You may have noticed Hawk Eye was telling whoppers again. May? How frightfully civil of me. What I meant to write was "Hawk Eye is a stinking fiasco".
Darren Powell was given out LBW to McGrath but was clearly not out, with the ball clearly sliding low down the leg-side. Even Tony Grieg called it and was surprised by the decision. McGrath stiffled his appealed. Yet stupid Hawk showed the ball comfortably hitting leg-stump half way up.
It wouldn't be so bad if the Nine plonkers treated Hawk with due contempt, but the duplicitous dogs defer to it as final arbiter thus imbuing the fucker with an undeserved degree of accuracy. (This has to be a specific production directive. Contrary to appearances, the commentators aren't complete fools.) At least Heals and Mikey, who replaced Tone and Tubbs, shit-canned the decision, implicitly criticising Hawk.
Cricinfo's live commentary was also a load of arse:
McGrath to Powell, OUT: full length delivery on the middle and leg stump, Powell tries to work it away onside, gets hit on the pads right in front of the stumps.
PS: Can't remember which umpire fired Powell, but it was a shocker so let's just assume it was Bowden. Usual suspects, and all that.
It was Bowden. Loves a leg before, that man. And I think it was Mikey who called it afterwards as a lower-order dismissal - ie a top-order batsman would never cop that stinker.
Posted by: Peter | Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 02:11 PM
A genius like his comes along only once in a lifetime and it's an honour when you actually get to see someone with a special talent in action. Brian Lara ? George Best ? Don't be silly- step forward Billy Bowden.
Is it me or is Dwayne Bravo nothing more than an honest dobber ? And where is Nathan Bracken ?
Posted by: Brett Pee | Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 08:59 PM
If Biily the Bumpkin paid a bit more attention to the game instead of prancing around like a bow legged bent fingered demented monkey, he might start to get a few more decisions close to being right.
Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant | Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 09:52 PM
I put down Dilly Clownden for 3 howlers in the match.
Lara is lucky it was Dar at the end Symonds was bowling from. Dilly would have gone up with the appeal.
Just 'cause it looks bad doesn't make it out.
Posted by: Some other Bruce | Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 10:02 PM
Willy Doh!Man is to put it bluntly a spaz. I personaly do not want to see someone having an eppy when signaling a four or six.... the bent finger, whats all that about???????
Back to Hawk Eye, it just needs...ahem...finley tuning with a sledge hammer, in theory it is a great idea, in practice it is a piece of tosh
Posted by: Vaughny | Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 11:52 PM
Anyone heard Langers post match comments ?
The little Nuggett stated " I feel extremely privileged to have played my cricket in an era of geniuses like Brian, Sachin & Ricky Ponting "
Odd one out anybody ?
Posted by: Brett Pee | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 12:05 AM
Is this Hawkeye a distant cousin to the Hawkeye used in Wimbledon to call long serves? If so, they both have the same recessive poor eyesight gene.
Posted by: Russell Allen | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 12:17 AM
Brett, who is the odd one out???
Its a bit like Warne or Mgrath saying that they are privileged to have bowled in an era litterd with geniuses such as Giles,Murali,Shoiab and ofourse Lee
Posted by: Vaughny | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 04:05 AM
I know its Punter really... just teasing
Posted by: Vaughny | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 04:07 AM
No- it's Hawkeye & Pierce from the dreaded M*A*S*H.
Posted by: Brett Pee | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 04:42 AM
R. Ponting: 96 tests 158 inns 25 100's 29 50's Average: 56.46
S. Tendulkar: 123 tests 198 inns 34 100's 41 50's Average 57.21
B. Lara: 120 tests 212 inns 30 100's 46 50's Average: 53.20
Since the best two indicators of a batsman's performance are the Average and the ratio of 100's to 50's, it would seem that the odd man out is Brian Lara. His average is only slightly worse than Ponting and Tendulkar's, but his conversion rate is significantly worse than the other two.
The fact that Ponting has scored less runs than either is irrelevant. It's because he has played less innings.
Ricky Ponting is the best batsman in the world at the moment and has been since Tendulkar's form slumped considerably about 5 years ago. The fact that Brian Lara makes a lot of massive scores is pretty meaningless if he makes a lot of shit scores in between. It's also an indication of how scared people are to declare on him.
When it comes down to it, Lara is brilliant - but also reckless, selfish, and more concerned with flair than results. If you had to choose someone to bat for your life you'd choose Ponting ahead of him every time.
Just because he's Australian doesn't mean you HAVE to cut him down like a tall poppy. Sometimes its ok to acknowledge when someone is really, really good.
Posted by: Yobbo | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 05:55 AM
And Ponting is also by far the best fielder of the three, and can also bowl a bit.
Posted by: Yobbo | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 05:59 AM
Nice work on Cricinfo Yobbo !!
Actually sachin is the best bowler of the three- by some distance. Look at his one day stats especially. Punts bowls very occasionially but is still too good for Michael Vaughn.
Then again, i'm probably too good for Michael vaughn.
