Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.



We strongly advise you to reconsider your need to travel to Pakistan at this time due to the very high threat of terrorist attack, sectarian violence and the unpredictable security situation. If you do decide to travel to Pakistan, you should exercise extreme caution. If you are in Pakistan and concerned for your safety, you should consider leaving if it is safe to do so.

It's a game Tone.

Tony T

FM: I don't doubt for a moment that Pakistan is a basket case.


Okay. But I'm with Roy on this one. And I don't much care if his motivation is purely monetary. The impetus for CA to go ahead with the tour is partly (mostly?) monetary as well.

What risk is acceptable for a sporting match? For me, if you wouldn't send your kids along to the match (assuming you can afford to send them halfway across the world), why should we expect the players to front up? And how many of the press have bailed out due to security concerns? That would be good to know.

Pedro the Ignorant

Any infidel going to Pakistan who doesn't have a battalion of security guards at their beck and call needs their head read.

The time is rapidly approaching where the "cricketing nations" will be totally irrelevant and whoever can cough the biggest pile of cash to recruit players will shortly thereafter be rolling in it.

Test cricket has maybe three years before it is relegated to "yesterday's heroes" status while the the 20/20 tripe and commercial teams make a joke of the game.

I don't care. I'm old and I will die soon. At least I won't have to watch the Australian captain dressed in a pink and purple skin tight lycra suit covered in ads for sub continental telephone networks and/or some greasy fast food shit while he swings and misses across a balll chucked by a 15 y.o. orange haired freak from some country that didn't exist five years ago, as a robot umpire flashes LED's in encouragement.

Grumpy ol' bastard? Fuck yes.

13th Man

Pedro: respect!


Act I, Scene II:

Interior, open plan sunroom/living/dining/5th bedroom come Study with open deck overlooking Brisvegas canal, twin merlins, 250hp, dual hull rocking gently at its moorings.

::A wailing is heard, getting louder, till overbearing, stage light strikes old woman, sweat tear stained brow clenched fists pounding her own forehead::

Roy's Mum: screaming They called you a monkey!!!

Roy: Maa Kii Mum, Maaaaaaaaa Ki!

Roy's Mum: So that's what it is now! Maa Kii, Monkey, what's the difference?!

Roy: 1.3 million mum!!

Roy's Mum: Oh blessed Rasta, if your father were here now, what would he say, he'd...

Roy: C'mon, it sounded like Monkey but he was only calling me a mother fucker...

Roy's Mum: A what!,,,, A what!,,, You say that to your mother now!?, so that's what is it now, you want that, what is it a mother...

Roy: Maaaa, Oh c'mon...

Roy's Mum: Fucker!!! Is that better. Oh my God. If your father were here...

Roy: Maaa, c'mon, it's just standard sledging.

Roy's Mum: Oh so that's supposed to make me feel better. Just common sledging. I've never heard such language, I don't know what's worse, monkey or mother...

Roy: Don't say it mum...

Roy's Mum: Too good for me is it?

Roy: Maaaaaaaaaaaa, awwww c'mon

Roy's Mum: You think money can buy a slur like that! You think that our heritage amounts to a bundle of rupees dumped at our door!???

Roy: Look mum, just read Peter Roebuck, he puts it all in perspective hands over SMH opened at sports page

Roy's Mum: ::Thrusting back SMH, throwing it at Roy when he fails to grasp it in time:: You want me to read this now!! You think an English pederast

can soothe 200 years of slavery and put it all in perspective!! Yes? yes? yes? So that's it now, monkey from Indians and condescension from a repressed

homosexual algolagniac Englishman and you think it's all right, so long as your pockets are lined??!!

::Roy's Mum, rambling now, drooling raving into the distance as lights fade and focus on Roy's soliloquy::

Bring me no more reports; let them fly all:
Till BCCI remove to ICC,
I cannot taint with fear. What's the boy Malcolm Speed?
Was he not born of woman? The spirits that know
All mortal consequences have pronounced me thus:
'Fear not, Roy; no man that's born of woman
Shall e'er have power upon thee.' Then fly,
false thanes,
And mingle with the English algolagniacs:
The mind I sway by and the heart I bear
Shall never sag with doubt nor shake with fear.

Enter a Servant
The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!
Where got'st thou that goose look?

Roy: It's just zinc. ZINC CREAM!!!

exeunt stage left....


Lalit Modi: Who put this thing together? Me, that's who! Who do I trust? Me!

Roy: Nothing exceeds like excess. You should know that, Lal.

[ICC Executive enters]

ICC Exec: Um....Mr Modi....

Modi: You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Mumbai. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.

[Modi pulls out a gun]

ICC Exec: Mr Modi, don't kill me, please!

Modi: I ain't gonna kill you.

ICC Exec: Oh Christ, thank you! Thank you!

[Modi looks at Roy]

Modi: Monkey, shoot that piece of shit!

[Roy shoots the Exec in the head and exits, shrugging with indifference and gets ready to apologise to Oliver Stone]


Doesn't seem right that algolagnia doesn't have a corresponding adjective. Masochism is to masochistic as algolagnia should be to algolagniacal?

Pedro, you're not grumpy, just the signs of creeping senility.

The Sporting Spirit

You guys crack me up hehhee....great stuff!!! Aussies are taking the trip to PK ...which is good for cricket...

The comments to this entry are closed.