WHAT A CHUCKING SPANKER!

Earlier this year, Spanky Roebuck declared Murali's Doosra to be a disgrace. In other words, a rank chuck.

Murali must chuck out the doosra

Now the doosra is to be confronted by scientists and experts on the appropriate committee. Murali cannot ignore their conclusions because then further reports will be made. Undoubtedly the delivery is to be declared illegal, and rightly so, because it is ugly and the elbow does straighten. Spectators can see the straightening with the naked eye. It was more obvious in Colombo because Murali was tired and then a man's action always deteriorates.

Now, today, in light of the ludicrously unenforceable ICC proposal, Roebuck's penned the  most disingenuous, smug and patronising cricket article written in Australia this year. He's suddenly declared Murali's no longer a chucker and that magically, he "has been made legitimate", when, in fact, it's quite the opposite; Murali is still illegitimate, but to excuse it, everyone else has been made illegitimate too.

Chucking finally finds a commonsense solution

Everyone throws. No one throws. Take your pick. Cricket has never dealt satisfactorily with the issue of illegal actions. An inordinate amount of time has been wasted upon the subject. An arriving alien could be forgiven for assuming it is the hottest topic in the game and that batsmen around the world were being battered by baseball pitchers in the guise of leather-flingers. In fact, willow-wielders are dictating terms and precious few have been taken to hospital this decade.

There's only one conclusion; Roebuck's taking the piss.

Comments

[Clem Snide]

I'm sure it's just a coincidence, but why do the ICC's procedures for identifying chuckers remind me of the sharia law requirements for getting a rape conviction?

[Tony.T]

At least Sharia Law is cut and dried. Especially cut.

Look at this from below.

"Guess what, Clem. I was in Gaslight Records today and whaddaya know ... "

http://aftergrogblog.blogs.com/agb/2004/11/not_only_but_on.html

[Clem Snide]

Tony:

You would have seen my magnificent songwriting skills amply demonstrated in the Chuck Off post.

[Tony.T]

Now you need to put a tune to it. It's a long way to Tipperary might suit.

[Big Ramifications]

How does that saying go? "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." It kinda reminds me of this current debacle.

Murali supporters doth offer too many excuses, methinks.

A sure sign of guilt in my books.

Has anyone got a complete list of excuses or quasi-excuses regarding Murali's action? This is what I've come up with off the top of my head.

* A deformity from birth.
* He is simply not a chucker. (Just ask Bruce Yardley.)
* Refuse to pick umpires that have "called" him in the past.
* Anyone who disagrees is racist.
* Has previously been cleared by the IOC so no further correspondence will be entered into.
* Him chucking is an optical illusion. (This excuse was offered by a UWA biomechanist for chrissakes!)
* His arm extends a mere 10 degrees so that makes it OK.
* Let's change the law.
* Everyone else chucks.

Jee. Suss. Christ.

[Tony.T]

That's it in a nutshell, Big. They're all over the shop. Guilty.