Long time Melbourne Cricket Club (MCC) member, the recently dead inter-galactically famous Doctor Zacchary Smith, was today pictured cheering Australia home to VICTORY in the Fourth Test at Melbourne. Fully aware that Australia have traditionally made light work of chasing lowish totals, Dr Smith was surprised to find his characteristic sang-froid rudely upset by the continual clatter of wickets as Australia tentatively approached the last day target of 107.
The Doctor, somewhat agitated at the home side's struggle for runs during the pre-lunch session was at one point asked for his opinion of Matthew Hayden's intemperate dismissal off the first ball of the day. A perturbed Dr Smith replied, "He's a Bubble-Headed Booby".
Fortunately for Dr Smith, my coffee cup and the TV remote control, Australia managed to conquer yet another cricketing Everest and thus register their 33rd victory under Steve Waugh. Waugh has now become the most successful captain in Australian cricket history.
Dr Smith, however, was less congratulatory. When asked for his opinion of Waugh after the captain's erratic batting performances, dubious first innings declaration and charitable offer to ask England to bat again he was quoted as saying; "A Broken-down Has Been".
Thus echoing the thoughts of many an Australian cricket fan.
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