If you don't know the excellent Richard Hinds you can catch him at the Fairfax Club doing Stand Up Sports Writing. Sometimes he's on; sometimes he's off. In Todays' Age he's on and off. But mainly on. He's cobbled together a collection of one-liners about why we should enjoy the latest episode of The Ashes.
Botty gags:
Having been a pain in the bum for England, it will be interesting to see how Matthew Hayden copes with one himself
Hat gags:
Will Steve Waugh's Baggy Green Threads hang together until his final Test in Sydney.
Fat gags:
Shane "Skinny" Warne is likely to become the first Australian bowler to take 500 wickets before the end of the series, rivalling his feat on the last Ashes tour, when he became the first Australian bowler to eat 500 pizzas.
Pyjama gags (Remind me. Who was the third WSC team last summer?):
On December 13, the one-day series begins with a day-nighter between Australia and England at the SCG. There, under a shower of beer cups and ice cream cones, you'll gain a true appreciation of Test cricket.
Shipping news gags:
There is considerable pleasure to be taken hearing BBC commentator Jonathan Agnew greet breakfasting English listeners with news of their brave lads' latest disaster.
Footy gags:
Everyone likes to see Collingwood lose - even if it is the latest inclusion in the England squad, Paul Collingwood.
(Richard follows Collingwood.)
All in all, an enjoyable read. However, it does raise an issue that I would certainly write about if I had my own paid column inches.
To whit: why get upset with the Aussies for kicking arse? It's great!
Yet, every time I open a paper I'm confronted with an article whining about the lack of a contest. Their eminences, Mike Coward, Greg Baum, Malcolm Conn and Robert Craddock keep telling us the game sucks because we've made a habit out of flogging the Bath Dodgers. So what. Spanky Roebuck hopes for a contest too, but he's a Pom so that goes without saying. Does anyone suspect that this is all a front for the paying public? I'll bet that in the press boxes hereabouts the English hacks are copping a hiding.
Remember how it was a few years ago. Todays' so called pundits may long for a contest and fear for the future of the game, but what goes around, comes around. It does. I swear.
Comments