MORE GABBA GOLD

Yesterday I accidentally mentioned Aussie cricketer Greg Ritchie. Accidentally, at first, that is. In the same way Fleming discovered bread mould cured sore throats, some Greek guy's wet bathroom floor became an Aussie symbol of Unionism, and an apple gave Isaac Newton a headache, Greg Ritchie turned Gabba Garbage into Gabba Gold.

Some of you may remember Greg Ritchie. Some of you may not. Anyway, Fat Cat, as he is known, was a mediocre batsman during Aussie cricket's great era of domination abomination during the early to mid 1980's.

Some others of you may remember him as an Aussie tourist in the West Indies. Wallowing in a blow-up plastic swimming pool, swilling rum and waddling onto the oval at Sabina Park in Kingston, Jamaica "Mon" to help Steve Waugh celebrate his series winning double century (Thanks to Courtney Brown).

Some other others an incident at Perth airport where he called an Indian counter jockey a "F**kin' Curry Muncher!"? Actually this can't be true. There are no Curry Munchers in Perth. Just Skippies, Yarpies, Bath Dodgers and Kiwis.

Not yet? Whaddabout Mahatma Coat? A pathetic parody of an Indian living in Australia. I love stereotypes, but only the good ones.

Oh....him.

Yes. Him. Anyway, this day at the Gabba, Fat Cat was with veteran pigeon impressario, Bill Lawry. The Windies were playing Pakistan and the Windies were bowling. I think it was Moin "I didn't say anything unpleasant" Khan facing Ian Bishop. I'm not 100% sure of the names, but that doesn't matter.

Cat, F.: "In comes Bishop. Bowls. Moin's down the wicket. Skies the ball towards Mid-On. This is going to be out. Walsh is running back. Here comes Ambrose. They're gonna collide. No. Great catch by Walsh. Great work on the high ball. Could have been straight out of a Rugby League State Of Origin game at Lang Park. Just like Alfie Langer.

Fat Mahatma cranks it up a notch:

"LANGER'S AFTER A HIGH BALL FROM KING WALLY LEWIS. HE'S NEARLY THERE. HE'S GOING TO CATCH IT. HE DOES. HE ROUNDS THE DEFENDER. DODGES ANOTHER ONE. HE PLONKS THE BALL CLEANLY UNDER THE POSTS. GREAT TRY. WONDERFUL RUGBY ... BILL LAWRY, AS A VICTORIAN, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THAT IN AUSSIE RULES PARLANCE?"

Bill, deader than a factory full of pans: "Caught Walsh. Bowled Bishop."

Comments

[Carine]

Im in desperate need of the "Mahatma coat" I lent it to a friend and they've pissed off with it, im so angry, I happen to get a really good laugh at listening to it. If you can point me in the right direction of downloading it from somewhere i'd be most appreciated
Cheers.

[Tony.T]

Sorry Carine. Can't help there. You may have picked up that Mahatma's not my cup of tea. Allow me to recommend Bill Hicks, Woody Allen doing "Mrs Berkowicz & the Moose", those wacky Monty Python boys, Withnail & I, even Rodney Rude. All in all, I think you'd be better of bypassing The Coat. For all concerned.

[brett pee]

perth IS full of scummers, backies and assorted crims though.

[brett pee]

perth IS full of scummers, backies and assorted crims though.

[Tony.T]

And bloggers.

[Brett Pee]

Maybe the occasional Abbo, Paddy or Kiwi. But, jeez mate, even the occasional bloody pom!!

[Tony.T]

"Occasional" Pom? I heard they were gonna change Perth to Perthshire.

PS: What happened to Mr Sloggy, Brett.

[Brett Pee]

Or, if the Poms are in town-Poofshire

[Tony.T]

Don't be silly, Brett.

[brett pee]

i've seen "fat cat" ritchie myself recently in Bris, he's looking pretty crook mate, just like a recent St Kilda fatcat of note!! Mr Sloggy bounced back to Darwin mate.

[brett pee]

Melbourne HAS been known to "accomodate" the odd disparate kiwi, slimy slav and greasy eyetites but they add to our culture mate!!

[Brett Pee]

Tony Lockett is GOD by the way.