comments seriously. Remember old mate, it's just a game? An expensive one nowadays, but a frickin' GAME nonetheless.

[Professor Rosseforp]

The Indians deseserved to win. From the beginning of the tour they have out-Aussied the Aussies, in sledging, in not taking a backward step. Yes, Harbi is an irritation -- but no more so than Warnie was. Yes, he chucks, but so does Symonds. Ponting seemed to have been psychologically drained by the on and off field antics. Australia has been on the receiving end of the kind of tactics they normally dish out, and they were unable to take it. India played marginally better cricket.
Symonds' stunning shouldering of the speeding streaker (note alliteration) will lose him the few friends he still had.
An ugly, spiteful tour, in which the Indian team has lost lost one admirer (at least), and the Australians have lost my grudging respect. The officials never had any respect to lose but have sunk lower in the public estimation. The game is the biggest loser.
Thank Deity it's finished.

[CL's blog is back]

I would disagree only in one sapect of that.

They started to outsledge the Aussies in only the one day pyjama cricket.

We should not forget the BCCI in this. Firtly DRavid and then Kumble asked for three opening games before the teats.
THe BCCI said no and only agreed to one.

The Indians went into melbourne underdone and deservedly lost. They then lost in Sydney in the only game I have seen where one side got all the breaks in umpiring decisions easily won in Perthn and had the best of Adelaide.

They could have won the series for the first time in Australia!

mugs

in form tendulkar has superb footwork. I love pointing his footwork out to my boys.

[William]

Playing with Australian cricket team is like playing with a bunch of immature and naughty school kids who believe that winning is what counts, no matter how. Any cricket series played in Australian soil is always full of controversies. I hope that the recent defeat in the CB series will trigger these 30+ years old kids to re-think their approach towards the game.

[Yobbo]

That Kumar is an excellent bowler. Why do they stick with Sreesanth in either form of the game when they have guys like him and Sharma running around?

Sharma and Kumar should be India's first 2 pacemen selected. Both of them are better than all of Zaheer, Sreeshanth, RP Singh and Pathan.

At least Pathan can bat a bit.

[CL's blog is back]

Yobbo,

India have the potential to have a left/right opening bowlers. This is a great advantage over merely rightarmers.
Unless the wicket really takes spin they have bowlers to take advantage of the new ball and swing it, then bowling Sharma can do what he does with it and then whoever to bowl spin.

Of course with little spin you would change that round somewhat.

[Tony T]

The thing that impressed me about the Indian bowling is that the have so many different styles of bowler who can come in and keep the pressure on. And they almost had a dedicated bowler to target each opponent's soft spot.

RP
Harby
Kumble
Khan
Instant
Chawla (sp)
Kumar at No.11
Munaf Patel
Shrieky Sreesanth

A couple of retirements notwithstanding, they are set for the long haul.

[Big Ramifications]

One of those Fakirs was responsible for hitting that Zim fella on the noggin wot he blamed for having behavioural problems wot made him try and torch his local cricket pavilion. Pathan, I think.

[Vindicate]

"Symonds' stunning shouldering of the speeding streaker (note alliteration) will lose him the few friends he still had."

Hows that Prof?

Everyone I've spoken to about it reckoned it was a bloody top notch piece of work, I'll admit the odd streaker is amusing but anything they cop on their way across the field is well deserved IMHO.

That said, Symo needs to get himself to batting practice a bit more often - it looks like he's in dire need of it. That or go try out for the Broncos.