After Grog Blog

CONDIMENTAL CRUELTY

[Enter shop]

~~ Yes, please?

~~ Two cheese and pickle sandwiches please.

[Fetches bread]

~~ That cheese, ham, tomato?

~~ No. Cheese and pickle.

~~ Pickle?

~~ You know, the yellow stuff?

~~ No know.

~~ No know pickle? It's almost as common as Vegemite.

~~ Ahh, you want Vegemite.

~~ No, pickles.

~~ Sorry, we no have.

~~ That's alright. Thanks anyway.

[Exit shop]

[Enter shop]

~~ Yes, please.

~~ Two cheese and pickle sandwiches please.

~~ Cheese and paper?

~~ No, cheese and pickle.

~~ Pickle. You know, the yellow stuff?

~~ Ahh, pickle.

[Fetches bread]

~~ Sorry, we have run out of bread. Only rolls.

~~ That's alright. Thanks anyway.

[Exit shop hungry]

"LATE" PAYMENT

Quack. Quack.

Tony Tea: Hello?

Caller: Tony Tea?

TT: That's right.

Caller: *** Street Medical Centre here. We are chasing up an unpaid bill.

TT: I have not been there for 20 years.

*SMC: No, not for you, for your father.

TT: What do you want me to do about it?

*SMC: You're his next of kin.

TT: He's dead.

*SMC: The bill is from March 17 for $120.

TT: He died March 21.

*SMC: Yes, we admitted him to hospital.

TT: You must have malpracticed him.

*SMC: I'm sorry?

TT: He was alive, he saw you, he died.

*SMC: He died in Cabrini.

TT: Way to pass the buck.

*SMC: Do you have to be rude?

TT: Which of us is demanding payment for a dead family member? Anyway, why did you wait so long to hit on me?

*SMC: It's what we do.

TT: Send me the bill. Goodbye.