Posted by: Brett Pee | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 07:36 AM
My sons pet Hamster is to good for Vaughn
I knew I would get a reaction, but jeez there is no coming back at you is there Stato!!!!!!
One of the discussions during Englands second test when Vaughn came in for his second innings, was of how we could do with Ponting at the crease to dig in and see us through. There see, I have aknowledged the jug-eared one (still a shite captain though)
Posted by: Vaughny | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 03:50 PM
Well Sachin hasn't really bowled for a long time. When he first started he bowled a lot like Steve Waugh and took a lot of one day wickets. After a while he started bowling leggies and now doesn't bowl at all.
Posted by: Yobbo | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 04:28 PM
Do you keep records of the sparkies who flunked the "Appearance, representation" part of your syllabus, Tony? I'm just wondering if there is any overlap with the designers of Horkeye. I thought Horkeye really outdid itself today with the Brad Hodge lbw. The extreme late swing was probably taking it down leg side, but Horkeye showed it cleanly hitting middle stump. I'd be much amused to see Horkeye's analysis of the bowling actions of certain subcontinentals, or the caning techniques of certain cricket writers.
Posted by: Clem Snide | Monday, November 28, 2005 at 12:09 AM
Here here
Posted by: Vaughny | Monday, November 28, 2005 at 06:28 AM
Monday, 12.43pm. Bowden Strikes again. Ramnaresh Sarwan chopped by Silly Billy in the most appalling decision since...his last one.
Posted by: SaggyGreenCricketCircus | Monday, November 28, 2005 at 12:48 PM
This time it's Dar. So blatant was the inside edge, even Cricinfo noticed it.
46.6 Warne to DR Smith, OUT: One more in this over! flipper on the off stump, Dwayne moves forward to defend, gets a big inside edge onto
his pads, Aleem Dar gives it out, 5-fer for Warne
DR Smith lbw b Warne 0 (2b 0x4 0x6)
Bring on the robots.
Posted by: SaggyGreenCricketCircus | Monday, November 28, 2005 at 02:15 PM
Clem, if I was posting yesterday I would have mentioned Hodge. You are spot on.
It would appear Pawk doesn't update quick enough to plot a trajectory that involves sharp late movement. All the dodgy episodes seem to show a progression of the ball's general flight. In other words, Hawk plots the ball going straight-on from well before it reaches the batsman, thus missing late swing and spin.
Anyhoo, no matter how they do Hawk, it's a farce. I can't for a minute believe that the commentators who are charged with the responsibility of selling us this lemon aren't sitting in the box and groaning "Fuck, not again! There goes some more credibility."
Posted by: Tony.T | Monday, November 28, 2005 at 07:32 PM
I reckon the operators on the Pawk Pie are sitting in the box groaning"Fuck, not again, this stubbies empty, pass me another one!"
Only way to explain how the thing is so blatantly wrong.
They are all pissed.
Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant | Monday, November 28, 2005 at 09:44 PM
Hawkeye is dumb, but what's even dumber is not allowing the replay umpire to see the strike zone on the pitch, which actually *is* useful.
Posted by: Yobbo | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 05:11 AM
And now the Clownden's latest antics in making a big song and dance over telling Shiv to get everyone to shut up once the bowler has started has become the straw that has broken this camel's back.
I *want* him replaced by a hat stand with a TV camera. Farken disgraceful.
Posted by: Some other Bruce | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 01:01 PM
Pedro: Kerry O'Keefe suggested that Pawk was invented by a bunch of students hanging off the end of bongs.
Yobbo: It strikes me that the umps could benefit from having a couple of lines actually drawn on the pitch.
S.O.Bruce: Did you hear what happened straight after? The Windies fielders started whooping and hollering like maniacs. Talk about provoking the kiddies. Hat stands for me, too. For Bowden, anyway. Then The Doyen remarked "Who needs to commentate."
Posted by: Tony.T | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 01:08 PM
Everyone nods gravely when Hawkeye makes a solemn pronouncement, yet my PC has crashed three times this morning. Sheesh.
And Bowden can fuck right off. It's bad enough when the AFL umpires think they're stars these days.
Posted by: carneagles | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 02:55 PM
By everyone I trust you mean the Channel Nine turds who are trying to con us into believing Pawk is the business, and not a rank lemon.
Posted by: Tony.T | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 03:32 PM
The same "everyone" as used in the phrase, "I'm sure everyone would agree that this piece of cricket-themed tat would make a superb addition to any home or bar".
Posted by: carneagles | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 03:38 PM
Ahhh, THAT everyone. Framed or Unframed?
Posted by: Tony.T | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 03:39 PM
Framed. And bearing the genuine signature of Don Bradman's employee.
Posted by: carneagles | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 03:41 PM
You mean the employee he ripped off at the Adelaide Stock exchange? That might be worth something, afterall. As would Simon O'Donnell's cowboy hat.
Posted by: Tony.T | Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 03:47 PM
See. Michael Clarke should NEVER have been dropped.
Posted by: Brett Pee | Saturday, December 03, 2005 at 02:30 AM