DAR, HE BLOWS!

We'll take our scape-goats wherever we can get them, thank you. Time to break out the effigies and kero.

On the attack to save series

Ricky Ponting and Simon Katich, quite rightly, were up before match referee Ranjan Madugalle when play ended, receiving healthy fines to go on top of losing a match that so nearly was won.

They will be reflecting on the nature of rough justice.

In an ideal world, umpire Aleem Dar would have been cited along side them for glaring incompetence, but that isn't how it works. His decision that Katich was out LBW to Steve Harmison bordered on the ludicrous.

And no matter we have certain differences of opinion, Spanky's articles are always the ones I read.

Australians still have fight left in them

Had umpire Aleem Dar had even a moderate match they might have pulled it off. Instead he made numerous palpable mistakes, and the visitors were the victims each time.

Australia has often enjoyed the blessing of the gods and is now feeling their wrath. Umpires are affected by the mood of a match.

It is not specifically that Dar's hand stays doggedly down for the Aussie bowlers, most of the time it's the same for the Poms. Numbers-wise, this probably reflects the benefit of the doubt. Trouble is with Dar, while he errs on the side of caution 90% of the time, the other 10% of the time, the ones that are allegedly plumb, are anything but. Then again, maybe they are plumb. Plumb wrong. It is bizzare!

Spanky is right that umpires get swept up in the moment, that clearly happened in India in 2001 and looks as if it is happening here, too. But with Dar you'd expect he would get at least some decisions right.

There is a suspicion that the umpiring fraternity have decided Australia (especially Warne) have had some favourable outcomes in the past, and have decided to do something to redress the balance. The numbers back that up.

Comments

[pat]

I started to read Roebuck's shart until this "Afterwards everyone knew they had taken part in one of the finest matches played since, well, Old Trafford and Birmingham 2005."

It must be a either a symptom of the 2000's myopic hyperbolic onanistic journalism that all sporting contests are now "the greatest ever" or it may be true that somehow we have entered into an age of sporting greatness the likes of which no man has set eyes on before. Considering that Roebuck has been given the nickname of Spanky, in this case I assume the former and am quite certain it is not the latter.

Apparently this series has been one of the greatest ever. Never mind the shithouse fielding from both teams, the rarity of a flawless innings from a batsman (Punter's is the best by far), the farcical umpiring, etc etc no this series has been fan-fucking-briltastc. I liken it to wearing shoes 2 sizes too small for a day and then experiencing the exhilaration of taking them off at night - "the greatest shoes ever!"

Close scores are exciting. Having tailenders dig in where others failed is gutsy. But shithouse cricket does not make for a "great series".

Not to take it away from the Poms. They have been too good for us. But lets face it - the standard has been, shall we say, pretty fucked, with patches of excellence thrown in. Like a poo with bits of carrot. Kinda healthy but what it is never the less.

Roebuck is a cokhed - he's an uppity pom - say no more.

[pat]

" Like Andrew Flintoff, he has married well and become civilised." This is just garbage.

Who does Roebuck think he is to come out with remarks like that? I suppose the rest of the uncivilised Australian's in the team sent away for mail-order-brides just as our very own premier did. Ahh now I understand - thanks Spanky.

[Tony.T]

Sure the cricket standard has been shithouse, but I, for one, don't think that excludes the series from being considered a corker. It's what I love about the game. Cricket is so much more than the sum of it's component parts.

"Like Andrew Flintoff, he has married well and become civilised." This is just garbage.

It's a good point, Pat. I don't think Spanky is married, so it's a fair tip he is not speaking from experience. However, Ponting, for one (I can't speak for Flinty) seems more settled these days.

The civilized bit is cranking up the hyperbole, though. Patronising, at best.

[Tony.T]

Here is an interesting search request, Pat.

[Tony.T]

And on a separate, but relevant, topic here's another.

[pat]

Here's one I came across by chance

[pat]

I would agree with you Tony re. that Roebuck makes a good point with the fact that since Punter got married he hasn't been punched out at the 'Bourbon and Beefsteak'. But to say Punter married "well"? This is not too far short of saying something like, the English have dominated this series because they have more 'well born' players than Oz.

Roebuck always goes too far, too long.

I have studied his efforts over the last few years and conclude that he makes one or two points around which he compounds and ornaments adjectivally and with literary references irrelevant to the subject, again and again, over and over like he was composing a Baroque Rococo fugue to cricket.

Where Pachabel inspires with his ever spiralling layered chords Roebuck numbs with his gurgling reiterations.

[Brett Pee]

Has anyone noticed Punter's increasing likeness to George W. Bush ? And judging by the way he walked off aiming a volley of abuse at the Poms dressing room, he obviously shares Bush's Diplomatic skills. The Pommers are having a field day, judging by their tabloids " You Pratt Ponting !! " ran one recent headline.

Yes, the quality of the cricket HAS been shit. Absolutely. Too many stupid shots with blokes replicating 20/20 cricket in the Test Arena. Haydos has been undone, ditto Langer, ditto Gilly and although Gillespie has come to the end of the road signs for the future are promising at least with Tait. The stars for me in this series have been Warnie, of course, and the incomparable Lee. Why step up our search for an all rounder like Flintoff when we have one ready to step up to the plate. A clue....His Christian name is Brett.

Spanky ? I have to admit that at times he can be a compelling read, if you forget he is a Pom, but at other times the bloke is typing through his backside. Well, you can't have everything i suppose.

The Oval will obviously be a flat one, but Murali undone the Poms a few years back on a dustbowl. If the weather is hot and we win the toss and FINALLY get that elusive 450 + on the board i reckon we should play both leggies and go for it. I cannot envisage England playing for a draw, they will play the same way they have all series and perhaps could play into our hands. I, for one, have not yet given up on our chances of keeping the Ashes, and will only conduct a post mortem if we fail in the 5th Test.

Keep the faith.

[dearieme]

If you were to pick a best 11 based on the series so far, how many Aussies would be in it?
Gilchrist, obviously, for not being Geraint. McGrath rather than Hoggard and Warne rather than Giles. Possibly Lee? Ponting rather than Bell. 4 or 5 out of 11. So it might have been quite evenly matched if McGrath hadn't been showing his age.

[nick]

Best 11.

1. Marcus Trescothick
2. JL/Strauss (dead heat)
3. Punter
4. M.Vaughan (c)
5. M. Clarke
6. Freddie
7. Gilchrist
8. Lee
9. Warne
10. Jones
11. McGrath

12th man (men...) - A.Dar, S.Bucknor, R. Koertzen, B.Bowden

[Chris]

Long time reader, first time commenter.

Best heading pun ever. Thank you.

[Tony.T]

Thanks, Chris.

That is a very interesting team, Nick. In fact, I will be putting one of my own together at the end of the seies, and it mightn't be too far removed from yours.